donal grant-第108章
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ever since； dead yet alive； watching for his return to pardon him？
Would his wife so receive him at the last with forgiveness and
endearment？ His eyes were fixed upon her。 His lips moved tremulously
once or twice； but no word came。 He turned from her； glanced round
the place； and said；
〃It is a great improvement！〃
I wonder how it would be with souls if they waked up and found all
their sins but hideous dreams！ How many would loathe the sin？ How
many would remain capable of doing all again？ But few； perhaps no
burdened souls can have any idea of the power that lies in God's
forgiveness to relieve their consciousness of defilement。 Those who
say； 〃Even God cannot destroy the fact！〃 care more about their own
cursed shame than their Father's blessed truth！ Such will rather
excuse than confess。 When a man heartily confesses； leaving excuse
to God； the truth makes him free； he knows that the evil has gone
from him； as a man knows that he is cured of his plague。
〃I did the thing；〃 he says； 〃but I could not do it now。 I am the
same； yet not the same。 I confess； I would not hide it； but I loathe
itten times the more that the evil thing was mine。〃
Had the earl been able to say thus； he would have felt his soul a
cleansed chapel； new…opened to the light and air；nay； bettera
fresh…watered garden； in which the fruits of the spirit had begun to
grow！ God's forgiveness is as the burst of a spring morning into the
heart of winter。 His autumn is the paying of the uttermost farthing。
To let us go without that would be the pardon of a demon； not the
forgiveness of the eternally loving God。 ButNot yet； alas； not
yet！ has to be said over so many souls！
Arctura was struck dumb。 She turned and walked out upon the great
stair； her uncle following her。 All the way up to the second floor
she felt as if he were about to stab her in the back； but she would
not look behind her。 She went straight to her room； and heard her
uncle go on to his。 She rang her bell； sent for Donal； and told him
what had passed。
〃I will go to him；〃 said Donal。
Arctura said nothing more； thus leaving the matter entirely in his
hands。
Donal found him lying on the couch。
〃My lord；〃 he said； 〃you must be aware of the reasons why you should
not present yourself here！〃
The earl started up in one of his ready rages：they were real
enough！ With epithets of contemptuous hatred； he ordered Donal from
the room and the house。 Donal answered nothing till the rush of his
wrath had abated。
〃My lord；〃 he said； 〃there is nothing I would not do to serve your
lordship。 But I have no choice but tell you that if you do not walk
out； you shall be expelled！〃
〃Expelled； you dog！〃
〃Expelled； my lord。 The would…be murderer of his hostess must at
least be put out of the house。〃
〃Good heavens！〃 cried the earl； changing his tone with an attempted
laugh； 〃has the poor； hysterical girl succeeded in persuading a man
of your sense to believe her childish fancies？〃
〃I believe every word my lady says； my lord。 I know that you had
nearly murdered her。〃
The earl caught up the poker and struck at his head。 Donal avoided
the blow。 It fell on the marble chimney…piece。 While his arm was yet
jarred by the impact； Donal wrenched the poker from him。
〃My lord；〃 he said； 〃with my own hands I drew the staple of the
chain that fastened her to the bed on which you left her to die！ You
were yet in the house when I did so。〃
〃You damned rascal； you stole the key。 If it had not been for that I
should have gone to her again。 I only wanted to bring her to
reason！〃
〃But as you had lost the key； rather than expose your cruelty； you
went away； and left her to perish！ You wanted her to die unless you
could compel her to marry your son； that the title and property
might go together； and that when with my own ears I heard your
lordship tell that son that he had no right to any title！〃
〃What a man may say in a rage goes for nothing；〃 answered the earl；
sulkily rather than fiercely。
〃But not what a woman writes in sorrow！〃 rejoined Donal。 〃I know the
truth from the testimony of her you called your wife； as well as
from your own mouth！〃
〃The testimony of the dead； and at second hand； will hardly be
received in court！〃 returned the earl。
〃If after your lordship's death； the man now called lord Forgue
dares assume the title of Morven； I will publish what I know。 In
view of that； your lordship had better furnish him with the vouchers
of his mother's marriage。 My lord； I again beg you to leave the
house。〃
The earl cast his eyes round the walls as if looking for a weapon。
Donal took him by the arm。
〃There is no farther room for ceremony；〃 he said。 〃I am sorry to be
rough with your lordship； but you compel me。 Please remember I am
the younger and the stronger man。〃
As he spoke he let the earl feel the ploughman's grasp： it was
useless to struggle。 His lordship threw himself on the couch。
〃I will not leave the house。 I am come home to die；〃 he yelled。 〃I'm
dying now； I tell you。 I cannot leave the house！ I have no money。
Forgue has taken all。〃
〃You owe a large sum to the estate！〃 said Donal。
〃It is lostall lost； I tell you！ I have nowhere to go to！ I am
dying！〃
He looked so utterly wretched that Donal's heart smote him。 He stood
back a little； and gave himself time。
〃You would wish then to retire； my lord； I presume？〃 he said。
〃Immediatelyto be rid of you！〃 the earl answered。
〃I fear； my lord； if you stay； you will not soon be rid of me！ Have
you brought Simmons with you？〃
〃No； damn him！ he is like all the rest of you： he has left me！〃
〃I will help you to bed； my lord。〃
〃Go about your business。 I will get myself to bed。〃
〃I will not leave you except in bed；〃 rejoined Donal with decision；
and ringing the bell； he desired the servant to ask mistress Brookes
to come to him。
She came instantly。 Before the earl had time even to look at her；
Donal asked her to get his lordship's bed ready：if she would not
mind doing it herself； he said； he would help her： he must see his
lordship to bed。
She looked a whole book at him； but said nothing。 Donal returned her
gaze with one of quiet confidence； and she understood it。 What it
said was； 〃I know what I am doing； mistress Brookes。 My lady must
not turn him out。 I will take care of him。〃
〃What are you two whispering at there？〃 cried the earl。 〃Here am I
at the point of death； and you will not even let me go to bed！〃
〃Your room will be ready in a few minutes； my lord；〃 said Mrs。
Brookes； and she and Donal went to work in earnest； but with the
door open between the rooms。
When it was ready；
〃Now； my lord；〃 said Donal； 〃will you come？〃
〃When you are gone。 I will have none of your cursed help！〃
〃My lord； I am not going to leave you。〃
With much grumbling； and a very ill grace； his lordship submitted；
and Donal got him to bed。
〃Now put that cabinet by me on the table；〃 he said。
The cabinet was that in which he kept his drugs； and had not been
touched since he left it。
Donal opened the window； took up the cabinet； and threw it out。
With a bellow like that of a bull； the earl sprang out of bed； and
just as the crash came from below； ran at Donal where he stood
shutting the window； as if he would have sent him after the cabinet。
Donal caught him and held him fast。
〃My lord；〃 he said； 〃I will nurse you； serve you； do anything；
everything for you； but for the devil I'll be damned if I move hand
or foot！ Not one drop of hellish stuff shall pass your lips while I
am with you！〃
〃But I am dying！ I shall die of the horrors！〃 shrieked the earl；
struggling to get to the window； as if he might yet do something to
save his precious extracts； tinctures； essences； and compounds。
〃We will send for the doctor；〃 said Donal。 〃A very clever young
fellow has come to the town since you left： perhaps he can help you。
I will do what I can to make you give your life fair play。〃
〃Come； come！ none of that damned rubbish！ My life is of no end of
value to me！ Besides； it's too late。 If I were young now； with a
constitution like yours； and the world before me； there might be
some good in a paring or two of self
