the black robe-第59章
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〃My only ambition is to lead a worthy life; and to be as useful
to my fellow…creatures as I can。 Does that satisfy you?〃
Romayne hesitated。 〃It seems strange〃 he began。
〃What seems strange?〃
〃I don't say it seems strange that you should be a priest;〃
Romayne explained。 〃I am only surprised that a man of your simple
way of thinking should have attached himself to the Order of the
Jesuits。〃
〃I can quite understand that;〃 said Penrose。 〃But you should
remember that circumstances often influence a man in his choice
of a vocation。 It has been so with me。 I am a member of a Roman
Catholic family。 A Jesuit College was near our place of abode;
and a near relative of minesince deadwas one of the resident
priests。〃 He paused; and added in a lower tone: 〃When I was
little more than a lad I suffered a disappointment; which altered
my character for life。 I took refuge in the College; and I have
found patience and peace of mind since that time。 Oh; my friend;
you might have been a more contented man〃 He stopped again。 His
interest in the husband had all but deceived him into forgetting
his promise to the wife。
Romayne held out his hand。 〃I hope I have not thoughtlessly hurt
you?〃 he said。
Penrose took the offered hand; and pressed it fervently。 He tried
to speakand suddenly shuddered; like a man in pain。 〃I am not
very well this morning;〃 he stammered; 〃a turn in the garden will
do me good。〃
Romayne's doubts were confirmed by the manner in which Penrose
left him。 Something had unquestionably happened; which his friend
shrank from communicating to him。 He sat down again at his desk
and tried to read。 The time passedand he was still left alone。
When the door was at last opened it was only Stella who entered
the room。
〃Have you seen Penrose?〃 he asked。
The estrangement between them had been steadily widening of late。
Romayne had expressed his resentment at his wife's interference
between Penrose and himself by that air of contemptuous endurance
which is the hardest penalty that a man can inflict on the woman
who loves him。 Stella had submitted with a proud and silent
resignationthe most unfortunate form of protest that she could
have adopted toward a man of Romayne's temper。 When she now
appeared; however; in her husband's study; there was a change in
her expression which he instantly noticed。 She looked at him with
eyes softened by sorrow。 Before she could answer his first
question; he hurriedly added another。 〃Is Penrose really ill?〃
〃No; Lewis。 He is distressed。〃
〃About what?〃
〃About you; and about himself。〃
〃Is he going to leave us?〃
〃Yes。〃
〃But he will come back again?〃
Stella took a chair by her husband's side。 〃I am truly sorry for
you; Lewis;〃 she said。 〃It is even a sad parting for Me。 If you
will let me say it; I have a sincere regard for dear Mr。
Penrose。〃
Under other circumstances; this confession of feeling for the man
who had sacrificed his dearest aspiration to the one
consideration of her happiness; might have provoked a sharp
reply。 But by this time Romayne had really become alarmed。 〃You
speak as if Arthur was going to leave England;〃 he said。
〃He leaves England this afternoon;〃 she answered; 〃for Rome。〃
〃Why does he tell this to you; and not to me?〃 Romayne asked。
〃He cannot trust himself to speak of it to you。 He begged me to
prepare you〃
Her courage failed her。 She paused。 Romayne beat his hand
impatiently on the desk before him。 〃Speak out!〃 he cried。 〃If
Rome is not the end of the journeywhat is?〃
Stella hesitated no longer。
〃He goes to Rome;〃 she said 〃to receive his instructions; and to
become personally acquainted with the missionaries who are
associated with him。 They will leave Leghorn in the next vessel
which sets sail for a port in Central America。 And the dangerous
duty intrusted to them is to re…establish one of the Jesuit
Missions destroyed by the savages years since。 They will find
their church a ruin; and not a vestige left of the house once
inhabited by the murdered priests。 It is not concealed from them
that they may be martyred; too。 They are soldiers of the Cross;
and they gowillingly goto save the souls of the Indians; at
the peril of their lives。〃
Romayne rose; and advanced to the door。 There; he turned; and
spoke to Stella。 〃Where is Arthur?〃 he said。
Stella gently detained him。
〃There was one word more he entreated me to saypray wait and
hear it;〃 she pleaded。 〃His one grief is at leaving You。 Apart
from that; he devotes himself gladly to the dreadful service
which claims him。 He has long looked forward to it; and has long
prepared himself for it。 Those; Lewis; are his own words。〃
There was a knock at the door。 The servant appeared; to announce
that the carriage was waiting。
Penrose entered the room as the man left it。
〃Have you spok en for me?〃 he said to Stella。 She could only
answer him by a gesture。 He turned to Romayne with a faint smile。
〃The saddest of all words must be spoken;〃 he said。 〃Farewell!〃
Pale and trembling; Romayne took his hand。 〃Is this Father
Benwell's doing?〃 he asked。
〃No!〃 Penrose answered firmly。 〃In Father Benwell's position it
might have been his doing; but for his goodness to me。 For the
first time since I have known him he has shrunk from a
responsibility。 For my sake he has left it to Rome。 And Rome has
spoken。 Oh; my more than friendmy brother in love!〃
His voice failed him。 With a resolution which was nothing less
than heroic in a man of his affectionate nature; he recovered his
composure。
〃Let us make it as little miserable as it _can_ be;〃 he said。 〃At
every opportunity we will write to each other。 And; who knowsI
may yet come back to you? God has preserved his servants in
dangers as great as any that I shall encounter。 May that merciful
God bless and protect you! Oh; Romayne; what happy days we have
had together!〃 His last powers of resistance were worn out。 Tears
of noble sorrow dimmed the friendly eyes which had never once
looked unkindly on the brother of his love。 He kissed Romayne。
〃Help me out!〃 he said; turning blindly toward the hall; in which
the servant was waiting。 That last act of mercy was not left to a
servant。 With sisterly tenderness; Stella took his hand and led
him away。 〃I shall remember you gratefully as long as I live;〃
she said to him when the carriage door was closed。 He waved his
hand at the window; and she saw him no more。
She returned to the study。
The relief of tears had not come to Romayne。 He had dropped into
a chair when Penrose left him。 In stony silence he sat there; his
head down; his eyes dry and staring。 The miserable days of their
estrangement were forgotten by his wife in the moment when she
looked at him。 She knelt by his side and lifted his head a little
and laid it on her bosom。 Her heart was fullshe let the caress
plead for her silently。 He felt it; his cold fingers pressed her
hand thankfully; but he said nothing。 After a long interval; the
first outward expression of sorrow that fell from his lips showed
that he was still thinking of Penrose。
〃Every blessing falls away from me;〃 he said。 〃I have lost my
best friend。〃
Years afterward Stella reme