donal grant-第112章
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better than ever: and as one I would fain help; I loved you from the
very first。 But I should have scorned myself had I once fancied you
loved me more than just to do anything for me I needed done。 When I
saw you troubled; I longed to take you up in my arms; and carry you
like a lovely bird that had fallen from one of God's nests; but
never once; my lady; did I think of your caring for my love: it was
yours as a matter of course。 I once asked a lady to kiss mejust
once; for a good…bye: she would notand she was quite right; but
after that I never spoke to a lady but she seemed to stand far away
on the top of a hill against a sky。〃
He stopped。 Her hands on his fluttered a little; as if they would
fly。
〃Is she stillis shealive?〃 she asked。
〃Oh yes; my lady。〃
〃Then she maychange〃 said Arctura; and stopped; for there was a
stone in her heart。
Donal laughed。 It was an odd laugh; but it did Arctura good。
〃No danger of that; my lady! She has the best husband in the
worlda much better than I should have made; much as I loved her。〃
〃That can't be!〃
〃Why; my lady; her husband's sir Gibbie! She's lady Galbraith! I
would never have wished her mine if I had known she loved Gibbie。 I
love her next to him。〃
〃Thenthen〃
〃What; my lady?〃
〃ThenthenOh; do say something!〃
〃What should I say? What God wills is fast as the roots of the
universe; and lovely as its blossom。〃
Arctura burst into tears。
〃Then you do notcare for me!〃
Donal began to understand。 In some things he went on so fast that he
could not hear the cry behind him。 She had spoken; and had been
listening in vain for response! She thought herself unloved: he had
shown her no sign that he loved her!
His heart was so full of love and the joy of love; that they had
made him very still: now the delight of love awoke。 He took her in
his arms like a child; rose; and went walking about the room with
her; petting and soothing her。 He held her close to his heart; her
head was on his shoulder; and his face was turned to hers。
〃I love you;〃 he said; 〃and love you to all eternity! I have love
enough now to live upon; if you should die to…night; and I should
tarry till he come。 O God; thou art too good to me! It is more than
my heart can bear! To make men and women; and give them to each
other; and not be one moment jealous of the love wherewith they love
one another; is to be a God indeed!〃
So said Donaland spoke the high truth。 But alas for the love
wherewith men and women love each other! There were small room for
God to be jealous of that! It is the little love with which they
love each other; the great love with which they love themselves;
that hurts the heart of their father。
Arctura signed at length a prayer for release; and he set her gently
down in her chair again。 Then he saw her face more beautiful than
ever before; and the rose that bloomed there was the rose of a
health deeper than sickness。 These children of God were of the
blessed few who love the more that they know him present; whose
souls are naked before him; and not ashamed。 Let him that hears
understand! if he understand not; let him hold his peace; and it
will be his wisdom! He who has no place for this love in his
religion; who thinks to be more holy without it; is not of God's
mind when he said; 〃Let us make man!〃 He may be a saint; but he
cannot be a man after God's own heart。 The finished man is the saved
man。 The saint may have to be saved from more than sin。
〃When shall we be married?〃 asked Donal。
〃Soon; soon;〃 answered Arctura。
〃To…morrow then?〃
〃No; not to…morrow: there is no such hastenow that we understand
each other;〃 she added with a rosy smile。 〃I want to be married to
you before I die; that is allnot just to…morrow; or the next day。〃
〃When you please; my love;〃 said Donal。
She laid her head on his bosom。
〃We are as good as married now;〃 she said: 〃we know that each loves
the other! How I shall wait for you! You will be mine; you knowa
little bit minewon't you?even if you should marry some beautiful
lady after I am gone?I shall love her when she comes。〃
〃Arctura!〃 said Donal。
CHAPTER LXXXI。
A WILL AND A WEDDING。
But the opening of the windows of heaven; and the unspeakable rush
of life through channels too narrow and banks too weak to hold its
tide; caused a terrible inundation: the red flood broke its banks;
and weakened all the land。
Arctura sent for Mr。 Graeme; and commissioned him to fetch the
family lawyer from Edinburgh。 Alone with him she gave instructions
concerning her will。 The man of business shrugged his shoulders;
laden with so many petty weights; bowed down with so many falsest
opinions; and would have expostulated with her。
〃Sir!〃 she said。
〃You have a cousin who inherits the title!〃 he suggested。
〃Mr。 Fortune;〃 she returned; 〃it may be I know as much of my family
as you。 I did not send for you to consult you; but to tell you how I
would have my will drawn up!〃
〃I beg your pardon; my lady;〃 rejoined the lawyer; 〃but there are
things which may make it one's duty to speak out。〃
〃Speak then; I will listenthat you may ease your mind。〃
He began a long; common…sense; worldly talk on the matter; nor once
repeated himself。 When he stopped;
〃Now have you eased your mind?〃 she asked。
〃I have; my lady。〃
〃Then listen to me。 There is no necessity you should hurt either
your feelings or your prejudices。 If it goes against your conscience
to do as I wish; I will not trouble you。〃
Mr。 Fortune bowed; took his instructions; and rose。
〃When will you bring it me?〃 she asked。
〃In the course of a week or two; my lady。〃
〃If it is not in my hands by the day after to…morrow; I will send
for a gentleman from the town to prepare it。〃
〃You shall have it; my lady;〃 said Mr。 Fortune。
She did have it; and it was signed and witnessed。
Then she sank more rapidly。 Donal said no word about the marriage:
it should be as she pleased! He was much by her bedside; reading to
her when she was able to listen; talking to her or sitting silent
when she was not。
Arctura had at once told mistress Brookes the relation in which she
and Donal stood to each other。 It cost the good woman many tears;
for she thought such a love one of the saddest things in a sad
world。 Neither Arctura nor Donal thought so。
The earl at this time was a little better; though without prospect
of even temporary recovery。 He had grown much gentler; and sadness
had partially displaced his sullenness。 He seemed to have become in
a measure aware of the bruteness of the life he had hitherto led: he
must have had a glimpse of something better。 It is wonderful what
the sickness which human stupidity regards as the one evil thing;
can do towards redemption! He showed concern at his niece's illness;
and had himself carried down every other day to see her for a few
minutes。 She received him always with the greatest gentleness; and
he showed something that seemed like genuine affection for her。
It was a morning in the month of May
The naked twigs were shivering all for cold
when Donal; who had been with Arctura the greater part of the night;
and now lay on the couch in a neighbouring room; heard Mrs。 Brookes
call him。
〃My lady wants you; sir;〃 she said。
He started up; and went to her。
〃Send for the minister;〃 she whispered; 〃not Mr。 Carmichael; he
does not know you。 Send for Mr。 Graeme too: he and mistress Brookes
will be witnesses。 I must call you husband once before I die!〃
〃I hope you will many a time after!〃 he returned。
She smiled on him with a look of love unutterable。
〃Mind;〃 she said; holding out her arms feebly; but drawing him fast
to her bosom; 〃that this is how I love you! When you see me dull and
stupid; and I hardly look at youfor though death makes bright;
dying makes stupidthen say to yourself; 'This is not how she loves
me; it is only how she is dying! She loves me and knows itand by
and by will be able to show it!'〃
They were precious words both then and afterwards!
With some careful questioning; to satisfy himself that; so evidently
at the gate of death she yet knew perfectly her own mind;and not
wit