the heir of redclyffe-第130章
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'I think I could bear acute pain better!' he said one day; and more
than once the sigh broke from him almost unconsciously;'Oh for one
breath of Redclyffe sea…wind!' Indeed; it seemed as if the close air
of the shut…in…valley; at the end of a long hot day was almost enough
to overwhelm him; weak as he had become。 Every morning; when Amabel
let in the fresh breeze at the window; she predicted it would be a cool
day; and do him good; every afternoon the wind abated; the sun shone
full in; the room was stifling; the faintness came on; and after a few
vain attempts at relieving it; Guy sighed that there was nothing for it
but quiet; and Amy was obliged to acquiesce。 As the sun set; the
breeze sprung up; it became cooler; he fell asleep; awoke revived; was
comfortable all the evening; and Amy left him at eleven or twelve; with
hopes of his having a good night。
It seemed to her as if ages had passed in this way; when one evening
two letters were brought in。
'From mamma!' said she; 'and this one;' holding it up; 'is for you。 It
must have been hunting us everywhere。 How many different directions!'
'From Markham;' said Guy。 'It must be the letter we were waiting for。'
The letter to tell them Redclyffe was ready to receive them! Amabel
put it down with a strange sensation; and opened her mother's。 With a
start of joy she exclaimed
'They are comingmamma and papa!'
'Then all is right!'
'If we do not receive a much better account;' read Amy; 'we shall set
off early on Wednesday; and hope to be with you not long after you
receive this letter。'
'Oh I am so glad! I wonder how Charlie gets on without her。'
'It is a great comfort;' said Guy。
'Now you will see what a nurse mamma is!'
'Now you will be properly cared for。'
'How nice it will be! She will take care of you all night; and never
be tired; and devise everything I am too stupid for; and make you so
comfortable!'
'Nay; no one could do that better than you; Amy。 But it is joy indeed…
…to see mamma againto know you are safe with her。 Everything comes
to make it easy!' The last words were spoken very low; and she did not
disturb him by saying anything till he asked about the rest of the
letter; and desired her to read Markham's to him。
This cost her some pain; for it had been written in ignorance of even
Philip's illness; and detailed triumphantly the preparations at
Redclyffe; hinting that they must send timely notice of their return;
or they would disappoint the tenantry; who intended grand doings; and
concluding with a short lecture on the inexpediency of lingering in
foreign parts。
'Poor Markham;' said Guy。
She understood; but these things did not come on her like a shock now;
for he had been saying them more or less ever since the beginning of
his illness; and fully occupied as she was; she never opened her mind
to the future。 After a long silence; Guy said
'I am very sorry for him。 I have been making Arnaud write to him for
me。'
'Oh; have you?'
'It was better for you not to do it; Arnaud has written for me at
night。 You will send it; Amy; and another to my poor uncle。'
'Very well;' said she; as he looked at her。
'I have told Markham;' said he presently; 'to send you my desk。 There
are all sorts of things in it; just as I threw them in when I cleared
out my rooms at Oxford。 I had rather nobody but you saw some of them。
There is nothing of any importance; so you may look at them when you
please; or not at all。'
She gazed at him without answering。 If there had been any struggle to
retain him; it would have been repressed by his calmness; but the
thought had not come on her suddenly; it was more like an inevitable
fate seen at first at a distance; and gradually advancing upon her。
She had never fastened on the hope of his recovery; and it had dwindled
in an almost imperceptible manner。 She kept watch over him; and
followed his thoughts; without stretching her mind to suppose herself
living without him; and was supported by the forgetfulness of self;
which gave her no time to realize her feelings。
'I should like to have seen Redclyffe bay again;' said Guy; after a
space。 'Now that mamma is coming; that is the one thing。 I suppose I
had set my heart on it; for it comes back to me how I reckoned on
standing on that rock with you; feeling the wind; hearing the surge;
looking at the meeting of earth and sky; and the train of sunlight。'
He spoke slowly; pausing between each recollection;'You will see it
some day;' he added。 'But I must give it up; it is earth after all;
and looking back。'
Through the evening; he seemed to be dwelling on thoughts of his own;
and only spoke to tell her of some message to friends at Redclyffe; or
Hollywell; to mention little Marianne Dixon; or some other charge that
he wished to leave。 She thought he had mentioned almost every one with
whom he had had any interchange of kindness at either of his homes;
even to old nurse at Hollywell; remembering them all with quiet
pleasure。 At half…past eleven; he sent her to bed; and she went
submissively; cheered by thinking him likely to sleep。
As soon as she could conscientiously call the night over; she returned
to him; and was received with one of the sweet; sunny; happy looks that
had always been his peculiar charm; and; of late; had acquired an
expression almost startling from their very beauty and radiance。 It
was hardly to be termed a smile; for there was very little; if any;
movement of the lips; it was more like the reflection of some glory
upon the whole countenance。
'You have had a good night?' she said。
'I have had my wish; I have seen Redclyffe;' then; seeing her look
startled; 'Of course; it was a sort of wandering; but I never quite
lost the consciousness of being here; and it was very delightful。 I
saw the waves; each touched with light;the foamthe sea…birds;
floating in shade and light;the treesthe Shagthe skyoh! such a
glory as I never knewthemselvesbut so intensely glorious!'
'I am glad' said Amabel; with a strange participation of the delight it
had given him。
'I don't understand such goodness!' he continued。 'As if it were not
enough to look to heaven beyond; to have this longing gratified; which
I thought I ought to conquer。 Oh; Amy! is not that being Fatherly!'
'Yes; indeed。'
'Now after that; and with mamma's coming (for you will have her if I
don't see her); I have but one wish unfulfilled。'
'Ah! a clergyman。'
'Yes; but if that is withheld; I must believe it is rightly ordered。
We must think of that Sunday at Stylehurst and Christmas…day; and that
last time at Munich。'
'Oh; I am so glad we stayed at Munich for that!'
'Those were times; indeed! and many more。 Yes; I have been a great
deal too much favoured already; and now to be allowed to die just as I
should have chosen'
He broke off to take what Amabel was preparing for him; and she felt
his pulse。 There was fever still; which probably supplied the place of
strength; for he said he was very comfortable; and his eyes were as
bright as ever; but the beats were weak and fluttering; and a thrill
crossed her that it might be near; but she must attend to him; and
could not think。
When it was time for her to go down to breakfast with Philip; Guy said;
'Do you think Philip could come to me to…day? I want much to speak to
him。'
'I am sure he could。'
'Then pray ask him to come; if it will not tire him very much。'
Philip had; the last two mornings; risen in time to breakfast with
Amabel; in the room adjoining his own; he was still very weak; and
attempted no more than crossing the room; and sitting in the balcony to
enjoy the evening air。 He had felt the heat of the weather severely;
and had been a goo