donal grant-第2章
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〃I'm jist upo' the tramp； luikin' for wark。〃
〃An' what may ye be pleast to ca' wark？〃
〃Ow； jist the communication o' what I hae the un'erstan'in' o'。〃
〃Aweel； gien ye'll condescen' to advice frae an auld wife； I'll gie
ye a bit wi' ye： tak na ilka lass ye see for a born angel。 Misdoobt
her a wee to begin wi'。 Hing up yer jeedgment o' her a wee。 Luik
to the moo' an' the e'en o' her。〃
〃I thank ye；〃 said Donal； with a smile； in which the woman spied the
sadness； 〃I'm no like to need the advice。〃
She looked at him pitifully； and paused。
〃Gien ye come this gait again；〃 she said； 〃ye'll no gang by my
door？〃
〃I wull no；〃 replied Donal； and wishing her good…bye with a grateful
heart； betook himself to his journey。
He had not gone far when he found himself on a wide moor。 He sat
down on a big stone； and began to turn things over in his mind。
This is how his thoughts went：
〃I can never be the man I was！ The thoucht o' my heart 's ta'en
frae me！ I canna think aboot things as I used。 There's naething
sae bonny as afore。 Whan the life slips frae him； hoo can a man
gang on livin'！ Yet I'm no deidthat's what maks the diffeeclety
o' the situation！ Gien I war deidweel； I kenna what than！ I
doobt there wad be trible still； though some things micht be
lichter。 But that's neither here nor there； I maun live； I hae nae
ch'ice； I didna mak mysel'； an' I'm no gaein' to meddle wi' mysel'！
I think mair o' mysel' nor daur that！
〃But there's ae question I maun sattle afore I gang fartheran'
that's this： am I to be less or mair nor I was afore？ It's agreed I
canna be the same： if I canna be the same； I maun aither be less or
greater than I was afore： whilk o' them is't to be？ I winna hae
that queston to speir mair nor ance！ I'll be mair nor I was。 To
sink to less wad be to lowse grip o' my past as weel's o' my futur！
An' hoo wad I ever luik her i' the face gien I grew less because o'
her！ A chiel' like me lat a bonny lassie think hersel' to blame for
what I grew til！ An' there's a greater nor the lass to be
considert！ 'Cause he seesna fit to gie me her I wad hae； is he no to
hae his wull o' me？ It's a gran' thing to ken a lassie like yon；
an' a gran'er thing yet to be allooed to lo'e her： to sit down an'
greit 'cause I'm no to merry her； wad be most oongratefu'！ What for
sud I threip 'at I oucht to hae her？ What for sudna I be
disapp'intit as weel as anither？ I hae as guid a richt to ony guid
'at's to come o' that； I fancy！ Gien it be a man's pairt to cairry
a sair hert； it canna be his pairt to sit doon wi' 't upo' the
ro'd…side； an' lay't upo' his lap； an' greit ower't； like a bairn
wi' a cuttit finger： he maun haud on his ro'd。 Wha am I to differ
frae the lave o' my fowk！ I s' be like the lave； an' gien I greit I
winna girn。 The Lord himsel' had to be croont wi' pain。 Eh； my
bonnie doo！ But ye lo'e a better man； an' that's a sair comfort！
Gien it had been itherwise； I div not think I could hae borne the
pain at my hert。 But as it's guid an' no ill 'at's come to ye； I
haena you an' mysel' tu to greit for； an' that's a sair comfort！
Lord； I'll clim' to thee； an' gaither o' the healin' 'at grows for
the nations i' thy gairden。
〃I see the thing as plain's thing can be： the cure o' a' ill 's jist
mair life！ That's it！ Life abune an' ayont the life 'at took the
stroke！ An' gien throu' this hert…brak I come by mair life； it'll
be jist ane o' the throes o' my h'avenly birthi' the whilk the
bairn has as mony o' the pains as the mither： that's maybe a differ
'atween the twathe earthly an' the h'avenly！
〃Sae noo I hae to begin fresh； an' lat the thing 'at's past an' gane
slip efter ither dreams。 Eh； but it's a bonny dream yet！ It lies
close 'ahin' me； no to be forgotten； no to be luikit atlike ane o'
thae dreams o' watter an' munelicht 'at has nae wark i' them： a body
wadna lie a' nicht an' a' day tu in a dream o' the sowl's gloamin'！
Na； Lord； mak o' me a strong man； an' syne gie me as muckle o' the
bonny as may please thee。 Wha am I to lippen til； gien no to thee；
my ain father an' mither an' gran'father an' a' body in ane； for
thoo giedst me them a'！
〃Noo I'm to begin againa fresh life frae this minute！ I'm to set
oot frae this verra p'int； like ane o' the youngest sons i' the
fairy tales； to seek my portion； an' see what's comin' to meet me as
I gang to meet hit。 The warl' afore me's my story…buik。 I canna
see ower the leaf till I come to the en' o' 't。 Whan I was a bairn；
jist able； wi' sair endeevour； to win at the hert o' print； I never
wad luik on afore！ The ae time I did it； I thoucht I had dune a
shamefu' thing； like luikin' in at a keyholeas I did jist ance tu；
whan I thank God my mither gae me sic a blessed lickin' 'at I kent
it maun be something dreidfu' I had dune。 Sae here's for what's
comin'！ I ken whaur it maun come frae； an' I s' make it welcome。
My mither says the main mischeef i' the warl' is； 'at fowk winna
lat the Lord hae his ain w'y； an' sae he has jist to tak it； whilk
maks it a sair thing for them。〃
Therewith he rose to encounter that which was on its way to meet
him。 He is a fool who stands and lets life move past him like a
panorama。 He also is a fool who would lay hands on its motion； and
change its pictures。 He can but distort and injure； if he does not
ruin them； and come upon awful shadows behind them。
And lo！ as he glanced around him； already something of the old
mysterious loveliness； now for so long vanished from the face of the
visible world； had returned to itnot yet as it was before； but
with dawning promise of a new creation； a fresh beauty； in welcoming
which he was not turning from the old； but receiving the new that
God sent him。 He might yet be many a time sad； but to lament would
be to act as if he were wrongedwould be at best weak and foolish！
He would look the new life in the face； and be what it should
please God to make him。 The scents the wind brought him from field
and garden and moor； seemed sweeter than ever wind…borne scents
before： they were seeking to comfort him！ He sighedbut turned
from the sigh to God； and found fresh gladness and welcome。 The
wind hovered about him as if it would fain have something to do in
the matter； the river rippled and shone as if it knew something
worth knowing as yet unrevealed。 The delight of creation is verily
in secrets； but in secrets as truths on the way。 All secrets are
embryo revelations。 On the far horizon heaven and earth met as old
friends； who； though never parted； were ever renewing their
friendship。 The world； like the angels； was rejoicingif not over
a sinner that had repented； yet over a man that had passed from a
lower to a higher condition of lifeout of its earth into its air：
he was going to live above； and look down on the inferior world！
Ere the shades of evening fell that day around Donal Grant； he was
in the new childhood of a new world。
I do not mean such thoughts had never been present to him before；
but to think a thing is only to look at it in a glass； to know it as
God would have us know it； and as we must know it to live； is to see
it as we see love in a friend's eyesto have it as the love the
friend sees in ours。 To make things real to us； is the end and the
battle…cause of life。 We often think we believe what we are only
presenting to our imaginations。 The least thing can overthrow that
kind of faith。 The imagination is an endless help towards faith；
but it is no more faith than a dream of food will make us strong for
the next day's work。 To know God as the beginning and end； the root
and cause； the giver； the enabler； the love and joy and perfect
good； the present one existence in all things and degrees and
conditions； is life； and faith； in its simplest； truest； mightiest
form isto do his will。
Donal was making his way towards the eastern coast； in the certain
hope of finding work of one kind or another。 He could have been
well content to pass his life as a shepherd like his father but for
two things： he knew what it would be well for others to know； and he
had a hunger after the society of books。 A man must be able to do
without what
