the heir of redclyffe-第130章

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'I　think　I　could　bear　acute　pain　better！'　he　said　one　day；　and　more　

than　once　the　sigh　broke　from　him　almost　unconsciously；'Oh　for　one　

breath　of　Redclyffe　sea…wind！'　　Indeed；　it　seemed　as　if　the　close　air　

of　the　shut…in…valley；　at　the　end　of　a　long　hot　day　was　almost　enough　

to　overwhelm　him；　weak　as　he　had　become。　　Every　morning；　when　Amabel　

let　in　the　fresh　breeze　at　the　window；　she　predicted　it　would　be　a　cool　

day；　and　do　him　good；　every　afternoon　the　wind　abated；　the　sun　shone　

full　in；　the　room　was　stifling；　the　faintness　came　on；　and　after　a　few　

vain　attempts　at　relieving　it；　Guy　sighed　that　there　was　nothing　for　it　

but　quiet；　and　Amy　was　obliged　to　acquiesce。　　As　the　sun　set；　the　

breeze　sprung　up；　it　became　cooler；　he　fell　asleep；　awoke　revived；　was　

comfortable　all　the　evening；　and　Amy　left　him　at　eleven　or　twelve；　with　

hopes　of　his　having　a　good　night。



It　seemed　to　her　as　if　ages　had　passed　in　this　way；　when　one　evening　

two　letters　were　brought　in。



'From　mamma！'　said　she；　'and　this　one；'　holding　it　up；　'is　for　you。　　It　

must　have　been　hunting　us　everywhere。　　How　many　different　directions！'



'From　Markham；'　said　Guy。　　'It　must　be　the　letter　we　were　waiting　for。'



The　letter　to　tell　them　Redclyffe　was　ready　to　receive　them！　　Amabel　

put　it　down　with　a　strange　sensation；　and　opened　her　mother's。　　With　a　

start　of　joy　she　exclaimed



'They　are　comingmamma　and　papa！'



'Then　all　is　right！'



'If　we　do　not　receive　a　much　better　account；'　read　Amy；　'we　shall　set　

off　early　on　Wednesday；　and　hope　to　be　with　you　not　long　after　you　

receive　this　letter。'



'Oh　I　am　so　glad！　　I　wonder　how　Charlie　gets　on　without　her。'



'It　is　a　great　comfort；'　said　Guy。



'Now　you　will　see　what　a　nurse　mamma　is！'



'Now　you　will　be　properly　cared　for。'



'How　nice　it　will　be！　　She　will　take　care　of　you　all　night；　and　never　

be　tired；　and　devise　everything　I　am　too　stupid　for；　and　make　you　so　

comfortable！'



'Nay；　no　one　could　do　that　better　than　you；　Amy。　　But　it　is　joy　indeed…

…to　see　mamma　againto　know　you　are　safe　with　her。　　Everything　comes　

to　make　it　easy！'　　The　last　words　were　spoken　very　low；　and　she　did　not　

disturb　him　by　saying　anything　till　he　asked　about　the　rest　of　the　

letter；　and　desired　her　to　read　Markham's　to　him。



This　cost　her　some　pain；　for　it　had　been　written　in　ignorance　of　even　

Philip's　illness；　and　detailed　triumphantly　the　preparations　at　

Redclyffe；　hinting　that　they　must　send　timely　notice　of　their　return；　

or　they　would　disappoint　the　tenantry；　who　intended　grand　doings；　and　

concluding　with　a　short　lecture　on　the　inexpediency　of　lingering　in　

foreign　parts。



'Poor　Markham；'　said　Guy。



She　understood；　but　these　things　did　not　come　on　her　like　a　shock　now；　

for　he　had　been　saying　them　more　or　less　ever　since　the　beginning　of　

his　illness；　and　fully　occupied　as　she　was；　she　never　opened　her　mind　

to　the　future。　　After　a　long　silence；　Guy　said



'I　am　very　sorry　for　him。　　I　have　been　making　Arnaud　write　to　him　for　

me。'



'Oh；　have　you？'



'It　was　better　for　you　not　to　do　it；　Arnaud　has　written　for　me　at　

night。　　You　will　send　it；　Amy；　and　another　to　my　poor　uncle。'



'Very　well；'　said　she；　as　he　looked　at　her。



'I　have　told　Markham；'　said　he　presently；　'to　send　you　my　desk。　　There　

are　all　sorts　of　things　in　it；　just　as　I　threw　them　in　when　I　cleared　

out　my　rooms　at　Oxford。　　I　had　rather　nobody　but　you　saw　some　of　them。　　

There　is　nothing　of　any　importance；　so　you　may　look　at　them　when　you　

please；　or　not　at　all。'



She　gazed　at　him　without　answering。　　If　there　had　been　any　struggle　to　

retain　him；　it　would　have　been　repressed　by　his　calmness；　but　the　

thought　had　not　come　on　her　suddenly；　it　was　more　like　an　inevitable　

fate　seen　at　first　at　a　distance；　and　gradually　advancing　upon　her。　　

She　had　never　fastened　on　the　hope　of　his　recovery；　and　it　had　dwindled　

in　an　almost　imperceptible　manner。　　She　kept　watch　over　him；　and　

followed　his　thoughts；　without　stretching　her　mind　to　suppose　herself　

living　without　him；　and　was　supported　by　the　forgetfulness　of　self；　

which　gave　her　no　time　to　realize　her　feelings。



'I　should　like　to　have　seen　Redclyffe　bay　again；'　said　Guy；　after　a　

space。　　'Now　that　mamma　is　coming；　that　is　the　one　thing。　　I　suppose　I　

had　set　my　heart　on　it；　for　it　comes　back　to　me　how　I　reckoned　on　

standing　on　that　rock　with　you；　feeling　the　wind；　hearing　the　surge；　

looking　at　the　meeting　of　earth　and　sky；　and　the　train　of　sunlight。'　　

He　spoke　slowly；　pausing　between　each　recollection；'You　will　see　it　

some　day；'　he　added。　　'But　I　must　give　it　up；　it　is　earth　after　all；　

and　looking　back。'



Through　the　evening；　he　seemed　to　be　dwelling　on　thoughts　of　his　own；　

and　only　spoke　to　tell　her　of　some　message　to　friends　at　Redclyffe；　or　

Hollywell；　to　mention　little　Marianne　Dixon；　or　some　other　charge　that　

he　wished　to　leave。　　She　thought　he　had　mentioned　almost　every　one　with　

whom　he　had　had　any　interchange　of　kindness　at　either　of　his　homes；　

even　to　old　nurse　at　Hollywell；　remembering　them　all　with　quiet　

pleasure。　　At　half…past　eleven；　he　sent　her　to　bed；　and　she　went　

submissively；　cheered　by　thinking　him　likely　to　sleep。



As　soon　as　she　could　conscientiously　call　the　night　over；　she　returned　

to　him；　and　was　received　with　one　of　the　sweet；　sunny；　happy　looks　that　

had　always　been　his　peculiar　charm；　and；　of　late；　had　acquired　an　

expression　almost　startling　from　their　very　beauty　and　radiance。　　It　

was　hardly　to　be　termed　a　smile；　for　there　was　very　little；　if　any；　

movement　of　the　lips；　it　was　more　like　the　reflection　of　some　glory　

upon　the　whole　countenance。



'You　have　had　a　good　night？'　she　said。



'I　have　had　my　wish；　I　have　seen　Redclyffe；'　then；　seeing　her　look　

startled；　'Of　course；　it　was　a　sort　of　wandering；　but　I　never　quite　

lost　the　consciousness　of　being　here；　and　it　was　very　delightful。　　I　

saw　the　waves；　each　touched　with　light；the　foamthe　sea…birds；　

floating　in　shade　and　light；the　treesthe　Shagthe　skyoh！　such　a　

glory　as　I　never　knewthemselvesbut　so　intensely　glorious！'



'I　am　glad'　said　Amabel；　with　a　strange　participation　of　the　delight　it　

had　given　him。



'I　don't　understand　such　goodness！'　he　continued。　　'As　if　it　were　not　

enough　to　look　to　heaven　beyond；　to　have　this　longing　gratified；　which　

I　thought　I　ought　to　conquer。　　Oh；　Amy！　is　not　that　being　Fatherly！'



'Yes；　indeed。'



'Now　after　that；　and　with　mamma's　coming　（for　you　will　have　her　if　I　

don't　see　her）；　I　have　but　one　wish　unfulfilled。'



'Ah！　a　clergyman。'



'Yes；　but　if　that　is　withheld；　I　must　believe　it　is　rightly　ordered。　　

We　must　think　of　that　Sunday　at　Stylehurst　and　Christmas…day；　and　that　

last　time　at　Munich。'



'Oh；　I　am　so　glad　we　stayed　at　Munich　for　that！'



'Those　were　times；　indeed！　and　many　more。　　Yes；　I　have　been　a　great　

deal　too　much　favoured　already；　and　now　to　be　allowed　to　die　just　as　I　

should　have　chosen'



He　broke　off　to　take　what　Amabel　was　preparing　for　him；　and　she　felt　

his　pulse。　　There　was　fever　still；　which　probably　supplied　the　place　of　

strength；　for　he　said　he　was　very　comfortable；　and　his　eyes　were　as　

bright　as　ever；　but　the　beats　were　weak　and　fluttering；　and　a　thrill　

crossed　her　that　it　might　be　near；　but　she　must　attend　to　him；　and　

could　not　think。



When　it　was　time　for　her　to　go　down　to　breakfast　with　Philip；　Guy　said；　

'Do　you　think　Philip　could　come　to　me　to…day？　　I　want　much　to　speak　to　

him。'



'I　am　sure　he　could。'



'Then　pray　ask　him　to　come；　if　it　will　not　tire　him　very　much。'



Philip　had；　the　last　two　mornings；　risen　in　time　to　breakfast　with　

Amabel；　in　the　room　adjoining　his　own；　he　was　still　very　weak；　and　

attempted　no　more　than　crossing　the　room；　and　sitting　in　the　balcony　to　

enjoy　the　evening　air。　　He　had　felt　the　heat　of　the　weather　severely；　

and　had　been　a　goo