the courtship of susan bell-第8章
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love。
After that the winter became very sad indeed。 Mrs。 Bell thought it
to be her duty now to teach her daughter that in all probability she
would see Aaron Dunn no more。 It was open to him to leave her
without being absolutely a wolf。 He had been driven from the house
when he was poor； and they had no right to expect that he would
return； now that he had made some rise in the world。 〃Men do amuse
themselves in that way；〃 the widow tried to teach her。
〃He is not like that； mother；〃 she said again。
〃But they do not think so much of these things as we do；〃 urged the
mother。
〃Don't they？〃 said Susan； oh； so sorrowfully； and so through the
whole long winter months she became paler and paler； and thinner and
thinner。
And then Hetta tried to console her with religion； and that perhaps
did not make things any better。 Religious consolation is the best
cure for all griefs； but it must not be looked for specially with
regard to any individual sorrow。 A religious man； should he become
bankrupt through the misfortunes of the world； will find true
consolation in his religion even for that sorrow。 But a bankrupt；
who has not thought much of such things； will hardly find solace by
taking up religion for that special occasion。
And Hetta perhaps was hardly prudent in her attempts。 She thought
that it was wicked in Susan to grow thin and pale for love of Aaron
Dunn； and she hardly hid her thoughts。 Susan was not sure but that
it might be wicked； but this doubt in no way tended to make her
plump or rosy。 So that in those days she found no comfort in her
sister。
But her mother's pity and soft love did ease her sufferings； though
it could not make them cease。 Her mother did not tell her that she
was wicked； or bid her read long sermons； or force her to go oftener
to the meeting…house。
〃He will never come again； I think；〃 she said one day； as with a
shawl wrapped around her shoulders； she leant with her head upon her
mother's bosom。
〃My own darling；〃 said the mother； pressing her child closely to her
side。
〃You think he never will； eh； mother？〃 What could Mrs。 Bell say？
In her heart of hearts she did not think he ever would come again。
〃No； my child。 I do not think he will。〃 And then the hot tears ran
down； and the sobs came thick and frequent。
〃My darling； my darling！〃 exclaimed the mother； and they wept
together。
〃Was I wicked to love him at the first；〃 she asked that night。
〃No； my child； you were not wicked at all。 At least I think not。〃
〃Then why〃 Why was he sent away？ It was on her tongue to ask
that question； but she paused and spared her mother。 This was as
they were going to bed。 The next morning Susan did not get up。 She
was not ill； she said； but weak and weary。 Would her mother let her
lie that day？ And then Mrs。 Bell went down alone to her room； and
sorrowed with all her heart for the sorrow of her child。 Why； oh
why； had she driven away from her door…sill the love of an honest
man？
On the next morning Susan again did not get up；nor did she hear；
or if she heard she did not recognise； the step of the postman who
brought a letter to the door。 Early； before the widow's breakfast；
the postman came； and the letter which he brought was as follows：…
〃MY DEAR MRS。 BELL；
〃I have now got a permanent situation on the Erie line； and the
salary is enough for myself and a wife。 At least I think so； and I
hope you will too。 I shall be down at Saratoga to…morrow evening；
and I hope neither Susan nor you will refuse to receive me。
〃Yours affectionately；
〃AARON DUNN。〃
That was all。 It was very short； and did not contain one word of
love； but it made the widow's heart leap for joy。 She was rather
afraid that Aaron was angry； he wrote so curtly and with such a
brusque business…like attention to mere facts； but surely he could
have but one object in coming there。 And then he alluded specially
to a wife。 So the widow's heart leapt with joy。
But how was she to tell Susan？ She ran up stairs almost breathless
with haste； to the bedroom door； but then she stopped； too much joy
she had heard was as dangerous as too much sorrow； she must think it
over for a while； and so she crept back again。
But after breakfastthat is； when she had sat for a while over her
teacupshe returned to the room； and this time she entered it。 The
letter was in her hand； but held so as to be hidden；in her left
hand as she sat down with her right arm towards the invalid。
〃Susan dear；〃 she said； and smiled at her child； 〃you'll be able to
get up this morning？ eh； dear？〃
〃Yes； mother；〃 said Susan； thinking that her mother objected to this
idleness of her lying in bed。 And so she began to bestir herself。
〃I don't mean this very moment； love。 Indeed； I want to sit with
you for a little while；〃 and she put her right arm affectionately
round her daughter's waist。
〃Dearest mother；〃 said Susan。
〃Ah！ there's one dearer than me； I guess；〃 and Mrs。 Bell smiled
sweetly； as she made the maternal charge against her daughter。
Susan raised herself quickly in the bed； and looked straight into
her mother's face。 〃Mother； mother；〃 she said； 〃what is it？ You've
something to tell。 Oh； mother！〃 And stretching herself over； she
struck her hand against the corner of Aaron's letter。 〃Mother；
you've a letter。 Is he coming； mother？〃 and with eager eyes and
open lips； she sat up； holding tight to her mother's arm。
〃Yes； love。 I have got a letter。〃
〃Is heis he coming？〃
How the mother answered； I can hardly tell； but she did answer； and
they were soon lying in each other's arms； warm with each other's
tears。 It was almost hard to say which was the happier。
Aaron was to be there that eveningthat very evening。 〃Oh； mother；
let me get up；〃 said Susan。
But Mrs。 Bell said no； not yet； her darling was pale and thin； and
she almost wished that Aaron was not coming for another week。 What
if he should come and look at her； and finding her beauty gone；
vanish again and seek a wife elsewhere！
So Susan lay in bed； thinking of her happiness； dozing now and
again； and fearing as she waked that it was a dream； looking
constantly at that drawing of his； which she kept outside upon the
bed； nursing her love and thinking of it； and endeavouring； vainly
endeavouring； to arrange what she would say to him。
〃Mother；〃 she said； when Mrs。 Bell once went up to her； 〃you won't
tell Hetta and Phineas； will you？ Not to…day； I mean？〃 Mrs。 Bell
agreed that it would be better not to tell them。 Perhaps she
thought that she had already depended too much on Hetta and Phineas
in the matter。
Susan's finery in the way of dress had never been extensive； and now
lately； in these last sad winter days； she had thought but little of
the fashion of her clothes。 But when she began to dress herself for
the evening； she did ask her mother with some anxiety what she had
better wear。 〃If he loves you he will hardly see what you have on；〃
said the mother。 But not the less was she careful to smooth her
daughter's hair； and make the most that might be made of those faded
roses。
How Susan's heart beat；how both their hearts beat as the hands of
the clock came round to seven！ And then； sharp at seven； came the
knock； that same short bold ringing knock which Susan had so soon
learned to know as belonging to Aaron Dunn。 〃Oh mother； I had
better go up stairs；〃 she cried； starting from her chair。
〃No dear； you would only be more nervous。〃
〃I will； mother。〃
〃No； no； dear； you have not time；〃 and then Aaron Dunn was in the
room。
She had thought much what she would say to him； but had not yet
quite made up her mind。 It mattered however but very little。 On
whatever she might have resolved； her resolution would have vanished
to the wind。 Aaron Dunn came into the room； and in one second she
found herself in the centre of a whirlwind； and his arms were the
storms that enveloped her on every side。
〃My own； own darling girl；〃 he said over and over again； as he
pressed her to his heart； quite regardless of Mrs。 Bell； who stood
by； sobbing with joy。 〃My own Susan。〃
〃Aaron； dear Aaron；〃 she whispered。 But she
