the essays of montaigne, v15-第5章
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liberty； but having once submitted to obligation； he must confine himself
within the laws of common duty； at least； do what he can towards it。
They who engage in this contract； with a design to carry themselves in it
with hatred and contempt； do an unjust and inconvenient thing； and the
fine rule that I hear pass from hand to hand amongst the women； as a
sacred oracle：
＇〃Serve thy husband as thy master； but guard thyself against him as
from a traitor。〃＇
which is to say； comport thyself towards him with a dissembled； inimical；
and distrustful reverence （a cry of war and defiance）； is equally
injurious and hard。 I am too mild for such rugged designs： to say the
truth； I am not arrived to that perfection of ability and refinement of
wit； to confound reason with injustice； and to laugh at all rule and
order that does not please my palate； because I hate superstition； I do
not presently run into the contrary extreme of irreligion。
（If a man hate superstition he cannot love religion。 D。W。）
If a man does not always perform his duty； he ought at least to love and
acknowledge it； 'tis treachery to marry without espousing。
Let us proceed。
Our poet represents a marriage happy in a good accord wherein
nevertheless there is not much loyalty。 Does he mean； that it is not
impossible but a woman may give the reins to her own passion； and yield
to the importunities of love； and yet reserve some duty toward marriage；
and that it may be hurt； without being totally broken？ A serving man may
cheat his master； whom nevertheless he does not hate。 Beauty；
opportunity； and destiny （for destiny has also a hand in't）；
〃Fatum est in partibus illis
Quas sinus abscondit； nam； si tibi sidera cessent；
Nil faciet longi mensura incognita nervi；〃
＇〃There is a fatality about the hidden parts： let nature have
endowed you however liberally； 'tis of no use； if your good star
fails you in the nick of time。〃Juvenal； ix。 32。＇
have attached her to a stranger； though not so wholly； peradventure； but
that she may have some remains of kindness for her husband。 They are two
designs； that have several paths leading to them； without being
confounded with one another； a woman may yield to a man she would by no
means have married； not only for the condition of his fortune； but for
those also of his person。 Few men have made a wife of a mistress； who
have not repented it。 And even in the other world； what an unhappy life
does Jupiter lead with his； whom he had first enjoyed as a mistress！
'Tis； as the proverb runs； to befoul a basket and then put it upon one's
head。 I have in my time； in a good family； seen love shamefully and
dishonestly cured by marriage： the considerations are widely different。
We love at once； without any tie； two things contrary in themselves。
Socrates was wont to say； that the city of Athens pleased； as ladies do
whom men court for love； every one loved to come thither to take a turn；
and pass away his time； but no one liked it so well as to espouse it；
that is； to inhabit there； and to make it his constant residence。 I have
been vexed to see husbands hate their wives only because they themselves
do them wrong； we should not； at all events； methinks； love them the less
for our own faults； they should at least； upon the account of repentance
and compassion； be dearer to us。
They are different ends； he says； and yet in some sort compatible；
marriage has utility； justice； honour； and constancy for its share；
a flat； but more universal pleasure： love founds itself wholly upon
pleasure； and； indeed； has it more full； lively； and sharp； a pleasure
inflamed by difficulty； there must be in it sting and smart： 'tis no
longer love； if without darts and fire。 The bounty of ladies is too
profuse in marriage； and dulls the point of affection and desire： to
evade which inconvenience； do but observe what pains Lycurgus and Plato
take in their laws。
Women are not to blame at all； when they refuse the rules of life that
are introduced into the world； forasmuch as the men make them without
their help。 There is naturally contention and brawling betwixt them and
us； and the strictest friendship we have with them is yet mixed with
tumult and tempest。 In the opinion of our author； we deal
inconsiderately with them in this： after we have discovered that they
are； without comparison； more able and ardent in the practice of love
than we； and that the old priest testified as much； who had been one
while a man； and then a woman：
〃Venus huic erat utraque nota：〃
＇〃Both aspects of love were known to him；〃
Tiresias。 Ovid。 Metam。； iii。 323。＇
and moreover； that we have learned from their own mouths the proof that；
in several ages； was made by an Emperor and Empress of Rome；＇Proclus。＇
both famous for ability in that affair！ for he in one night deflowered
ten Sarmatian virgins who were his captives： but she had five…and…twenty
bouts in one night； changing her man according to her need and liking；
〃Adhuc ardens rigidae tentigine vulvae
Et lassata viris； nondum satiata； recessit：〃
＇〃Ardent still； she retired； fatigued； but not satisfied。〃
Juvenal； vi。 128。＇
and that upon the dispute which happened in Cataluna； wherein a wife
complaining of her husband's too frequent addresses to her； not so much；
as I conceive； that she was incommodated by it （for I believe no miracles
out of religion） as under this pretence； to curtail and curb in this；
which is the fundamental act of marriage； the authority of husbands over
their wives； and to shew that their frowardness and malignity go beyond
the nuptial bed； and spurn under foot even the graces and sweets of
Venus； the husband； a man truly brutish and unnatural； replied； that even
on fasting days he could not subsist with less than ten courses：
whereupon came out that notable sentence of the Queen of Arragon； by
which； after mature deliberation of her council； this good queen； to give
a rule and example to all succeeding ages of the moderation required in
a just marriage； set down six times a day as a legitimate and necessary
stint； surrendering and quitting a great deal of the needs and desires of
her sex； that she might； she said； establish an easy； and consequently； a
permanent and immutable rule。 Hereupon the doctors cry out： what must
the female appetite and concupiscence be； when their reason； their
reformation and virtue； are taxed at such a rate； considering the divers
judgments of our appetites？ for Solon； master of the law school； taxes
us but at three a month；that men may not fail in point of conjugal
frequentation： after having； I say； believed and preached all this； we go
and enjoin them continency for their particular share； and upon the last
and extreme penalties。
There is no passion so hard to contend with as this； which we would have
them only resist； not simply as an ordinary vice； but as an execrable
abomination； worse than irreligion and parricide； whilst we； at the same
time； go to't without offence or reproach。 Even those amongst us who
have tried the experiment have sufficiently confessed what difficulty； or
rather impossibility； they have found by material remedies to subdue；
weaken； and cool the body。 We； on the contrary； would have them at once
sound； vigorous plump； high…fed； and chaste； that is to say； both hot and
cold； for the marriage； which we tell them is to keep them from burning；
is but small refreshment to them； as we order the matter。 If they take
one whose vigorous age is yet boiling； he will be proud to make it known
elsewhere；
〃Sit tandem pudor； aut eamus in jus；
Multis mentula millibus redempta；
Non est haec tua； Basse； vendidisti；〃
＇〃Let there be some shame； or we shall go to law： your vigour；
bought by your wife with many thousands； is no longer yours： thou
hast sold it。〃Martial； xii。 90。＇
Polemon the philosopher was justly by his wife brought before the judge
for sowing in a barren fi
