donal grant-第43章

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to　what　is　fit　for　us；　but　they　may　lead　us　to　the　knowledge　of　what
we　are　fit　for。〃

〃Extremely　well　said！〃　returned　the　earl。

I　do　not　think　he　understood　in　the　least　what　Donal　meant。

〃Shall　I　try　how　he　takes　to　trigonometry？　He　might　care　to　learn
land…surveying！　Gentlemen　now；　not　unfrequently；　take　charge　of　the
properties　of　their　more　favoured　relatives。　There　is　Mr。　Graeme；
your　own　factor；　my　lorda　relative；　I　understand！〃

〃A　distant　one；〃　answered　his　lordship　with　marked　coldness；　〃the
degree　of　relationship　hardly　to　be　counted。〃

〃In　the　lowlands；　my　lord；　you　do　not　care　to　count　kin　as　we　do　in
the　highlands！　My　heart　warms　to　the　word　kinsman。〃

〃You　have　not　found　kinship　so　awkward　as　I；　possibly！〃　said　his
lordship；　with　a　watery　smile。　〃The　man　in　humble　position　may　allow
the　claim　of　kin　to　any　extent：　he　has　nothing；　therefore　nothing
can　be　taken　from　him！　But　the　man　who　has　would　be　the　poorest　of
the　clan　if　he　gave　to　every　needy　relation。〃

〃I　never　knew　the　man　so　poor；〃　answered　Donal；　〃that　he　had　nothing
to　give。　But　the　things　of　the　poor　are　hardly　to　the　purpose　of　the
predatory　relative。〃

〃'Predatory　relative！'a　good　phrase！〃　said　his　lordship；　with　a
sleepy　laugh；　though　his　eyes　were　wide　open。　His　lips　did　not　seem
to　care　to　move；　yet　he　looked　pleased。　〃To　tell　you　the　truth；〃　he
began　again；　〃at　one　period　of　my　history　I　gave　and　gave　till　I　was
tired　of　giving！　Ingratitude　was　the　sole　return。　At　one　period　I
had　large　possessionslarger　than　I　like　to　think　of　now：　if　I　had
the　tenth　part　of　what　I　have　given　away；　I　should　not　be　uneasy
concerning　Davie。〃

〃There　is　no　fear　of　Davie；　my　lord；　so　long　as　he　is　brought　up
with　the　idea　that　he　must　work　for　his　bread。〃

His　lordship　made　no　answer；　and　his　look　reminded　Donal　of　that　he
wore　when　he　came　to　his　chamber。　A　moment；　and　he　rose　and　began　to
pace　the　room。　An　indescribable　suggestion　of　an　invisible　yet
luminous　cloud　hovered　about　his　forehead　and　eyeswhich　latter；　if
not　fixed　on　very　vacancy；　seemed　to　have　got　somewhere　near　it。　At
the　fourth　or　fifth　turn　he　opened　the　door　by　which　he　had　entered；
continuing　a　remark　he　had　begun　to　Donalof　which；　although　he
heard　every　word　and　seemed　on　the　point　of　understanding　something；
he　had　not　caught　the　sense　when　his　lordship　disappeared；　still
talking。　Donal　thought　it　therefore　his　part　to　follow　him；　and
found　himself　in　his　lordship's　bedroom。　But　out　of　this　his
lordship　had　already　gone；　through　an　opposite　door；　and　Donal　still
following　entered　an　old　picture…gallery；　of　which　he　had　heard
Davie　speak；　but　which　the　earl　kept　private　for　his　exercise
indoors。　It　was　a　long；　narrow　place；　hardly　more　than　a　wide
corridor；　and　appeared　nowhere　to　afford　distance　enough　for　seeing
a　picture。　But　Donal　could　ill　judge；　for　the　sole　light　in　the
place　came　from　the　fires　and　candles　in　the　rooms　whose　doors　they
had　left　open　behind　them；　with　just　a　faint　glimmer　from　the
vapour…buried　moon；　sufficing　to　show　the　outline　of　window　after
window；　and　revealing　something　of　the　great　length　of　the　gallery。

By　the　time　Donal　overtook　the　earl；　he　was　some　distance　down；
holding　straight　on　into　the　long　dusk；　and　still　talking。

〃This　is　my　favourite　promenade；〃　he　said；　as　if　brought　to　himself
by　the　sound　of　Donal's　overtaking　steps。　〃After　dinner　always；　Mr。
Grant；　wet　weather　or　dry；　still　or　stormy；　I　walk　here。　What　do　I
care　for　the　weather！　It　will　be　time　when　I　am　old　to　consult　the
barometer！〃

Donal　wondered　a　little：　there　seemed　no　great　hardihood　in　the
worst　of　weather　to　go　pacing　a　picture…gallery；　where　the　fiercest
storm　that　ever　blew　could　send　in　only　little　threads　of　air
through　the　chinks　of　windows　and　doors！

〃Yes；〃　his　lordship　went　on；　〃I　taught　myself　hardship　in　my
boyhood；　and　I　reap　the　fruits　of　it　in　my　prime！Come　up　here：　I
will　show　you　a　prospect　unequalled。〃

He　stopped　in　front　of　a　large　picture；　and　began　to　talk　as　if
expatiating　on　the　points　of　a　landscape　outspread　before　him。　His
remarks　belonged　to　something　magnificent；　but　whether　they　were
applicable　to　the　picture　Donal　could　not　tell；　there　was　light
enough　only　to　give　a　faint　gleam　to　its　gilded　frame。

〃Reach　beyond　reach！〃　said　his　lordship；　〃endless！　infinite！　How
would　not　poor　Maldon；　with　his　ever　fresh　ambition　after　the
unattainable；　have　gloated　on　such　a　scene！　In　Nature　alone　you
front　success！　She　does　what　she　means！　She　alone　does　what　she
means！〃

〃If；〃　said　Donal；　more　for　the　sake　of　confirming　the　earl's
impression　that　he　had　a　listener；　than　from　any　idea　that　he　would
listen〃if　you　mean　the　object　of　Nature　is　to　present　us　with
perfection；　I　cannot　allow　she　does　what　she　intends：　you　rarely　see
her　produce　anything　she　would　herself　call　perfect。　But　if　her
object　be　to　make　us　behold　perfection　with　the　inner　eye；　this
object　she　certainly　does　gain；　and　that　just　by　stopping　short
of〃

He　did　not　finish　the　sentence。　A　sudden　change　was　upon　him；
absorbing　him　so　that　he　did　not　even　try　to　account　for　it：
something　seemed　to　give　way　in　his　headas　if　a　bubble　burst　in
his　brain；　and　from　that　moment　whatever　the　earl　said；　and　whatever
arose　in　his　own　mind；　seemed　to　have　outward　existence　as　well。　He
heard　and　knew　the　voice　of　his　host；　but　seemed　also　in　some
inexplicable　way；　which　at　the　time　occasioned　him　no　surprise；　to
see　the　things　which　had　their　origin　in　the　brain　of　the　earl。
Whether　he　went　in　very　deed　out　with　him　into　the　night；　he　did　not
knowhe　felt　as　if　he　had　gone；　and　thought　he　had　notbut　when　he
woke　the　next　morning　in　his　bed　at　the　top　of　the　tower；　which　he
had　no　recollection　of　climbing；　he　was　as　weary　as　if　he　had　been
walking　the　night　through。




CHAPTER　XXXI。

BEWILDERMENT。

His　first　thought　was　of　a　long　and　delightful　journey　he　had　made
on　horseback　with　the　earlthrough　scenes　of　entrancing　interest
and　variety；with　the　present　result　of　a　strange　weariness；　almost
misery。　What　had　befallen　him？　Was　the　thing　a　fact　or　a　fancy？　If　a
fancy；　how　was　he　so　weary？　If　a　fact；　how　could　it　have　been？　Had
he　in　any　way　been　the　earl's　companion　through　such　a　long　night　as
it　seemed？　Could　they　have　visited　all　the　places　whose　remembrance
lingered　in　his　brain？　He　was　so　confused；　so　bewildered；　so　haunted
with　a　shadowy　uneasiness　almost　like　remorse；　that　he　even　dreaded
the　discovery　of　the　cause　of　it　all。　Might　a　man　so　lose　hold　of
himself　as　to　be　no　more　certain　he　had　ever　possessed　or　could　ever
possess　himself　again？

He　bethought　himself　at　last　that　he　might　perhaps　have　taken　more
wine　than　his　head　could　stand。　Yet　he　remembered　leaving　his　glass
unemptied　to　follow　the　earl；　and　it　was　some　time　after　that　before
the　change　came！　Could　it　have　been　drunkenness？　Had　it　been　slowly
coming　without　his　knowing　it？　He　could　hardly　believe　it？　But
whatever　it　was；　it　had　left　him　unhappy；　almost　ashamed。　What　would
the　earl　think　of　him？　He　must　have　concluded　him　unfit　any　longer
to　keep　charge　of　his　son！　For　his　own　part　he　did　not　feel　he　was
to　blame；　but　rather　that　an　accident　had　befallen　him。　Whence　then
this　sense　of　something　akin　to　shame？　Why　should　he　be　ashamed　of
anything　coming　upon　him　from　without？　Of　that　shame　he　had　to　be
ashamed；　as　of　a　lack　of　faith　in　God！　Would　God　leave　his　creature
who　trusted　in　him　at　the　mercy　of　a　chanceof　a　glass　of　wine
taken　in　ignorance？　There　was　a　thing　to　be　ashamed　of；　and　with
good　cause！

He　got　up；　found　to　his　dismay　that　it　was　almost　ten　o'clockhis
hour　for　rising　in　winter　being　sixdressed　in　haste；　and　went
down；　wondering　that　Davie　had　not　come　to　see　after　him。

In　the　schoolroom　he　found　him　waiting　for　him。　The　boy　sprang　up；
and　darted　to　meet　him。

〃I　hope　you　are　better；　Mr。　Grant！〃　he　said。　〃I　am　so　glad　you　are
able　to　be　down！〃

〃I　am　quite　well；〃　answered　Donal。　〃I　can't　think　what　made　me　sleep
so　long？　Why　didn't　you　come　and　wake　me；　Davie；　my　boy？〃

〃Because　Simmons　told　me　you　were　ill；　and　I　must　not　disturb　you　if
you　were　ever　so　late　in　comin