the black robe-第79章

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things　as　ye　have。〃







March　15。It　is　eight　in　the　morningand　I　hardly　know　how　to



employ　myself。　Having　finished　my　coffee；　I　have　just　looked



again　at　my　diary。







It　strikes　me　that　I　am　falling　into　a　bad　habit　of　writing　too



much　about　myself。　The　custom　of　keeping　a　journal　certainly　has



this　drawbackit　encourages　egotism。　Well；　the　remedy　is　easy。



From　this　date；　I　lock　up　my　bookonly　to　open　it　again　when



some　event　has　happened　which　has　a　claim　to　be　recorded　for　its



own　sake。　As　for　myself　and　my　feelings；　they　have　made　their



last　appearance　in　these　pages。







Seventh　Extract。







June　7。The　occasion　for　opening　my　diary　once　more　has



presented　itself　this　morning。







News　has　reached　me　of　Romayne；　which　is　too　important　to　be



passed　over　without　notice。　He　has　been　appointed　one　of　the



Pope's　Chamberlains。　It　is　also　reported；　on　good　authority；　that



he　will　be　attached　to　a　Papal　embassy　when　a　vacancy　occurs。



These　honors；　present　and　to　come；　seem　to　remove　him　further



than　ever　from　the　possibility　of　a　return　to　his　wife　and　child。







June　8。In　regard　to　Romayne；　Mrs。　Eyrecourt　seems　to　be　of　my



opinion。







Being　in　Paris　to…day；　at　a　morning　concert；　she　there　met　with



her　old　friend；　Doctor　Wybrow。　The　famous　physician　is　suffering



from　overwork；　and　is　on　his　way　to　Italy　for　a　few　months　of



rest　and　recreation。　They　took　a　drive　together；　after　the



performance；　in　the　Bois　de　Boulogne；　and　Mrs。　Eyrecourt　opened



her　mind　to　the　doctor；　as　freely　as　usual；　on　the　subject　of



Stella　and　the　child。　He　entirely　agreed　（speaking　in　the　future



interests　of　the　boy）　that　precious　time　has　been　lost　in



informing　Romayne　of　the　birth　of　an　heir；　and　he　has　promised；



no　matter　what　obstacles　may　be　placed　in　his　way；　to　make　the



announcement　himself；　when　he　reaches　Rome。







June　9。Madame　Villeray　has　been　speaking　to　me　confidentially



on　a　very　delicate　subject。







I　am　pledged　to　discontinue　writing　about　myself。　But　in　these



private　pages　I　may　note　the　substance　of　what　my　good　friend



said　to　me。　If　I　only　look　back　often　enough　at　this　little



record；　I　may　gather　the　resolution　to　profit　by　her　advice。　In



brief；　these　were　her　words：







〃Stella　has　spoken　to　me　in　confidence；　since　she　met　you



accidentally　in　the　garden　yesterday。　She　cannot　be　guilty　of　the



poor　affectation　of　concealing　what　you　must　have　already



discovered　for　yourself。　But　she　prefers　to　say　the　words　that



must　be　said　to　you；　through　me。　Her　husband's　conduct　to　her　is



an　outrage　that　she　can　never　forget。　She　now　looks　back　with



sentiments　of　repulsion；　which　she　dare　not　describe；　to　that



'love　at　first　sight'　（as　you　call　it　in　England）；　conceived　on



the　day　when　they　first　metand　she　remembers　regretfully　that



other　love；　of　years　since；　which　was　love　of　steadier　and　slower



growth。　To　her　shame　she　confesses　that　she　failed　to　set　you　the



example　of　duty　and　self…restraint　when　you　two　happened　to　be



alone　yesterday。　She　leaves　it　to　my　discretion　to　tell　you　that



you　must　see　her　for　the　future；　always　in　the　presence　of　some



other　person。　Make　no　reference　to　this　when　you　next　meet；　and



understand　that　she　has　only　spoken　to　me　instead　of　to　her



mother；　because　she　fears　that　Mrs。　Eyrecourt　might　use　harsh



words；　and　distress　you　again；　as　she　once　distressed　you　in



England。　If　you　will　take　my　advice；　you　will　ask　permission　to



go　away　again　on　your　travels。〃







It　matters　nothing　what　I　said　in　reply。　Let　me　only　relate　that



we　were　interrupted　by　the　appearance　of　the　nursemaid　at　the



pavilion　door。







She　led　the　child　by　the　hand。　Among　his　first　efforts　at



speaking；　under　his　mother's　instruction；　had　been　the　effort　to



call　me　Uncle　Bernard。　He　had　now　got　as　far　as　the　first



syllable　of　my　Christian　name；　and　he　had　come　to　me　to　repeat



his　lesson。　Resting　his　little　hands　on　my　knees；　he　looked　up　at



me　with　his　mother's　eyes；　and　said；　〃Uncle　Ber'。〃　A　trifling



incident；　but；　at　that　moment；　it　cut　me　to　the　heart。　I　could



only　take　the　boy　in　my　arms；　and　look　at　Madame　Villeray。　The



good　woman　felt　for　me。　I　saw　tears　in　her　eyes。







No！　no　more　writing　about　myself。　I　close　the　book　again。







Eighth　Extract。







July　3。A　letter　has　reached　Mrs。　Eyrecourt　this　morning；　from



Doctor　Wybrow。　It　is　dated；　〃Castel　Gandolpho；　near　Rome。〃　Here



the　doctor　is　established　during　the　hot　monthsand　here　he　has



seen　Romayne；　in　attendance　on　the　〃Holy　Father；〃　in　the　famous



summer　palace　of　the　Popes。　How　he　obtained　the　interview　Mrs。



Eyrecourt　is　not　informed。　To　a　man　of　his　celebrity；　doors　are



no　doubt　opened　which　remain　closed　to　persons　less　widely　known。







〃I　have　performed　my　promise；〃　he　writes　〃and　I　may　say　for



myself　that　I　spoke　with　every　needful　precaution。　The　result　a



little　startled　me。　Romayne　was　not　merely　unprepared　to　hear　of



the　birth　of　his　childhe　was　physically　and　morally　incapable



of　sustaining　the　shock　of　the　disclosure。　For　the　moment；　I



thought　he　had　been　seized　with　a　fit　of　catalepsy。　He　moved；



however；　when　I　tried　to　take　his　hand　to　feel　the



pulseshrinking　back　in　his　chair；　and　feebly　signing　to　me　to



leave　him。　I　committed　him　to　the　care　of　his　servant。　The　next



day　I　received　a　letter　from　one　of　his　priestly　colleagues；



informing　me　that　he　was　slowly　recovering　after　the　shock　that　I



had　inflicted；　and　requesting　me　to　hold　no　further　communication



with　him；　either　personally　or　by　letter。　I　wish　I　could　have



sent　you　a　more　favorable　report　of　my　interference　in　this



painful　matter。　Perhaps　you　or　your　daughter　may　hear　from　him。〃







July　4…9。No　letter　has　been　received。　Mrs。　Eyrecourt　is　uneasy。



Stella；　on　the　contrary；　seems　to　be　relieved。







July　10。A　letter　has　arrived　from　London；　addressed　to　Stella



by　Romayne's　English　lawyers。　The　income　which　Mrs。　Romayne　has



refused　for　herself　is　to　be　legally　settled　on　her　child。



Technical　particulars　follow；　which　it　is　needless　to　repeat



here。







By　return　of　post；　Stella　has　answered　the　lawyers；　declaring



that；　so　long　as　she　lives；　and　has　any　influence　over　her　son；



he　shall　not　touch　the　offered　income。　Mrs。　Eyrecourt；　Monsieur



and　Madame　Villerayand　even　Matildaentreated　her　not　to　send



the　letter。　To　my　thinking；　Stella　acted　with　becoming　spirit。



Though　there　is　no　entail；　still　Vange　Abbey　is　morally　the　boy's



birthrightit　is　a　cruel　wrong　to　offer　him　anything　else。







July　11。For　the　second　time　I　have　proposed　to　leave　St。



Germain。　The　presence　of　the　third　person；　whenever　I　am　in　her



company；　is　becoming　unendurable　to　me。　She　still　uses　her



influence　to　defer　my　departure。　〃Nobody　sympathizes　with　me；〃



she　said；　〃but　you。〃







I　am　failing　to　keep　my　promise　to　myself；　not　to　write　about



myself。　But　there　is　some　little　excuse　this　time。　For　the　relief



of　my　own　conscience；　I　may　surely　place　it　on　record　that　I　have



tried　to　do　what　is　right。　It　is　not　my　fault　if　I　remain　at　St。



Germain；　insensible　to　Madame　Villeray's　warning。







Ninth　Extract。







September　13。Terrible　news　from　Rome　of　the　Jesuit　Mission　to



Arizona。







The　Indians　have　made　a　night　attack　on　the　new　mission…house。



The　building　is　burned　to　the　ground；　and　the　missionaries　have



been　massacredwith　the　exception　of　two　priests；　carried　away



captive。　The　names　of　the　priests　ar