the cost-第3章
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Pauline's face was pale。 Her hands； in her lap； were gripping her little handkerchief。
〃You don't say that； tooyou don't say ‘never'？〃
She raised her eyes to his and their look thrilled through and through him。 〃Yes； John； I say ‘never'I'll NEVER give you up。〃
All the decent instincts in his nature showed in his handsome face； in which time had not as yet had the chance clearly to write character。 〃No wonder I love youthere never was anybody so brave and so true as you。 But you must help me。 I must see you and talk to youonce in a while； anyhow。〃
Pauline flushed painfully。
〃Not tilltheylet meor I'm older； John。 They've always trusted me and left me free。 And I can't deceive them。〃
He liked thisit was another proof that she was； through and through； the sort of woman who was worthy to be his wife。
〃Wellwe'll wait；〃 he said。 〃And if they won't be fair to us； why； we'll have a right to do the best we can。〃 He gave her a tragic look。
〃I've set my heart on you； Polly； and I never can stand it not to get what I've set my heart on。 If I lost you； I'd go straight to ruin。〃
She might have been a great deal older and wiser and still not have seen in this a confirmation of her father's judgment of her lover。 And her parents had unconsciously driven her into a mental state in which； if he had committed a crime； it would have seemed to her their fault rather than his。 The next day she opened the subject with her motherthe subject that was never out of their minds。
〃I can't forget him； mother。 I CAN'T give him up。〃 With the splendid confidence of youth； 〃I can save himhe'll do anything for my sake。〃 With the touching ignorance of youth； 〃He's done nothing so very dreadful； I'm sureI'd believe him against the whole world。〃
And in the evening her mother approached her father。 She was in sympathy with Pauline； though her loyalty to her husband made her careful not to show it。 She had small confidence in a man's judgments of men on their woman…side； great confidence in the power of women to change and uplift men。
〃Father；〃 said she； when they were alone on the side porch after supper； 〃have you noticed how hard Polly is taking IT？〃
His eyes and the sudden deepening of the lines in his face answered her。
〃Don't you think maybe we've been a littletoosevere？〃
〃I've tried to think so； but〃 He shook his head。 〃Maggie； he's hopeless； hopeless。〃
〃I don't know much about those things。〃 This was a mere form of speech。 She thought she knew all there was to be known； and as she was an intelligent woman who had lived a long time and had a normal human curiosity she did know a great deal。 But； after the fashion of many of the women of the older generation； she had left undisturbed his delusion that her goodness was the result not of intelligence but of ignorance。 〃But I can't help fearing it isn't right to condemn a young man forever because he was led away as a boy。〃
〃I can't discuss it with you； Maggieit's a degradation even to speak of him before a good woman。 You must rely upon my judgment。 Polly must put him out of her head。〃
〃But what am I to tell her？ You can't make a woman like our Pauline put a man out of her life when she loves him unless you give her a reason that satisfies her。 And if you don't give ME a reason that satisfies me how can I give HER a reason that will satisfy her？〃
〃I'll talk to her；〃 said the colonel； after a long pause。 〃She mustshe shall give him up； mother。〃
〃I've tried to persuade her to go to visit Olivia；〃 continued Mrs。 Gardiner。 〃But she won't。 And she doesn't want me to ask Olivia here。〃
〃I'll ask Olivia before I speak to her。〃
Mrs。 Gardiner went up to her daughter's roomit had been her play…room； then her study； and was now graduated into her sitting…room。 She was dreaming over a bookTennyson's poems。 She looked up； eyes full of hope。
〃He has some good reason； dear；〃 began her mother。
〃What is it？〃 demanded Pauline。
〃I can't tell you any more than I've told you already；〃 replied her mother； trying not to show her feelings in her face。
〃Why does he treat metreat youlike two naughty little children？〃 said Pauline； impatiently tossing the book on the table。
〃Pauline！〃 Her mother's voice was sharp in reproof。 〃How can you place any one before your father！〃
Pauline was silentshe had dropped the veil over herself。 〃IIwhere did you place fatherwhenwhen〃 Her eyes were laughing again。
〃You know he'd never oppose your happiness； Polly。〃 Mrs。 Gardiner was smoothing her daughter's turbulent red…brown hair。 〃You'll only have to wait under a little more trying circumstances。 And if he's right； the truth will come out。 And if he's mistaken and John's all you think him； then that will come out。〃
Pauline knew her father was not opposing her through tyranny or pride of opinion or sheer prejudice； but she felt that this was another case of age's lack of sympathy with youth； felt it with all the intensity of infatuated seventeen made doubly determined by opposition and concealment。 The next evening he and she were walking together in the garden。 He suddenly put his arm round her and drew her close to him and kissed her。
〃You know I shouldn't if I didn't think it the only coursedon't you； Pauline？〃 he said in a broken voice that went straight to her heart。
〃Yes； father。〃 Then； after a silence： 〃Butwewe've been sweethearts since we were children。 AndIfather； I MUST stand by him。〃
〃Won't you trust me； child？ Won't you believe ME rather than him？〃
Pauline's only answer was a sigh。 They loved each the other； he adored her； she reverenced him。 But between them； thick and high； rose the barrier of custom and training。 Comradeship； confidence were impossible。
II。
OLIVIA TO THE RESCUE。
With the first glance into Olivia's dark gray eyes Pauline ceased to resent her as an intruder。 And soon she was feeling that some sort of dawn was assailing her night。
Olivia was the older by three years。 She seemedand for her years； wasserious and wise because； as the eldest of a large family； she was lieutenant…general to her mother。 Further； she had always had her own waywhen it was the right way and did not conflict with justice to her brothers and sisters。 And often her parents let her have her own way when it was the wrong way； nor did they spoil the lesson by mitigating disagreeable consequences。
〃Do as you please；〃 her mother used to say； when doing as she pleased would involve less of mischief than of valuable experience； 〃and perhaps you'll learn to please to do sensibly。〃 Again。 her father would restrain her mother from interference〃Oh； let the girl alone。 She's got to teach herself how to behave； and she can't begin a minute too young。〃 This training had produced a self…reliant and self…governing Olivia。
She wondered at the change in PaulinePauline； the light…hearted； the effervescent of laughter and life； now silent and almost somber。 It was two weeks before she； not easily won to the confiding mood for all her frankness； let Olivia into her secret。 Of course； it was at night； of course； they were in the same bed。 And when Olivia had heard she came nearer to the truth about Dumont than had Pauline's mother。 But； while she felt sure there was a way to cure Pauline； she knew that way was not the one which had been pursued。 〃They've only made her obstinate；〃 she thought； as she； lying with hands clasped behind her head； watched Pauline； propped upon an elbow； staring with dreamful determination into the moonlight。
〃It'll come out all right；〃 she said； her voice always suggested that she knew what she was talking about。 〃Your father'll give in sooner or laterif YOU don't change。〃
〃But he's so bitter against Jack；〃 replied Pauline。 〃He won't listen to his sideto our sideof it。〃
〃Anyhow； what's the use of anticipating trouble？ You wouldn't get married yet。 And if he's worthwhile he'll wait。〃
Pauline had been even gentler than her own judgment in painting her lover for her cousin's inspection。 So； she could not explain to her why there was necessity for haste； could not confess her conviction that every month he lived away from her was a month of peril to him。
〃W
