the turmoil-第17章

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the　ceiling　in　a　contemplation　somewhat　plaintive；　Sheridan　was　　impelled　to

groan。　　〃Oh；　Lord！〃　he　said。　　〃This　is　the　way　you　always　were。　I　don't

believe　you　understood　a　darn　word　I　been　sayin'！　　You　don't　LOOK　　as　if　you

did。　　By　George！　it's　discouraging！〃



〃I　don't　understand　about　gettingabout　getting　bigger；〃　said　Bibbs；

bringing　his　gaze　down　to　look　at　his　father　placatively。　　〃I　don't　see　　just

why〃



〃WHAT？〃　　Sheridan　leaned　forward；　resting　his　hands　upon　the　desk　and　　staring

across　it　incredulously　at　his　son。



〃I　don't　understandexactlywhat　you　want　it　all　bigger　for？〃



〃Great　God！〃　shouted　Sheridan；　and　struck　the　desk　a　blow　with　his　　clenched

fist。　　〃A　son　of　mine　asks　me　that！　　You　go　out　and　ask　the　　poorest

day…laborer　you　can　find！　　Ask　him　that　question〃



〃I　did　once；〃　Bibbs　interrupted；　〃when　I　was　in　the　machine…shop。　　I〃



〃Wha'd　he　say？〃



〃He　said；　'Oh；　hell！'〃　answered　Bibbs；　mildly。



〃Yes；　I　reckon　he　would！〃　Sheridan　swung　away　from　the　desk。　　〃I　reckon　　he

certainly　would！　　And　I　got　plenty　sympathy　with　him　right　now；　myself！〃



〃It's　the　same　answer；　then？〃　　Bibbs's　voice　was　serious；　almost　tremulous。



〃Damnation！〃　Sheridan　roared。　　〃Did　you　ever　hear　the　word　Prosperity；　　you

ninny？　　Did　you　ever　hear　the　word　Ambition？　　Did　you　ever　hear　the　　word

PROGRESS？〃



He　flung　himself　into　a　chair　after　the　outburst；　his　big　chest　surging；　　his

throat　tumultuous　with　gutteral　incoherences。　　〃Now　then；〃　he　said；　　huskily；

when　the　anguish　had　somewhat　abated；　〃what　do　you　want　to　do？〃



〃Sir？〃



〃What　do　you　WANT　to　do；　I　said。〃



Taken　by　surprise；　Bibbs　stammered。　　〃Whatwhat　doIwhat〃



〃If　I'd　let　you　do　exactly　what　you　had　the　whim　for；　what　would　you　do？〃



Bibbs　looked　startled；　then　timidity　overwhelmed　hima　profound　　shyness。　　He

bent　his　head　and　fixed　his　lowered　eyes　upon　the　toe　of　his　　shoe；　which　he

moved　to　and　fro　upon　the　rug；　like　a　culprit　called　to　　the　desk　in　school。



〃What　would　you　do？　　Loaf？〃



〃No；　sir。〃　　Bibbs's　voice　was　almost　inaudible；　and　what　little　sound　it　　made

was　unquestionably　a　guilty　sound。　　〃I　suppose　I'dI'd〃



〃Well？〃



〃I　suppose　I'd　try　toto　write。〃



〃Write　what？〃



〃Nothing　importantjust　poems　and　essays；　perhaps。〃



〃That　all？〃



〃Yes；　sir。〃



〃I　see；〃　said　his　father；　breathing　quickly　with　the　restraint　he　was　　putting

upon　himself。　　〃That　is；　you　want　to　write；　but　you　don't　want　to　　write

anything　of　any　account。〃



〃You　think〃



Sheridan　got　up　again。　　〃I　take　my　hat　off　to　the　man　that　can　write　a　　good

ad；〃　he　said；　emphatically。　　〃The　best　writin'　talent　in　this　　country　is

right　spang　in　the　ad　business　to…day。　　You　buy　a　magazine　for　　good

writin'look　on　the　back　of　it！　　Let　me　tell　you　I　pay　money　for　　that　kind

o'　writin'。　　Maybe　you　think　it's　easy。　　Just　try　it！　　I've　　tried　it；　and　I

can't　do　it。　　I　tell　you　an　ad's　got　to　be　written　so　it　　makes　people　do　the

hardest　thing　in　this　world　to　GET　'em　to　do：　it's　　got　to　make　'em　give　up

their　MONEY！　　You　talk　about　'poems　and　essays。'　　　I　tell　you　when　it　comes　to

the　actual　skill　o'　puttin'　words　together　so　　as　to　make　things　HAPPEN；　R。　T。

Bloss；　right　here　in　this　city；　knows　　more　in　a　minute　than　George　Waldo

Emerson　ever　knew　in　his　whole　life！〃



〃Youyou　may　be〃　Bibbs　said；　indistinctly；　the　last　word　smothered　　in　a

cough。



〃Of　COURSE　I'm　right！　　And　if　it　ain't　just　like　you　to　want　to　take　up　　with

the　most　out…o'…date　kind　o'　writin'　there　is！　'Poems　and　essays'！　　　My　Lord；

Bibbs；　that's　WOMEN'S　work！　　You　can't　pick　up　a　newspaper　　without　havin'　to

see　where　Mrs。　Rumskididle　read　a　paper　on　'Jane　Eyre；'　　or　'East　Lynne；'　at

the　God…Knows…What　Club。　　And　'poetry'！　　Why；　look　at　　Edith！　　I　expect　that

poem　o'　hers　would　set　a　pretty　high…water　mark　for　　you；　young　man；　and　it's

the　only　one　she's　ever　managed　to　write　in　her　　whole　LIFE！　　When　I　wanted

her　to　go　on　and　write　some　more　she　said　it　　took　too　much　time。　　Said　it

took　months　and　months。　　And　Edith's　a　smart　　girl；　she's　got　more　energy　in

her　little　finger　than　you　ever　give　me　a　　chance　to　see　in　your　whole　body；

Bibbs。　　Now　look　at　the　facts：　say　she　　could　turn　out　four　or　five　poems　a

year　and　you　could　turn　out　maybe　　two。　　That　medal　she　got　was　worth　about

fifteen　dollars；　so　there's　your　　incomethirty　dollars　a　year！　　That's　a

fine　success　to　make　of　your　　life！　　I'm　not　sayin'　a　word　against　poetry。　　I

wouldn't　take　ten　　thousand　dollars　right　now　for　that　poem　of　Edith's；　and

poetry's　all　　right　enough　in　its　placebut　you　leave　it　to　the　girls。　　A

man's　got　　to　do　a　man's　work　in　this　world！〃



He　seated　himself　in　a　chair　at　his　son's　side　and；　leaning　over；　tapped

Bibbs　confidentially　on　the　knee。　　〃This　city's　got　the　greatest　future　　in

America；　and　if　my　sons　behave　right　by　me　and　by　themselves　they're　　goin'　to

have　a　mighty　fair　share　of　ita　mighty　fair　share。　　I　love　　this　town。　　It's

God's　own　footstool；　and　it's　made　money　for　me　every　　day　right　along；　I

don't　know　how　many　years。　　I　love　it　like　I　do　my　own　　business；　and　I'd

fight　for　it　as　quick　as　I'd　fight　for　my　own　family。　　　It's　a　beautiful　town。

Look　at　our　wholesale　district；　look　at　any　　district　you　want　to；　look　at　the

park　system　we're　puttin'　through；　and　　the　boulevards　and　the　public

statuary。　　And　she　grows。　　God！　how　she　　grows！〃　　He　had　become　intensely

grave；　he　spoke　with　solemnity。　　〃Now；　　Bibbs；　　I　can't　take　any　of　itnor

any　gold　or　silver　nor　buildings　　nor　bondsaway　with　me　in　my　shroud　when　I

have　to　go。　　But　I　want　to　　leave　my　share　　in　it　to　my　boys。　　I've　worked　for

it；　I've　been　a　　builder　and　a　maker；　and　two　blades　of　grass　have　grown　where

one　grew　　before；　whenever　I　laid　my　hand　on　the　ground　and　willed　'em　to

grow。　　　I've　built　big；　and　I　want　the　buildin'　to　go　on。　　And　when　my　last

hour　　comes　I　want　to　know　that　my　boys　are　ready　to　take　charge；　that　they're

fit　to　take　charge　and　go　ON　with　it。　　Bibbs；　when　that　hour　comes　I　　want　to

know　that　my　boys　are　big　men；　ready　and　fit　to　hold　of　big　　things。　　Bibbs；

when　I'm　up　above　I　want　to　know　that　the　big　share　I've　　made　mine；　here

below；　is　growin'　bigger　and　bigger　in　the　charge　of　my　　boys。〃



He　leaned　back；　deeply　moved。　　〃There！〃　he　said；　huskily。　　〃I've　never　　spoken

more　what　was　in　my　heart　in　my　life。　　I　do　it　because　I　want　you　　to

understandand　not　think　me　a　mean　father。　　I　never　had　to　talk　　that　way　to

Jim　and　Roscoe。　　They　understood　without　any　talk；　Bibbs。〃



〃I　see；〃　said　Bibbs。　　〃At　least　I　think　I　do。　　But〃



〃Wait　a　minute！〃　　Sheridan　raised　his　hand。　　〃If　you　see　the　least　bit　in　　the

world；　then　you　understand　how　it　feels　to　me　to　have　my　son　set　here　　and

talk　about　'poems　and　essays'　and　such…like　fooleries。　　And　you　must

understand；　too；　what　it　meant　to　start　one　o'　my　boys　and　have　him　come　　back

on　me　the　way　you　did；　and　have　to　be　sent　to　a　sanitarium　because　　he

couldn't　stand　work。　　Now；　let's　get　right　down　to　it；　Bibbs。　　I've　　had　a

whole　lot　o'　talk　with　ole　Doc　Gurney　about　you；　one　time　another；　　and　I

reckon　I　understand　your　case　just　about　as　well　as　he　does；　　anyway！　　Now

here；　I'll　be　frank　with　you。　　I　started　you　in　harder　than　　what　I　did　the

other　boys；　and　that　was　for　your　own　good；　because　I　saw　　you　needed　to　be

shook　up　more'n　they　did。　　You　were　always　kind　of　moody　　and　mopishand　you

needed　work　that　'd　keep　you　on　the　jump。　　Now；　why　　did　it　make　you　sick

instead　of　brace　you　up　and　make　a　man　of　you　the　　way　it　ought　of　done？　　I

pinned　ole　Gurney　down　to　it。　　I　says；　'Look　　here；　ain't　it　really　because　he

just　plain　hated　it？'　'Yes；'　he　says；　　'that's　it。　　If　he'd　enjoyed　it；　it

wouldn't　'a'　hurt　him。　　He　loathes　it；　　and　that　affects　his　nervous　system

The　more　he　tries　it；　the　more　he　　hates　it；　and　the　more　he　hates　it；　the

more　injury　it　does　him。'　　That　　ain't　quite　his　wor