the essays of montaigne, v15-第4章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
what they will； they marry as much or more for their posterity and
family； the custom and interest of marriage concern our race much more
than us； and therefore it is； that I like to have a match carried on by a
third hand rather than a man's own； and by another man's liking than that
of the party himself； and how much is all this opposite to the
conventions of love？ And also it is a kind of incest to employ in this
venerable and sacred alliance the heat and extravagance of amorous
licence； as I think I have said elsewhere。 A man； says Aristotle； must
approach his wife with prudence and temperance； lest in dealing too
lasciviously with her； the extreme pleasure make her exceed the bounds of
reason。 What he says upon the account of conscience； the physicians say
upon the account of health： 〃that a pleasure excessively lascivious；
voluptuous； and frequent； makes the seed too hot； and hinders
conception〃： 'tis said； elsewhere； that to a languishing intercourse； as
this naturally is； to supply it with a due and fruitful heat； a man must
do it but seldom and at appreciable intervals：
〃Quo rapiat sitiens Venerem； interiusque recondat。〃
＇〃But let him thirstily snatch the joys of love and enclose them in
his bosom。〃Virg。； Georg。； iii。 137。＇
I see no marriages where the conjugal compatibility sooner fails than
those that we contract upon the account of beauty and amorous desires；
there should be more solid and constant foundation； and they should
proceed with greater circumspection； this furious ardour is worth
nothing。
They who think they honour marriage by joining love to it； do； methinks；
like those who； to favour virtue； hold that nobility is nothing else but
virtue。 They are indeed things that have some relation to one another；
but there is a great deal of difference； we should not so mix their names
and titles； 'tis a wrong to them both so to confound them。 Nobility is a
brave quality； and with good reason introduced； but forasmuch as 'tis a
quality depending upon others； and may happen in a vicious person； in
himself nothing； 'tis in estimate infinitely below virtue'；
＇〃If nobility be virtue； it loses its quality in all things wherein
not virtuous： and if it be not virtue； 'tis a small matter。〃
La Byuyere。＇
'tis a virtue； if it be one； that is artificial and apparent； depending
upon time and fortune： various in form； according to the country； living
and mortal； without birth； as the river Nile； genealogical and common；；
of succession and similitude； drawn by consequence； and a very weak one。
Knowledge； strength； goodness； beauty； riches； and all other qualities；
fall into communication and commerce； but this is consummated in itself；
and of no use to the service of others。 There was proposed to one of our
kings the choice of two candidates for the same command； of whom one was
a gentleman； the other not； he ordered that； without respect to quality；
they should choose him who had the most merit； but where the worth of the
competitors should appear to be entirely equal； they should have respect
to birth： this was justly to give it its rank。 A young man unknown；
coming to Antigonus to make suit for his father's command； a valiant man
lately dead： 〃Friend；〃 said he；〃 in such preferments as these； I have not
so much regard to the nobility of my soldiers as to their prowess。〃
And； indeed； it ought not to go as it did with the officers of the kings
of Sparta； trumpeters； fiddlers； cooks； the children of whom always
succeeded to their places； how ignorant soever； and were preferred before
the most experienced in the trade。 They of Calicut make of nobles a sort
of superhuman persons： they are interdicted marriage and all but warlike
employments： they may have of concubines their fill； and the women as
many lovers； without being jealous of one another； but 'tis a capital and
irremissible crime to couple with a person of meaner conditions than
themselves； and they think themselves polluted； if they have but touched
one in walking along； and supposing their nobility to be marvellously
interested and injured in it； kill such as only approach a little too
near them： insomuch that the ignoble are obliged to cry out as they walk；
like the gondoliers of Venice； at the turnings of streets for fear of
jostling； and the nobles command them to step aside to what part they
please： by that means these avoid what they repute a perpetual ignominy；
those certain death。 No time； no favour of the prince； no office； or
virtue； or riches； can ever prevail to make a plebeian become noble： to
which this custom contributes； that marriages are interdicted betwixt
different trades； the daughter of one of the cordwainers' gild is not
permitted to marry a carpenter； and parents are obliged to train up their
children precisely in their own callings； and not put them to any other
trade； by which means the distinction and continuance of their fortunes
are maintained。
A good marriage； if there be any such； rejects the company and conditions
of love； and tries to represent those of friendship。 'Tis a sweet
society of life； full of constancy； trust； and an infinite number of
useful and solid services and mutual obligations； which any woman who has
a right taste：
〃Optato quam junxit lumine taeda〃
＇〃Whom the marriage torch has joined with the desired light。〃
Catullus； lxiv。 79。＇
would be loth to serve her husband in quality of a mistress。 If she be
lodged in his affection as a wife； she is more honourably and securely
placed。 When he purports to be in love with another； and works all he
can to obtain his desire； let any one but ask him； on which he had rather
a disgrace should fall； his wife or his mistress； which of their
misfortunes would most afflict him； and to which of them he wishes the
most grandeur； the answer to these questions is out of dispute in a sound
marriage。
And that so few are observed to be happy； is a token of its price and
value。 If well formed and rightly taken； 'tis the best of all human
societies； we cannot live without it； and yet we do nothing but decry it。
It happens； as with cages； the birds without despair to get in； and those
within despair of getting out。 Socrates being asked； whether it was more
commodious to take a wife or not； 〃Let a man take which course he will；〃
said he； 〃he will repent。〃 'Tis a contract to which the common
saying：
〃Homo homini aut deus aut lupus；〃
＇〃Man to man is either a god or a wolf。〃Erasmus； Adag。＇
may very fitly be applied； there must be a concurrence of many qualities
in the construction。 It is found nowadays more convenient for simple and
plebeian souls； where delights； curiosity； and idleness do not so much
disturb it； but extravagant humours； such as mine； that hate all sorts of
obligation and restraint； are not so proper for it：
〃Et mihi dulce magis resoluto vivere collo。〃
＇〃And it is sweet to me to live with a loosened neck。〃
Pseudo Gallus； i。 61。＇
Might I have had my own will； I would not have married Wisdom herself； if
she would have had me。 But 'tis to much purpose to evade it； the common
custom and usance of life will have it so。 The most of my actions are
guided by example； not by choice； and yet I did not go to it of my own
voluntary motion； I was led and drawn to it by extrinsic occasions； for
not only things that are incommodious in themselves； but also things
however ugly； vicious； and to be avoided； may be rendered acceptable by
some condition or accident； so unsteady and vain is all human resolution！
and I was persuaded to it； when worse prepared and less tractable than I
am at present； that I have tried what it is： and as great a libertine as
I am taken to be； I have in truth more strictly observed the laws of
marriage； than I either promised or expected。 'Tis in vain to kick； when
a man has once put on his fetters： a man must prudently manage his
liberty； but having once submitted to obligation； he must confine himself
within the laws of common duty； at least； do what he can towards it。
They who engage i
