the turmoil-第30章

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〃No；〃　said　Bibbs；　earnestly。　　〃I　didn't；　either。　　I　might　have　said　　something

if　I'd　thought　of　anything。　　I'm　talking　now；　though；　I　must　　remember　that；

and　not　worry　about　it　later。　　I　think　I'm　talking；　though　　it　doesn't　sound

intelligent　even　to　me。　　I　made　up　my　mind　that　if　I　　ever　met　you　again　I'd

turn　on　my　voice　and　keep　it　going；　no　mater　what　　it　said。　　I〃



She　interrupted　him　with　laughter；　and　Mary　Vertrees's　laugh　was　one　　which

Bibbs's　father　had　declared；　after　the　house…warming；　〃a　cripple　　would　crawl

five　miles　to　hear。〃　　And　at　the　merry　lilting　of　it　Bibbs's　　father's　son

took　heart　to　forget　some　of　his　trepidation。　　〃I'll　be　any　　kind　of　idiot；〃

he　said；　〃if　you'll　laugh　at　me　some　more。　　It　won't　be　　difficult　for　me。〃



She　did；　and　Bibbs's　cheeks　showed　a　little　actual　color；　which　Mary

perceived。　　It　recalled　to　her；　by　contrast；　her　careless　and　irritated

description　of　him　to　her　mother　just　after　she　had　seen　him　for　the　　first

time。　　〃Rather　tragic　and　altogether　impossible。〃　　It　seemed　to　her　　now　that

she　must　have　been　blind。



They　had　passed　the　New　House　without　either　of　them　showingor

possessingany　consciousness　that　it　had　been　the　destination　of　one　　of

them。



〃I'll　keep　on　talking；〃　Bibbs　continued；　cheerfully；　〃and　you　keep　on

laughing。　　I'm　amounting　to　something　in　the　world　this　afternoon。　　I'm

making　a　noise；　and　that　makes　you　make　music。　　Don't　be　bothered　by　my

bleating　out　such　things　as　that。　　I'm　really　frightened；　and　that　makes　　me

bleat　anything。　　I'm　frightened　about　two　things：　I'm　afraid　of　what　　I'll

think　of　myself　later　if　I　don't　keep　talkingtalking　now；　I　mean　　and　I'm

afraid　of　what　I'll　think　of　myself　if　I　do。　　And　besides　　these　two　things；

I'm　frightened；　anyhow。　　I　don't　remember　talking　as　　much　as　this　more　than

once　or　twice　in　my　life。　　I　suppose　it　was　always　　in　me　to　do　it；　though；

the　first　time　I　met　any　one　who　didn't　know　me　　well　enough　not　to　listen。〃



〃But　you're　not　really　talking　to　me；〃　said　Mary。　　〃You're　just　thinking

aloud。〃



〃No；〃　he　returned；　gravely。　　〃I'm　not　thinking　at　all；　I'm　only　making　　vocal

sounds　because　I　believe　it's　more　mannerly。　　I　seem　to　be　the　　subject　of

what　little　meaning　they　possess；　and　I'd　like　to　change　it；　　but　I　don't　know

how。　　I　haven't　any　experience　in　talking；　and　I　don't　　know　how　to　manage

it。〃



〃You　needn't　change　the　subject　on　my　account；　Mr。　Sheridan；〃　she　said。　　　〃Not

even　if　you　really　talked　about　yourself。〃　　She　turned　her　face　　toward　him　as

she　spoke；　and　Bibbs　caught　his　breath；　he　was　pathetically　　amazed　by　the

look　she　gave　him。　　It　was　a　glowing　look；　warmly　friendly　　and　understanding；

and；　what　almost　shocked　him；　it　was　an　eagerly　　interested　look。　　Bibbs　was

not　accustomed　to　anything　like　that。



〃IyouII'm〃　he　stammered；　and　the　faint　color　in　his　cheeks　　grew

almost　vivid。



She　was　still　looking　at　him；　and　she　saw　the　strange　radiance　that　came　　into

his　face。　　There　was　something　about　him；　too；　that　explained　how　　〃queer〃

many　people　might　think　him；　but　he　did　not　seem　〃queer〃　to　Mary　　Vertrees；　he

seemed　the　most　quaintly　natural　person　she　had　ever　met。



He　waited；　and　became　coherent。　　〃YOU　say　something　now；〃　he　said。　　〃I　　don't

even　belong　in　the　chorus；　and　here　I　am；　trying　to　sing　the　funny　　man's

solo！　　You〃



〃No；〃　she　interrupted。　　〃I'd　rather　play　your　accompaniment。〃



〃I'll　stop　and　listen　to　it；　then。〃



〃Perhaps〃　she　began；　but　after　pausing　thoughtfully　she　made　a　gesture　　with

her　muff；　indicating　a　large　brick　church　which　they　were　　approaching。　　〃Do

you　see　that　church；　Mr。　Sheridan？〃



〃I　suppose　I　could；〃　he　answered　in　simple　truthfulness；　looking　at　her。

〃But　I　don't　want　to。　　Once；　when　I　was　ill；　the　nurse　told　me　I'd　better　　say

anything　that　was　on　my　mind；　and　I　got　the　habit。　　The　other　reason　　I　don't

want　to　see　the　church　is　that　I　have　a　feeling　it's　where　you're　　going；　and

where　I'll　be　sent　back。〃



She　shook　her　head　in　cheery　negation。　　〃Not　unless　you　want　to　be。　　　Would

you　like　to　come　with　me？〃



〃Whywhyyes；〃　he　said。　　〃Anywhere！〃　　And　again　it　was　apparent　　that　he

spoke　in　simple　truthfulness。



〃Then　comeif　you　care　for　organ　music。　　The　organist　is　an　old　friend　　of

mine；　and　sometimes　he　plays　for　me。　　He's　a　dear　old　man。　　He　had　a　　degree

from　Bonn；　and　was　a　professor　afterward；　but　he　gave　up　　everything　for

music。　　That's　he；　waiting　in　the　doorway。　　He　looks　like　　Beethoven；　doesn't

he？　　I　think　he　knows　that；　perhaps；　and　enjoys　it　a　　little。　　I　hope　so。〃



〃Yes；〃　said　Bibbs；　as　they　reached　the　church　steps。　　〃I　think　Beethoven

would　like　it；　too。　　It　must　be　pleasant　to　look　like　other　people。〃



〃I　haven't　kept　you？〃　Mary　said　to　the　organist。



〃No；　no；〃　he　answered；　heartily。　　〃I　would　not　mind　so　only　you　should　　shooer

come！〃



〃This　is　Mr。　Sheridan；　Dr。　Kraft。　　He　has　come　to　listen　with　me。〃



The　organist　looked　bluntly　surprised。　　〃Iss　that　SO？〃　he　exclaimed。　　　〃Well；

I　am　glad　if　you　wish　him；　and　if　he　can　stant　my　liddle　playink。　　　He　iss

musician　himself；　then；　of　course。〃



〃No；〃　said　Bibbs；　as　the　three　entered　the　church　together。　　〃II　　played

theI　tried　to　play〃　　Fortunately　he　checked　himself；　he　had　　been　about　to

offer　the　information　that　he　had　failed　to　master　the　　jews'…harp　in　his

boyhood。　　〃No；　I'm　not　a　musician；〃　he　contented　　himself　with　saying。



〃What？〃　Dr。　Kraft's　surprise　increased。　　〃Young　man；　you　are　fortunate！　　　I

play　for　Miss　Vertrees；　she　comes　always　alone。　　You　are　the　first。　　　You　are

the　first　one　EVER！〃



They　had　reached　the　head　of　the　central　aisle；　and　as　the　organist　　finished

speaking　Bibbs　stopped　short；　turning　to　look　at　Mary　Vertrees　　in　a　dazed　way

that　was　not　of　her　preceiving；　for；　though　she　stopped　　as　he　did；　her　gaze

followed　the　organist；　who　was　walking　away　from　　them　toward　the　front　of　the

church；　shaking　his　white　Beethovian　mane　　roguishly。



〃It's　false　pretenses　on　my　part；〃　Bibbs　said。　　〃You　mean　to　be　kind　to　　the

sick；　but　I'm　not　an　invalid　any　more。　　I'm　so　well　I'm　going　back　to　　work　in

a　few　days。　　I'd　better　leave　before　he　begins　to　play；　hadn't　　I？〃



〃No；〃　said　Mary；　beginning　to　walk　forward。　　〃Not　unless　you　don't　like　　great

music。〃



He　followed　her　to　a　seat　about　half…way　up　the　aisle　while　Dr。　Kraft

ascended　to　the　organ。　　It　was　an　enormous　one；　the　procession　of　pipes

ranging　from　long；　starveling　whistles　to　thundering　fat　guns；　they　　covered

all　the　rear　wall　of　the　church；　and　the　organist's　figure；　　reaching　its　high

perch；　looked　like　that　of　some　Lilliputian　magician　　ludicrously　daring　the

attempt　to　conrol　a　monster　certain　to　overwhelm　　him。



〃This　afternoon　some　Handel！〃　he　turned　to　shout。



Mary　nodded。　　〃Will　you　like　that？〃　she　asked　Bibbs。



〃I　don't　know。　　I　never　heard　any　except　'Largo。'　　I　don't　know　anything

about　music。　　I　don't　even　know　how　to　pretend　I　do。　　If　I　knew　enough　　to

pretend；　I　would。〃



〃No；〃　said　Mary；　looking　at　him　and　smiling　faintly；　〃you　wouldn't。〃



She　turned　away　as　a　great　sound　began　to　swim　and　tremble　in　the　air；　　the

hugh　empty　space　of　the　church　filled　with　it；　and　the　two　people　　listening

filled　with　it；　the　universe　seemed　to　fill　and　thrill　with　　it。　　The　two　sat

intensely　still；　the　great　sound　all　round　about　them；　　while　the　church　grew

dusky；　and　only　the　organist's　lamp　made　a　tiny　　star　of　light。　　His　white

head　moved　from　side　to　side　beneath　it　　rhythmically；　or　lunged　and　recovered

with　the　fierceness　of　a　duelist　　thrusting；　but　he　was　magnificently　the

master　of　his　giant；　and　it　sang　　to　his　magic　as　he　bade　it。



Bibbs　was　swept　away　upon　that　mighty　singing。　　Such　a　thing　was　wholly

unknown　to　him；　there　had　been　no　music　in　his　meager　life。　　Unlike　the　　tale；

it　was　the　Princess　Bedrulbudour　who　had　brought　him　to　the　　enchanted　cave；