the heir of redclyffe-第124章

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been　wishing　for　it；　but　refraining　from　asking　in　order　to　spare　her；　

and　that　he　was　sorry　when　she　procured　it。　　Again　and　again　this　

happened；　she　smoothed　the　coverings；　and　shook　up　the　pillow：　he　would　

thank　her；　look　at　her　anxiously；　beg　her　not　to　exert　herself；　but　

soon　grew　restless；　and　the　whole　was　repeated。



At　last；　as　she　was　trying　to　arrange　the　coverings；　he　exclaimed；



'I　see　how　it　is。　　This　is　impatience。　　Now；　I　will　not　stir　for　an　

hour；'　and　as　he　made　the　resolution；　he　smiled　at　treating　himself　so　

like　a　child。　　His　power　of　self…restraint　came　to　his　aid；　and　long　

before　the　hour　was　over　he　had　fallen　asleep。



This　was　a　relief；　yet　that　oppressed；　flushed；　discomposed　slumber；　

and　heavy　breathing　only　confirmed　her　fears　that　the　fever　had　gained　

full　possession　of　him。　　She　had　not　the　heart　to　write　such　tidings；　

at　least　till　the　physician　should　have　made　them　too　certain；　nor　

could　she　even　bear　to　use　the　word　'feverish；'　in　her　answers　to　the　

anxious　inquiries　Philip　made　whenever　she　went　into　his　room；　though　

when　he　averted　his　face　with　a　heavy　sigh；　she　knew　his　conclusion　was　

the　same　as　her　own。



The　opinion　of　the　physician　was　the　only　thing　wanting　to　bring　home　

the　certainty；　and　that　fell　on　her　like　lead　in　the　evening；　with　one　

comfort；　however；　that　he　thought　it　a　less　severe　case　than　the　former　

one。　　It　was　a　great　relief；　too；　that　there　was　no　wandering　of　mind；　

only　the　extreme　drowsiness　and　oppression；　and　when　Guy　was　roused　by　

the　doctor's　visit；　he　was　as　clear　and　collected　as　possible；　making　

inquiries　and　remarks；　and　speaking　in　a　particularly　calm　and　quiet　

manner。　　As　soon　as　the　doctor　was　gone；　he　looked　up　to　Amabel；　

saying；　with　his　own　smile；　only　very　dim；



'It　would　be　of　no　use；　and　it　would　not　be　true；　to　say　I　had　rather　

you　did　not　nurse　me。　　The　doctor　hopes　there　is　not　much　danger　of　

infection；　and　it　is　too　late　for　precautions。'



'I　am　very　glad；'　said　Amy。



'But　you　must　be　wise；　and　not　hurt　yourself。　　Will　you　promise　me　not　

to　sit　up？'



'It　is　very　kind　of　you　to　tell　me　nothing　worse；'　said　she；　with　a　sad　

submissiveness。



He　smiled　again。　　'I　am　very　sorry　for　you；'　he　said；　looking　very　

tenderly　at　her。　　'To　have　us　both　on　your　hands　at　once！　　But　it　comes　

straight　from　Heaven；　that　is　one　comfort；　and　you　made　up　your　mind　to　

such　things　when　you　took　me。'



Sadness　in　his　eye；　a　sweet　smile　on　his　lip；　and　serenity　on　his　brow；　

joined　with　the　fevered　cheek；　the　air　of　lassitude；　and　the　panting；　

oppressed　breath；　there　was　a　strange；　melancholy　beauty　about　him；　and　

while　Amy　felt　an　impulse　of　ardent；　clinging　affection　to　one　so　

precious　to　her；　there　was　joined　with　it　a　sort　of　awe　and　veneration　

for　one　who　so　spoke；　looked；　and　felt。　　She　hung　over　him；　and　

sprinkled　him　with　Eau…de…Cologne；　then　as　his　hair　teased　him　by　

falling　into　his　eyes；　he　asked　her　to　cut　the　front　lock　off。　　There　

was　something　sad　in　doing　this；　for　that　'tumble…down　wave；'　as　

Charlotte　called　it；　was　rather　a　favourite　of　Amy's；　it　always　seemed　

to　have　so　much　sympathy　with　his　moods；　and　it　was　as　if　parting　with　

it　was　resigning　him　to　a　long　illness。　　However；　it　was　too　

troublesome　not　to　go；　and　he　looked　amused　at　the　care　with　which　she　

folded　up　the　glossy；　brown　wave；　and　treasured　it　in　her　dressing…

case；　then　she　read　to　him　a　few　verses　of　a　psalm；　and　he　soon　fell　

into　another　doze。



There　was　little　more　of　event；　day　after　day。　　The　fever　never　ran　as　

high　as　in　Philip's　case；　and　there　was　no　delirium。　　There　was　almost　

constant　torpor；　but　when　for　any　short　space　he　was　thoroughly　

awakened；　his　mind　was　perfectly　clear；　though　he　spoke　little；　and　

then　only　on　the　subject　immediately　presented　to　him。　　There　he　lay　

for　one　quiet　hour　after　another；　while　Amy　sat　by　him；　with　as　little　

consciousness　of　time　as　he　had　himself；　looking　neither　forward　nor　

backward；　only　to　the　present；　to　give　him　drink；　bathe　his　face　and　

hands；　arrange　his　pillows；　or　read　or　repeat　some　soothing　verse。　　It　

always　was　a　surprise　when　meal　times　summoned　her　to　attend　to　Philip；　

when　she　was　asked　for　the　letters　for　the　post；　when　evening　twilight　

gathered　in；　or　when　she　had　to　leave　the　night…watch　to　Arnaud；　and　go　

to　bed　in　the　adjoining　room。



This　was　a　great　trial；　but　he　would　not　allow　her　to　sit　up；　and　her　

own　sense　showed　her　that　if　this　was　to　be　a　long　illness；　it　would　

not　do　to　waste　her　strength。　　She　knew　he　was　quiet　at　night；　and　her　

trustful　temper　so　calmed　and　supported　her；　that　she　was　able　to　

sleep；　and　thus　was　not　as　liable　to　be　overworked　as　might　have　been　

feared；　and　as　Philip　thought　she　must　be。



She　always　appeared　in　his　room　with　her　sweet　face　mournful　and　

anxious；　but　never　ruffled；　or　with　any　air　of　haste　or　discomfiture；　

desirous　as　she　was　to　return　to　her　husband；　for；　though　he　frequently　

sent　her　to　take　care　of　herself　or　of　Philip；　she　knew　that　while　she　

was　away　he　always　grew　more　restless　and　uncomfortable；　and　his　look　

of　relief　at　her　re…entrance　said　as　much　to　her　as　a　hundred　

complaints　of　her　absence　would　have　done。



Philip　was　in　the　meantime　sorely　tried　by　being　forced　to　be　entirely　

inactive　and　dependent；　while　he　saw　Amabel　in　such　need　of　assistance；　

and　so　far　from　being　able　to　requite　Guy's　care；　he　could　only　look　on　

himself　as　the　cause　of　their　distress；　and　an　addition　to　ita　

burthen　instead　of　a　help。　　If　he　had　been　told　a　little　while　ago　what　

would　be　the　present　state　of　things；　he　would　almost　have　laughed　the　

speaker　to　scorn。　He　would　never　have　thought　a　child　as　competent　as　

Amy　to　the　sole　management　of　two　sick　persons；　and　he　not　able　either　

to　advise　or　cheer　her。　　Yet　he　could　not　see　anything　went　wrong　that　

depended　on　her。　　His　comforts　were　so　cared　for；　that　he　was　often　

sorry　she　should　have　troubled　herself　about　them；　and　though　he　could　

have　little　of　her　company；　he　never　was　allowed　to　feel　himself　

deserted。　　Anne；　Arnaud；　the　old　Italian　nurse；　or　Amy　herself；　were　

easily　summoned；　and　gave　him　full　care　and　attention。



He　was；　however；　necessarily　a　good　deal　alone；　and　though　his　cousin's　

books　were　at　his　disposal；　eyes　and　head　were　too　weak　for　reading；　

and　he　was　left　a　prey　to　his　own　thoughts。　　His　great　comfort　was；　

that　Guy　was　less　ill　than　he　had　been　himself；　and　that　there　was　no　

present　danger；　otherwise；　he　could　never　have　endured　the　conviction　

that　all　had　been　caused　by　his　own　imprudence。　　Imprudence！　　Philip　

was　brought　very　low　to　own　that　such　a　word　applied　to　him；　yet　it　

would　have　been　well　for　him　had　that　been　the　chief　burthen　on　his　

mind。　　Was　it　only　an　ordinary　service　of　friendship　and　kindred　that　

Guy　had；　at　the　peril　of　his　own　life；　rendered　him？　　Was　it　not　a　

positive　return　of　good　for　evil？　　Yes；　evil！　　He　now　called　that　evil；　

or　at　least　harshness　and　hastiness　in　judgment；　which　he　had　hitherto　

deemed　true　friendship　and　consideration　for　Guy　and　Amy。　　Every　

feeling　of　distrust　and　jealousy　had　been　gradually　softening　since　his　

recovery　began；　gratitude　had　done　much；　and　dismay　at　Guy's　illness　

did　more。　　It　would　have　been　noble　and　generous　in　Guy　to　act　as　he　

had　done；　had　Philip's　surmises　been　correct；　and　this　he　began　to　

doubt；　though　it　was　his　only　justification；　and　even　to　wish　to　lose　

it。　　He　had　rather　believe　Guy　blameless。　　He　would　do　so；　if　possible；　

and　he　resolved；　on　the　first　opportunity；　to　beg　him　to　give　him　one　

last　assurance　that　all　was　right；　and　implicitly　believe　him。　　But　how　

was　it　possible　again　to　assume　to　be　a　ruler　and　judge　over　Guy　after　

it　was　known　how　egregiously　he　himself　had　erred？　　There　was　shame；　

sorrow；　self…humiliation；　and　anxiety　wherever　he　turned；　and　it　was　no