the cost-第25章

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　crushed　under　the　heel　of　the　Great　Executioner。〃

〃Sometimes　I　feel　that；〃　answered　Pauline。　　〃But　againoften；　as　a　childand　since；　when　everything　has　looked　dark　and　ugly　for　me；　I've　gone　where　I　could　see　them。　　And　they　seemed　to　draw　all　the　fever　and　the　fear　out　of　me；　and　to　put　there　instead　a　sort　ofnot　happiness；　not　even　content；　butcourage。〃

They　were　near　the　rail　now；　she　gazing　into　the　southern　sky；　he　studying　her　face。　　It　seemed　to　him　that　he　had　not　seen　any　one　so　beautiful。　　She　was　all　in　black　with　a　diamond　star　glittering　in　her　hair　high　above　her　forehead。　　She　looked　like　a　splendid　plume　dropped　from　the　starry　wing　of　night。

〃The　stars　make　you　feel　that　way；〃　he　said；　in　the　light　tone　that　disguises　a　compliment　as　a　bit　of　raillery；　〃because　you're　of　their　family。　　And　I　feel　as　I　do　because　I'm　a　blood…relation　of　the　earthworms。〃

Her　face　changed。　　〃Oh；　but　so　am　I！〃　she　exclaimed；　with　a　passion　he　had　never　seen　or　suspected　in　her　before。　　She　drew　a　long　breath；　closed　her　eyes　and　opened　them　very　wide。

〃You　don't　know；　you　can't　imagine；　how　I　long　to　LIVE！　　And　　KNOW　what　‘to　live'　means。〃

〃Then　why　don't　you？〃　he　askedhe　liked　to　catch　people　in　their　confidential　moods　and　to　peer　into　the　hidden　places　in　their　hearts；　not　impudently　but　with　a　sort　of　scientific　curiosity。

〃Because　I'm　a　daughterthat's　anchor　number　one。　　Because　I'm　a　motherthat's　anchor　number　two。　　Because　I'm　a　wifethat's　anchor　number　three。　　And　anchor　number　fourbecause　I'm　under　the　spell　of　inherited　instincts　that　rule　me　though　I　don't　in　the　least　believe　in　them。　　Tied；　hands　and　feet！〃

〃Inherited　instinct。〃　　He　shook　his　head　sadly。　　〃That's　the　skeleton　at　life's　banquet。　　It　takes　away　my　appetite。〃

She　laughed　without　mirth；　then　sighed　with　some　self…mockery。　　〃It　frightens　ME　away　from　the　table。〃



XV。

GRADUATED　PEARLS。


But　Scarborough　declined　her　invitation。　　However；　he　did　come　to　dinner　ten　days　later；　and　Gladys；　who　had　no　lack　of　confidence　in　her　power　to　charm　when　and　whom　she　chose；　was　elated　by　his　friendliness　then　and　when　she　met　him　at　other　houses。

〃He's　not　a　bit　sentimental；〃　she　told　Pauline；　whose　silence　whenever　she　tried　to　discuss　him　did　not　discourage　her。　　〃But　if　he　ever　does　care　for　a　woman　he'll　care　in　the　same　tremendous　way　that　he　sweeps　things　before　him　in　his　career。　　Don't　you　think　so？〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Pauline。

She　had　now　lingered　at　Saint　X　two　months　beyond　the　time　she　originally　set。　　She　told　herself　she　had　reached　the　limit　of　endurance；　that　she　must　fly　from　the　spectacle　of　Gladys'　growing　intimacy　with　Scarborough；　she　told　Gladys　it　was　impossible　for　her　longer　to　neglect　the　new　house　in　Fifth　Avenue。　　With　an　effort　she　added：　　〃You'd　rather　stay　on　here；　wouldn't　you？〃

〃I　detest　New　York；〃　replied　Gladys。　　〃And　I've　never　enjoyed　myself　in　my　whole　life　as　I'm　enjoying　it　here。〃

So　she　went　East　alone；　went　direct　to　Dawn　Hill；　their　country　place　at　Manhasset；　Long　Island；　which　Dumont　never　visited。　　She　invited　Leonora　Fanshaw　down　to　stand　between　her　thoughts　and　herself。　　Only　the　society　of　a　human　being；　one　who　was　light…hearted　and　amusing；　could　tide　her　back　to　any　sort　of　peace　in　the　old　lifeher　books　and　her　dogs；　her　horseback　and　her　drawing　and　her　gardening。　　A　life　so　full　of　events；　so　empty　of　event。　　It　left　her　hardly　time　for　proper　sleep；　yet　it　had　not　a　single　one　of　those　vivid　threads　of　intense　and　continuous　interestand　one　of　them　is　enough　to　make　bright　the　dullest　pattern　that　issues　from　the　Loom。

In　her　〃splendor〃　her　nearest　approach　to　an　intimacy　had　been　with　Leonora。

She　had　no　illusions　about　the　company　she　was　keeping　in　the　East。　　To　her　these　〃friends〃　seemed　in　no　proper　sense　either　her　friends　or　one　another's。　　Drawn　together　from　all　parts　of　America；　indeed　of　the　world；　by　the　magnetism　of　millions；　they　had　known　one　another　not　at　all　or　only　slightly　in　the　period　of　life　when　thorough　friendships　are　made；　even　where　they　had　been　associates　as　children；　the　association　had　rarely　been　of　the　kind　that　creates　friendship's　democratic　intimacy。　　They　had　no　common　traditions；　no　real　class…feeling；　no　common　enthusiasmsunless　the　passion　for　keeping　rich；　for　getting　richer；　for　enjoying　and　displaying　riches；　could　be　called　enthusiasm。　　They　were　mere　intimate　acquaintances；　making　small　pretense　of　friendship；　having　small　conception　of　it　or　desire　for　it　beyond　that　surface　politeness　which　enables　people　whose　selfish　interests　lie　in　the　same　direction　to　get　on　comfortably　together。

She　divided　them　into　two　classes。　　There　were　those　who；　like　herself；　kept　up　great　establishments　and　entertained　lavishly　and　engaged　in　the　courteous　but　fierce　rivalry　of　fashionable　ostentation。　　Then　there　were　those　who　hung　about　the　courts　of　the　rich；　invited　because　they　filled　in　the　large　backgrounds　and　contributed　conversation　or　ideas　for　new　amusements；　accepting　because　they　loved　the　atmosphere　of　luxury　which　they　could　not　afford　to　create　for　themselves。

Leonora　was　undeniably　in　the　latter　class。　　But　she　was　associated　in　Pauline's　mind　with　the　period　before　her　splendor。　　She　had　been　friendly　when　Dumont　was　unknown　beyond　Saint　X。　　The　others　sought　herwell；　for　the　same　reasons　of　desire　for　distraction　and　dread　of　boredom　which　made　her　welcome　them。　　But　Leonora；　she　more　than　half　believed；　liked　her　to　a　certain　extent　for　herself〃likes　me　better　than　I　like　her。〃　　And　at　times　she　was　self…reproachful　for　being　thus　exceeded　in　self…giving。　　Leonora；　for　example；　told　her　her　most　intimate　secrets；　some　of　them　far　from　creditable　to　her。　　Pauline　told　nothing　in　return。　　She　sometimes　longed　for　a　confidant；　or；　rather；　for　some　person　who　would　understand　without　being　told；　some　one　like　Olivia；　but　her　imagination　refused　to　picture　Leonora　as　that　kind　of　friend。　　Even　more　pronounced　than　her　frankness；　and　she　was　frank　to　her　own　hurt；　was　her　biting　cynicismit　was　undeniably　amusing；　it　did　not　exactly　inspire　distrust；　but　it　put　Pauline　vaguely　on　guard。　　Also；　she　was　candidly　mercenary；　and；　in　some　moods；　rapaciously　envious。　　〃But　no　worse；〃　thought　Pauline；　〃than　so　many　of　the　others　here；　once　one　gets　below　their　surface。　　Besides；　it's　in　a　good…natured；　good…hearted　way。〃

She　wished　Fanshaw　were　as　rich　as　Leonora　longed　for　him　to　be。　　She　was　glad　Dumont　seemed　to　be　putting　him　in　the　way　of　making　a　fortune。　　He　was　distasteful　to　her；　because　she　saw　that　he　was　an　ill…tempered　sycophant　under　a　pretense　of　manliness　thick　enough　to　shield　him　from　the　unobservant　eyes　of　a　world　of　men　and　women　greedy　of　flattery　and　busy　each　with　himself　or　herself。　　But　for　Leonora's　sake　she　invited　him。　　And　Leonora　was　appreciative；　was　witty；　never　monotonous　or　commonplace；　most　helpful　in　getting　up　entertainments；　and　good　to　look　atalways　beautifully　dressed　and　as　fresh　as　if　just　from　a　bath；　sparkling　green　eyes；　usually　with　good…humored　mockery　in　them；　hard；　smooth；　glistening　shoulders　and　arms；　lips　a　crimson　line；　at　once　cold　and　sensuous。

On　a　Friday　in　December　Pauline　came　up　from　Dawn　Hill　and；　after　two　hours　at　the　new　house；　went　to　the　jeweler's　to　buy　a　wedding　present　for　Aurora　Galloway。　　As　she　was　passing　the　counter　where　the　superintendent　had　his　office；　his　assistant　said：　　〃Beg　pardon；　Mrs。　Dumont。　　The　necklace　came　in　this　morning。　　Would　you　like　to　look　at　it？〃

She　paused；　not　clearly　hearing　him。　　He　took　a　box　from　the　safe　behind　him　and　lifted　from　it　a　magnificent　necklace　of　graduated　pearls　with　a　huge　solitaire　diamond　clasp。　　〃It's　one　of　the　finest　we　ever　got　together；〃　he　went　on。　　〃But　you　can　see　for　yourself。〃　　He　was　flushing　in　the　excitement　of　his　eagerness　to　ingratiate　himself　with　such　a　distinguished　customer。

〃Beautiful！〃　said　Pauline；　taking　the　necklace　as　he　held　it　out　to　her。　　〃May　I　ask　whom　it's　for？〃

The　clerk　looked　puzzled；　then　frightened；　as　the　implications　of　her　obvious　ignorance　dawned　upon　him。

〃OhII〃　　He　almost　snatched　it　from　her；　dropped　it　into　the　box；　put　on　the　lid。　　And　he　stoo