the price she paid-第31章

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　glance　seeking　to　investigate　the　rest　of　his　face　or　his　personality。　　She　looked　at　him　candidly；　calmly；　and　seeingly。　　Seeingly。　　With　eyes　that　saw　as　they　had　never　seen　before。　　Perhaps　from　the　death　of　her　father；　certainly　from　the　beginning　of　Siddall's　courtship；　Mildred　had　been　waking　up。　　There　is　a　part　of　our　naturethe　active　and　aggressive　part　that　sleeps　all　our　lives　long　or　becomes　atrophied　if　we　lead　lives　of　ease　and　secure　dependence。　　It　is　the　important　part　of　us；　toothe　part　that　determines　character。　　The　thing　that　completed　the　awakening　of　Mildred　was　her　acquaintance　with　Mrs。　Belloc。　That　positive　and　finely…poised　lady　fascinated　her；　influenced　her　powerfullygave　her　just　what　she　needed　at　the　particular　moment。　　The　vital　moments　in　life　are　not　the　crises　over　which　shallow　people　linger；　but　are　the　moments　where　we　met　and　absorbed　the　ideas　that　enabled　us　to　weather　these　crises。　　The　acquaintance　with　Mrs。　Belloc　was　one　of　those　vital　moments；　for；　Mrs。　Belloc's　personalityher　look　and　manner；　what　she　said　and　the　way　she　said　itwas　a　proffer　to　Mildred　of　invaluable　lessons　which　her　awakening　character　eagerly　absorbed。　　She　saw　Jennings　as　he　was。　　She　decided　that　he　was　of　common　origin；　that　his　vanity　was　colossal　and　aquiver　throughout　with　sensitiveness；　that　he　belonged　to　the　familiar　type　of　New…Yorker　who　succeeds　by　bluffing。　　Also；　she　saw　or　felt　a　certain　sexlessness　or　indifference　to　sexand　this　she　later　understood。　　Men　whose　occupation　compels　them　constantly　to　deal　with　women　go　to　one　extreme　or　the　othereither　become　acutely　sensitive　to　women　as　women　or　become　utterly　indifferent；　unless　their　highly　discriminated　taste　is　appealed　towhich　cannot　happen　often。　　Jennings；　teaching　only　women　because　only　women　spending　money　they　had　not　earned　and　could　not　earn　would　tolerate　his　terms　and　his　methods；　had；　as　much　through　necessity　as　through　inclination；　gone　to　the　extreme　of　lack　of　interest　in　all　matters　of　sex。　　One　look　at　him　and　the　woman　who　had　come　with　the　idea　of　offering　herself　in　full　or　part　payment　for　lessons　drooped　in　instinctive　discouragement。

Jennings　hastened　to　explain　to　Mildred　that　she　need　not　hesitate　about　closing　with　Mrs。　Brindley。　　‘‘Your　lessons　are　arranged　for；''　said　he。　　‘‘There　has　been　put　in　the　Plaza　Trust　Company　to　your　credit　the　sum　of　five　thousand　dollars。　　This　gives　you　about　a　hundred　dollars　a　week　for　your　board　and　other　personal　expenses。　　If　that　is　not　enough；　you　will　let　me　know。　But　I　estimated　that　it　would　be　enough。　　I　do　not　think　it　wise　for　young　women　entering　upon　the　preparation　for　a　serious　career　to　have　too　much　money。''

‘‘It　is　more　than　enough；''　murmured　the　girl。　　‘‘I　know　nothing　about　those　things；　but　it　seems　to　me''

‘‘You　can　use　as　little　of　it　as　you　like；''　interrupted　Jennings；　rising。

Mildred　felt　as　though　she　had　been　caught　and　exposed　in　a　hypocritical　protest。　　Jennings　was　holding　out　something　toward　her。　　She　took　it；　and　he　went　on：

‘‘That's　your　check…book。　　The　bank　will　send　you　statements　of　your　account；　and　will　notify　you　when　any　further　sums　are　added。　　Now；　I　have　nothing　more　to　do　with　your　affairsexcept；　of　course；　the　artistic　sideyour　development　as　a　singer。　　You've　not　forgotten　your　appointment？''

‘‘No；''　said　Mildred；　like　a　primary　school…child　before　a　formidable　teacher。

‘‘Be　prompt；　please。　　I　make　no　reduction　for　lessons　wholly　or　partly　missed。　　The　half…hour　I　shall　assign　to　you　belongs　to　you。　　If　you　do　not　use　it；　that　is　your　affair。　　At　first　you　will　probably　be　like　all　womencareless　about　your　appointments；　coming　with　lessons　unprepared；　telephoning　excuses。　　But　if　you　are　serious　you　will　soon　fall　into　the　routine。''　‘‘I　shall　try　to　be　regular；''　murmured　Mildred。

Jennings　apparently　did　not　hear。　　‘‘I'm　on　my　way　to　the　opera…house；''　said　he。　　‘‘One　of　my　old　pupils　is　appearing　in　a　new　role；　and　she　is　nervous。　　Good　night。''

Once　more　that　swift；　quiet　exit；　followed　almost　instantaneously　by　the　sound　of　wheels　rolling　away。　Never　had　she　seen　such　rapidity　of　motion　without　loss　of　dignity。　　‘‘Yes；　he's　a　fraud；''　she　said　to　herself；　‘‘but　he's　a　good　one。''

The　idea　of　a　career　had　now　become　less　indefinite。　It　was　still　without　any　attractionnot　because　of　the　toil　it　involved；　for　that　made　small　impression　upon　her　who　had　never　worked　and　had　never　seen　anyone　work；　but　because　a　career　meant　cutting　herself　off　from　everything　she　had　been　brought　up　to　regard　as　fit　and　proper　for　a　lady。　　She　was　ashamed　of　this；　she　did　not　admit　its　existence　even　to　herself；　and　in　her　talks　with　Baird　about　the　career　she　had　professed　exactly　the　opposite　view。　　Yet　there　it　wasnor　need　she　have　been　ashamed　of　a　feeling　that　is　instilled　into　women　of　her　class　from　babyhood　as　part　of　their　ladylike　education。　　The　career　had　not　become　definite。　She　could　not　imagine　herself　out　on　a　stage　in　some　sort　of　a　costume；　with　a　painted　face；　singing　before　an　audience。　　Still；　the　career　was　less　indefinite　than　when　it　had　no　existence　beyond　Stanley　Baird's　enthusiasm　and　her　own　whipped…up　pretense　of　enthusiasm。

She　shrank　from　the　actual　start；　but　at　the　same　time　was　eager　for　it。　　Inaction　began　to　fret　her　nerves；　and　she　wished　to　be　doing　something　to　show　her　appreciation　of　Stanley　Baird's　generosity。　　She　telephoned　Mrs。　Brindley　that　she　would　come　in　the　morning；　and　then　she　told　her　landlady。

Mrs。　Belloc　was　more　than　regretful；　she　was　distressed。　　Said　she：　　‘‘I've　taken　a　tremendous　fancy　to　you；　and　I　hate　to　give　you　up。　　I'd　do　most　anything　to　keep　you。''

Mildred　explained　that　her　work　compelled　her　to　go。

‘‘That's　very　interesting；''　said　Mrs。　Belloc。　　‘‘If　I　were　a　few　years　younger；　and　hadn't　spent　all　my　energy　in　teaching　school　and　putting　through　that　marriage；　I'd　try　to　get　on　the　stage；　myself。　　I　don't　want　to　lose　sight　of　you。''

‘‘Oh；　I'll　come　to　see　you　from　time　to　time。''

‘‘No；　you　won't；''　said　Mrs。　Belloc　practically。　　‘‘No　more　than　I'd　come　to　see　you。　　Our　lives　lie　in　different　directions；　and　in　New　York　that　means　we'll　never　have　time　to　meet。　　But　we　may　be　thrown　together　again；　some　time。　　As　I've　got　a　twenty　years'　lease　on　this　house；　I　guess　you'll　have　no　trouble　in　finding　me。　　I　suppose　I　could　look　you　up　through　Professor　Jennings？''

‘‘Yes；''　said　Mildred。　　Then　impulsively；　‘‘Mrs。　Belloc；　there's　a　reason　why　I'd　like　to　change　without　anyone's　knowing　what　has　become　of　meI　mean；　anyone　that　might　bewatching　me。''

‘‘I　understand　perfectly；''　said　Mrs。　Belloc　with　a　ready　sympathy　that　made　Mildred　appreciate　the　advantages　of　the　friendship　of　unconventional；　knock…　about　people。　　‘‘Nothing　could　be　easier。　　You've　got　no　luggage　but　that　bag。　　I'll　take　it　up　to　the　Grand　Central　Station　and　check　it；　and　bring　the　check　back　here。　　You　can　send　for　it　when　you　please。''

‘‘But　what　about　me？''　said　Mildred。

‘‘I　was　coming　to　that。　　You　walk　out　of　here；　say；　about　half　an　hour　after　I　go　in　the　taxi。　　You　walk　through　to　the　corner　of　Lexington　Avenue　and　Thirty…　seventh　Streetthere　aren't　any　cabs　to　be　had　there。　I'll　be　waiting　in　the　taxi；　and　we'll　make　a　dash　up　the　East　Side　and　I　can　drop　you　at　some　quiet　place　in　the　park　and　go　onand　you　can　walk　to　your　new　address。　　How　does　that　strike　you？''

Mildred　expressed　her　admiration。　　The　plan　was　carried　out；　as　Mrs。　Belloca　born　genius　at　all　forms　of　intriguehad　evolved　it　in　perfection　on　the　spur　of　the　moment。　　As　they　went　up　the　far　East　Side；　Mrs。　Belloc；　looking　back　through　the　little　rear　window；　saw　a　taxi　a　few　blocks　behind　them。　　‘‘We　haven't　given　them　the　slip　yet；''　said　she；　‘‘but　we　will　in　the　park。''　　They　entered　the　park　at　East　Ninetieth　Street；　crossed　to　the　West　Drive。　　Acting　on　Mrs。　Belloc's　instructions；　the　motorman　put　on　full　speed　with　due　regard　to　the　occasional　policeman。　　At　a　sharp　turning　near　the　Mall；　when　the　taxi　could　be　seen　from　neither　direction；　he　abruptly　stopped。　　Out　sprang　Mildred　and　disappeared　behind　the　bushes　completely　screening　the　walk　from　the　drive。　　At　once　the　taxi