the price she paid-第7章

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n　her　content　was　the　one　apparently　too　trivial　to　be　worthy　of　record。　From　girlhood　she　could　not　recall　a　single　day　in　which　she　had　not　suffered　from　her　feet。　　And　she　had　been　ashamed　to　say　anything　about　ithad　never　let　anyone；　even　her　maid；　see　her　feet；　which　were　about　the　only　unsightly　part　of　her。　　None　had　guessed　the　cause　of　her　chronic　ill…temper　until　Presbury；　that　genius　for　the　little；　said　within　a　week　of　their　marriage：

‘‘You　talk　and　act　like　a　woman　with　chronic　corns。''

He　did　not　dream　of　the　effect　this　chance　thrust　had　upon　his　wife。　　For　the　first　time　he　had　really　‘‘landed。''　　She　concealed　her　fright　and　her　shame　as　best　she　could　and　went　on　quarreling　more　viciously　than　ever。　　But　he　presently　returned　to　the　attack。　Said　he：

‘‘Your　feet　hurt　you。　　I'm　sure　they　do。　　Now　that　I　think　of　it；　you　walk　that　way。''

‘‘I　suppose　I　deserve　my　fate；''　said　she。　　‘‘When　a　woman　marries　beneath　her　she　must　expect　insult　and　low　conversation。''

‘‘You　must　cure　your　feet；''　said　he。　　‘‘I'll　not　live　in　the　house　with　a　person　who　is　made　fiendish　by　corns。　I　think　it's　only　corns。　　I　see　no　signs　of　bunions。''

‘‘You　brute！''　cried　his　wife；　rushing　from　the　room。

But　when　they　met　again；　he　at　once　resumed　the　subject；　telling　her　just　how　she　could　cure　herselfand　he　kept　on　telling　her；　she　apparently　ignoring　but　secretly　acting　on　his　advice。　　He　knew　what　he　was　about；　and　her　feet　grew　better；　grew　welland　she　was　happier　than　she　had　been　since　girlhood　when　she　began　ruining　her　feet　with　tight　shoes。

Six　months　after　the　marriage；　Presbury　and　his　wife　were　getting　on　about　as　comfortably　as　it　is　given　to　average　humanity　to　get　on　in　this　world　of　incessant　struggle　between　uncomfortable　man　and　his　uncomfortable　environment。　　But　Mildred　had　become　more　and　more　unhappy。　　Her　mother；　sometimes　angrily；　again　reproachfullyand　that　was　far　harder　to　bear　blamed　her　for　‘‘my　miserable　marriage　to　this　low；　quarrelsome　brute。''　　Presbury　let　no　day　pass　without　telling　her　openly　that　she　was　a　beggar　living　off　him；　that　she　would　better　marry　soon　or　he　would　take　drastic　steps　to　release　himself　of　the　burden。　　When　he　attacked　her　before　her　mother；　there　was　a　violent　quarrel　from　which　Mildred　fled　to　hide　in　her　room　or　in　the　remotest　part　of　the　garden。　　When　he　hunted　her　out　to　insult　her　alone；　she　sat　or　stood　with　eyes　down　and　face　ghastly　pale；　mute；　quivering。　　She　did　not　inter…　rupt；　did　not　try　to　escape。　　She　was　like　the　chained　and　spiritless　dog　that　crouches　and　takes　the　shower　of　blows　from　its　cruel　master。

Where　could　she　go？　　Nowhere。　　What　could　she　do？　　Nothing。　　In　the　days　of　prosperity　she　had　regarded　herself　as　proud　and　high　spirited。　　She　now　wondered　at　herself！　　What　had　become　of　the　pride？　What　of　the　spirit？　　She　avoided　looking　at　her　image　in　the　glassthat　thin；　pallid　face；　those　circled　eyes；　the　drawn；　sick　expression　about　the　mouth　and　nose。　‘‘I'm　stunned；''　she　said　to　herself。　　‘‘I've　been　stunned　ever　since　father's　death。　　I've　never　recoverednor　has　mother。''　　And　she　gave　way　to　tearsfor　her　father；　she　fancied；　in　fact；　from　shame　at　her　weakness　and　helplessness。　　She　thoughthopedthat　she　would　not　be　thus　feeble　and　cowardly；　if　she　were　not　living　at　home；　in　the　house　she　loved；　the　house　where　she　had　spent　her　whole　life。　　And　such　a　house！　　Comfort　and　luxury　and　taste；　every　room；　every　corner　of　the　grounds；　full　of　the　tenderest　and　most　beautiful　associations。　　Also；　there　was　her　position　in　Hanging　Rock。　　Everywhere　else　she　would　be　a　stranger　and　would　have　either　no　position　at　all　or　one　worse　than　that　of　the　utter　outsider。　　There；　she　was　of　the　few　looked　up　to　by　the　whole　community。　　No　one　knew；　or　even　suspected；　how　she　was　degraded　by　her　step…　father。　　Before　the　world　he　was　courteous　and　considerate　toward　her　as　toward　everybody。　　Indeed；　Presbury's　natural　instincts　were　gentle　and　kindly。　　His　hatred　of　Mildred　and　his　passion　for　humiliating　her　were　the　result　of　his　conviction　that　he　had　been　tricked　into　the　marriage　and　his　inability　to　gratify　his　resentment　upon　his　wife。　　He　could　not　make　the　mother　suffer；　but　he　could　make　the　daughter　sufferand　he　did。　　Besides；　she　was　of　no　use　to　him　and　would　presently　be　an　expense。

‘‘Your　money　will　soon　be　gone；''　he　said　to　her。　‘‘If　you　paid　your　just　share　of　the　expenses　it　would　be　gone　now。　　When　it　is　gone；　what　will　you　do？''

She　was　silent。

‘‘Your　mother　has　written　to　your　brother　about　you。''

Mildred　lifted　her　head；　a　gleam　of　her　former　spirit　in　her　eyes。　　Then　she　remembered；　and　bent　her　gaze　upon　the　ground。

‘‘But　he；　like　the　cur　that　he　is；　answered　through　a　secretary　that　he　wished　to　have　nothing　to　do　with　either　of　you。''

Mildred　guessed　that　Frank　had　made　the　marriage　an　excuse。

‘‘Surely　some　of　your　relatives　will　do　something　for　you。　　I　have　my　hands　full；　supporting　your　mother。　I　don't　propose　to　have　two　strapping；　worthless　women　hanging　from　my　neck。''

She　bent　her　head　lower；　and　remained　silent。

‘‘I　warn　you　to　bestir　yourself；''　he　went　on。　　‘‘I　give　you　four　months。　　After　the　first　of　the　year　you　can't　stay　here　unless　you　pay　your　shareyour　third。''

No　answer。

‘‘You　hear　what　I　say；　miss？''　he　demanded。

‘‘Yes；''　replied　she。

‘‘If　you　had　any　sense　you　wouldn't　wait　until　your　last　cent　was　gone。　　You'd　go　to　New　York　now　and　get　something　to　do。''

‘‘What？''　she　askedall　she　could　trust　herself　to　speak。

‘‘How　should　_I_　know？''　retorted　he　furiously。　‘‘you　are　a　stranger　to　me。　　You've　been　educated；　I　assume。　　Surely　there's　something　you　can　do。　　You've　been　out　six　years　now；　and　have　had　no　success；　for　you're　neither　married　nor　engaged。　　You　can't　call　it　success　to　be　flattered　and　sought　by　people　who　wanted　invitations　to　this　house　when　it　was　a　social　center。''

He　paused　for　response　from　her。　　None　came。

‘‘You　admit　you　are　a　failure？''　he　said　sharply。

‘‘Yes；''　said　she。

‘‘You　must　have　realized　it　several　years　ago；''　he　went　on。　　‘‘Instead　of　allowing　your　mother　to　keep　on　wasting　money　in　entertaining　lavishly　here　to　give　you　a　chance　to　marry；　you　should　have　been　preparing　yourself　to　earn　a　living。''　　A　pause。　　‘‘Isn't　that　true；　miss？''

He　had　a　way　of　pronouncing　the　word　‘‘miss''　that　made　it　an　epithet；　a　sneer　at　her　unmarried　and　un…　marriageable　state。　　She　colored；　paled；　murmured：

‘‘Yes。''

‘‘Then；　better　late　than　never。　　You'll　do　well　to　follow　my　advice　and　go　to　New　York　and　look　about　you。''

‘‘I'llI'll　think　of　it；''　stammered　she。

And　she　did　think　of　it。　　But　in　all　her　life　she　had　never　considered　the　idea　of　money…making。　　That　was　something　for　men；　and　for　the　middle　and　lower　classes　while　Hanging　Rock　was　regarded　as　most　noisomely　middle　class　by　fashionable　people；　it　did　not　so　regard　itself。　　Money…making　was　not　for　ladies。　　Like　all　her　class；　she　was　a　constant　and　a　severe　critic　of　the　women　of　the　lower　orders　who　worked　for　her　as　milliners；　dressmakers；　shop…attendants；　cooks；　maids。　　But；　as　she　now　realized；　it　is　one　thing　to　pass　upon　the　work　of　others；　it　is　another　thing　to　do　work　oneself。　She　　There　was　literally　nothing　that　she　could　do。　Any　occupation；　even　the　most　menial；　was　either　beyond　her　skill　or　beyond　her　strength；　or　beyond　both。

Suddenly　she　recalled　that　she　could　sing。　　Her　prostrate　spirit　suddenly　leaped　erect。　　Yes；　she　could　sing！　Her　voice　had　been　praised　by　experts。　　Her　singing　had　been　in　demand　at　charity　entertainments　where　amateurs　had　to　compete　with　professionals。　　Then　down　she　dropped　again。　　She　sang　well　enough　to　know　how　badly　she　sangthe　long　and　toilsome　and　expensive　training　that　lay　between　her　and　operatic　or　concert　or　even　music…hall　stage。　　Her　voice　was　fine　at　times。　　Againmost　of　the　timeit　was　unreliable。　No；　she　could　not　hope　to　get　paying　employment　even　as　a　church　choir…singer。　　Miss　Dresser　who　sang　in　the　choir　of　the　Good　Shepherd　for　ten　dollars　a　Sunday；　had　not　nearly　so　good　a　voice　as　she；　but　it　was　reliable。

‘‘There　is　nothing　I　can　donothing！''

All　at　once；　with　no　apparent　bri