louis lambert-第25章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
of love in one。 The grace of your least gesture is always new to
me。 I fancy I could spend whole nights breathing your breath； I
would I could steal into every detail of your life； be the very
substance of your thoughtsbe your very self。
〃Well； we shall； at any rate； never part again！ No human alloy
shall ever disturb our love； infinite in its phases and as pure as
all things are which are Oneour love； vast as the sea； vast as
the sky！ You are mine！ all mine！ I may look into the depths of
your eyes to read the sweet soul that alternately hides and shines
there； to anticipate your wishes。
〃My best…beloved； listen to some things I have never yet dared to
tell you； but which I may confess to you now。 I felt a certain
bashfulness of soul which hindered the full expression of my
feelings； so I strove to shroud them under the garbs of thoughts。
But now I long to lay my heart bare before you； to tell you of the
ardor of my dreams； to reveal the boiling demands of my senses；
excited； no doubt； by the solitude in which I have lived；
perpetually fired by conceptions of happiness； and aroused by you；
so fair in form； so attractive in manner。 How can I express to you
my thirst for the unknown rapture of possessing an adored wife； a
rapture to which the union of two souls by love must give frenzied
intensity。 Yes； my Pauline； I have sat for hours in a sort of
stupor caused by the violence of my passionate yearning； lost in
the dream of a caress as though in a bottomless abyss。 At such
moments my whole vitality； my thoughts and powers； are merged and
united in what I must call desire； for lack of a word to express
that nameless delirium。
〃And I may confess to you now that one day； when I would not take
your hand when you offered it so sweetlyan act of melancholy
prudence that made you doubt my loveI was in one of those fits
of madness when a man could commit a murder to possess a woman。
Yes； if I had felt the exquisite pressure you offered me as
vividly as I heard your voice in my heart； I know not to what
lengths my passion might not have carried me。 But I can be silent；
and suffer a great deal。 Why speak of this anguish when my visions
are to become realities？ It will be in my power now to make life
one long love…making！
〃Dearest love； there is a certain effect of light on your black
hair which could rivet me for hours； my eyes full of tears； as I
gazed at your sweet person； were it not that you turn away and
say； 'For shame； you make me quite shy！'
〃To…morrow； then； our love is to be made known！ Oh； Pauline！ the
eyes of others； the curiosity of strangers； weigh on my soul。 Let
us go to Villenoix； and stay there far from every one。 I should
like no creature in human form to intrude into the sanctuary where
you are to be mine； I could even wish that； when we are dead； it
should cease to existshould be destroyed。 Yes； I would fain hide
from all nature a happiness which we alone can understand； alone
can feel； which is so stupendous that I throw myself into it only
to dieit is a gulf！
〃Do not be alarmed by the tears that have wetted this page； they
are tears of joy。 My only blessing； we need never part again！〃
In 1823 I traveled from Paris to Touraine by /diligence/。 At Mer we
took up a passenger for Blois。 As the guard put him into that part of
the coach where I had my seat； he said jestingly：
〃You will not be crowded； Monsieur Lefebvre！〃I was； in fact； alone。
On hearing this name； and seeing a white…haired old man； who looked
eighty at least； I naturally thought of Lambert's uncle。 After a few
ingenious questions； I discovered that I was not mistaken。 The good
man had been looking after his vintage at Mer； and was returning to
Blois。 I then asked for some news of my old 〃chum。〃 At the first word；
the old priest's face； as grave and stern already as that of a soldier
who has gone through many hardships； became more sad and dark； the
lines on his forehead were slightly knit； he set his lips； and said；
with a suspicious glance：
〃Then you have never seen him since you left the College？〃
〃Indeed； I have not；〃 said I。 〃But we are equally to blame for our
forgetfulness。 Young men； as you know； lead such an adventurous and
storm…tossed life when they leave their school…forms； that it is only
by meeting that they can be sure of an enduring affection。 However； a
reminiscence of youth sometimes comes as a reminder； and it is
impossible to forget entirely； especially when two lads have been such
friends as we were。 We went by the name of the Poet…and…Pythagoras。〃
I told him my name； when he heard it； the worthy man grew gloomier
than ever。
〃Then you have not heard his story？〃 said he。 〃My poor nephew was to
be married to the richest heiress in Blois； but the day before his
wedding he went mad。〃
〃Lambert！ Mad！〃 cried I in dismay。 〃But from what cause？ He had the
finest memory； the most strongly…constituted brain； the soundest
judgment； I ever met with。 Really a great geniuswith too great a
passion for mysticism perhaps； but the kindest heart in the world。
Something most extraordinary must have happened？〃
〃I see you knew him well；〃 said the priest。
From Mer； till we reached Blois； we talked only of my poor friend；
with long digressions； by which I learned the facts I have already
related in the order of their interest。 I confessed to his uncle the
character of our studies and of his nephew's predominant ideas； then
the old man told me of the events that had come into Lambert's life
since our parting。 From Monsieur Lefebvre's account； Lambert had
betrayed some symptoms of madness before his marriage； but they were
such as are common to men who love passionately； and seemed to me less
startling when I knew how vehement his love had been and when I saw
Mademoiselle de Villenoix。 In the country； where ideas are scarce； a
man overflowing with original thought and devoted to a system； as
Louis was； might well be regarded as eccentric； to say the least。 His
language would； no doubt； seem the stranger because he so rarely
spoke。 He would say； 〃That man does not dwell in heaven；〃 where any
one else would have said； 〃We are not made on the same pattern。〃 Every
clever man has his own quirks of speech。 The broader his genius； the
more conspicuous are the singularities which constitute the various
degrees of eccentricity。 In the country an eccentric man is at once
set down as half mad。
Hence Monsieur Lefebvre's first sentences left me doubtful of my
schoolmate's insanity。 I listened to the old man； but I criticised his
statements。
The most serious symptom had supervened a day or two before the
marriage。 Louis had had some well…marked attacks of catalepsy。 He had
once remained motionless for fifty…nine hours； his eyes staring；
neither speaking nor eating； a purely nervous affection； to which
persons under the influence of violent passion are liable； a rare
malady； but perfectly well known to the medical faculty。 What was
really extraordinary was that Louis should not have had several
previous attacks； since his habits of rapt thought and the character
of his mind would predispose him to them。 But his temperament；
physical and mental； was so admirably balanced； that it had no doubt
been able to resist the demands on his strength。 The excitement to
which he had been wound up by the anticipation of acute physical
enjoyment； enhanced by a chaste life and a highly…strung soul； had no
doubt led to these attacks； of which the results are as little known
as the cause。
The letters that have by chance escaped destruction show very plainly
a transition from pure idealism to the most intense sensualism。
Time was when Lambert and I had admired this phenomenon of the human
mind； in which he saw the fortuitous separation of our two natures；
and the signs of a total removal of the inner man； using its unknown
faculties under the operation of an unknown cause。 This disorder； a
mystery as deep as that of sleep； was connected with the scheme of
evidence which Lambert had set forth in his /Treatise on the Will/。
And when M
