the heir of redclyffe-第142章
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and there scattered with passages of exquisite beauty and harmony; and
full of power and grace。 No one could have looked at them without
owning in them the marks of a thorough poet; but this was not what the
wife was seeking; and when she perceived it; though it made her face
beam with a sort of satisfied pride; it was a secondary thing。 She was
studying not his intellect; but his soul; she did not care whether he
would have been a poet; what she looked for was the record of the
sufferings and struggles of the sad six months when his character was
established; strengthened; and settled。
She found it。 There was much to which she alone had the clue; too
deep; and too obscurely hinted; to be understood at a glance。 She met
with such evidence of suffering as made her shudder and weep; tokens of
the dark thoughts that had gathered round him; of the manful spirit of
penitence and patience that had been his stay; and of the gleams that
lighted his darkest hours; and showed he had never been quite forsaken。
Now and then came a reference which brought home what he had told her;
how the thought of his Verena had cheered him when he dared not hope
she would be restored。 Best of all were the lines written when the
radiance of Christmas was; once for all; dispersing the gloom; and the
vision opening on him; which he was now realizing。 In reading them;
she felt the same marvellous sympathy of subdued wondering joy in the
victory of which she had partaken as she knelt beside his death…bed。
These were the last。 He had been too happy for poetry; except one or
two scraps in Switzerland; and these had been hers from the time she
had detected them。
No wonder Amabel almost lived on those papers! It would not be too
much to say she was very happy in her own way when alone with them; the
desk on a chair by her sofa。 They were too sacred for any one else;
she did not for many weeks show one even to her mother; but to her they
were like a renewal of his presence; soothing the craving after him
that had been growing on her ever since the first few days when his
sustaining power had not passed away。 As she sorted them; and made out
their dates; finding fresh stores of meaning at each fresh perusal she
learnt through them; as well as through her own trial; so patiently
borne; to enter into his character even more fully than when he was in
her sight。 Mrs。 Edmonstone; who had at first been inclined to dread
her constant dwelling on them; soon perceived that they were her great
aids through this sad winter。
She had much pleasure in receiving the portrait; which was sent her by
Mr。 Shene。 It was a day or two before she could resolve to look at it;
or feel that she could do so calmly。 It was an unfinished sketch;
taken more with a view to the future picture than to the likeness; but
Guy's was a face to be better represented by being somewhat idealized;
than by copying merely the material form of the features。 An ordinary
artist might have made him like a Morville; but Mr。 Shene had shown all
that art could convey of his individual self; with almost one of his
unearthly looks。 The beautiful eyes; with somewhat of their peculiar
lightsomeness; the flexible look of the lip; the upward pose of the
head; the set of that lock of hair that used to wave in the wind; the
animated position; 'just ready for a start;' as Charles used to call
it; were recalled as far as was in the power of chalk and crayon; but
so as to remind Amabel of him more as one belonging to heaven than to
earth。 The picture used to be on her mantel…shelf all night; the
shipwreck cross before it; and Sintram and Redclyffe on each side; and
she brought it into the dressing…room with her in the morning; setting
it up opposite to the sofa; before settling herself。
Her days were much alike。 She felt far from well; or capable of
exertion; and was glad it was thought right to keep her entirely
upstairs; she only wished to spare her mother anxiety; by being
submissive to her care; in case these cares should be the last for her。
She did not dwell on the future; nor ask herself whether she looked for
life or death。 Guy had bidden her not desire the last; and she
believed she did not form a wish; but there was repose to her in the
belief that she ought not to conceal from herself that there was more
than ordinary risk; and that it was right to complete all her affairs
in this world; and she was silent when her mother tried to interest her
in prospects that might cheer her; as if afraid to fasten on them; and
finding more peace in entire submission; than in feeding herself on
hope that must be coupled with fear。
Christmas…day was not allowed to pass without being a festival for her;
in her quiet room; where she lay; full of musings on his lonely
Christmas night last year; his verses folded among her precious books;
and the real joy of the season more within her grasp than in the
turmoil of last year。 She was not afraid now to let herself fancy his
voice in the Angel's Song; and the rainbow was shining on her cloud。
CHAPTER 38
The coldness from my heart is gone;
But still the weight is there;
And thoughts which I abhor will come
To tempt me to despair。SOUTHEY
Amabel's one anxiety was for Philip。 For a long time nothing was heard
of him at Hollywell; and she began to fear that he might have been less
fit to take care of himself than he had persuaded her to believe。 When
at length tidings reached them; it was through the De Courcys。 'Poor
Morville;' wrote Maurice; 'had been carried ashore at Corfu; in the
stupor of a second attack of fever。 He had been in extreme danger for
some time; and though now on the mend; was still unable to give any
account of himself。'
In effect; it was a relapse of the former disease; chiefly affecting
the brain; and his impatience to leave Recoara; and free himself from
Arnaud; had been a symptom of its approach; though it fortunately did
not absolutely overpower him till after he had embarked for Corfu; and
was in the way to be tended with the greatest solicitude。 Long after
the fever was subdued; and his strength returning; his mind was astray;
and even when torturing delusions ceased; and he resumed the perception
of surrounding objects; memory and reflection wavered in dizzy
confusion; more distressing than either his bodily weakness; or the
perpetual pain in his head; which no remedy could relieve。
The first date to which he could afterwards recur; though for more than
a week he had apparently been fully himself; was a time when he was
sitting in an easy…chair by the window; obliged to avert his heavy eyes
from the dazzling waters of the Corcyran bay; where Ulysses'
transformed ship gleamed in the sunshine; and the rich purple hills of
Albania sloped upwards in the distance。 James Thorndale was; as usual;
with him; and was explaining that there had been a consultation between
the doctor and the colonel; and they had decided that as there was not
much chance of restoring his health in that climate in the spring。
'Spring!' he interrupted; with surprise and eagerness; 'Is it spring?'
'Hardlyexcept that there is no winter here。 This is the 8th of
January。'
He let his head fall on his hand again; and listened with indifference
when told he was to be sent to England at once; under the care of his
servant; Bolton; and Mr。 Thorndale himself; who was resolved to see him
safe in his sister's hands。 He made no objection; he had become used
to be passive; and one place was much the same to him as another; so he
merely assented; without a question about the arrangements。 Presently;
however; he looked up; and inquired for his letters。 Though he had
done so before; the request had always been evaded; until now he spoke
in a manner which decided hi