the lifted veil-第2章

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hands；　and　pressed　it　here　and　there　in　an　exploratory；　auspicious
mannerthen　placed　each　of　his　great　thumbs　on　my　temples；　and
pushed　me　a　little　way　from　him；　and　stared　at　me　with　glittering
spectacles。　　The　contemplation　appeared　to　displease　him；　for　he
frowned　sternly；　and　said　to　my　father；　drawing　his　thumbs　across
my　eyebrows　…

〃The　deficiency　is　there；　sirthere；　and　here；〃　he　added；　touching
the　upper　sides　of　my　head；　〃here　is　the　excess。　　That　must　be
brought　out；　sir；　and　this　must　be　laid　to　sleep。〃

I　was　in　a　state　of　tremor；　partly　at　the　vague　idea　that　I　was　the
object　of　reprobation；　partly　in　the　agitation　of　my　first　hatred
hatred　of　this　big；　spectacled　man；　who　pulled　my　head　about　as　if
he　wanted　to　buy　and　cheapen　it。

I　am　not　aware　how　much　Mr。　Letherall　had　to　do　with　the　system
afterwards　adopted　towards　me；　but　it　was　presently　clear　that
private　tutors；　natural　history；　science；　and　the　modern　languages；
were　the　appliances　by　which　the　defects　of　my　organization　were　to
be　remedied。　　I　was　very　stupid　about　machines；　so　I　was　to　be
greatly　occupied　with　them；　I　had　no　memory　for　classification；　so
it　was　particularly　necessary　that　I　should　study　systematic
zoology　and　botany；　I　was　hungry　for　human　deeds　and　humane
motions；　so　I　was　to　be　plentifully　crammed　with　the　mechanical
powers；　the　elementary　bodies；　and　the　phenomena　of　electricity　and
magnetism。　　A　better…constituted　boy　would　certainly　have　profited
under　my　intelligent　tutors；　with　their　scientific　apparatus；　and
would；　doubtless；　have　found　the　phenomena　of　electricity　and
magnetism　as　fascinating　as　I　was；　every　Thursday；　assured　they
were。　　As　it　was；　I　could　have　paired　off；　for　ignorance　of
whatever　was　taught　me；　with　the　worst　Latin　scholar　that　was　ever
turned　out　of　a　classical　academy。　　I　read　Plutarch；　and
Shakespeare；　and　Don　Quixote　by　the　sly；　and　supplied　myself　in
that　way　with　wandering　thoughts；　while　my　tutor　was　assuring　me
that　〃an　improved　man；　as　distinguished　from　an　ignorant　one；　was　a
man　who　knew　the　reason　why　water　ran　downhill。〃　　I　had　no　desire
to　be　this　improved　man；　I　was　glad　of　the　running　water；　I　could
watch　it　and　listen　to　it　gurgling　among　the　pebbles；　and　bathing
the　bright　green　water…plants；　by　the　hour　together。　　I　did　not
want　to　know　WHY　it　ran；　I　had　perfect　confidence　that　there　were
good　reasons　for　what　was　so　very　beautiful。

There　is　no　need　to　dwell　on　this　part　of　my　life。　　I　have　said
enough　to　indicate　that　my　nature　was　of　the　sensitive；　unpractical
order；　and　that　it　grew　up　in　an　uncongenial　medium；　which　could
never　foster　it　into　happy；　healthy　development。　　When　I　was
sixteen　I　was　sent　to　Geneva　to　complete　my　course　of　education；
and　the　change　was　a　very　happy　one　to　me；　for　the　first　sight　of
the　Alps；　with　the　setting　sun　on　them；　as　we　descended　the　Jura；
seemed　to　me　like　an　entrance　into　heaven；　and　the　three　years　of
my　life　there　were　spent　in　a　perpetual　sense　of　exaltation；　as　if
from　a　draught　of　delicious　wine；　at　the　presence　of　Nature　in　all
her　awful　loveliness。　　You　will　think；　perhaps；　that　I　must　have
been　a　poet；　from　this　early　sensibility　to　Nature。　　But　my　lot　was
not　so　happy　as　that。　　A　poet　pours　forth　his　song　and　BELIEVES　in
the　listening　ear　and　answering　soul；　to　which　his　song　will　be
floated　sooner　or　later。　　But　the　poet's　sensibility　without　his
voicethe　poet's　sensibility　that　finds　no　vent　but　in　silent
tears　on　the　sunny　bank；　when　the　noonday　light　sparkles　on　the
water；　or　in　an　inward　shudder　at　the　sound　of　harsh　human　tones；
the　sight　of　a　cold　human　eyethis　dumb　passion　brings　with　it　a
fatal　solitude　of　soul　in　the　society　of　one's　fellow…men。　　My
least　solitary　moments　were　those　in　which　I　pushed　off　in　my　boat；
at　evening；　towards　the　centre　of　the　lake；　it　seemed　to　me　that
the　sky；　and　the　glowing　mountain…tops；　and　the　wide　blue　water；
surrounded　me　with　a　cherishing　love　such　as　no　human　face　had　shed
on　me　since　my　mother's　love　had　vanished　out　of　my　life。　　I　used
to　do　as　Jean　Jacques　didlie　down　in　my　boat　and　let　it　glide
where　it　would；　while　I　looked　up　at　the　departing　glow　leaving　one
mountain…top　after　the　other；　as　if　the　prophet's　chariot　of　fire
were　passing　over　them　on　its　way　to　the　home　of　light。　　Then；　when
the　white　summits　were　all　sad　and　corpse…like；　I　had　to　push
homeward；　for　I　was　under　careful　surveillance；　and　was　allowed　no
late　wanderings。　　This　disposition　of　mine　was　not　favourable　to
the　formation　of　intimate　friendships　among　the　numerous　youths　of
my　own　age　who　are　always　to　be　found　studying　at　Geneva。　　Yet　I
made　ONE　such　friendship；　and；　singularly　enough；　it　was　with　a
youth　whose　intellectual　tendencies　were　the　very　reverse　of　my
own。　　I　shall　call　him　Charles　Meunier；　his　real　surnamean
English　one；　for　he　was　of　English　extractionhaving　since　become
celebrated。　　He　was　an　orphan；　who　lived　on　a　miserable　pittance
while　he　pursued　the　medical　studies　for　which　he　had　a　special
genius。　　Strange！　that　with　my　vague　mind；　susceptible　and
unobservant；　hating　inquiry　and　given　up　to　contemplation；　I　should
have　been　drawn　towards　a　youth　whose　strongest　passion　was
science。　　But　the　bond　was　not　an　intellectual　one；　it　came　from　a
source　that　can　happily　blend　the　stupid　with　the　brilliant；　the
dreamy　with　the　practical：　　it　came　from　community　of　feeling。
Charles　was　poor　and　ugly；　derided　by　Genevese　gamins；　and　not
acceptable　in　drawing…rooms。　　I　saw　that　he　was　isolated；　as　I　was；
though　from　a　different　cause；　and；　stimulated　by　a　sympathetic
resentment；　I　made　timid　advances　towards　him。　　It　is　enough　to　say
that　there　sprang　up　as　much　comradeship　between　us　as　our
different　habits　would　allow；　and　in　Charles's　rare　holidays　we
went　up　the　Saleve　together；　or　took　the　boat　to　Vevay；　while　I
listened　dreamily　to　the　monologues　in　which　he　unfolded　his　bold
conceptions　of　future　experiment　and　discovery。　　I　mingled　them
confusedly　in　my　thought　with　glimpses　of　blue　water　and　delicate
floating　cloud；　with　the　notes　of　birds　and　the　distant　glitter　of
the　glacier。　　He　knew　quite　well　that　my　mind　was　half　absent；　yet
he　liked　to　talk　to　me　in　this　way；　for　don't　we　talk　of　our　hopes
and　our　projects　even　to　dogs　and　birds；　when　they　love　us？　　I　have
mentioned　this　one　friendship　because　of　its　connexion　with　a
strange　and　terrible　scene　which　I　shall　have　to　narrate　in　my
subsequent　life。

This　happier　life　at　Geneva　was　put　an　end　to　by　a　severe　illness；
which　is　partly　a　blank　to　me；　partly　a　time　of　dimly…remembered
suffering；　with　the　presence　of　my　father　by　my　bed　from　time　to
time。　　Then　came　the　languid　monotony　of　convalescence；　the　days
gradually　breaking　into　variety　and　distinctness　as　my　strength
enabled　me　to　take　longer　and　longer　drives。　　On　one　of　these　more
vividly　remembered　days；　my　father　said　to　me；　as　he　sat　beside　my
sofa　…

〃When　you　are　quite　well　enough　to　travel；　Latimer；　I　shall　take
you　home　with　me。　　The　journey　will　amuse　you　and　do　you　good；　for
I　shall　go　through　the　Tyrol　and　Austria；　and　you　will　see　many　new
places。　　Our　neighbours；　the　Filmores；　are　come；　Alfred　will　join
us　at　Basle；　and　we　shall　all　go　together　to　Vienna；　and　back　by
Prague〃　。　。　。

My　father　was　called　away　before　he　had　finished　his　sentence；　and
he　left　my　mind　resting　on　the　word　PRAGUE；　with　a　strange　sense
that　a　new　and　wondrous　scene　was　breaking　upon　me：　　a　city　under
the　broad　sunshine；　that　seemed　to　me　as　if　it　were　the　summer
sunshine　of　a　long…past　century　arrested　in　its　courseunrefreshed
for　ages　by　dews　of　night；　or　the　rushing　rain…cloud；　scorching　the
dusty；　weary；　time…eaten　grandeur　of　a　people　doomed　to　live　on　in
the　stale　repetition　of　memories；　like　deposed　and　superannuated
kings　in　their　regal　gold…inwoven　tatters。　　The　city　looked　so
thirsty　that　the　broad　river　seemed　to　me　a　sheet　of　metal；　and　the
blackened　statues；　as　I　passed　under　their　blank　gaze；　along　the
unending　bridge；　with　their　ancient　garments　and　their　saintly
crowns；　seemed　to　me　the　real　inhabitants　and　owners　of　this　place；
while　the　busy；　trivial　me