villa rubein and other stories-第50章

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there。　　I　don't　think　any　man　could　have　loved　her　more　than　I　did。

But　there　were　times　when　my　heart　stood　still；　it　didn't　seem　as　if

she　understood　how　much　I　loved　her。　　One　day；　I　remember；　she　coaxed

me　to　take　her　camping。　　We　drifted　down…stream　all　the　afternoon；

and　in　the　evening　pulled　into　the　reeds　under　the　willow…boughs　and

lit　a　fire　for　her　to　cook　bythough；　as　a　matter　of　fact；　our

provisions　were　cooked　alreadybut　you　know　how　it　is；　all　the

romance　was　in　having　a　real　fire。　　'We　won't　pretend；'　she　kept

saying。　　While　we　were　eating　our　supper　a　hare　came　to　our　clearing…

…a　big　fellowhow　surprised　he　looked！　　'The　tall　hare；'　Eilie

called　him。　　After　that　we　sat　by　the　ashes　and　watched　the　shadows；

till　at　last　she　roamed　away　from　me。　　The　time　went　very　slowly；　I

got　up　to　look　for　her。　　It　was　past　sundown。　　I　called　and　called。

It　was　a　long　time　before　I　found　herand　she　was　like　a　wild　thing；

hot　and　flushed；　her　pretty　frock　torn；　her　hands　and　face　scratched；

her　hair　down；　like　some　beautiful　creature　of　the　woods。　　If　one

loves；　a　little　thing　will　scare　one。　　I　didn't　think　she　had　noticed

my　fright；　but　when　we　got　back　to　the　boat　she　threw　her　arms　round

my　neck；　and　said；　'I　won't　ever　leave　you　again！'



〃Once　in　the　night　I　wokea　water…hen　was　crying；　and　in　the

moonlight　a　kingfisher　flew　across。　　The　wonder　on　the　riverthe

wonder　of　the　moon　and　trees；　the　soft　bright　mist；　the　stillness！　It

was　like　another　world；　peaceful；　enchanted；　far　holier　than　ours。

It　seemed　like　a　vision　of　the　thoughts　that　come　to　onehow　seldom！

and　go　if　one　tries　to　grasp　them。　　Magicpoetry…sacred！〃　　He　was

silent　a　minute；　then　went　on　in　a　wistful　voice：　〃I　looked　at　her；

sleeping　like　a　child；　with　her　hair　loose；　and　her　lips　apart；　and　I

thought：　'God　do　so　to　me；　if　ever　I　bring　her　pain！'　　How　was　I　to

understand　her？　the　mystery　and　innocence　of　her　soul！　　The　river　has

had　all　my　light　and　all　my　darkness；　the　happiest　days；　and　the

hours　when　I've　despaired；　and　I　like　to　think　of　it；　for；　you　know；

in　time　bitter　memories　fade；　only　the　good　remain。。。。　　Yet　the　good

have　their　own　pain；　a　different　kind　of　aching；　for　we　shall　never

get　them　back。　　Sir；〃　he　said；　turning　to　me　with　a　faint　smile；

〃it's　no　use　crying　over　spilt　milk。。。。　　In　the　neighbourhood　of

Lucy's　inn；　the　Rose　and　MaybushCan　you　imagine　a　prettier　name？　　I

have　been　all　over　the　world；　and　nowhere　found　names　so　pretty　as　in

the　English　country。　　There；　too；　every　blade　of　grass；　and　flower；

has　a　kind　of　pride　about　it；　knows　it　will　be　cared　for；　and　all　the

roads；　trees；　and　cottages；　seem　to　be　certain　that　they　will　live

for　ever。。。。　　But　I　was　going　to　tell　you：　Half　a　mile　from　the　inn

was　a　quiet　old　house　which　we　used　to　call　the　'Convent'though　I

believe　it　was　a　farm。　　We　spent　many　afternoons　there；　trespassing

in　the　orchardEilie　was　fond　of　trespassing；　if　there　were　a　long

way　round　across　somebody　else's　property；　she　would　always　take　it。

We　spent　our　last　afternoon　in　that　orchard；　lying　in　the　long　grass。

I　was　reading　Childe　Harold　for　the　first　timea　wonderful；　a

memorable　poem！　　I　was　at　that　passagethe　bull…fightyou　remember：



〃'Thrice　sounds　the　clarion；　lo！　the　signal　falls；

The　din　expands；　and　expectation　mute'



when　suddenly　Eilie　said：　'Suppose　I　were　to　leave　off　loving　you？'

It　was　as　if　some　one　had　struck　me　in　the　face。　　I　jumped　up；　and

tried　to　take　her　in　my　arms；　but　she　slipped　away；　then　she　turned；

and　began　laughing　softly。　　I　laughed　too。　　I　don't　know　why。。。。









VI



〃We　went　back　to　London　the　next　day；　we　lived　quite　close　to　the

school；　and　about　five　days　a　week　Dalton　came　to　dine　with　us。　　He

would　have　come　every　day；　if　he　had　not　been　the　sort　of　man　who

refuses　to　consult　his　own　pleasure。　　We　had　more　pupils　than　ever。

In　my　leisure　I　taught　my　wife　to　fence。　　I　have　never　seen　any　one

so　lithe　and　quick；　or　so　beautiful　as　she　looked　in　her　fencing

dress；　with　embroidered　shoes。



〃I　was　completely　happy。　　When　a　man　has　obtained　his　desire　he

becomes　careless　and　self…satisfied；　I　was　watchful；　however；　for　I

knew　that　I　was　naturally　a　selfish　man。　　I　studied　to　arrange　my

time　and　save　my　money；　to　give　her　as　much　pleasure　as　I　could。

What　she　loved　best　in　the　world　just　then　was　riding。　　I　bought　a

horse　for　her；　and　in　the　evenings　of　the　spring　and　summer　we　rode

together；　but　when　it　was　too　dark　to　go　out　late；　she　would　ride

alone；　great　distances；　sometimes　spend　the　whole　day　in　the　saddle；

and　come　back　so　tired　she　could　hardly　walk　upstairsI　can't　say

that　I　liked　that。　　It　made　me　nervous；　she　was　so　headlongbut　I

didn't　think　it　right　to　interfere　with　her。　　I　had　a　good　deal　of

anxiety　about　money；　for　though　I　worked　hard　and　made　more　than

ever；　there　never　seemed　enough。　　I　was　anxious　to　saveI　hoped；　of

coursebut　we　had　no　child；　and　this　was　a　trouble　to　me。　　She　grew

more　beautiful　than　ever；　and　I　think　was　happy。　　Has　it　ever　struck

you　that　each　one　of　us　lives　on　the　edge　of　a　volcano？　　There　is；　I

imagine；　no　one　who　has　not　some　affection　or　interest　so　strong　that

he　counts　the　rest　for　nothing；　beside　it。　　No　doubt　a　man　may　live

his　life　through　without　discovering　that。　　But　some　of　us！　　I　am

not　complaining；　what　isis。〃　　He　pulled　the　cap　lower　over　his

eyes；　and　clutched　his　hands　firmly　on　the　top　of　his　stick。　　He　was

like　a　man　who　rushes　his　horse　at　some　hopeless　fence；　unwilling　to

give　himself　time；　for　fear　of　craning　at　the　last　moment。　　〃In　the

spring　of　'78；　a　new　pupil　came　to　me；　a　young　man　of　twenty…one　who

was　destined　for　the　army。　　I　took　a　fancy　to　him；　and　did　my　best　to

turn　him　into　a　good　swordsman；　but　there　was　a　kind　of　perverse

recklessness　in　him；　for　a　few　minutes　one　would　make　a　great

impression；　then　he　would　grow　utterly　careless。　　'Francis；'　I　would

say；　'if　I　were　you　I　should　be　ashamed。'　　'Mr。　Brune；'　he　would

answer；　'why　should　I　be　ashamed？　　I　didn't　make　myself。'　　God　knows；

I　wish　to　do　him　justice；　he　had　a　heartone　day　he　drove　up　in　a

cab；　and　brought　in　his　poor　dog；　who　had　been　run　over；　and　was

dying：　For　half　an　hour　he　shut　himself　up　with　its　body；　we　could

hear　him　sobbing　like　a　child；　he　came　out　with　his　eyes　all　red；　and

cried：　'I　know　where　to　find　the　brute　who　drove　over　him；'　and　off

he　rushed。　　He　had　beautiful　Italian　eyes；　a　slight　figure；　not　very

tall；　dark　hair；　a　little　dark　moustache；　and　his　lips　were　always　a

trifle　partedit　was　that；　and　his　walk；　and　the　way　he　drooped　his

eyelids；　which　gave　him　a　peculiar；　soft；　proud　look。　　I　used　to　tell

him　that　he'd　never　make　a　soldier！　　'Oh！'　he'd　answer；　'that'll　be

all　right　when　the　time　comes！　　He　believed　in　a　kind　of　luck　that

was　to　do　everything　for　him；　when　the　time　came。　　One　day　he　came　in

as　I　was　giving　Eilie　her　lesson。　　This　was　the　first　time　they　saw

each　other。　　After　that　he　came　more　often；　and　sometimes　stayed　to

dinner　with　us。　　I　won't　deny；　sir；　that　I　was　glad　to　welcome　him；　I

thought　it　good　for　Eilie。　　Can　there　be　anything　more　odious；〃　he

burst　out；　〃than　such　a　self…complacent　blindness？　　There　are　people

who　say；　'Poor　man；　he　had　such　faith！'　　Faith；　sir！　　Conceit！　　I　was

a　foolin　this　world　one　pays　for　folly。。。。



〃The　summer　came；　and　one　Saturday　in　early　June；　Eilie；　I；　and

FrancisI　won't　tell　you　his　other　namewent　riding。　　The　night　had

been　wet；　there　was　no　dust；　and　presently　the　sun　came　outa

glorious　day！　　We　rode　a　long　way。　　About　seven　o'clock　we　started

back…slowly；　for　it　was　still　hot；　and　there　was　all　the　cool　of

night　before　us。　　It　was　nine　o'clock　when　we　came　to　Richmond　Park。

A　grand　place；　Richmond　Park；　and　in　that　half…light　wonderful；　the

deer　moving　so　softly；　you　might　have　thought　they　were　spirits。　　We

were　silent　toogreat　trees　have　that　effect　on　me。。。。



〃Who　can　say　when