modeste mignon-第21章

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　　I　will　now　reply　to　the　second　edition；　considerably　enlarged；　of

　　your　first　sermon。



　　Will　you　have　a　confession？　I　said　to　myself　when　I　saw　you　so

　　distrustful；　and　mistaking　me　for　Corinne　（whose　improvisations

　　bore　me　dreadfully）；　that　in　all　probability　dozes　of　Muses　had

　　already　led　you；　rashly　curious；　into　their　valleys；　and　begged

　　you　to　taste　the　fruits　of　their　boarding…school　Parnassus。　Oh！

　　you　are　perfectly　safe　with　me；　my　friend；　I　may　love　poetry；　but

　　I　have　no　little　verses　in　my　pocket…book；　and　my　stockings　are；

　　and　will　remain；　immaculately　white。　You　shall　not　be　pestered

　　with　the　〃Flowers　of　my　Heart〃　in　one　or　more　volumes。　And；

　　finally；　should　it　ever　happen　that　I　say　to　you　the　word　〃Come！〃

　　you　will　not　findyou　know　it　nowan　old　maid；　no；　nor　a　poor

　　and　ugly　one。



　　Ah！　my　friend；　if　you　only　knew　how　I　regret　that　you　came　to

　　Havre！　You　have　lowered　the　charm　of　what　you　call　my　romance。　God

　　alone　knew　the　treasure　I　was　reserving　for　the　man　noble　enough；

　　and　trusting　enough；　and　perspicacious　enough　to　comehaving

　　faith　in　my　letters；　having　penetrated　step　by　step　into　the

　　depths　of　my　heartto　come　to　our　first　meeting　with　the

　　simplicity　of　a　child：　for　that　was　what　I　dreamed　to　be　the

　　innocence　of　a　man　of　genius。　And　now　you　have　spoiled　my

　　treasure！　But　I　forgive　you；　you　live　in　Paris　and；　as　you　say；

　　there　is　always　a　man　within　a　poet。



　　Because　I　tell　you　this　will　you　think　me　some　little　girl　who

　　cultivates　a　garden…full　of　illusions？　You；　who　are　witty　and

　　wise；　have　you　not　guessed　that　when　Mademoiselle　d'Este　received

　　your　pedantic　lesson　she　said　to　herself：　〃No；　dear　poet；　my　first

　　letter　was　not　the　pebble　which　a　vagabond　child　flings　about　the

　　highway　to　frighten　the　owner　of　the　adjacent　fruit…trees；　but　a

　　net　carefully　and　prudently　thrown　by　a　fisherman　seated　on　a　rock

　　above　the　sea；　hoping　and　expecting　a　miraculous　draught。〃



　　All　that　you　say　so　beautifully　about　the　family　has　my　approval。

　　The　man　who　is　able　to　please　me；　and　of　whom　I　believe　myself

　　worthy；　will　have　my　heart　and　my　life；with　the　consent　of　my

　　parents；　for　I　will　neither　grieve　them；　nor　take　them　unawares：

　　happily；　I　am　certain　of　reigning　over　them；　and；　besides；　they

　　are　wholly　without　prejudice。　Indeed；　in　every　way；　I　feel　myself

　　protected　against　any　delusions　in　my　dream。　I　have　built　the

　　fortress　with　my　own　hands；　and　I　have　let　it　be　fortified　by　the

　　boundless　devotion　of　those　who　watch　over　me　as　if　I　were　a

　　treasure；not　that　I　am　unable　to　defend　myself　in　the　open；　if

　　need　be；　for；　let　me　say；　circumstances　have　furnished　me　with

　　armor　of　proof　on　which　is　engraved　the　word　〃Disdain。〃　I　have　the

　　deepest　horror　of　all　that　is　calculating；of　all　that　is　not

　　pure；　disinterested；　and　wholly　noble。　I　worship　the　beautiful；

　　the　ideal；　without　being　romantic；　though　I　HAVE　been；　in　my　heart

　　of　hearts；　in　my　dreams。　But　I　recognize　the　truth　of　the　various

　　things；　just　even　to　vulgarity；　which　you　have　written　me　about

　　Society　and　social　life。



　　For　the　time　being　we　are；　and　we　can　only　be；　two　friends。　Why

　　seek　an　unseen　friend？　you　ask。　Your　person　may　be　unknown　to　me；

　　but　your　mind；　your　heart　I　KNOW；　they　please　me；　and　I　feel　an

　　infinitude　of　thoughts　within　my　soul　which　need　a　man　of　genius

　　for　their　confidant。　I　do　not　wish　the　poem　of　my　heart　to　be

　　wasted；　I　would　have　it　known　to　you　as　it　is　to　God。　What　a

　　precious　thing　is　a　true　comrade；　one　to　whom　we　can　tell　all！　You

　　will　surely　not　reject　the　unpublished　leaflets　of　a　young　girl's

　　thoughts　when　they　fly　to　you　like　the　pretty　insects　fluttering

　　to　the　sun？　I　am　sure　you　have　never　before　met　with　this　good

　　fortune　of　the　soul；the　honest　confidences　of　an　honest　girl。

　　Listen　to　her　prattle；　accept　the　music　that　she　sings　to　you　in

　　her　own　heart。　Later；　if　our　souls　are　sisters；　if　our　characters

　　warrant　the　attempt；　a　white…haired　old　serving…man　shall　await

　　you　by　the　wayside　and　lead　you　to　the　cottage；　the　villa；　the

　　castle；　the　palaceI　don't　know　yet　what　sort　of　bower　it　will

　　be；　nor　what　its　color；　nor　whether　this　conclusion　will　ever　be

　　possible；　but　you　will　admit；　will　you　not？　that　it　is　poetic；　and

　　that　Mademoiselle　d'Este　has　a　complying　disposition。　Has　she　not

　　left　you　free？　Has　she　gone　with　jealous　feet　to　watch　you　in　the

　　salons　of　Paris？　Has　she　imposed　upon　you　the　labors　of　some　high

　　emprise；　such　as　paladins　sought　voluntarily　in　the　olden　time？

　　No；　she　asks　a　perfectly　spiritual　and　mystic　alliance。　Come　to　me

　　when　you　are　unhappy；　wounded；　weary。　Tell　me　all；　hide　nothing；　I

　　have　balms　for　all　your　ills。　I　am　twenty　years　of　age；　dear

　　friend；　but　I　have　the　sense　of　fifty；　and　unfortunately　I　have

　　known　through　the　experience　of　another　all　the　horrors　and　the

　　delights　of　love。　I　know　what　baseness　the　human　heart　can

　　contain；　what　infamy；　yet　I　myself　am　an　honest　girl。　No；　I　have

　　no　illusions；　but　I　have　something　better；　something　real；I　have

　　beliefs　and　a　religion。　See！　I　open　the　ball　of　our　confidences。



　　Whoever　I　marryprovided　I　choose　him　for　myselfmay　sleep　in

　　peace　or　go　to　the　East　Indies　sure　that　he　will　find　me　on　his

　　return　working　at　the　tapestry　which　I　began　before　he　left　me；

　　and　in　every　stitch　he　shall　read　a　verse　of　the　poem　of　which　he

　　has　been　the　hero。　Yes；　I　have　resolved　within　my　heart　never　to

　　follow　my　husband　where　he　does　not　wish　me　to　go。　I　will　be　the

　　divinity　of　his　hearth。　That　is　my　religion　of　humanity。　But　why

　　should　I　not　test　and　choose　the　man　to　whom　I　am　to　be　like　the

　　life　to　the　body？　Is　a　man　ever　impeded　by　life？　What　can　that

　　woman　be　who　thwarts　the　man　she　loves？an　illness；　a　disease；

　　not　life。　By　life；　I　mean　that　joyous　health　which　makes　each　hour

　　a　pleasure。



　　But　to　return　to　your　letter；　which　will　always　be　precious　to　me。

　　Yes；　jesting　apart；　it　contains　that　which　I　desired；　an

　　expression　of　prosaic　sentiments　which　are　as　necessary　to　family

　　life　as　air　to　the　lungs；　and　without　which　no　happiness　is

　　possible。　To　act　as　an　honest　man；　to　think　as　a　poet；　to　love　as

　　women　love；　that　is　what　I　longed　for　in　my　friend；　and　it　is　now

　　no　longer　a　chimera。



　　Adieu；　my　friend。　I　am　poor　at　this　moment。　That　is　one　of　the

　　reasons　why　I　cling　to　my　concealment；　my　mask；　my　impregnable

　　fortress。　I　have　read　your　last　verses　in　the　〃Revue；〃ah！　with

　　what　delight；　now　that　I　am　initiated　in　the　austere　loftiness　of

　　your　secret　soul。



　　Will　it　make　you　unhappy　to　know　that　a　young　girl　prays　for　you；

　　that　you　are　her　solitary　thought；without　a　rival　except　in　her

　　father　and　mother？　Can　there　be　any　reason　why　you　should　reject

　　these　pages　full　of　you；　written　for　you；　seen　by　no　eye　but

　　yours？　Send　me　their　counterpart。　I　am　so　little　of　a　woman　yet

　　that　your　confidencesprovided　they　are　full　and　truewill

　　suffice　for　the　happiness　of　your



O。　d'Este　M。





〃Good　heavens！　can　I　be　in　love　already？〃　cried　the　young　secretary；

when　he　perceived　that　he　had　held　the　above　letter　in　his　hands　more

than　an　hour　after　reading　it。　〃What　shall　I　do？　She　thinks　she　is

writing　to　the　great　poet！　Can　I　continue　the　deception？　Is　she　a

woman　of　forty；　or　a　girl　of　twenty？〃



Ernest　was　now　fascinated　by　the　great　gulf　of　the　unseen。　The　unseen

is　the　obscurity　of　infinitude；　and　nothing　is　more　alluring。　In　that

sombre　vastness　fires　flash；　and　furrow　and　color　the　abyss　with

fancies　like　those　of　Martin。　For　a　busy　man　like　Canalis；　an

adventure　of　this　kind　is　swept　away　like　a　harebell　by　a　mountain

torrent；　but　in　the　more　unoccupied　life　of　the　young　secretary；　this

charming　girl；　whom　his　imagination　persistently　connected　with　the

blonde　beauty　at　th