painted windows-第4章

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blown　about　like　leaves。

Then　I　saw　what　looked　like　a　high
yellow　wall　advancing　upon　me　　a　roar…
ing　and　fearsome　mass　of　driven　dust；
sticks；　debris。　It　came　over　me　that　my
own　home　might　be　there；　in　strips　and
fragments；　to　beat　me　down　and　kill
me；　and　with　the　thought　came　a　swift
little　vision　out　of　my　geography　of　the
Arabs　in　a　sand…storm　on　the　desert。　I
gathered　up　my　fluttering　dress　skirt；
held　it　tight　about　my　head；　and　lay　flat
upon　the　ground。

It　seemed　as　if　a　long　time　passed；
a　time　in　which　I　knew　very　little　ex…
cept　that　I　was　fighting　for　my　breath
as　I　never　had　fought　for　anything。
There　were　more　hurts　and　bruises
now；　but　they　did　not　matter。　Just　to
draw　my　own　breath　in　my　own　way
seemed　to　be　the　only　thing　in　the
world　that　was　of　any　account。　And
then　there　was　a　shaft　of　flame；　an　ear…
splitting　roar；　and　the　rain　was　upon
us　in　sheets；　in　streams；　in　visible　riv…
ers。

I　imagined　that　it　would　last　a　long
time；　and　wondered　in　a　daze　how　I
could　get　home　in　a　rain　like　that　
for　I　should　have　to　face　it。　I　could
see　that　in　a　few　seconds　the　gutters
had　begun　to　race；　the　road　where　I
lay　was　a　stream；　and　then　　then　the
rain　ceased。　Never　was　anything　so
astonishing。　The　sky　came　out　blue；
tattered　rags　of　cloud　raced　across　it；
and　I　had　time　to　conclude　that；　whip…
ped　and　almost　breathless　though　I
was；　I　was　still　alive。

And　then　I　saw　a　curious　sight。　Down
the　street　in　every　direction　came　rush…
ing　hatless　men　and　women。　Here　and
there　a　wild…eyed　horse　was　being
lashed　along。　All　the　town　was　coming。
They　were　in　their　work　clothes；　in
their　slippers；　in　their　wrappers　　they
were　in　anything　and　everything。　Some
of　them　sobbed　as　they　ran；　some　called
aloud　names　that　I　knew。　They　were
fathers　and　mothers　looking　for　their
children。

And　who　was　that　　that　woman　with
a　white　face；　with　hair　falling　about　her
shoulders；　where　it　had　fallen　as　she
ran　　that　woman　whose　breath　came
between　her　teeth　strangely　and　who
called　my　name　over　and　over；　bleat…
ingly；　as　a　mother　sheep　calls　its　lamb？
At　first　I　did　not　recognise　her；　and
then；　at　last；　I　knew。　And　that　creature
with　the　rolling　eyes　and　the　curious
ash…coloured　face　who；　mumbling　some…
thing　over　and　over　in　his　throat；　came
for　me；　and　snatched　me　up　and　wiped
my　face　free　of　mud；　and　felt　of　me
here　and　there　with　trembling　hands　
who　was　he？

And　breaking　out　of　the　crowd　of
men　who　had　come　running　from　the
street　of　stores　and　offices；　was　an…
other　strange　being；　with　a　sort　of　bat…
tle　light　in　his　eyes；　who；　seeing　me；
gathered　me　to　him　and　bore　me　away
toward　home。　Looking　back；　I　could
see　the　woman　I　knew　following；　lean…
ing　on　the　arm　of　the　boy　with　the　roll…
ing　eyes；　whose　eyes　had　ceased　to　roll；
and　who　was　quite　recognisable　now　as
Toot。

A　happiness　that　was　almost　as　ter…
rible　as　sorrow　welled　up　in　my　heart。
I　did　not　weep；　or　laugh；　or　talk。　All
I　had　experienced　had　carried　me　be…
yond　mere　excitement　into　exultation。
I　exulted　in　life；　in　love。　My　conceit
and　sulkiness　died　in　that　storm；　as　did
many　another　thing。　I　was　alive。　I
was　loved。　I　said　it　over　and　over　to
myself　silently；　in　〃my　heart's　deep
core；〃　while　mother　washed　me　with
trembling　hands　in　my　own　dear　room；
bound　up　my　hurts；　braided　my　hair；
and　put　me；　in　a　fresh　night…dress；　into
my　bed。　I　do　not　recall　that　we　talked
to　each　other；　but　in　every　caress　of
her　hands　as　she　worked　I　felt　the　un…
spoken　assurances　of　a　love　such　as　I
had　not　dreamed　of。

Father　had　gone　running　back　to　the
school　to　see　if　he　could　be　of　any　as…
sistance　to　his　neighbours；　and　had
taken　Toot　with　him；　but　they　were
back　presently　to　say　that　beyond　a　few
sharp　injuries　and　broken　bones；　no
harm　had　been　done　to　the　children。　It
was　considered　miraculous　that　no　one
had　been　killed　or　seriously　injured；
and　I　noticed　that　father's　voice　trem…
bled　as　he　told　of　it；　and　that　mother
could　not　answer；　and　that　Toot　sobbed
like　a　big　silly　boy。

Then　as　we　talked　together；　behold；
a　second　storm　was　upon　us　　a　sharp
black　blast　of　wind　and　rain；　not　ter…
rifying；　like　the　other；　but　with　an
〃I've…come…to…spend…the…day〃　sort　of
aspect。

But　no　one　seemed　to　mind　very
much。　I　was　carried　down　to　the　sit…
ting…room。　Toot　busied　himself　com…
ing　and　going　on　this　errand　and　on
that；　fastening　the　doors；　closing　the
windows；　running　out　to　see　to　the　ani…
mals；　and　coming　back　again。　Father
and　mother　set　the　table。　They　kept
close　together；　and　now　and　then　they
looked　over　at　me；　without　saying　any…
thing；　but　with　shining　eyes。

The　storm　died　down　to　a　quiet　rain。
From　the　roof　of　the　porch　the　drops
fell　in　silver　strings；　like　beads。　Then
the　sun　came　out　and　turned　them　into
shining　crystal。　The　birds　began　to
sing　again；　and　when　we　threw　open　the
windows　delicious　odours　of　fresh　earth
and　flowering　shrub　greeted　us。　Mother
began　to　sing　as　she　worked。　And　I
sank　softly　to　sleep；　thrilled　with　the
marvels　of　the　world　　not　of　the　tem…
pest；　but　of　the　peace。

The　sweet　familiarity　of　the　faces
and　the　walls　and　the　furniture　and　the
garden　was　like　a　blessing。　There　was
not　a　chair　there　that　I　would　have　ex…
changed　for　any　other　chair　　not　a　tree
that　I　would　have　parted　with　　not　a
custom　of　that　simple；　busy　place　that
I　would　have　changed。　I　knew　now　all
my　stupidity　　and　my　good　fortune。



III

FRIENDSHIP

WHEN　I　look　back　upon　the　village
where　I　lived　as　a　child；　I　can…
not　remember　that　there　were　any　divi…
sions　in　our　society。　This　group　went
to　the　Congregational　church；　and　that
to　the　Presbyterian；　but　each　family
felt　itself　to　be　as　good　as　any　other；
and　even　if；　ordinarily；　some　of　them
withdrew　themselves　in　mild　exclusive…
ness；　on　all　occasions　of　public　celebra…
tion；　or　when　in　trouble；　we　stood　to…
gether　in　the　pleasantest　and　most　un…
affected　democracy。

There　were　only　the　〃Bad　Madi…
gans〃　outside　the　pale。

The　facts　about　the　Bad　Madigans
were；　no　doubt；　serious　enough；　but　the
fiction　was　even　more　appalling。　As　to
facts；　the　father　drank；　the　mother　fol…
lowed　suit；　the　appearance　of　the　house
　a　ramshackle　old　place　beyond　the
fair…grounds　　was　a　scandal；　the　chil…
dren　could　not　be　got　to　go　to　school
for　any　length　of　time；　and；　when　they
were　there；　each　class　in　which　they
were　put　felt　itself　to　be　in　disgrace；
and　the　dislike　focused　upon　the　in…
truders；　sent　them；　sullen　and　hateful；
back　to　their　lair。　And；　indeed；　the
Madigan　house　seemed　little　more　than
a　lair。　It　had　been　rather　a　fine　house
once；　and　had　been　built　for　the　oc…
cupancy　of　the　man　who　owned　the　fair…
grounds；　but　he　choosing　finally　to　live
in　the　village；　had　permitted　the　house
to　fall　into　decay；　until　only　a　family
with　no　sense　of　order　or　self…respect
would　think　of　occupying　it。

When　there　occurred　one　of　the　rare
burglaries　in　the　village；　when　anything
was　missing　from　a　clothes…line；　or　a
calf　or　pig　disappeared；　it　was　gen…
erally　laid　to　the　Madigans。　Unac…
counted…for　fires　were　supposed　to　be
their　doing；　they　were　accorded　respon…
sibility　for　vicious　practical　jokes；　and
it　was　generally　felt　that　before　we
were　through　with　them　they　would
commit　some　blood…curdling　crime。

When；　as　sometimes　happened；　I　had
met　one　of　the　Bad　Madigans　on　the
road；　or　down　on　the　village　street；　my
heart　had　beaten　as　if　I　was　face　to
face　with　a　company　of　banditti；　but
I　cannot　say　that　this　excitement　was
caused　by　aversion　alone。　The　truth
was；　the　Bad　Madigans　fascinated　me。
They　stood　out　from　all　the　others；
proudly　and　disdainfully　like　Robin
Hood　and　his　band；　and　I　could　not　get
over　the　idea　that　they　said：　〃Fetch
me　yonder　bow！〃　to　each　other；　or；
〃Go　slaughter　me　a　ten…tined　buck！〃　I
felt　that　they　were　fortunate　in　not　be…
ing　held　down　to　hours　like　the　rest　of
us。　Out　of　bed　at　six…thirty；　at　table
by　seven；　tidying　bedroom　at　seven…
thirty；　dusting　sitting…room　at　eight；　on
way　to　school　at　eight…thirty；　was　not
for　〃the　likes　of　them！〃　Only　we；
slaves　of　respectability　and　of　an　inor…