the cost-第12章
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t you're as certain to be asas a rosebud is certain to be a full…blown rose。 I love you as my father loved my mother。 I shall love you always。〃 His manner was calm； matter…of…fact； but there was in his musical； magical voice a certain quality which set her nerves and her blood suddenly to vibrating。 She felt as if she were struggling in a great seathe sea of his love for herstruggling to reach the safety of the shore。
〃OhI WISH you hadn't told me！〃 she exclaimed。
〃Suppose I hadn't； suppose you had taken my advice？ No〃he shook his head slowly〃I couldn't do that； Paulinenot even to win you。〃
〃I'm sorry I said anything to you about it。〃
〃You needn't be。 You haven't harmed yourself。 And maybe I can help you。〃
〃Nowe won't talk of it；〃 she saidshe was pressing her hand on her bosom where she could feel her wedding ring。 〃It wouldn't be right； now。 I don't wish your advice。〃
〃But I must give it。 I'm years and years older than youmany； many years more than the six between us。 And〃
〃I don't wish to hear。〃
〃For his sake； for your own sake； Pauline； tell them！ And they'll surely help you to wait till you're older before you do anythingirrevocable。〃
〃But I care for him；〃 she saidangrily； though it could not have been what he was saying so gently that angered her。 〃You forget that I care for him。 It IS irrevocable now。 And I'm glad it is！〃
〃You LIKE him。 You don't LOVE him。 Andhe's not worthy of your love。 I'm sure it isn't prejudice that makes me say it。 If he were； he'd have waited〃
She was on her feet； her eyes blazing。
〃I asked for advice； not a lecture。 I DESPISE you！ Attacking the man I love and behind his back！ I wish to be alone。〃
He rose but met her look without flinching。
〃You can send ME away；〃 he said gently； 〃but you can't send away my words。 And if they're true you'll feel them when you get over your anger。 You'll do what you think right。 Butbe SURE； Pauline。 Be SURE！〃 In his eyes there was a lookthe secret altar with the never…to…be…extinguished flame upon it。 〃Be SURE！； Pauline。 Be SURE。〃
Her anger fell； she sank； forlorn； into a chair。 For both； the day had shriveled and shadowed。 And as he turned and left the room the warmth and joy died from air and sky and earth； both of them felt the latent chillit seemed not a reminiscence of winter past but the icy foreboding of winter closing in。
When Olivia came back that evening from shopping in Indianapolis she found her cousin packing。
〃Is it something from home？〃 she asked； alarmed。
Pauline did not look up as she answered：
〃Nobut I'm going hometo staygoing in the morning。 I've telegraphed them。〃
〃To stay！〃
〃YesI was married to Jackherelast fall。〃
〃Youmarried！ To JOHN DUMONTyou； only seventeenoh； Pauline〃 And Olivia gave way to tears for the first time since she was a baby。
Scarborough was neither at supper nor at breakfastPauline left without seeing him again。
VIII。
THE DECISION。
When the sign…board on a station platform said 〃5。2 miles to St。 X；〃 Pauline sank back in her chair in the parlor…car with blanched face。 And almost immediately； so it seemed to her； Saint X came into viewhome！ She fancied she could see the very house as she looked down on the mass of green in which the town was embowered。 The train slid into the station； slowed downthere were people waiting on the platformher father！ He was glancing from window to window； trying to catch a glimpse of her； and his expression of almost agonized eagerness made her heartsick。 She had been away from him for nearly seven monthslong enough to break the habit which makes it impossible for members of a family to know how they really look to each other。 How gray and thin his beard seemed！ What was the meaning of that gaunt look about his shoulders？ What was the strange； terrifying shadow over him？ 〃Why； he's OLD！〃 The tears welled into her eyes〃He's gliding away from me！〃 She remembered what she had to tell him and her knees almost refused to support her。
He was at the step as she sprang down。 She flew into his arms。 He held her away from him and scanned her face with anxious eyes。 〃Is my little girl ill？〃 he asked。 〃The telegram made me uneasy。〃
〃Oh； no！〃 she said with a reassuring hug。 〃Where's mother？〃
〃Sheshe's got aasurprise for you。 We must hurryshe'll be impatient； though she's seen you since I have。〃
At the curbstone stood the familiar surrey； with Mordecai humped upon the front seat。 〃I don't see how the colonel ever knowed you；〃 said he； as she shook hands with him。 〃I never seen the like for growin'。〃
〃But YOU look just the same； Mordecaiyou and the surrey and the horses。 And how's Amanda？〃
〃Poorly；〃 replied Mordecaihis invariable answer to inquiries about his wife。 She patterned after the old school； which held that for a woman to confess to good health was for her to confess to lack of refinement； if not of delicacy。
〃You think I've changed； father？〃 asked Pauline； when the horses were whirling them home。 She was so busily greeting the familiar streets and houses and trees and faces that she hardly heard his reply。
〃‘I never seen the like for growin'；' 〃 he quoted； his eyes shining with pride in her。 He was a reticent man by nature as well as by training； he could not have SAID how beautiful； how wonderful he thought her； or how intensely he loved her。 The most he could do to express himself to her was； a little shyly； to pat her handand to LOOK it into Mordecai's back。
She was about to snuggle up to him as a wave of delight at being home again swept over her； but her secret rushed from the background of her mind。 〃How could I have done it？ How can I tell them？〃 Then； the serene and beautiful kindness of her father's face reassured her。
Her mother was waiting in the open front door as the surrey came up the drivestill the same dear old…young mother； with the same sweet dignity and gentleness。
〃Oh； mother； mother！〃 exclaimed Pauline； leaping from the carriage into her arms。 And as they closed about her she felt that sorrow and evil could not touch her； felt just as when she； a little girl； fleeing from some frightful phantom of her own imagining； had rushed there for safety。 She choked； she sobbed； she led her mother to the big sofa opposite the stairway； and； sitting there； they held each the other tightly； Pauline kissing her； smoothing her hair； she caressing Pauline and crying softly。
〃We've got a surprise for you； Polly；〃 said she； when they were calmer。
〃I don't want anything but you and father；〃 replied Pauline。
Her father turned awayand so she did not see the shadow deepen in his face。 Her mother shook her head； mischief in her eyes that were young as a girl'syounger far than her daughter's at that moment。 〃Go into the sitting…room and see；〃 she said。
Pauline opened the sitting…room door。 John Dumont caught her in his arms。 〃Polly！〃 he exclaimed。 〃It's all right。 They've come round andandhere I am！〃
Pauline pushed him away from her and sank to the floor in a faint。
When she came to herself she was lying on the divan in the sitting…room。 Her mother was kneeling beside her； bathing her temples with cold water； her father and her husband were standing； helplessly looking at her。 〃Send him away；〃 she murmured； closing her eyes。
Only her mother heard。 She motioned to the two men to leave the room。 When the door closed Pauline sat up。
〃He said it was all right；〃 she began feverishly。 〃What did he mean； mother？〃 She was hoping she was to be spared the worst part of her ordeal。
But her mother's reply dashed her hopes； made her settle back among the cushions and hide her face。 〃It IS all right； Polly。 You're to have your own way； and it's your father's way。 John has convinced him that he really has changed。 We knewthat is； I suspected why you were coming； and we thought we'd give you a surprisegive you what your heart was set on； before you had to ask for it。 I'm so sorry； dear； that the shock was〃
Pauline lay perfectly still； her face hidden。 After a pause： 〃I don't feel well enough to see him now。 I want this day with you and father。 To…morrowto…morrow； we'
