the turmoil-第13章

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it；　a　girl　could　fight　it　out　with　anybody；　couldn't　she？　　One　man　as　well　as

another？〃



〃Oh；　my　dear！　　I'm　sure　your　father　and　I〃



〃Yes；　yes；〃　said　Mary；　indulgently。　　〃I　don't　mean　you　and　papa。　　But　isn't　it

propinquity　that　makes　marriages？　　So　many　people　say　so；　there　must　be

something　in　it。〃



〃Mary；　I　can't　bear　for　you　to　talk　like　that。〃　　And　Mrs。　Vertrees　lifted

pleading　eyes　to　her　daughtereyes　that　begged　to　be　spared。　　〃It　sounds

almost　reckless！〃



Mary　caught　the　appeal；　came　to　her；　and　kissed　her　gaily。　　〃Never　fret；　dear！

I'm　not　likely　to　do　anything　I　don't　want　to　doI've　always　been　too

thorough…going　a　little　pig！　　And　if　it　IS　propinquity　that　does　our　choosing

for　us；　well；　at　least　no　girl　in　the　world　could　ask　for　more　than　THAT！　How

could　there　be　any　more　propinquity　than　the　very　house　next　door？〃



She　gave　her　mother　a　final　kiss　and　went　gaily　all　the　way　to　the　door　this

time；　pausing　for　her　postscript　with　her　hand　on　the　knob。　　〃Oh；　the　one　that

caught　me　looking　in　the　window；　mamma；　the　youngest　one〃



〃Did　he　speak　of　it？〃　Mrs。　Vertrees　asked；　apprehensively。



〃No。　　He　didn't　speak　at　all；　that　I　saw；　to　any　one。　　I　didn't　meet　him。　But

he　isn't　insane；　I'm　sure；　or　if　he　is；　he　has　long　intervals　when　he's　not。

Mr。　James　Sheridan　mentioned　that　he　lived　at　home　when　he　was　'well　enough'；

and　it　may　be　he's　only　an　invalid。　　He　looks　dreadfully　ill；　but　he　has

pleasant　eyes；　and　it　struck　me　that　ifif　one　were　in　the　Sheridan

family〃she　laughed　a　little　ruefully〃he　might　be　interesting　to　talk　to

sometimes；　when　there　was　too　much　stocks　and　bonds。　　I　didn't　see　him　after

dinner。〃



〃There　must　be　something　wrong　with　him；〃　said　Mrs。　Vertrees。　　〃They'd　have

introduced　him　if　there　wasn't。〃



〃I　don't　know。　　He's　been　ill　so　much　and　away　so　muchsometimes　people　like

that　just　don't　seem　to　'count'　in　a　family。　　His　father　spoke　of　sending　him

back　to　a　machine…shop　or　some　sort；　I　suppose　he　meant　when　the　poor　thing

gets　better。　　I　glanced　at　him　just　then；　when　Mr。　Sheridan　mentioned　him；　and

he　happened　to　be　looking　straight　at　me；　and　he　was　pathetic…looking　enough

before　that；　but　the　most　tragic　change　came　over　him。　He　seemed　just　to　die；

right　there　at　the　table！〃



〃You　mean　when　his　father　spoke　of　sending　him　to　the　shop　place？〃



〃Yes。〃



〃Mr。　Sheridan　must　be　very　unfeeling。〃



〃No；〃　said　Mary；　thoughtfully；　〃I　don't　think　he　is；　but　he　might　be

uncomprehending；　and　certainly　he's　the　kind　of　man　to　do　anything　he　once

sets　out　to　do。　　But　I　wish　I　hadn't　been　looking　at　that　poor　boy　just　then！

I'm　afraid　I'll　keep　remembering〃



〃I　wouldn't。〃　　Mrs。　Vertrees　smiled　faintly；　and　in　her　smile　there　was　the

remotest　ghost　of　a　genteel　roguishness。　　〃I'd　keep　my　mind　on　pleasanter

things；　Mary。〃



Mary　laughed　and　nodded。　　〃Yes；　indeed！　　Plenty　pleasant　enough；　and　probably；

if　all　were　known；　too　goodeven　for　me！〃



And　when　she　had　gone　Mrs。　Vertrees　drew　a　long　breath；　as　if　a　burden　were

off　her　mind；　and；　smiling；　began　to　undress　in　a　gentle　reverie。





Edith；　glancing　casually　into　the　〃ready…made〃　library；　stopped　abruptly；

seeing　Bibbs　there　alone。　　He　was　standing　before　the　pearl…framed　and　golden…

lettered　poem；　musingly　inspecting　it。　　He　read　it：





　　　　　　　　　　　Fugitive

　　　　　　　　I　will　forget　the　things　that　sting：

　　　　　　　　　　The　lashing　look；　the　barbed　word。

　　　　　　　　I　know　the　very　hands　that　fling

　　　　　　　　　　The　stones　at　me　had　never　stirred

　　　　　　　　To　anger　but　for　their　own　scars。

　　　　　　　　　　They've　suffered　so；　that's　why　they　strike。

　　　　　　　　I'll　keep　my　heart　among　the　stars

　　　　　　　　　　Where　none　shall　hunt　it　out。　　Oh；　like

　　　　　　　　These　wounded　ones　I　must　not　be；

　　　　　　　　　　For；　wounded；　I　might　strike　in　turn！

　　　　　　　　So；　none　shall　hurt　me。　　Far　and　free

　　　　　　　　　　Where　my　heart　flies　no　one　shall　learn。



〃Bibbs！〃　Edith's　voice　was　angry；　and　her　color　deepened　suddenly　as　she　came

into　the　room；　preceded　by　a　scent　of　violets　much　more　powerful　than　that

warranted　by　the　actual　bunch　of　them　upon　the　lapel　of　her　coat。



Bibbs　did　not　turn　his　head；　but　wagged　it　solemnly；　seeming　depressed　by　the

poem。　　〃Pretty　young；　isn't　it？〃　he　said。　　〃There　must　have　been　something

about　your　looks　that　got　the　prize；　Edith；　I　can't　believe　the　poem　did　it。〃



She　glanced　hurriedly　over　her　shoulder　and　spoke　sharply；　but　in　a　low　voice：

〃I　don't　think　it's　very　nice　of　you　to　bring　it　up　at　all；　Bibbs。　I'd　like　a

chance　to　forget　the　whole　silly　business。　　I　didn't　want　them　to　frame　it；

and　I　wish　to　goodness　papa'd　quit　talking　about　it；　but　here；　that　night；

after　the　dinner；　didn't　he　go　and　read　it　aloud　to　the　whole　crowd　of　'em！

And　then　they　all　wanted　to　know　what　other　poems　I'd　written　and　why　I　didn't

keep　it　up　and　write　some　more；　and　if　I　didn't；　why　didn't　I；　and　why　this

and　why　that；　till　I　thought　I'd　die　of　shame！〃



〃You　could　tell　'em　you　had　writer's　cramp；〃　Bibbs　suggested。



〃I　couldn't　tell　'em　anything！　　I　just　choke　with　mortification　every　time

anybody　speaks　of　the　thing。〃



Bibbs　looked　grieved。　　〃The　poem　isn't　THAT　bad；　Edith。　　You　see；　you　were

only　seventeen　when　you　wrote　it。〃



〃Oh；　hush　up！〃　she　snapped。　　〃I　wish　it　had　burnt　my　fingers　the　first　time　I

touched　it。　　Then　I　might　have　had　sense　enough　to　leave　it　where　it　was。　　I

had　no　business　to　take　it；　and　I've　been　ashamed〃



〃No；　no；〃　he　said；　comfortingly。　　〃It　was　the　very　most　flattering　thing　ever

happen　to　me。　　It　was　almost　my　last　flight　before　I　went　to　the　machine…shop；

and　it's　pleasant　to　think　somebody　liked　it　enough　to〃



〃But　I　DON'T　like　it！〃　she　exclaimed。　　〃I　don't　even　understand　itand　papa

made　so　much　fuss　over　its　getting　the　prize；　I　just　hate　it！　　The　truth　is　I

never　dreamed　it　'd　get　the　prize。〃



〃Maybe　they　expected　father　to　endow　the　school；〃　Bibbs　murmered。



〃Well；　I　had　to　have　something　to　turn　in；　and　I　couldn't　write　a　LINE！　　I

hate　poetry；　anyhow；　and　Bobby　Lamhorn's　always　teasing　me　about　how　I　'keep

my　heart　among　the　stars。'　　He　makes　it　seem　such　a　mushy　kind　of　thing；　the

way　he　says　it。　　I　hate　it！〃



〃You'll　have　to　live　it　down；　Edith。　　Perhaps　abroad　and　under　another　name

you　might　find〃



〃Oh；　hush　up！　　I'll　hire　some　one　to　steal　it　and　burn　it　the　first　chance　I

get。〃　　She　turned　away　petulantly；　moving　to　the　door。　　〃I'd　like　to　think　I

could　hope　to　hear　the　last　of　it　before　I　die！〃



〃Edith！〃　he　called；　as　she　went　into　the　hall。



〃What's　the　matter？〃



〃I　want　to　ask　you：　Do　I　really　look　better；　or　have　you　just　got　used　to　me？〃



〃What　on　earth　do　you　mean？〃　she　said；　coming　back　as　far　as　the　threshold。



〃When　I　first　came　you　couldn't　look　at　me；〃　Bibbs　explained；　in　his

impersonal　way。　　〃But　I've　noticed　you　look　at　me　lately。　　I　wondered　if

I'd〃



〃It's　because　you　look　so　much　better；〃　she　told　him；　cheerfully。　　〃This　month

you've　been　here's　done　you　no　end　of　good。　　It's　the　change。〃



〃Yes；　that's　what　they　said　at　the　sanitariumthe　change。〃



〃You　look　worse　than　'most　anybody　I　ever　saw；〃　said　Edith；　with　supreme

candor。　　〃But　I　don't　know　much　about　it。　　I've　never　seen　a　corpse　in　my

life；　and　I've　never　even　seen　anybody　that　was　terribly　sick；　so　you　mustn't

judge　by　me。　　I　only　know　you　do　look　better；　I'm　glad　to　say。　　But　you're

right　about　my　not　being　able　to　look　at　you　at　first。　　You　had　a　kind　of

whiteness　thatWell；　you're　almost　as　thin；　I　suppose；　but　you've　got　more

just　ordinarily　pale；　not　that　ghastly　look。　　Anybody　could　look　at　you　now；

Bibbs；　and　nonot　get〃



〃Sick？〃



〃Wellalmost　that！〃　she　laughed。　　〃And　you're　getting　a　better　color　every

day；　Bibbs；　you　really　are。　　You're　getting　along　splendidly。〃



〃II'm　afraid　so；〃　he　said；　ruefully。



〃'Afraid　so'！　　Well；　if　you　aren't　the　queerest！　　I　suppose　you　mean　father

mi