the black robe-第71章

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checked　myself。　Was　I　mistaken　in　supposing　that　she　yielded　to



the　same　impulse；　and　resisted　it　as　I　did？　She　concealed　her



embarrassment；　if　she　felt　any；　by　patting　the　dog。







〃I　am　ashamed　that　you　should　have　taken　the　journey　to　London　in



this　wintry　weather〃　she　began。







It　was　impossible；　in　her　situation；　to　let　her　assume　this



commonplace　tone　with　me。　〃I　sincerely　feel　for　you；〃　I　said；



〃and　sincerely　wish　to　help　you；　if　I　can。〃







She　looked　at　me　for　the　first　time。　Did　she　believe　me？　or　did



she　still　doubt？　Before　I　could　decide；　she　took　a　letter　from



her　pocket；　opened　it；　and　handed　it　to　me。







〃Women　often　exaggerate　their　troubles；〃　she　said。　〃It　is　perhaps



an　unfair　trial　of　your　patiencebut　I　should　like　you　to



satisfy　yourself　that　I　have　not　made　the　worst　of　my　situation。



That　letter　will　place　it　before　you　in　Mr。　Romayne's　own　words。



Read　it；　except　where　the　page　is　turned　down。〃







It　was　her　husband's　letter　of　farewell。







The　language　was　scrupulously　delicate　and　considerate。　But　to　my



mind　it　entirely　failed　to　disguise　the　fanatical　cruelty　of　the



man's　resolution；　addressed　to　his　wife。　In　substance；　it　came　to



this：







〃He　had　discovered　the　marriage　at　Brussels；　which　she　had



deliberately　concealed　from　him　when　he　took　her　for　his　wife。



She　had　afterward　persisted　in　that　concealment；　under



circumstances　which　made　it　impossible　that　he　could　ever　trust



her　again。〃　（This　no　doubt　referred　to　her　ill…advised　reception



of　me；　as　a　total　stranger；　at　Ten　Acres　Lodge。）　〃In　the



miserable　break…up　of　his　domestic　life；　the　Church　to　which　he



now　belonged　offered　him　no　t　only　her　divine　consolation；　but



the　honor；　above　all　earthly　distinctions；　of　serving　the　cause



of　religion　in　the　sacred　ranks　of　the　priesthood。　Before　his



departure　for　Rome　he　bade　her　a　last　farewell　in　this　world；　and



forgave　her　the　injuries　that　she　had　inflicted　on　him。　For　her



sake　he　asked　leave　to　say　some　few　words　more。　In　the　first



place；　he　desired　to　do　her　every　justice；　in　a　worldly　sense。



Ten　Acres　Lodge　was　offered　to　her　as　a　free　gift　for　her



lifetime；　with　a　sufficient　income　for　all　her　wants。　In　the



second　place；　he　was　anxious　that　she　should　not　misinterpret　his



motives。　Whatever　his　opinion　of　her　conduct　might　be；　he　did　not



rely　on　it　as　affording　his　only　justification　for　leaving　her。



Setting　personal　feeling　aside；　he　felt　religious　scruples



（connected　with　his　marriage）　which　left　him　no　other　alternative



than　the　separation　on　which　he　had　resolved。　He　would　briefly



explain　those　scruples；　and　mention　his　authority　for



entertaining　them；　before　he　closed　his　letter。〃







There　the　page　was　turned　down；　and　the　explanation　was　concealed



from　me。







A　faint　color　stole　over　her　face　as　I　handed　the　letter　back　to



her。







〃It　is　needless　for　you　to　read　the　end；〃　she　said。　〃You　know；



under　his　own　hand；　that　he　has　left　me；　and　（if　such　a　thing



pleads　with　you　in　his　favor）　you　also　know　that　he　is　liberal　in



providing　for　his　deserted　wife。〃







I　attempted　to　speak。　She　saw　in　my　face　how　I　despised　him；　and



stopped　me。







〃Whatever　you　may　think　of　his　conduct；〃　she　continued；　〃I　beg



that　you　will　not　speak　of　it　to　me。　May　I　ask　your　opinion　（now



you　have　read　his　letter）　on　another　matter；　in　which　my　own



conduct　is　concerned？　In　former　days〃







She　paused；　poor　soul；　in　evident　confusion　and　distress。







〃Why　speak　of　those　days？〃　I　ventured　to　say。







〃I　must　speak　of　them。　In　former　days；　I　think　you　were　told　that



my　father's　will　provided　for　my　mother　and　for　me。　You　know　that



we　have　enough　to　live　on？〃







I　had　heard　of　it；　at　the　time　of　our　betrothalwhen　the



marriage　settlement　was　in　preparation。　The　mother　and　daughter



had　each　a　little　income　of　a　few　hundreds　a　year。　The　exact



amount　had　escaped　my　memory。







After　answering　her　to　this　effect；　I　waited　to　hear　more。







She　suddenly　became　silent；　the　most　painful　embarrassment　showed



itself　in　her　face　and　manner。　〃Never　mind　the　rest；〃　she　said；



mastering　her　confusion　after　an　interval。　〃I　have　had　some　hard



trials　to　bear；　I　forget　things〃　she　made　an　effort　to　finish



the　sentence；　and　gave　it　up；　and　called　to　the　dog　to　come　to



her。　The　tears　were　in　her　eyes；　and　that　was　the　way　she　took　to



hide　them　from　me。







In　general；　I　am　not　quick　at　reading　the　minds　of　othersbut　I



thought　I　understood　Stella。　Now　that　we　were　face　to　face；　the



impulse　to　trust　me　had；　for　the　moment；　got　the　better　of　her



caution　and　her　pride；　she　was　half　ashamed　of　it；　half　inclined



to　follow　it。　I　hesitated　no　longer。　The　time　for　which　I　had



waitedthe　time　to　prove；　without　any　indelicacy　on　my　side；



that　I　had　never　been　unworthy　of　herhad　surely　come　at　last。







〃Do　you　remember　my　reply　to　your　letter　about　Father　Benwell？〃　I



asked。







〃Yesevery　word　of　it。〃







〃I　promised；　if　you　ever　had　need　of　me；　to　prove　that　I　had



never　been　unworthy　of　your　confidence。　In　your　present



situation；　I　can　honorably　keep　my　promise。　Shall　I　wait　till　you



are　calmer？　or　shall　I　go　on　at　once？〃







〃At　once！〃







〃When　your　mother　and　your　friends　took　you　from　me；〃　I　resumed；



〃if　you　had　shown　any　hesitation〃







She　shuddered。　The　image　of　my　unhappy　wife；　vindictively



confronting　us　on　the　church　steps；　seemed　to　be　recalled　to　her



memory。　〃Don't　go　back　to　it！〃　she　cried。　〃Spare　me；　I　entreat



you。〃







I　opened　the　writing…case　in　which　I　keep　the　papers　sent　to　me



by　the　Rector　of　Belhaven；　and　placed　them　on　the　table　by　which



she　was　sitting。。　The　more　plainly　and　briefly　I　spoke　now；　the



better　I　thought　it　might　be　for　both　of　us。







〃Since　we　parted　at　Brussels；〃　I　said；　〃my　wife　has　died。　Here　is



a　copy　of　the　medical　certificate　of　her　death。〃







Stella　refused　to　look　at　it。　〃I　don't　understand　such　things；〃



she　answered　faintly。　〃What　is　this？〃







She　took　up　my　wife's　death…bed　confession。







〃Read　it；〃　I　said。







She　looked　frightened。　〃What　will　it　tell　me？〃　she　asked。







〃It　will　tell　you；　Stella；　that　false　appearances　once　led　you



into　wronging　an　innocent　man。〃







Having　said　this；　I　walked　away　to　a　window　behind　her；　at　the



further　end　of　the　room；　so　that　she　might　not　see　me　while　she



read。







After　a　timehow　much　longer　it　seemed　to　be　than　it　really



was！I　heard　her　move。　As　I　turned　from　the　window；　she　ran　to



me；　and　fell　on　her　knees　at　my　feet。　I　tried　to　raise　her；　I



entreated　her　to　believe　that　she　was　forgiven。　She　seized　my



hands；　and　held　them　over　her　facethey　were　wet　with　her　tears。



〃I　am　ashamed　to　look　at　you；〃　she　said。　〃Oh；　Bernard；　what　a



wretch　I　have　been！〃







I　never　was　so　distressed　in　my　life。　I　don't　know　what　I　should



have　said；　what　I　should　have　done；　if　my　dear　old　dog　had　not



helped　me　out　of　it。　He；　too；　ran　up　to　me；　with　the　loving



jealousy　of　his　race；　and　tried　to　lick　my　hands；　still　fast　in



Stella's　hold。　His　paws　were　on　her　shoulder；　he　attempted　to



push　himself　between　us。　I　think　I　successfully　assumed　a



tranquillity　which　I　was　far　from　really　feeling。　〃Come；　come！〃　I



said；　〃you　mustn't　make　Traveler　jealous。〃　She　let　me　raise　her。



Ah；　if　she　could　have　kissed　_me_but　that　was　not　to　be　done；



she　kissed　the　dog's　head；　and　then