modeste mignon-第23章

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　　Do　me　the　honor　to　believe　that　there　is　nothing　low　or

　　commonplace　in　me。　Were　I　Bettina；　for　I　know　to　whom　you　allude；

　　I　should　never　have　become　Madame　von　Arnim；　and　had　I　been　one　of

　　Lord　Byron's　many　loves；　I　should　be　at　this　moment　in　a　cloister。

　　You　have　touched　me　to　the　quick。　You　do　not　know　me；　but　you

　　shall　know　me。　I　feel　within　me　something　that　is　sublime；　of

　　which　I　dare　speak　without　vanity。　God　has　put　into　my　soul　the

　　roots　of　that　Alpine　flower　born　on　the　summits　of　which　I　speak；

　　and　I　cannot　plant　it　in　an　earthen　pot　upon　my　window…sill　and

　　see　it　die。　No；　that　glorious　flower…cup；　single　in　its　beauty；

　　intoxicating　in　its　fragrance；　shall　not　be　dragged　through　the

　　vulgarities　of　life！　it　is　yoursyours；　before　any　eye　has

　　blighted　it；　yours　forever！　Yes；　my　poet；　to　you　belong　my

　　thoughts；all；　those　that　are　secret；　those　that　are　gayest；　my

　　heart　is　yours　without　reserve　and　with　its　infinite　affection。　If

　　you　should　personally　not　please　me；　I　shall　never　marry。　I　can

　　live　in　the　life　of　the　heart；　I　can　exist　on　your　mind；　your

　　sentiments；　they　please　me；　and　I　will　always　be　what　I　am；　your

　　friend。　Yours　is　a　noble　moral　nature；　I　have　recognized　it；　I

　　have　appreciated　it；　and　that　suffices　me。　In　that　is　all　my

　　future。　Do　not　laugh　at　a　young　and　pretty　handmaiden　who　shrinks

　　not　from　the　thought　of　being　some　day　the　old　companion　of　a

　　poet；a　sort　of　mother　perhaps；　or　a　housekeeper；　the　guide　of

　　his　judgment　and　a　source　of　his　wealth。　This　handmaidenso

　　devoted；　so　precious　to　the　lives　of　such　as　youis　Friendship；

　　pure；　disinterested　friendship；　to　whom　you　will　tell　all；　who

　　listens　and　sometimes　shakes　her　head；　who　knits　by　the　light　of

　　the　lamp　and　waits　to　be　present　when　the　poet　returns　home　soaked

　　with　rain；　or　vexed　in　mind。　Such　shall　be　my　destiny　if　I　do　not

　　find　that　of　a　happy　wife　attached　forever　to　her　husband；　I　smile

　　alike　at　the　thought　of　either　fate。　Do　you　believe　France　will　be

　　any　the　worse　if　Mademoiselle　d'Este　does　not　give　it　two　or　three

　　sons；　and　never　becomes　a　Madame　Vilquin…something…or…other？　As

　　for　me；　I　shall　never　be　an　old　maid。　I　shall　make　myself　a

　　mother；　by　taking　care　of　others　and　by　my　secret　co…operation　in

　　the　existence　of　a　great　man；　to　whom　also　I　shall　carry　all　my

　　thoughts　and　all　my　earthly　efforts。



　　I　have　the　deepest　horror　of　commonplaceness。　If　I　am　free；　if　I

　　am　rich　（and　I　know　that　I　am　young　and　pretty）；　I　will　never

　　belong　to　any　ninny　just　because　he　is　the　son　of　a　peer　of

　　France；　nor　to　a　merchant　who　could　ruin　himself　and　me　in　a　day；

　　nor　to　a　handsome　creature　who　would　be　a　sort　of　woman　in　the

　　household；　nor　to　a　man　of　any　kind　who　would　make　me　blush　twenty

　　times　a　day　for　being　his。　Make　yourself　easy　on　that　point。　My

　　father　adores　my　wishes；　he　will　never　oppose　them。　If　I　please　my

　　poet；　and　he　pleases　me；　the　glorious　structure　of　our　love　shall

　　be　built　so　high　as　to　be　inaccessible　to　any　kind　of　misfortune。

　　I　am　an　eaglet；　and　you　will　see　it　in　my　eyes。



　　I　shall　not　repeat　what　I　have　already　said；　but　I　will　put　its

　　substance　in　the　least　possible　number　of　words；　and　confess　to

　　you　that　I　should　be　the　happiest　of　women　if　I　were　imprisoned　by

　　love　as　I　am　now　imprisoned　by　the　wish　and　will　of　a　father。　Ah！

　　my　friend；　may　we　bring　to　a　real　end　the　romance　that　has　come　to

　　us　through　the　first　exercise　of　my　will：　listen　to　its

　　argument：



　　A　young　girl　with　a　lively　imagination；　locked　up　in　a　tower；　is

　　weary　with　longing　to　run　loose　in　the　park　where　her　eyes　only

　　are　allowed　to　rove。　She　invents　a　way　to　loosen　her　bars；　she

　　jumps　from　the　casement；　she　scales　the　park　wall；　she　frolics

　　along　the　neighbor's　swardit　is　the　Everlasting　comedy。　Well；

　　that　young　girl　is　my　soul；　the　neighbor's　park　is　your　genius。　Is

　　it　not　all　very　natural？　Was　there　ever　a　neighbor　that　did　not

　　complain　that　unknown　feet　broke　down　his　trellises？　I　leave　it　to

　　my　poet　to　answer。



　　But　does　the　lofty　reasoner　after　the　fashion　of　Moliere　want

　　still　better　reasons？　Well；　here　they　are。　My　dear　Geronte；

　　marriages　are　usually　made　in　defiance　of　common…sense。　Parents

　　make　inquiries　about　a　young　man。　If　the　Leanderwho　is　supplied

　　by　some　friend；　or　caught　in　a　ball…roomis　not　a　thief；　and　has

　　no　visible　rent　in　his　reputation；　if　he　has　the　necessary

　　fortune；　if　he　comes　from　a　college　or　a　law…school　and　so　fulfils

　　the　popular　ideas　of　education；　and　if　he　wears　his　clothes　with　a

　　gentlemanly　air；　he　is　allowed　to　meet　the　young　lady；　whose

　　mother　has　ordered　her　to　guard　her　tongue；　to　let　no　sign　of　her

　　heart　or　soul　appear　on　her　face；　which　must　wear　the　smile　of　a

　　danseuse　finishing　a　pirouette。　These　commands　are　coupled　with

　　instructions　as　to　the　danger　of　revealing　her　real　character；　and

　　the　additional　advice　of　not　seeming　alarmingly　well　educated。　If

　　the　settlements　have　all　been　agreed　upon；　the　parents　are　good…

　　natured　enough　to　let　the　pair　see　each　other　for　a　few　moments；

　　they　are　allowed　to　talk　or　walk　together；　but　always　without　the

　　slightest　freedom；　and　knowing　that　they　are　bound　by　rigid　rules。

　　The　man　is　as　much　dressed　up　in　soul　as　he　is　in　body；　and　so　is

　　the　young　girl。　This　pitiable　comedy；　mixed　with　bouquets；　jewels；

　　and　theatre…parties　is　called　〃paying　your　addresses。〃　It　revolts

　　me：　I　desire　that　actual　marriage　shall　be　the　result　of　a

　　previous　and　long　marriage　of　souls。　A　young　girl；　a　woman；　has

　　throughout　her　life　only　this　one　moment　when　reflection；　second

　　sight；　and　experience　are　necessary　to　her。　She　plays　her　liberty；

　　her　happiness；　and　she　is　not　allowed　to　throw　the　dice；　she　risks

　　her　all；　and　is　forced　to　be　a　mere　spectator。　I　have　the　right；

　　the　will；　the　power　to　make　my　own　unhappiness；　and　I　use　them；　as

　　did　my　mother；　who；　won　by　beauty　and　led　by　instinct；　married　the

　　most　generous；　the　most　liberal；　the　most　loving　of　men。　I　know

　　that　you　are　free；　a　poet；　and　noble…looking。　Be　sure　that　I

　　should　not　have　chosen　one　of　your　brothers　in　Apollo　who　was

　　already　married。　If　my　mother　was　won　by　beauty；　which　is　perhaps

　　the　spirit　of　form；　why　should　I　not　be　attracted　by　the　spirit

　　and　the　form　united？　Shall　I　not　know　you　better　by　studying　you

　　in　this　correspondence　than　I　could　through　the　vulgar　experience

　　of　〃receiving　your　addresses〃？　This　is　the　question；　as　Hamlet

　　says。



　　But　my　proceedings；　dear　Chrysale；　have　at　least　the　merit　of　not

　　binding　us　personally。　I　know　that　love　has　its　illusions；　and

　　every　illusion　its　to…morrow。　That　is　why　there　are　so　many

　　partings　among　lovers　vowed　to　each　other　for　life。　The　proof　of

　　love　lies　in　two　things；suffering　and　happiness。　When；　after

　　passing　through　these　double　trials　of　life　two　beings　have　shown

　　each　other　their　defects　as　well　as　their　good　qualities；　when

　　they　have　really　observed　each　other's　character；　then　they　may　go

　　to　their　grave　hand　in　hand。　My　dear　Argante；　who　told　you　that

　　our　little　drama　thus　begun　was　to　have　no　future？　In　any　case

　　shall　we　not　have　enjoyed　the　pleasures　of　our　correspondence？



　　I　await　your　orders；　monseigneur；　and　I　am　with　all　my　heart；



Your　handmaiden；



O。　d'Este　M。





　　To　Mademoiselle　O。　d'Este　M。；You　are　a　witch；　a　spirit；　and　I

　　love　you！　Is　that　what　you　desire　of　me；　most　original　of　girls？

　　Perhaps　you　are　only　seeking　to　amuse　your　provincial　leisure　with

　　the　follies　which　are　you　able　to　make　a　poet　commit。　If　so；　you

　　have　done　a　bad　deed。　Your　two　letters　have　enough　of　the　spirit

　　of　mischief　in　them　to　force　this　doubt　into　the　mind　of　a

　　Parisian。　But　I　am　no　longer　master　of　myself；　my　life；　my　future

　　depend　on　the　answer　you　will　make　me。　Tell