modeste mignon-第17章

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　　sternest　judge　the　step　you　have　taken　in　writing　to　me。



　　But　first　I　must　thank　you　for　the　pleasure　which　such　proofs　of

　　sympathy　afford；　even　though　we　may　not　merit　them；for　the　maker

　　of　verses　and　the　true　poet　are　equally　certain　of　the　intrinsic

　　worth　of　their　writings；so　readily　does　self…esteem　lend　itself

　　to　praise。　The　best　proof　of　friendship　that　I　can　give　to　an

　　unknown　lady　in　exchange　for　a　faith　which　allays　the　sting　of

　　criticism；　is　to　share　with　her　the　harvest　of　my　own　experience；

　　even　at　the　risk　of　dispelling　her　most　vivid　illusions。



　　Mademoiselle；　the　noblest　adornment　of　a　young　girl　is　the　flower

　　of　a　pure　and　saintly　and　irreproachable　life。　Are　you　alone　in

　　the　world？　If　you　are；　there　is　no　need　to　say　more。　But　if　you

　　have　a　family；　a　father　or　a　mother；　think　of　all　the　sorrow　that

　　might　come　to　them　from　such　a　letter　as　yours　addressed　to　a　poet

　　of　whom　you　know　nothing　personally。　All　writers　are　not　angels；

　　they　have　many　defects。　Some　are　frivolous；　heedless；　foppish；

　　ambitious；　dissipated；　and；　believe　me；　no　matter　how　imposing

　　innocence　may　be；　how　chivalrous　a　poet　is；　you　will　meet　with

　　many　a　degenerate　troubadour　in　Paris　ready　to　cultivate　your

　　affection　only　to　betray　it。　By　such　a　man　your　letter　would　be

　　interpreted　otherwise　than　it　is　by　me。　He　would　see　a　thought

　　that　is　not　in　it；　which　you；　in　your　innocence；　have　not

　　suspected。　There　are　as　many　natures　as　there　are　writers。　I　am

　　deeply　flattered　that　you　have　judged　me　capable　of　understanding

　　you；　but　had　you；　perchance；　fallen　upon　a　hypocrite；　a　scoffer；

　　one　whose　books　may　be　melancholy　but　whose　life　is　a　perpetual

　　carnival；　you　would　have　found　as　the　result　of　your　generous

　　imprudence　an　evil…minded　man；　the　frequenter　of　green…rooms；

　　perhaps　a　hero　of　some　gay　resort。　In　the　bower　of　clematis　where

　　you　dream　of　poets；　can　you　smell　the　odor　of　the　cigar　which

　　drives　all　poetry　from　the　manuscript？



　　But　let　us　look　still　further。　How　could　the　dreamy；　solitary　life

　　you　lead；　doubtless　by　the　sea…shore；　interest　a　poet；　whose

　　mission　it　is　to　imagine　all；　and　to　paint　all？　What　reality　can

　　equal　imagination？　The　young　girls　of　the　poets　are　so　ideal　that

　　no　living　daughter　of　Eve　can　compete　with　them。　And　now　tell　me；

　　what　will　you　gain；you；　a　young　girl；　brought　up　to　be　the

　　virtuous　mother　of　a　family；if　you　learn　to　comprehend　the

　　terrible　agitations　of　a　poet's　life　in　this　dreadful　capital；

　　which　may　be　defined　by　one　sentence；the　hell　in　which　men　love。



　　If　the　desire　to　brighten　the　monotonous　existence　of　a　young　girl

　　thirsting　for　knowledge　has　led　you　to　take　your　pen　in　hand　and

　　write　to　me；　has　not　the　step　itself　the　appearance　of

　　degradation？　What　meaning　am　I　to　give　to　your　letter？　Are　you　one

　　of　a　rejected　caste；　and　do　you　seek　a　friend　far　away　from　you？

　　Or；　are　you　afflicted　with　personal　ugliness；　yet　feeling　within

　　you　a　noble　soul　which　can　give　and　receive　a　confidence？　Alas；

　　alas；　the　conclusion　to　be　drawn　is　grievous。　You　have　said　too

　　much；　or　too　little；　you　have　gone　too　far；　or　not　far　enough。

　　Either　let　us　drop　this　correspondence；　or；　if　you　continue　it；

　　tell　me　more　than　in　the　letter　you　have　now　written　me。



　　But；　mademoiselle；　if　you　are　young；　if　you　are　beautiful；　if　you

　　have　a　home；　a　family；　if　in　your　heart　you　have　the　precious

　　ointment；　the　spikenard；　to　pour　out；　as　did　Magdalene　on　the　feet

　　of　Jesus；　let　yourself　be　won　by　a　man　worthy　of　you；　become　what

　　every　pure　young　girl　should　be；a　good　woman；　the　virtuous

　　mother　of　a　family。　A　poet　is　the　saddest　conquest　that　a　girl　can

　　make；　he　is　full　of　vanity；　full　of　angles　that　will　sharply　wound

　　a　woman's　proper　pride；　and　kill　a　tenderness　which　has　no

　　experience　of　life。　The　wife　of　a　poet　should　love　him　long　before

　　she　marries　him；　she　must　train　herself　to　the　charity　of　angels；

　　to　their　forbearance；　to　all　the　virtues　of　motherhood。　Such

　　qualities；　mademoiselle；　are　but　germs　in　a　young　girl。



　　Hear　the　whole　truth；do　I　not　owe　it　to　you　in　return　for　your

　　intoxicating　flattery？　If　it　is　a　glorious　thing　to　marry　a　great

　　renown；　remember　also　that　you　must　soon　discover　a　superior　man

　　to　be；　in　all　that　makes　a　man；　like　other　men。　He　therefore

　　poorly　realizes　the　hopes　that　attach　to　him　as　a　phoenix。　He

　　becomes　like　a　woman　whose　beauty　is　over…praised；　and　of　whom　we

　　say：　〃I　thought　her　far　more　lovely。〃　She　has　not　warranted　the

　　portrait　painted　by　the　fairy　to　whom　I　owe　your　letter；the

　　fairy　whose　name　is　Imagination。



　　Believe　me；　the　qualities　of　the　mind　live　and　thrive　only　in　a

　　sphere　invisible；　not　in　daily　life；　the　wife　of　a　poet　bears　the

　　burden；　she　sees　the　jewels　manufactured；　but　she　never　wears

　　them。　If　the　glory　of　the　position　fascinates　you；　hear　me　now

　　when　I　tell　you　that　its　pleasures　are　soon　at　an　end。　You　will

　　suffer　when　you　find　so　many　asperities　in　a　nature　which；　from　a

　　distance；　you　thought　equable；　and　such　coldness　at　the　shining

　　summit。　Moreover；　as　women　never　set　their　feet　within　the　world

　　of　real　difficulties；　they　cease　to　appreciate　what　they　once

　　admired　as　soon　as　they　think　they　see　the　inner　mechanism　of　it。



　　I　close　with　a　last　thought；　in　which　there　is　no　disguised

　　entreaty；　it　is　the　counsel　of　a　friend。　The　exchange　of　souls　can

　　take　place　only　between　persons　who　are　resolved　to　hide　nothing

　　from　each　other。　Would　you　show　yourself　for　such　as　you　are　to　an

　　unknown　man？　I　dare　not　follow　out　the　consequences　of　that　idea。



　　Deign　to　accept；　mademoiselle；　the　homage　which　we　owe　to　all

　　women；　even　those　who　are　disguised　and　masked。



So　this　was　the　letter　she　had　worn　between　her　flesh　and　her　corset

above　her　palpitating　heart　throughout　one　whole　day！　For　this　she　had

postponed　the　reading　until　the　midnight　hour　when　the　household

slept；　waiting　for　the　solemn　silence　with　the　eager　anxiety　of　an

imagination　on　fire！　For　this　she　had　blessed　the　poet　by

anticipation；　reading　a　thousand　letters　ere　she　opened　one；fancying

all　things；　except　this　drop　of　cold　water　falling　upon　the　vaporous

forms　of　her　illusion；　and　dissolving　them　as　prussic　acid　dissolves

life。　What　could　she　do　but　hide　herself　in　her　bed；　blow　out　her

candle；　bury　her　face　in　the　sheets　and　weep？



All　this　happened　during　the　first　days　of　July。　But　Modeste　presently

got　up；　walked　across　the　room　and　opened　the　window。　She　wanted　air。

The　fragrance　of　the　flowers　came　to　her　with　the　peculiar　freshness

of　the　odors　of　the　night。　The　sea；　lighted　by　the　moon；　sparkled　like

a　mirror。　A　nightingale　was　singing　in　a　tree。　〃Ah；　there　is　the

poet！〃　thought　Modeste；　whose　anger　subsided　at　once。　Bitter

reflections　chased　each　other　through　her　mind。　She　was　cut　to　the

quick；　she　wished　to　re…read　the　letter；　and　lit　a　candle；　she　studied

the　sentences　so　carefully　studied　when　written；　and　ended　by　hearing

the　wheezing　voice　of　the　outer　world。



〃He　is　right；　and　I　am　wrong；〃　she　said　to　herself。　〃But　who　could

ever　believe　that　under　the　starry　mantle　of　a　poet　I　should　find

nothing　but　one　of　Moliere's　old　men？〃



When　a　woman　or　young　girl　is　taken　in　the　act；　〃flagrante　delicto；〃

she　conceives　a　deadly　hatred　to　the　witness；　the　author；　or　the

object　of　her　fault。　And　so　the　true；　the　single…minded；　the　untamed

and　untamable　Modeste　conceived　within　her　soul　an　unquenchable　desire

to　get　the　better　of　that　righteous　spirit；　to　drive　him　into　some

fatal　inconsistency；　and　so　return　him　blow　for　blow。　This　girl；　this

child；　as　we　may　call　her；　so　pure；　whose　head　alone　had　been

misguided；partly　by　her　reading；　partly　by　her　sister's　sorrows；　and

more　perhaps　by　the　dangerous　meditations　of　her　solitary　life；was

suddenly　caught　by　a　ray