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第138章

the heir of redclyffe-第138章

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anxiety。  He had not heard a word of Laura; how she had borne his 

illness; nor how much displeasure his confession had brought upon her; 

nor could he learn what hope there was that his repentance was 

accepted。  He did not venture to ask; for after engaging to leave all 

to them; could he intrude his own concerns on them at such a time?  It 

was but a twelvemonth since he had saddened and shadowed Guy's short 

life and love with the very suffering from uncertainty that he found so 

hard to bear。  As he remembered this; he had a sort of fierce 

satisfaction in enduring this retributive justice; though there were 

moods when he felt the torture so acutely; that it seemed to him as if 

his brain would turn if he saw them depart; and was left behind to this 

distracting doubt。



The day had come; on which they were to take their first stage; as far 

as Vicenza; and his last hopes were fading。  He tried to lose the sense 

of misery by bestirring himself in the preparations; but he was too 

weak; and Mrs。 Edmonstone; insisting on his attempting no more; sent 

him back: to his own sitting…room。



Presently there was a knock; and in came Amabel; dressed; for the first 

time; in her weeds; the blackness and width of her sweeping crape 

making her young face look smaller and paler; while she held in her 

hand some leaves of chestnut; that showed where she had been。  She 

smiled a little as she came in; saying; 'I am come to you for a little 

quiet; out of the bustle of packing up。  I want you to do something for 

me。'



'Anything for you。'



'It is what you will like to do;' said she; with _that_ smile; 'for it 

is more for _him_ than for me。  Could you; without teasing yourself; 

put that into Latin for me; by and by?  I think it should be in Latin; 

as it is in a foreign country。'



She gave him a paper in her own writing。





GUY MORVILLE;

OF REDCLYFFE; ENGLAND。

DIED THE EVE OF ST。 MICHAEL AND ALL ANGELS; 18

AGED 21 1/2。

I BELIEVE IN THE COMMUNION OF SAINTS。



'Will you be so kind as to give it to Arnaud when it is done?' she 

continued; 'he will send it to the man who is making the cross。  I 

think the kind people here will respect it。'



'Yes;' said Philip;' it is soon done; and thank you for letting me do 

it。  But; Amy; I would not alter your choice; yet there is one that 

seems to me more applicable 〃Greater love hath no man〃'



'I know what you mean;' said Amy; 'but that has so high a meaning that 

he could not bear it to be applied to him。'



'Or rather; what right have I to quote it?' said Philip; bitterly。  

'His friend!  No; Amy; you should rather choose; 〃If thine enemy 

thirst; give him drink; for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire 

on his head。〃  I am sure they are burning on mine;' and he pressed his 

hand on his forehead。



'Don't say such things。  We both know that; at the worst of times; he 

looked on you as a sincere friend。'



Philip groaned; and she thought it best to go on to something else。  'I 

like this best;' she said。 'It will be nice to think of far away。  I 

should like; too; for these Italians to see the stranger has the same 

creed as themselves。'



After a moment's pause; during which he looked at the paper; he said; 

'Amy; I have one thing to ask of you。  Will you write my name in the 

Prayer…book?'



'That I will;' said she; and Philip drew it from under the sofa 

cushion; and began putting together his pocket gold pen。  While he was 

doing this; she said; 'Will you write to me sometimes?  I shall be so 

anxious to know how you get on。'



'Yes; thank you;' said he; with a sigh; as if he would fain have said 

more。



She paused; then said; abruptly; 'Do you know they never had your 

letter?'



'Ha!  Good heavens!' cried he; starting up in consternation; 'then they 

don't know it!'



'They do。  Sit down; Philip; and hear。  I wanted to tell you about it。  

They know it。  Poor Laura was so unhappy when you were ill; that mamma 

made it out from her。'



He obeyed the hand that invited him back to his seat; and turned his 

face earnestly towards her。  He must let her be his comforter; though a 

moment before his mind would have revolted at troubling the newly…made 

widow with his love affairs。  Amabel told him; as fully and clearly as 

she could; how the truth had come out; how gently Laura had been dealt 

with; how Charles had been trying to soften his father; and papa had 

not said one angry word to her。



'They forgive her。  Oh; Amy; thanks indeed!  You have taken away one of 

the heaviest burdens。  I am glad; indeed; that she spoke first。  For my 

own part; I see through all their kindness and consideration how they 

regard me。'



'They know how sorry you are; and that you wrote to tell all;' said 

Amabel。  'They forgive; indeed they do; but they cannot bear to speak 

about it just yet。'



'If you forgive; Amy;' said he; in a husky voice; 'I may hope for 

pardon from any。'



'Hush! don't say that。  You have been so kind; all this time; and we 

have felt together so much; that no one could help forgetting anything 

that went before。  Then you will write to me; and will you tell me how 

to direct to you?'



'You will write to me?' cried Philip; brightening for a moment with 

glad surprise。  'Oh; Amy; you will quite overpower me with your 

goodness! The coals of fire;' he finished; sinking his voice; and 

again pressing his hand to his brow。



'You must not speak so; Philip;' then looking at him; 'Is your head 

aching?'



'Not so much aching as' he paused; and exclaimed; as if carried away 

in spite of himself; 'almost bursting with the thoughts ofof you; 

Amy;of him whom I knew too late;wilfully misunderstood; envied; 

persecuted; who;oh! Amy; Amy; if you could guess at the anguish of 

but one of my thoughts; you would know what the first murderer meant 

when he said; 〃My punishment is greater than I can bear。〃'



'I can't say don't think;' said Amy; in her sweet; calm tone; 'for I 

have seen how happy repentance made him; but I know it must be 

dreadful。  I suppose the worse it is at the time; the better it must be 

afterwards。  And I am sure this Prayer…book'she had her hand on it 

all the time; as if it was a pleasure to her to touch it again'must 

be a comfort to you。  Did you not see that he made me give it to you to 

use that day; when; if ever; there was pardon and peace'



'I remember;' said Philip; in a low; grave; heartfelt tone; and as she 

took the pen; and was writing his name below the old inscription; he 

added; 'And the date; Amy; andyes;' as he saw her write 'From G。 M。'…

…'but put from A。 F。 M。 too。  Thank you!  One thing more;' he 

hesitated; and spoke very low; 'You _must_ write in it what you said 

when you came to fetch me that day;〃A broken〃'



As she finished writing; Mrs。 Edmonstone came in。  ' My Amy; all is 

ready。  We must go。  Good…bye; Philip;' said she; in the tone of one so 

eager for departure as to fancy farewells would hasten it。  However; 

she was not more eager than Mr。 Edmonstone; who rushed in to hurry them 

on; shaking hands cordially with Philip; and telling him to make haste 

and recover his good looks。  Amabel held out her hand。  She would fain 

have said something cheering; but the power failed her。  A deep colour 

came into her cheeks; she drew her thick black veil over her face; and 

turned away。



Philip came down…stairs with them; saw her enter the carriage followed 

by her mother; Mr。 Edmonstone outside。  He remembered the gay smile 

with which he last saw her seated in that carriage; and the active 

figure that had sprung after her; he thought of the kind bright eyes 

that had pleaded with him for the last time; and recollected the 

suspicions and the pride with which he had plumed himself on his 

rejection; and thrown away the last chance。



Should he ever see Amabel again?  He groaned and went back to t

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