the cost-第27章

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〃Just　think；　John！　　Instead　of　giving　out　in　these　charities　and　philanthropiesI　never　did　believe　in　themthey're　bound　to　be　more　or　less　degrading　to　the　people　that　take；　and　when　it's　so　hard　to　help　a　friend　with　money　without　harming　him；　how　much　harder　it　must　be　to　help　strangers。　　Instead　of　those　things；　why　not　be　really　great？　　Just　think；　John；　how　the　world　would　honor　you　and　how　you　would　feel；　if　you　used　your　genius　to　make　the　necessaries　cheap　for　all　these　fellow…beings　of　ours　who　have　such　a　hard　time　getting　on。　　That　would　be　real　superiorityand　our　life　now　is　so　vain；　so　empty。　　It's　brutal；　John。〃

〃What　do　you　propose？〃　he　asked；　curious　as　always　when　a　new　idea　was　presented　to　him。　　And　this　was　certainly　newapparently；　philanthropy　without　expense。

〃You　are　master。　　You　can　do　as　you　please。　　Why　not　put　your　great　combine　on　such　a　basis　that　it　would　bring　an　honest；　just　return　to　you　and　the　others；　and　would　pay　the　highest　possible　wages；　and　would　give　the　people　the　benefit　of　what　your　genius　for　manufacturing　and　for　finance　has　made　possible？　　I　think　we　who　are　so　comfortable　and　never　have　to　think　of　the　necessaries　of　life　forget　how　much　a　few　cents　here　and　there　mean　to　most　people。　　And　the　things　you　control　mean　all　the　difference　between　warmth　and　cold；　between　life　and　death；　John！〃

As　she　talked　he　settled　back　into　his　chair；　and　his　face　hardened　into　its　unyielding　expression。　　A　preposterous　project！　　Just　like　a　good；　sentimental　woman。　　Not　philanthropy　without　expense；　but　philanthropy　at　the　expense　both；　of　his　fortune　and　of　his　position　as　a　master。　　To　use　his　brain　and　his　life　for　those　ungrateful　people　who　derided　his　benefactions　as　either　contributions　to　〃the　conscience　fund〃　or　as　indirect　attempts　at　public　bribery！　　He　could　not　conceal　his　impatiencethough　he　did　not　venture　to　put　it　into　words。

〃If　weif　you　and　I；　John；〃　she　hurried　on；　leaning　toward　him　in　her　earnestness；　〃had　something　like　that　to　live　for；　it　might　come　to　be　very　different　with　usandI'm　thinking　of　Gardiner　most　of　all。　　This'll　ruin　him　some　day。　　No　one；　NO　ONE；　can　lead　this　kind　of　life　without　being　dragged　down；　without　becoming　selfish　and　sordid　and　cruel。〃

〃You　don't　understand；〃　he　said　curtly；　without　looking　at　her。　　〃I　never　heard　of　suchsuch　sentimentalism。〃

She　winced　and　was　silent；　sat　watching　his　bold；　strong　profile。　　Presently　she　said　in　a　changed；　strange；　strained　voice：　　〃What　I　asked　to　see　you　for　wasJohn；　won't　you　put　the　pricesat　least　where　they　were　at　the　beginning　of　this　dreadful　winter？〃

〃OhI　see！〃　he　exclaimed。　　〃You've　been　listening　to　the　lies　about　me。〃

〃READING；〃　she　said；　her　eyes　flashing　at　the　insult　in　the　accusation　that　she　had　let　people　attack　him　to　her。

〃Well；　reading　then；〃　he　went　on；　wondering　what　he　had　said　that　angered　her。　　And　he　made　an　elaborate　explanationabout　〃the　necessity　of　meeting　fixed　charges〃　which　he　himself　had　fixed；　about　〃fair　share　of　prosperity；〃　〃everything　more　expensive；〃　〃the　country　better　able　to　pay；〃　〃every　one　doing　as　we　are；〃　and　so　on。

She　listened　closely；　she　had　not　come　ignorant　of　the　subject；　and　she　penetrated　his　sophistries。　　When　he　saw　her　expression；　saw　he　had　failed　to　convince　her；　into；　his　eyes　came　the　look　she　understood　wellthe　look　that　told　her　she　would　only　infuriate　him　and　bruise　herself　by　flinging　herself　against　the　iron　of　his　resolve。

〃You　must　let　me　attend　to　my　own　business；〃　he　ended；　his　tone　good…natured；　his　eyes　hard。

She　sat　staring　into　the　fire　for　several　minutesfrom　her　eyes　looked　a　will　as　strong　as　his。　　Then　she　rose　and；　her　voice　lower　than　before　but　vibrating；　said：　　〃All　round　ushere　in　New　Yorkall　over　this　countryaway　off　in　EuropeI　can　see　themI　can　feel　themSUFFERING！　　As　you　yourself　said；　it's　HORRIBLY　cold！〃　　She　drew　herself　up　and　faced　him；　a　light　in　her　eyes　before　which　he　visibly　shrank。　　〃Yes；　it's　YOUR　business。　　But　it　shan't　be　mine　or　MY　boy's！〃

And　she　left　the　room。　　In　the　morning　she　returned　to　Dawn　Hill　and　arranged　her　affairs　so　that　she　would　be　free　to　go。　　Not　since　the　spring　day；　nearly　nine　years　before；　when　she　began　that　Vergil　lesson　which　ended　in　a　lesson　in　the　pitilessness　of　consequences　that　was　not　yet　finished；　had　her　heart　been　so　light；　so　hopeful。　　In　vain　she　reminded　herself　that　the　doing　of　this　larger　duty；　so　imperative；　nevertheless　endangered　her　father　and　mother。　　〃They　will　be　proud　that　I'm　doing　it；〃　she　assured　herself。

〃For　Gardiner's　sake；　as　well　as　for　mine；　they'll　be　glad　I　separated　him　and　myself　from　this　debased　life。　　They　willthey　MUST；　since　it　is　right！〃　　And　already　she　felt　the　easing　of　the　bonds　that　had　never　failed　to　cut　deeper　into　the　living　flesh　whenever　she　had　ventured　to　hope　that　she　was　at　last　growing　used　to　them。

〃Free！〃　she　said　to　herself　exultantly。　　She　dared　to　exult；　but　she　did　not　dare　to　express　to　herself　the　hopes；　the　wild；　incredible　hopes；　which　the　very　thought　of　freedom　set　to　quivering　deep　down　in　her；　as　the　first　warmth　makes　the　life　toss　in　its　slumber　in　the　planted　seed。

On　Friday　she　came　up　to　New　York　late　in　the　afternoon；　and　in　the　evening　went　to　the　operafor　a　last　look　round。　　As　the　lights　were　lowering　for　the　rise　of　the　curtain　on　the　second　act；　Leonora　and　her　husband　entered　the　box。　　She　had　forgotten　inviting　them。　　She　gave　Leonora　the　chair　in　front　and　took　the　one　behindMillicent　Rowland；　whom　she　herself　brought；　had　the　other　front　seat。　　As　her　chair　was　midway　between　the　two；　she　was　seeing　across　Leonora's　shoulders。　　Presently　Dumont　came　in　and　took　the　chair　behind　Leonora's　and　leaned　forward；　his　chin　almost　touching　the　slope　of　her　neck　as　he　talked　to　her　in　an　undertone；　she　greatly　amused　or　pretending　to　be。

The　light　from　the　stage　fell　across　Leonora's　bosom；　fell　upon　a　magnificent　string　of　graduated　pearls　clasped　with　a　huge　solitaire　beyond　question　the　string　the　jeweler's　clerk　had　blunderingly　shown　her。　　And　there　was　Dumont's　heavy；　coarse　profile　outlined　against　Leonora's　cheek　and　throat；　her　cynical；　sensuous　profile　showing　just　beyond。

Open　sprang　a　hundred　doors　of　memory；　into　Pauline's　mind　was　discharged　avalanche　after　avalanche　of　dreadful　thoughts。　　〃No！　No！〃　she　protested。　　〃How　infamous　to　think　such　things　of　my　best　friend！〃　　But　she　tried　in　vain　to　thrust　suspicions；　accusations；　proofs；　back　into　the　closets。　　Instead；　she　sank　under　the　flood　of　themsick　and　certain。

When　the　lights　went　up　she　said：　　〃I'm　feeling　badly　all　at　once。　　I'm　afraid　I'll　have　to　take　you　home；　Milly。〃

〃Are　you　ill；　dear？〃　asked　Leonora。

〃Oh；　nojust　faint；〃　she　replied；　in　a　voice　which　she　succeeded　in　making　fairly　natural。

〃Please　don't　move。　　Stay　onyou　really　must。〃

The　other　manShenstonehelped　her　and　Millicent　with　their　wraps　and　accompanied　them　to　their　carriage。　　When　she　had　set　Millicent　down　she　drew　a　long　breath　of　relief。　　For　the　first　time　in　seven　years　her　course　lay　straight　before　her。　　〃I　must　be　free！〃　she　said。　　〃I　must　be　ENTIRELY　freefree　before　the　whole　worldI　and　my　boy。〃


The　next　morning；　in　the　midst　of　her　preparations　to　take　the　ten…o'clock　limited　for　the　West；　her　maid　brought　a　note　to　hera　copy　of　a　National　Woolens　Company　circular　to　the　trade；　setting　forth　that　〃owing　to　a　gratifying　easing　in　the　prices　for　raw　wool；　the　Company　are　able　to　announce　and　take　great　pleasure　in　announcing　a　ten　per　cent。　reduction。〃　　On　the　margin　Dumont　had　scrawled　〃To　go　out　to…morrow　and　to　be　followed　in　ten　days　by　fifteen　per　cent。　more。　　Couldn't　resist　your　appeal。〃　　Thus　by　the　sheer　luck　that　had　so　often　supplemented　his　skill　and　mitigated　his　mistakes；　he　had　yielded　to　her　plea　just　in　time　to　confuse　the　issue　between　her　and　him。

She　read　the　circular　and　the　scrawl　with　a　sinking　heart。　　〃Nevertheless；　I　shall　go！〃　she　tried　to　protest。　　〃True；　he　won't　send　out　this　circular　if　I　do。　　But　what　does　it　matter；　one　infamy　more　or　less　in　him？　　Besides；　he　will　accomplish　his　purpose　in　some　other　way　of　which　I　shall　not　know。〃　　But　this　was　only　the　b