the turmoil-第38章

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〃How　often　is　that？〃



〃The　thing　should　make　about　sixty…eight　disks　a　minutea　little　more　than

one　a　second。〃



〃And　you're　close　to　it？〃



〃Oh；　the　workman　has　to　sit　in　its　lap；〃　he　said；　turning　to　her　more　gaily。

〃The　others　don't　mind　。　　You　see；　it's　something　wrong　with　me。　I　have　an

idiotic　way　of　flinching　from　the　confounded　thingI　flinch　and　duck　a　little

every　time　the　crash　comes；　and　I　couldn't　get　over　it。　I　was　a　treat　to　the

other　workmen　in　that　room；　they'll　be　glad　to　see　me　back。　　They　used　to

laugh　at　me　all　day　long。〃



Mary's　gaze　was　averted　from　Bibbs　now；　she　sat　with　her　elbow　resting　on　the

arm　of　the　chair；　her　lifted　hand　pressed　against　her　cheek。　　She　was　staring

at　the　wall；　and　her　eyes　had　a　burning　brightness　in　them。



〃It　doesn't　seem　possible　any　one　could　do　that　to　you；〃　she　said；　in　a　low

voice。　　〃No。　　He's　not　kind。　　He　ought　to　be　proud　to　help　you　to　the　leisure

to　write　books；　it　should　be　his　greatest　privilege　to　have　them　published　for

you〃



〃Can't　you　SEE　him？〃　Bibbs　interrupted；　a　faint　ripple　of　hilarity　in　his

voice。　　〃If　he　could　understand　what　you're　sayingand　if　you　can　imagine　his

taking　such　a　notion；　he's　have　had　R。　T。　Bloss　put　up　posters　all　over　the

country：　'Read　B。　Sheridan。　　Read　the　Poet　with　a　Punch！'　No。　It's　just　as

well　he　never　got　theBut　what's　the　use？　　I've　never　written　anything　worth

printing；　and　I　never　shall。〃



〃You　could！〃　she　said。



〃That's　because　you've　never　seen　the　poor　little　things　I've　tried　to　do。〃



〃You　wouldn't　let　me；　but　I　KNOW　you　could！　　Ah；　it's　a　pity！〃



〃It　isn't；〃　said　BIBBS；　honestly。　　〃I　never　couldbut　you're　the　kindest　lady

in　this　world；　Miss　Vertrees。〃



She　gave　him　a　flashing　glance；　and　it　was　as　kind　as　he　said　she　was。　〃That

sounds　wrong；〃　she　said；　impulsively。　　〃I　mean　'Miss　Vertrees。'　I've　thought

of　you　by　your　first　name　ever　since　I　met　you。　　Wouldn't　you　rather　call　me

'Mary'？〃



Bibbs　was　dazzled；　he　drew　a　long；　deep　breath　and　did　not　speak。



〃Wouldn't　you？〃　she　asked；　without　a　trace　of　coquetry。



〃If　I　CAN！〃　he　said；　in　a　low　voice。



〃Ah；　that's　very　pretty！〃　she　laughed。　　〃You're　such　an　honest　person；　it's

pleasant　to　have　you　gallant　sometimes；　by　way　of　variety。〃　　She　became　grave

again　immediately。　　〃I　hear　myself　laughing　as　if　it　were　some　one　else。　　It

sounds　like　laughter　on　the　eve　of　a　great　calamity。〃　She　got　up　restlessly；

crossed　the　room　and　leaned　against　the　wall；　facing　him。　　〃You've　GOT　to　go

back　to　that　place？〃



He　nodded。



〃And　the　other　time　you　did　it〃



〃Just　over　it；〃　said　Bibbs。　　〃Two　years。　　But　I　don't　mind　the　prospect　of　a

repetition　so　much　as〃



〃So　much　as　what？〃　she　prompted；　as　he　stopped。



Bibbs　looked　up　at　her　shyly。　　〃I　want　to　say　it；　butbut　I　come　to　a　dead

balk　when　I　try。　　I〃



〃Go　on。　　Say　it；　whatever　it　is；〃　she　bade　him。　　〃You　wouldn't　know　how　to　say

anything　I　shouldn't　like。〃



〃I　doubt　if　you'd　either　like　or　dislike　what　I　want　to　say；〃　he　returned；

moving　uncomfortably　in　his　chair　and　looking　at　his　feethe　seemed　to　feel

awkward；　thoroughly。　　〃You　see；　all　my　lifeuntil　I　met　youif　I　ever　felt

like　saying　anything；　I　wrote　it　instead。　　Saying　things　is　a　new　trick　for

me；　and　thiswell；　it's　just　this：　　I　used　to　feel　as　if　I　hadn't　ever　had

any　sort　of　a　life　at　all。　　I'd　never　been　of　use　to　anything　or　anybody；　and

I'd　never　had　anything；　myself；　except　a　kind　of　haphazard　thinking。　　But　now

it's　differentI'm　still　of　no　use　to　anybody；　and　I　don't　see　any　prospect

of　being　useful；　but　I　have　had　something　for　myself。　　I've　had　a　beautiful

and　happy　experience；　and　it　makes　my　life　seem　to　beI　mean　I'm　glad　I've

lived　it！　　That's　all；　it's　your　letting　me　be　near　you　sometimes；　as　you

have；　this　strange；　beautiful；　happy　little　while！〃



He　did　not　once　look　up；　and　reached　silence；　at　the　end　of　what　he　had　to

say；　with　his　eyes　still　awkwardly　regarding　his　feet。　　She　did　not　speak；　but

a　soft　rustling　of　her　garments　let　him　know　that　she　had　gone　back　to　her

chair　again。　　The　house　was　still；　the　shabby　old　room　was　so　quiet　that　the

sound　of　a　creaking　in　the　wall　seemed　sharp　and　loud。



And　yet；　when　Mary　spoke　at　last；　her　voice　was　barely　audible。　　〃If　you　think

it　has　beenhappyto　be　friends　with　meyou'd　want　toto　make　it　last。〃



〃Yes；〃　said　Bibbs；　as　faintly。



〃You'd　want　to　go　on　being　my　friend　as　long　as　we　live；　wouldn't　you？〃



〃Yes；〃　he　gulped。



〃But　you　make　that　kind　of　speech　to　me　because　you　think　it's　over。〃



He　tried　to　evade　her。　　〃Oh；　a　day…laborer　can't　come　in　his　overalls〃



〃No；〃　she　interrupted；　with　a　sudden　sharpness。　　〃You　said　what　you　did

because　you　think　the　shop's　going　to　kill　you。〃



〃No；　no！〃



〃Yes；　you　do　think　that！〃　　She　rose　to　her　feet　again　and　came　and　stood

before　him。　　〃Or　you　think　it's　going　to　send　you　back　to　the　sanitarium。

Don't　deny　it；　Bibbs。　　There！　　See　how　easily　I　call　you　that！　　You　see　I'm　a

friend；　or　I　couldn't　do　it。　　Well；　if　you　meant　what　you　said　and　you　did

mean　it；　I　know　it！you're　not　going　to　go　back　to　the　sanitarium。　　The　shop

sha'n't　hurt　you。　　It　sha'n't！〃



And　now　Bibbs　looked　up。　　She　stood　before　him；　straight　and　tall；　splendid　in

generous　strength；　her　eyes　shining　and　wet。



〃If　I　mean　THAT　much　to　you；〃　she　cried；　〃they　can't　harm　you！　　Go　back　to　the

shopbut　come　to　me　when　your　day's　work　is　done。　　Let　the　machines　crash

their　sixty…eight　times　a　minute；　but　remember　each　crash　that　deafens　you　is

that　much　nearer　the　evening　and　me！〃



He　stumbled　to　his　feet。　　〃You　say〃　he　gasped。



〃Every　evening；　dear　Bibbs！〃



He　could　only　stare；　bewildered。



〃EVERY　evening。　　I　want　you。　　They　sha'n't　hurt　you　again！〃　　And　she　held　out

her　hand　to　him；　it　was　strong　and　warm　in　his　tremulous　clasp。　　〃If　I　could；

I'd　go　and　feed　the　strips　of　zinc　to　the　machine　with　you；〃　she　said。　　〃But

all　day　long　I'll　send　my　thoughts　to　you。　　You　must　keep　remembering　that

your　friend　stands　beside　you。　　And　when　the　work　is　done　won't　the　night

make　up　for　the　day？〃



Light　seemed　to　glow　from　her；　he　was　blinded　by　that　radiance　of　kindness。

But　all　he　could　say　was；　huskily；　〃To　think　you're　there　with　mestanding

beside　the　old　zinc…eater〃



And　they　laughed　and　looked　at　each　other；　and　at　last　Bibbs　found　what　it

meant　not　to　be　alone　in　the　world。　　He　had　a　friend。





When　he　came　into　the　New　House；　a　few　minutes　later；　he　found　his　father

sitting　alone　by　the　library　fire。　　Bibbs　went　in　and　stood　before　him。　〃I'm

cured；　father；〃　he　said。　　〃When　do　I　go　back　to　the　shop？　　I'm　ready。〃



The　desolate　and　grim　old　man　did　not　relax。　　〃I　was　sittin'　up　to　give　you　a

last　chance　to　say　something　like　that。　　I　reckon　it's　about　time！　I　just

wanted　to　see　if　you'd　have　manhood　enough　not　to　make　me　take　you　over　there

by　the　collar。　　Last　night　I　made　up　my　mind　I'd　give　you　just　one　more　day。

Well；　you　got　to　it　before　I　didpretty　close　to　the　eleventh　hour！　　All

right。　　Start　in　to…morrow。　　It's　the　first　o'　the　month。　　Think　you　can　get

up　in　time？〃



〃Six　o'clock；〃　Bibbs　responded；　briskly。　　〃And　I　want　to　tell　youI'm　going

in　a　'cheerful　spirit。'　　As　you　said；　I'll　go　and　I'll　'like　it'！〃



〃That's　YOUR　lookout！〃　his　father　grunted。　　〃They'll　put　you　back　on　the

clippin'…machine。　　You　get　nine　dollars　a　week。〃



〃More　than　I'm　worth；　too；〃　said　Bibbs；　cheerily。　　〃That　reminds　me；　I　didn't

mean　YOU　by　'Midas'　in　that　nonsense　I'd　been　writing。　　I　meant〃



〃Makes　a　hell　of　a　lot　o'　difference　what　you　meant！〃



〃I　just　wanted　you　to　know。　　Good　night；　father。〃



〃G'night！〃



The　sound　of　the　young　man's　footsteps　ascending　the　stairs　became　inaudible；

and　the　house　was　quiet。　　But　presently；　as　Sheridan　sat　staring　angrily　at

the　fire；　the　shuffling　of　a　pair　of　slipers　could　be　heard　descending；　an