the black robe-第70章

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enough　in　my　own　power　of　attraction　to　run　the　risk。　Better　to



write　first；　in　strictest　confidence；　to　Mrs。　Eyrecourt。







14th。An　enchanting　answer　from　my　angel's　mother；　written　in



great　haste。　They　are　on　the　point　of　leaving　for　Paris。　Stella



is　restless　and　dissatisfied；　she　wants　change　of　scene；　and　Mrs。



Eyrecourt　adds；　in　so　many　words〃It　is　you　who　have　upset　her；



why　did　you　not　speak　while　we　were　at　Beaupark？〃　I　am　to　hear



again　from　Paris。　Good　old　Father　Newbliss　said　all　along　that



she　was　fond　of　me；　and　wondered；　like　Mrs。　Eyrecourt；　why　I



failed　to　declare　myself。　How　could　I　tell　them　of　the　hideous



fetters　which　bound　me　in　tho　se　days？







18th；　Paris。She　has　accepted　me！　Words　are　useless　to　express



my　happiness。







19th。A　letter　from　my　lawyer；　full　of　professional　subtleties



and　delays。　I　have　no　patience　to　enumerate　them。　We　move　to



Belgium　to…morrow。　Not　on　our　way　back　to　EnglandStella　is　so



little　desirous　of　leaving　the　Continent　that　we　are　likely　to　be



married　abroad。　But　she　is　weary　of　the　perpetual　gayety　and



glitter　of　Paris；　and　wants　to　see　the　old　Belgian　cities。　Her



mother　leaves　Paris　with　regret。　The　liveliest　woman　of　her　age



that　I　ever　met　with。







Brussels；　May　7。My　blessing　on　the　old　Belgian　cities。　Mrs。



Eyrecourt　is　so　eager　to　get　away　from　them　that　she　backs　me　in



hurrying　the　marriage；　and　even　consents；　sorely　against　the



grain；　to　let　the　wedding　be　celebrated　at　Brussels　in　a　private



and　unpretending　way。　She　has　only　stipulated　that　Lord　and　Lady



Loring　（old　friends）　shall　be　present。　They　are　to　arrive



tomorrow；　and　two　days　afterward　we　are　to　be　married。







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　。　　。　　。　　。　　。　　。　　。



。







（An　inclosure　is　inserted　in　this　place。　It　consists　of　the



death…bed　confession　of　Mr。　Winterfield's　wife；　and　of　the



explanatory　letter　written　by　the　rector　of　Belhaven。　The



circumstances　related　in　these　documents；　already　known　to　the



reader；　are　left　to　speak　for　themselves；　and　the　Extracts　from



the　Diary　are　then　continued。）







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　。　　。　　。　　。　　。　　。　　。



。







Bingen；　on　the　Rhine；　May　19。Letters　from　Devonshire　at　last；



which　relieve　my　wretchedness　in　some　small　degree。　The　frightful



misfortune　at　Brussels　will　at　least　be　kept　secret；　so　far　as　I



am　concerned。　Beaupark　House　is　shut　up；　and　the　servants　are



dismissed；　〃in　consequence　of　my　residence　abroad。〃　To　Father



Newbliss　I　have　privately　written。　Not　daring　to　tell　him　the



truth；　I　leave　him　to　infer　that　my　marriage　engagement　has　been



broken　off；　he　writes　back　a　kind　and　comforting　letter。　Time



will；　I　suppose；　help　me　to　bear　my　sad　lot。　Perhaps　a　day　may



come　when　Stella　and　her　friends　will　know　how　cruelly　they　have



wronged　me。







London；　November　18；1860。The　old　wound　has　been　opened　again。　I



met　her　accidentally　in　a　picture　gallery。　She　turned　deadly



pale；　and　left　the　place。　Oh；　Stella！　Stella！







London；　August　12；　1861。Another　meeting　with　her。　And　another



shock　to　endure；　which　I　might　not　have　suffered　if　I　had　been　a



reader　of　the　marriage　announcements　in　the　newspapers。　Like



other　men；　I　am　in　the　habit　of　leaving　the　marriage



announcements　to　the　women。







I　went　to　visit　an　agreeable　new　acquaintance；　Mr。　Romayne。　His



wife　drove　up　to　the　house　while　I　was　looking　out　of　window。　I



recognized　Stella！　After　two　years；　she　has　made　use　of　the



freedom　which　the　law　has　given　to　her。　I　must　not　complain　of



that；　or　of　her　treating　me　like　a　stranger；　when　her　husband



innocently　introduced　us。　But　when　are　were　afterward　left



together　for　a　few　minutesno！　I　cannot　write　down　the　merciless



words　she　said　to　me。　Why　am　I　fool　enough　to　be　as　fond　of　her



as　ever？







Beaupark；　November　16。Stella's　married　life　is　not　likely　to　be



a　happy　one。　To…day's　newspaper　announces　the　conversion　of　her



husband　to　the　Roman　Catholic　Faith。　I　can　honestly　say　I　am



sorry　for　her；　knowing　how　she　has　suffered；　among　her　own



relatives；　by　these　conversions。　But　I　so　hate　him；　that　this



proof　of　his　weakness　is　a　downright　consolation　to　me。







Beaupark；　January　27；　1862。A　letter　from　Stella；　so　startling



and　deplorable　that　I　cannot　remain　away　from　her　after　reading



it。　Her　husband　has　deliberately　deserted　her。　He　has　gone　to



Rome；　to　serve　his　term　of　probation　for　the　priesthood。　I　travel



to　London　by　to…day's　train。







London；　January　27。Short　as　it　is；　I　looked　at　Stella's　letter



again　and　again　on　the　journey。　The　tone　of　the　closing　sentences



is　still　studiously　cold。　After　informing　me　that　she　is　staying



with　her　mother　in　London；　she　concludes　her　letter　in　these



terms：







〃Be　under　no　fear　that　the　burden　of　my　troubles　will　be　laid　on



your　shoulders。　Since　the　fatal　day　when　we　met　at　Ten　Acres；　you



have　shown　forbearance　and　compassion　toward　me。　I　don't　stop　to



inquire　if　you　are　sincereit　rests　with　you　to　prove　that。　But



I　have　some　questions　to　ask；　which　no　person　but　you　can　answer。



For　the　rest；　my　friendless　position　will　perhaps　plead　with　you



not　to　misunderstand　me。　May　I　write　again？〃







Inveterate　distrust　in　every　sentence！　If　any　other　woman　had



treated　me　in　this　way；　I　should　have　put　her　letter　into　the



fire；　and　should　not　have　stirred　from　my　comfortable　house。







January　29。A　day　missed　out　of　my　Diary。　The　events　of



yesterday　unnerved　me　for　the　time。







Arriving　at　Derwent's　Hotel　on　the　evening　of　the　27th；　I　sent　a



line　to　Stella　by　messenger；　to　ask　when　she　could　receive　me。







It　is　strange　how　the　merest　trifles　seem　to　touch　women！　Her



note　in　reply　contains　the　first　expression　of　friendly　feeling



toward　me　which　has　escaped　her　since　we　parted　at　Brussels。　And



this　expression　proceeds　from　her　ungovernable　surprise　and



gratitude　at　my　taking　the　trouble　to　travel　from　Devonshire　to



London　on　her　account！







For　the　rest；　she　proposed　to　call　on　me　at　the　hotel　the　next



morning。　She　and　her　mother；　it　appeared；　differed　in　opinion　on



the　subject　of　Mr。　Romayne's　behavior　to　her；　and　she　wished　to



see　me；　in　the　first　instance；　unrestrained　by　Mrs。　Eyrecourt's



interference。







There　was　little　sleep　for　me　that　night。　I　passed　most　of　the



time　in　smoking　and　walking　up　and　down　the　room。　My　one　relief



was　afforded　by　Travelerhe　begged　so　hard　to　go　to　London　with



me；　I　could　not　resist　him。　The　dog　always　sleeps　in　my　room。　His



surprise　at　my　extraordinary　restlessness　（ending　in　downright



anxiety　and　alarm）　was　expressed　in　his　eyes；　and　in　his　little



whinings　and　cries；　quite　as　intelligibly　as　if　he　had　put　his



meaning　into　words。　Who　first　called　a　dog　a　dumb　creature？　It



must　have　been　a　man；　I　thinkand　a　thoroughly　unlovable　man；



too；　from　a　dog's　point　of　view。







Soon　after　ten；　on　the　morning　of　the　28th；　she　entered　my



sitting…room。







In　her　personal　appearance；　I　saw　a　change　for　the　worse：



produced；　I　suppose；　by　the　troubles　that　have　tried　her　sorely；



poor　thing。　There　was　a　sad　loss　of　delicacy　in　her　features；　and



of　purity　in　her　complexion。　Even　her　dressI　should　certainly



not　have　noticed　it　in　any　other　womanseemed　to　be　loose　and



slovenly。　In　the　agitation　of　the　moment；　I　forgot　the　long



estrangement　between　us；　I　half　lifted　my　hand　to　take　hers；　and



checked　myself。　Was　I　mistaken　in　supposing　that　she　yield