when the world shook-第9章
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especially as he was 〃such a favourite and so handsome。〃 (Bastin
was a fine looking man in his rugged way。)
I suggested that she might have a little confidence in him; to
which she replied darkly that she had no confidence in anybody。
The end of it was that I lent her the cart with a fast horse
and a good driver; and off she went。 Reaching the town in
question some two and a half hours later; she searched high and
low through wind and sleet; but found no Basil。 He; it appeared;
had gone on to Exeter; to look at the cathedral where some
building was being done; and missing the last train had there
slept the night。
About one in the morning; after being nearly locked up as a mad
woman; she drove back to the Vicarage; again to find no Basil。
Even then she did not go to bed but raged about the house in her
wet clothes; until she fell down utterly exhausted。 When her
husband did return on the following morning; full of information
about the cathedral; she was dangerously ill; and actually passed
away while uttering a violent tirade against him for his supposed
suspicious proceedings。
That was the end of this truly odious British matron。
In after days Bastin; by some peculiar mental process;
canonised her in his imagination as a kind of saint。 〃So loving;〃
he would say; 〃such a devoted wife! Why; my dear Humphrey; I can
assure you that even in the midst of her death…struggle her last
thoughts were of me;〃 words that caused Bickley to snort with
more than usual vigour; until I kicked him to silence beneath the
table。
Chapter IV
Death and Departure
Now I must tell of my own terrible sorrow; which turned my life
to bitterness and my hopes to ashes。
Never were a man and a woman happier together than I and
Natalie。 Mentally; physically; spiritually we were perfectly
mated; and we loved each other dearly。 Truly we were as one。 Yet
there was something about her which filled me with vague fears;
especially after she found that she was to become a mother。 I
would talk to her of the child; but she would sigh and shake her
head; her eyes filling with tears; and say that we must not count
on the continuance of such happiness as ours; for it was too
great。
I tried to laugh away her doubts; though whenever I did so I
seemed to hear Bastin's slow voice remarking casually that she
might die; as he might have commented on the quality of the
claret。 At last; however; I grew terrified and asked her bluntly
what she meant。
〃I don't quite know; dearest;〃 she replied; 〃especially as I am
wonderfully well。 Butbut〃
〃But what?〃 I asked。
〃But I think that our companionship is going to be broken for a
little while。〃
〃For a little while!〃 I exclaimed。
〃Yes; Humphrey。 I think that I shall be taken away from you
you know what I mean;〃 and she nodded towards the churchyard。
〃Oh; my God!〃 I groaned。
〃I want to say this;〃 she added quickly; 〃that if such' a thing
should happen; as it happens every day; I implore you; dearest
Humphrey; not to be too much distressed; since I am sure that you
will find me again。 No; I can't explain how or when or where;
because I do not know。 I have prayed for light; but it has not
come to me。 All I know is that I am not talking of reunion in Mr。
Bastin's kind of conventional heaven; which he speaks about as
though to reach it one stumbled through darkness for a minute
into a fine new house next door; where excellent servants had
made everything ready for your arrival and all the lights were
turned up。 It is something quite different from that and very
much more real。〃
Then she bent down ostensibly to pat the head of a little black
cocker spaniel called Tommy which had been given to her as a
puppy; a highly intelligent and affectionate animal that we both
adored and that loved her as only a dog can love。 Really; I knew;
it was to hide her tears; and fled from the room lest she should
see mine。
As I went I heard the dog whimpering in a peculiar way; as
though some sympathetic knowledge had been communicated to its
wonderful animal intelligence。
That night I spoke to Bickley about the matter; repeating
exactly what had passed。 As I expected; he smiled in his grave;
rather sarcastic way; and made light of it。
〃My dear Humphrey;〃 he said; 〃don't torment yourself about such
fancies。 They are of everyday occurrence among women in your
wife's condition。 Sometimes they take one form; sometimes
another。 When she has got her baby you will hear no more of
them。〃
I tried to be comforted but in vain。
The days and weeks went by like a long nightmare and in due
course the event happened。 Bickley was not attending the case; it
was not in his line; he said; and he preferred that where a
friend's wife was concerned; somebody else should be called in。
So it was put in charge of a very good local man with a large
experience in such domestic matters。
How am I to tell of it? Everything went wrong; as for the
details; let them be。 Ultimately Bickley did operate; and if
surpassing skill could have saved her; it would have been done。
But the other man had misjudged the conditions; it was too late;
nothing could help either mother or child; a little girl who died
shortly after she was born but not before she had been
christened; also by the name of Natalie。
I was called in to say farewell to my wife and found her
radiant; triumphant even in her weakness。
〃I know now;〃 she whispered in a faint voice。 〃I understood as
the chloroform passed away; but I cannot tell you。 Everything is
quite well; my darling。 Go where you seem called to go; far away。
Oh! the wonderful place in which you will find me; not knowing
that you have found me。 Good…bye for a little while; only for a
little while; my own; my own!〃
Then she died。 And for a time I too seemed to die; but could
not。 I buried her and the child here at Fulcombe; or rather I
buried their ashes since I could not endure that her beloved body
should see corruption。
Afterwards; when all was over; I spoke of these last words of
Natalie's with both Bickley and Bastin; for somehow I seemed to
wish to learn their separate views。
The latter I may explain; had been present at the end in his
spiritual capacity; but I do not think that he in the least
understood the nature of the drama which was passing before his
eyes。 His prayers and the christening absorbed all his attention;
and he never was a man who could think of more than one thing at
a time。
When I told him exactly what had happened and repeated the
words that Natalie spoke; he was much interested in his own
nebulous way; and said that it was delightful to meet with an
example of a good Christian; such as my wife had been; who
actually saw something of Heaven before she had gone there。 His
own faith was; he thanked God; fairly robust; but still an
undoubted occurrence of the sort acted as a refreshment; 〃like
rain on a pasture when it is rather dry; you know;〃 he added;
breaking into simile。
I remarked that she had not seemed to speak in the sense he
indicated; but appeared to allude to something quite near at hand
and more or less immediate。
〃I don't know that there is anything nearer at hand than the
Hereafter;〃 he answered。 〃I expect she meant that you will
probably soon die and join her in Paradise; if you are worthy to
do so。 But of course it is not wise to put too much reliance upon
words spoken by people at the last; because often they don't
quite know what they are saying。 Indeed sometimes I think this
was so in the case of my own wife; who really seemed to me to
talk a good deal of rubbish。 Good…bye; I promised to see Widow
Jenkins this afternoon about having her varicose veins cut out;
and I mustn't stop here wasting time in pleasant conversation。
She thinks just as much of her varicose veins as we do of the