donal grant-第57章

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it！'what　would　you　say？〃

Davie　thought；　and　looked　puzzled。

〃But　you　wouldn't　do　it；　sir！〃　he　said。　〃I　know　you　wouldn't　do
it！〃　he　added；　after　a　moment。

〃Why　should　I　not？〃

〃It　isn't　your　way；　sir。〃

〃But　suppose　I　were　to　take　that　way？〃

〃You　would　not　then　be　like　yourself；　sir！〃

〃Tell　me　how　I　should　be　unlike　myself。　Think。〃

〃You　would　not　be　reasonable。〃

〃What　would　you　say　to　me？〃

〃I　should　say；　'Please；　sir；　let　me　learn　the　proposition　first；　and
then　I　shall　be　able　to　admire　it。　I　don't　know　it　yet！'〃

〃Very　good！Now　again；　suppose；　when　you　tried　to　learn　it；　you
were　not　able　to　do　so；　and　therefore　could　see　no　beauty　in
itshould　I　blame　you？〃

〃No；　sir；　I　am　sure　you　would　notbecause　I　should　not　be　to　blame；
and　it　would　not　be　fair；　and　you　never　do　what　is　not　fair！〃

〃I　am　glad　you　think　so：　I　try　to　be　fair。That　looks　as　if　you
believed　in　me；　Davie！〃

〃Of　course　I　do；　sir！〃

〃Why？〃

〃Just　because　you　are　fair。〃

〃Suppose；　Davie；　I　said　to　you；　'Here　is　a　very　beautiful　thing　I
should　like　you　to　learn；'　and　you；　after　you　had　partly　learned　it；
were　to　say　'I　don't　see　anything　beautiful　in　this：　I　am　afraid　I
never　shall！'would　that　be　to　believe　in　me？〃

〃No；　surely；　sir！　for　you　know　best　what　I　am　able　for。〃

〃Suppose　you　said；　'I　daresay　it　is　all　as　good　as　you　say；　but　I
don't　care　to　take　so　much　trouble　about　it；'what　would　that　be？〃

〃Not　to　believe　in　you；　sir。　You　would　not　want　me　to　learn　a　thing
that　was　not　worth　my　trouble；　or　a　thing　I　should　not　be　glad　of
knowing　when　I　did　know　it。〃

〃Suppose　you　said；　'Sir；　I　don't　doubt　what　you　say；　but　I　am　so
tired；　I　don't　mean　to　do　anything　more　you　tell　me；'would　you
then　be　believing　in　me？〃

〃No。　That　might　be　to　believe　your　word；　but　it　would　not　be　to
trust　you。　It　would　be　to　think　my　thinks　better　than　your　thinks；
and　that　would　be　no　faith　at　all。〃

Davie　had　at　times　an　oddly　childish　way　of　putting　things。

〃Suppose　you　were　to　say　nothing；　but　go　away　and　do　nothing　of　what
I　told　youwhat　would　that　be？〃

〃Worse　and　worse；　it　would　be　sneaking。〃

〃One　question　more：　what　is　faiththe　big　faith　I　meannot　the
little　faith　between　equalsthe　big　faith　we　put　in　one　above　us？〃

〃It　is　to　go　at　once　and　do　the　thing　he　tells　us　to　do。〃

〃If　we　don't；　then　we　haven't　faith　in　him？〃

〃No；　certainly　not。〃

〃But　might　not　that　be　his　fault？〃

〃Yesif　he　was　not　goodand　so　I　could　not　trust　him。　If　he　said　I
was　to　do　one　kind　of　thing；　and　he　did　another　kind　of　thing
himself；　then　of　course　I　could　not　have　faith　in　him。〃

〃And　yet　you　might　feel　you　must　do　what　he　told　you！〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Would　that　be　faith　in　him？〃

〃No。〃

〃Would　you　always　do　what　he　told　you？〃

〃Not　if　he　told　me　to　do　what　it　would　be　wrong　to　do。〃

〃Now　tell　me；　Davie；　what　is　the　biggest　faith　of　allthe　faith　to
put　in　the　one　only　altogether　good　person。〃

〃You　mean　God；　Mr。　Grant？〃

〃Whom　else　could　I　mean？〃

〃You　might　mean　Jesus。〃

〃They　are　one；　they　mean　always　the　same　thing；　do　always　the　same
thing；　always　agree。　There　is　only　one　thing　they　don't　do　the　same
inthey　do　not　love　the　same　person。〃

〃What　do　you　mean；　Mr。　Grant？〃　interrupted　Arctura。

She　had　been　listening　intently：　was　the　cloven　foot　of　Mr。　Grant's
heresy　now　at　last　about　to　appear　plainly？

〃I　mean　this；〃　answered　Donal；　with　a　smile　that　seemed　to　Arctura
such　a　light　as　she　had　never　seen　on　human　face；　〃that　God　loves
Jesus；　not　God；　and　Jesus　loves　God；　not　Jesus。　We　love　one　another；
not　ourselvesdon't　we；　Davie？〃

〃You　do；　Mr。　Grant；〃　answered　Davie　modestly。

〃Now　tell　me；　Davie；　what　is　the　great　big　faith　of　allthat　which
we　have　to　put　in　the　Father　of　us；　who　is　as　good　not　only　as
thought　can　think；　but　as　good　as　heart　can　wishinfinitely　better
than　anybody　but　Jesus　Christ　can　thinkwhat　is　the　faith　to　put　in
him？〃

〃Oh；　it　is　everything！〃　answered　Davie。

〃But　what　first？〃　asked　Donal。

〃First；　it　is　to　do　what　he　tells　us。〃

〃Yes；　Davie：　it　is　to　learn　his　problems　by　going　and　doing　his
will；　not　trying　to　understand　things　first；　but　trying　first　to　do
things。　We　must　spread　out　our　arms　to　him　as　a　child　does　to　his
mother　when　he　wants　her　to　take　him；　then　when　he　sets　us　down；
saying；　'Go　and　do　this　or　that；'　we　must　make　all　the　haste　in　us
to　go　and　do　it。　And　when　we　get　hungry　to　see　him；　we　must　look　at
his　picture。〃

〃Where　is　that；　sir？〃

〃Ah；　Davie；　Davie！　don't　you　know　that　yet？　Don't　you　know　that；
besides　being　himself；　and　just　because　he　is　himself；　Jesus　is　the
living　picture　of　God？〃

〃I　know；　sir！　We　have　to　go　and　read　about　him　in　the　book。〃

〃May　I　ask　you　a　question；　Mr。　Grant？〃　said　Arctura。

〃With　perfect　freedom；〃　answered　Donal。　〃I　only　hope　I　may　be　able
to　answer　it。〃

〃When　we　read　about　Jesus；　we　have　to　draw　for　ourselves　his
likeness　from　words；　and　you　know　what　kind　of　a　likeness　the　best
artist　would　make　that　way；　who　had　never　seen　with　his　own　eyes　the
person　whose　portrait　he　had　to　paint！〃

〃I　understand　you　quite；〃　returned　Donal。　〃Some　go　to　other　men　to
draw　it　for　them；　and　some　go　to　others　to　hear　from　them　what　they
must　drawthus　getting　all　their　blunders　in　addition　to　those　they
must　make　for　themselves。　But　the　nearest　likeness　you　can　see　of
him；　is　the　one　drawn　by　yourself　while　doing　what　he　tells　you。　He
has　promised　to　come　into　those　who　keep　his　word。　He　will　then　be
much　nearer　to　them　than　in　bodily　presence；　and　such　may　well　be
able　to　draw　for　themselves　the　likeness　of　God。But　first　of　all；
and　before　everything　else；　mind；　Davie；　OBEDIENCE！〃

〃Yes；　Mr。　Grant；　I　know；〃　said　Davie。

〃Then　off　with　you！　Only　think　sometimes　it　is　God　who　gave　you　your
game。〃

〃I'm　going　to　fly　my　kite；　Mr。　Grant。〃

〃Do。　God　likes　to　see　you　fly　your　kite；　and　it　is　all　in　his　March
wind　it　flies。　It　could　not　go　up　a　foot　but　for　that。〃

Davie　went。

〃You　have　heard　that　my　uncle　is　very　ill　to…day！〃　said　Arctura。

〃I　have。　Poor　man！〃　replied　Donal。

〃He　must　be　in　a　very　peculiar　condition。〃

〃Of　body　and　mind　both。　He　greatly　perplexes　me。〃

〃You　would　be　quite　as　much　perplexed　if　you　had　known　him　as　long
as　I　have！　Never　since　my　father's　death；　which　seems　a　century　ago；
have　I　felt　safe；　never　in　my　uncle's　presence　at　ease。　I　get　no
nearer　to　him。　It　seems　to　me；　Mr。　Grant；　that　the　cause　of
discomfort　and　strife　is　never　that　we　are　too　near　others；　but　that
we　are　not　near　enough。〃

This　was　a　remark　after　Donal's　own　heart。

〃I　understand　you；〃　he　said；　〃and　entirely　agree　with　you。〃

〃I　never　feel　that　my　uncle　cares　for　me　except　as　one　of　the
family；　and　the　holder　of　its　chief　property。　He　would　have　liked　me
better；　perhaps；　if　I　had　been　dependent　on　him。〃

〃How　long　will　he　be　your　guardian？〃　asked　Donal。

〃He　is　no　longer　my　guardian　legally。　The　time　set　by　my　father's
will　ended　last　year。　I　am　three　and　twenty；　and　my　own　mistress。
But　of　course　it　is　much　better　to　have　the　head　of　the　house　with
me。　I　wish　he　were　a　little　more　like　other　people！But　tell　me
about　the　ghost…music：　we　had　not　time　to　talk　of　it　last　night！〃

〃I　got　pretty　near　the　place　it　came　from。　But　the　wind　blew　so；　and
it　was　so　dark；　that　I　could　do　nothing　more　then。〃

〃You　will　try　again？〃

〃I　shall　indeed。〃

〃I　am　afraid；　if　you　find　a　natural　cause　for　it；　I　shall　be　a
little　sorry。〃

〃How　can　there　be　any　other　than　a　natural　cause；　my　lady？　God　and
Nature　are　one。　God　is　the　causing　Nature。Tell　me；　is　not　the
music　heard　only　in　stormy　nights；　or　at　least　nights　with　a　good
deal　of　wind？〃

〃I　have　heard　it　in　the　daytime！〃

〃On　a　still　day？〃

〃I　think　not。　I　think　too　I　never　heard　it　on　a　still　summer　night。〃

〃Do　you　think　it　comes　in　all　storms？〃

〃I　think　not。〃

〃Then　perhaps　it　has　something　to　do　not　merely　with　the　wind；　but
with　the　direction　of　the　wind！〃

〃Perhaps。　I　cannot　say。〃

〃That　might　account　for　the　uncertainty　of　its　visits！　The
instrument　may　be　accessible；　yet　its　converse　with　the　operating
power　so　rare　that　it　has　not　yet　been　discovered。　It　is　a　case　in
whi