the black robe-第59章

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〃My　only　ambition　is　to　lead　a　worthy　life；　and　to　be　as　useful



to　my　fellow…creatures　as　I　can。　Does　that　satisfy　you？〃







Romayne　hesitated。　〃It　seems　strange〃　he　began。







〃What　seems　strange？〃







〃I　don't　say　it　seems　strange　that　you　should　be　a　priest；〃



Romayne　explained。　〃I　am　only　surprised　that　a　man　of　your　simple



way　of　thinking　should　have　attached　himself　to　the　Order　of　the



Jesuits。〃







〃I　can　quite　understand　that；〃　said　Penrose。　〃But　you　should



remember　that　circumstances　often　influence　a　man　in　his　choice



of　a　vocation。　It　has　been　so　with　me。　I　am　a　member　of　a　Roman



Catholic　family。　A　Jesuit　College　was　near　our　place　of　abode；



and　a　near　relative　of　minesince　deadwas　one　of　the　resident



priests。〃　He　paused；　and　added　in　a　lower　tone：　〃When　I　was



little　more　than　a　lad　I　suffered　a　disappointment；　which　altered



my　character　for　life。　I　took　refuge　in　the　College；　and　I　have



found　patience　and　peace　of　mind　since　that　time。　Oh；　my　friend；



you　might　have　been　a　more　contented　man〃　He　stopped　again。　His



interest　in　the　husband　had　all　but　deceived　him　into　forgetting



his　promise　to　the　wife。







Romayne　held　out　his　hand。　〃I　hope　I　have　not　thoughtlessly　hurt



you？〃　he　said。







Penrose　took　the　offered　hand；　and　pressed　it　fervently。　He　tried



to　speakand　suddenly　shuddered；　like　a　man　in　pain。　〃I　am　not



very　well　this　morning；〃　he　stammered；　〃a　turn　in　the　garden　will



do　me　good。〃







Romayne's　doubts　were　confirmed　by　the　manner　in　which　Penrose



left　him。　Something　had　unquestionably　happened；　which　his　friend



shrank　from　communicating　to　him。　He　sat　down　again　at　his　desk



and　tried　to　read。　The　time　passedand　he　was　still　left　alone。



When　the　door　was　at　last　opened　it　was　only　Stella　who　entered



the　room。







〃Have　you　seen　Penrose？〃　he　asked。







The　estrangement　between　them　had　been　steadily　widening　of　late。



Romayne　had　expressed　his　resentment　at　his　wife's　interference



between　Penrose　and　himself　by　that　air　of　contemptuous　endurance



which　is　the　hardest　penalty　that　a　man　can　inflict　on　the　woman



who　loves　him。　Stella　had　submitted　with　a　proud　and　silent



resignationthe　most　unfortunate　form　of　protest　that　she　could



have　adopted　toward　a　man　of　Romayne's　temper。　When　she　now



appeared；　however；　in　her　husband's　study；　there　was　a　change　in



her　expression　which　he　instantly　noticed。　She　looked　at　him　with



eyes　softened　by　sorrow。　Before　she　could　answer　his　first



question；　he　hurriedly　added　another。　〃Is　Penrose　really　ill？〃







〃No；　Lewis。　He　is　distressed。〃







〃About　what？〃







〃About　you；　and　about　himself。〃







〃Is　he　going　to　leave　us？〃







〃Yes。〃







〃But　he　will　come　back　again？〃







Stella　took　a　chair　by　her　husband's　side。　〃I　am　truly　sorry　for



you；　Lewis；〃　she　said。　〃It　is　even　a　sad　parting　for　Me。　If　you



will　let　me　say　it；　I　have　a　sincere　regard　for　dear　Mr。



Penrose。〃







Under　other　circumstances；　this　confession　of　feeling　for　the　man



who　had　sacrificed　his　dearest　aspiration　to　the　one



consideration　of　her　happiness；　might　have　provoked　a　sharp



reply。　But　by　this　time　Romayne　had　really　become　alarmed。　〃You



speak　as　if　Arthur　was　going　to　leave　England；〃　he　said。







〃He　leaves　England　this　afternoon；〃　she　answered；　〃for　Rome。〃







〃Why　does　he　tell　this　to　you；　and　not　to　me？〃　Romayne　asked。







〃He　cannot　trust　himself　to　speak　of　it　to　you。　He　begged　me　to



prepare　you〃







Her　courage　failed　her。　She　paused。　Romayne　beat　his　hand



impatiently　on　the　desk　before　him。　〃Speak　out！〃　he　cried。　〃If



Rome　is　not　the　end　of　the　journeywhat　is？〃







Stella　hesitated　no　longer。







〃He　goes　to　Rome；〃　she　said　〃to　receive　his　instructions；　and　to



become　personally　acquainted　with　the　missionaries　who　are



associated　with　him。　They　will　leave　Leghorn　in　the　next　vessel



which　sets　sail　for　a　port　in　Central　America。　And　the　dangerous



duty　intrusted　to　them　is　to　re…establish　one　of　the　Jesuit



Missions　destroyed　by　the　savages　years　since。　They　will　find



their　church　a　ruin；　and　not　a　vestige　left　of　the　house　once



inhabited　by　the　murdered　priests。　It　is　not　concealed　from　them



that　they　may　be　martyred；　too。　They　are　soldiers　of　the　Cross；



and　they　gowillingly　goto　save　the　souls　of　the　Indians；　at



the　peril　of　their　lives。〃







Romayne　rose；　and　advanced　to　the　door。　There；　he　turned；　and



spoke　to　Stella。　〃Where　is　Arthur？〃　he　said。







Stella　gently　detained　him。







〃There　was　one　word　more　he　entreated　me　to　saypray　wait　and



hear　it；〃　she　pleaded。　〃His　one　grief　is　at　leaving　You。　Apart



from　that；　he　devotes　himself　gladly　to　the　dreadful　service



which　claims　him。　He　has　long　looked　forward　to　it；　and　has　long



prepared　himself　for　it。　Those；　Lewis；　are　his　own　words。〃







There　was　a　knock　at　the　door。　The　servant　appeared；　to　announce



that　the　carriage　was　waiting。







Penrose　entered　the　room　as　the　man　left　it。







〃Have　you　spok　en　for　me？〃　he　said　to　Stella。　She　could　only



answer　him　by　a　gesture。　He　turned　to　Romayne　with　a　faint　smile。







〃The　saddest　of　all　words　must　be　spoken；〃　he　said。　〃Farewell！〃







Pale　and　trembling；　Romayne　took　his　hand。　〃Is　this　Father



Benwell's　doing？〃　he　asked。







〃No！〃　Penrose　answered　firmly。　〃In　Father　Benwell's　position　it



might　have　been　his　doing；　but　for　his　goodness　to　me。　For　the



first　time　since　I　have　known　him　he　has　shrunk　from　a



responsibility。　For　my　sake　he　has　left　it　to　Rome。　And　Rome　has



spoken。　Oh；　my　more　than　friendmy　brother　in　love！〃







His　voice　failed　him。　With　a　resolution　which　was　nothing　less



than　heroic　in　a　man　of　his　affectionate　nature；　he　recovered　his



composure。







〃Let　us　make　it　as　little　miserable　as　it　_can_　be；〃　he　said。　〃At



every　opportunity　we　will　write　to　each　other。　And；　who　knowsI



may　yet　come　back　to　you？　God　has　preserved　his　servants　in



dangers　as　great　as　any　that　I　shall　encounter。　May　that　merciful



God　bless　and　protect　you！　Oh；　Romayne；　what　happy　days　we　have



had　together！〃　His　last　powers　of　resistance　were　worn　out。　Tears



of　noble　sorrow　dimmed　the　friendly　eyes　which　had　never　once



looked　unkindly　on　the　brother　of　his　love。　He　kissed　Romayne。



〃Help　me　out！〃　he　said；　turning　blindly　toward　the　hall；　in　which



the　servant　was　waiting。　That　last　act　of　mercy　was　not　left　to　a



servant。　With　sisterly　tenderness；　Stella　took　his　hand　and　led



him　away。　〃I　shall　remember　you　gratefully　as　long　as　I　live；〃



she　said　to　him　when　the　carriage　door　was　closed。　He　waved　his



hand　at　the　window；　and　she　saw　him　no　more。







She　returned　to　the　study。







The　relief　of　tears　had　not　come　to　Romayne。　He　had　dropped　into



a　chair　when　Penrose　left　him。　In　stony　silence　he　sat　there；　his



head　down；　his　eyes　dry　and　staring。　The　miserable　days　of　their



estrangement　were　forgotten　by　his　wife　in　the　moment　when　she



looked　at　him。　She　knelt　by　his　side　and　lifted　his　head　a　little



and　laid　it　on　her　bosom。　Her　heart　was　fullshe　let　the　caress



plead　for　her　silently。　He　felt　it；　his　cold　fingers　pressed　her



hand　thankfully；　but　he　said　nothing。　After　a　long　interval；　the



first　outward　expression　of　sorrow　that　fell　from　his　lips　showed



that　he　was　still　thinking　of　Penrose。







〃Every　blessing　falls　away　from　me；〃　he　said。　〃I　have　lost　my



best　friend。〃







Years　afterward　Stella　reme