the turmoil-第18章

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The　more　he　tries　it；　the　more　he　　hates　it；　and　the　more　he　hates　it；　the

more　injury　it　does　him。'　　That　　ain't　quite　his　words；　but　it's　what　he

meant。　　And　that's　about　the　way　　it　is。〃



〃Yes；〃　said　Bibbs；　〃that's　about　the　way　it　is。〃



〃Well；　then；　I　reckon　it's　up　to　me　not　only　to　make　you　do　it；　but　to　　make

you　like　it！〃



Bibbs　shivered。　　And　he　turned　upon　his　father　a　look　that　was　almost

ghostly。　　〃I　can't；〃　he　said；　in　a　low　voice。　　〃I　can't。〃



〃Can't　go　back　to　the　shop？〃



〃No。　Can't　like　it。　　I　can't。〃



Sheridan　jumped　up；　his　patience　gone。　　To　his　own　view；　he　had　reasoned

exhaustively；　had　explained　fully　and　had　pleaded　more　than　a　father　　should；

only　to　be　met　in　the　end　with　the　unreasoning　and　mysterious　　stubbornness

which　had　been　Bibbs's　baffling　characteristic　from　　childhood。　　〃By　George；

you　will！〃　he　cried。　　〃You'll　go　back　there　and　　you'll　like　it！　　Gurney　says

it　won't　hurt　you　if　you　like　it；　and　he　　says　it　'll　kill　you　if　you　go　back

and　hate　it；　so　it　looks　as　if　it　was　　about　up　to　you　not　to　hate　it。　　Well；

Gurney's　a　fool！　　Hatin'　work　　doesn't　kill　anybody；　and　this　isn't　goin'　to

kill　you；　whether　you　hate　　it　or　not。　　　I've　never　made　a　mistake　in　a

serious　matter　in　my　life；　　and　it　wasn't　a　mistake　my　sendin'　you　there　in

the　first　place。　　And　I'm　　goin'　to　prove　itI'm　goin'　to　send　you　back　there

and　vindicate　my　　judgment。　　Gurney　says　it's　all　'mental　attitude。'　　Well；

you're　goin'　to　　learn　the　right　one！　　He　says　in　a　couple　more　months　this

fool　thing　　that's　been　the　matter　with　you　'll　be　disappeared　completely　and

you'll　　be　back　in　as　good　or　better　condition　than　you　were　before　you　ever

went　　into　the　shop。　　And　right　then　is　when　you　begin　overright　in　that

same　shop！　　Nobody　can　call　me　a　hard　man　or　a　mean　father。　　I　do　the　　best　I

can　for　my　chuldern；　and　I　take　full　responsibility　for　bringin'　　my　sons　up

to　be　men。　　Now；　so　far；　I've　failed　with　you。　　But　I'm　not　　goin'　to　keep　ON

failin'。　　I　never　tackled　a　job　YET　I　didn't　put　　through；　and　I'm　not　goin'

to　begin　with　my　own　son。　　I'm　goin'　to　make　　a　MAN　of　you。　　By　God！　　I　am！〃



Bibbs　rose　and　went　slowly　to　the　door；　where　he　turned。　　〃You　say　you　　give

me　a　couple　of　months？〃　he　said。



Sheridan　pushed　a　bell…button　on　his　desk。　　〃Gurney　said　two　months　more

would　put　you　back　where　you　were。　　You　go　home　and　begin　to　get　yourself　　in

the　right　'mental　attitude'　before　those　two　months　are　up！　　Good…by！〃



〃Good…by；　sir；〃　said　Bibbs；　meekly。





Bibbs's　room；　that　neat　apartment　for　transients　to　which　the　〃lamidal〃

George　had　shown　him　upon　his　return；　still　bore　the　appearance　of　　temporary

quarters；　possibly　because　Bibbs　had　no　clear　conception　of　　himself　as　a

permanent　incumbent。　　However；　he　had　set　upon　the　　mantelpiece　the　two

photographs　that　he　owned：　one；　a　〃group〃　twenty　　years　oldhis　father　and

mother；　with　Jim　and　Roscoe　as　boysand　　the　other　a　〃cabinet〃　of　Edith　at

sixteen。　　And　upon　a　table　were　the　　books　he　had　taken　from　his　trunk：　Sartor

Resartus；　Virginibus　Puerisque；　　Huckleberry　Finn；　and　Afterwhiles。　　There

were　some　other　books　in　the　　trunka　large　one；　which　remained　unremoved　at

the　foot　of　the　bed；　　adding　to　the　general　impression　of　transiency。　　It

contained　nearly　all　　the　possessions　as　well　as　the　secret　life　of　Bibbs

Sheridan；　and　Bibbs　　sat　beside　it；　the　day　after　his　interview　with　his

father；　raking　over　a　　small　collection　of　manuscripts　in　the　top　tray。　　Some

of　these　he　　glanced　through　dubiously；　finding　little　comfort　in　them；　but

one　made　　him　smile。　　Then　he　shook　his　head　ruefully　indeed；　and　ruefully

began　to　　read　it。　　It　was　written　on　paper　stamped　〃Hood　Sanitarium；〃　and

bore　the　　title；　〃Leisure。〃



　　　　　A　man　may　keep　a　quiet　heart　at　seventy　miles　an　hour；　but　not　if　　he　is

running　the　train。　　Nor　is　the　habit　of　contemplation　a　useful　quality　　in　the

stoker　of　a　foundry　furnace；　it　will　not　be　found　to　recommend　him　to　　the

approbation　of　his　superiors。　　For　a　profession　adapted　solely　to　the　　pursuit

of　happiness　in　thinking；　I　would　choose　that　of　an　invalid：　his　　money　is

time　and　he　may　spend　it　on　Olympus。　　It　will　not　suffice　to　be　　an　amateur

invalid。　　To　my　way　of　thinking；　the　perfect　practitioner　must　be　to　all

outward　purposes　already　dead　if　he　is　to　begin　the　perfect　　enjoyment　of

life。　　His　serenity　must　not　be　disturbed　by　rumors　of　　recovery；　he　must　lie

serene　in　his　long　chair　in　the　sunshine。　The　world　　must　be　on　the　other　side

of　the　wall；　and　the　wall　must　be　so　thick　and　　so　high　that　he　cannot　hear

the　roaring　of　the　furnace　fires　and　the　　screaming　of　the　whistles。　　Peace



Having　read　so　far　as　the　word　〃peace；〃　Bibbs　suffered　an　interruption

interesting　as　a　coincidence　of　contrast。　　High　voices　sounded　in　the　　hall

just　outside　his　door；　and　it　became　evident　that　a　woman's　quarrel　　was　in

progress；　the　parties　to　it　having　begun　it　in　Edith's　room；　and　　continuing

it　vehemently　as　they　came　out　into　the　hall。



〃Yes；　you　BETTER　go　home！〃　Bibbs　heard　his　sister　vociferating；　shrilly。　　〃You

better　go　home　and　keep　your　mind　a　little　more　on　your　HUSBAND！〃



〃Edie；　Edie！〃　he　heard　his　mother　remonstrating；　as　peacemaker。



〃You　see　here！〃　　This　was　Sibyl；　and　her　voice　was　both　acrid　and　　tremulous。

〃Don't　you　talk　to　me　that　way！　　I　came　here　to　tell　Mother　　Sheridan　what　I'd

heard；　and　to　let　her　tell　Father　Sheridan　if　she　　thought　she　ought　to；　and　I

did　it　for　your　own　good。〃



〃Yes；　you　did！〃　　And　Edith's　gibing　laughter　tooted　loudly。　　〃Yes；　you　　did！

YOU　didn't　have　any　other　reason！　　OH　no！　　YOU　don't　want　to　break　　it　up

between　Bobby　Lamhorn　and　me　because〃



〃Edie；　Edie！　　Now；　now！〃



〃Oh；　hush　up；　mamma！　　I'd　like　to　know；　then；　if　she　says　her　new　friends

tell　her　he's　got　such　a　reputation　that　he　oughtn't　to　come　here；　what　　about

his　not　going　to　HER　house。　How〃



〃I've　explained　that　to　Mother　Sheridan。〃　　Sibyl's　voice　indicated　that　　she

was　descending　the　stairs。　　〃Married　people　are　not　the　same。　　Some　　things

that　should　be　shielded　from　a　young　girl〃



This　seemed　to　have　no　very　soothing　effect　upon　Edith。　　〃'Shielded　from　a

young　girl'！〃　she　shrilled。　　〃You　seem　pretty　willing　to　be　the　shield！　　　You

look　out　Roscoe　doesn't　notice　what　kind　of　a　shield　you　are！〃



Sibyl's　answer　was　inaudible；　but　Mrs。　Sheridan's　flurried　attempts　at

pacification　were　renewed。　　〃Now；　Edie；　Edie；　she　means　it　for　your　good；　　and

you'd　oughtn't　to〃



〃Oh；　hush　up；　mamma；　and　let　me　alone！　　If　you　dare　tell　papa〃



〃Now；　now！　　I'm　not　going　to　tell　him　to…day；　and　maybe〃



〃You've　got　to　promise　NEVER　to　tell　him！〃　the　girl　cried；　passionately。



〃Well；　we'll　see。　　You　just　come　back　in　your　own　room；　and　we'll〃



〃No！　　I　WON'T　'talk　it　over'！　　Stop　pulling　me！　　Let　me　ALONE！〃　　And　　Edith；

flinging　herself　violently　upon　Bibbs's　door；　jerked　it　open；　　swung　round　it

into　the　room；　slammed　the　door　behind　her；　and　threw　　herself；　face　down；

upon　the　bed　in　such　a　riot　of　emotion　that　she　had　　no　perception　of　Bibbs's

presence　in　the　room。　　Gasping　and　sobbing　in　a　　passion　of　tears；　she　beat

the　coverlet　and　pillows　with　her　clenched　　fists。　〃Sneak！〃　she　babbled　aloud。

〃Sneak！　Snake…in…the…grass！　　Cat！〃



Bibbs　saw　that　she　did　not　know　he　was　there；　and　he　went　softly　toward　　the

door；　hoping　to　get　away　before　she　became　aware　of　him；　but　some　　sound　of

his　movement　reached　her；　and　she　sat　up；　startled；　facing　him。



〃Bibbs！　　I　thought　I　saw　you　go　out　awhile　ago。〃



〃Yes。　　I　came　back；　though。　　I'm　sorry〃



〃Did　you　hear　me　quarreling　with　Sibyl？〃



〃Only　what　you　said　in　the　hall。　　You　lie　down　again；　Edith。　　I'm　going　　out。〃



〃No；　don't　go。〃　　She　applied　a　handkerchief　to　her　eyes；　emitted　a　sob；　　and

repeated　her　request。　　〃Don't　go。　　I　don't　mind　you；　you're　quiet；　　anyhow。

Mamma's　so　fussy；　and　never　gets　anywhere。