for the term of his natural life-第81章

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ties　of　lying　and　stealing。　　He　had　believed　all　priests　impostors　or　fools；　all　religion　a　mockery　and　a　lie。　　But　now；　finding　how　utterly　his　own　strength　had　failed　him　when　tried　by　the　rude　test　of　physical　pain；　he　began　to　think　that　this　Religion　which　was　talked　of　so　largely　was　not　a　mere　bundle　of　legend　and　formulae；　but　must　have　in　it　something　vital　and　sustaining。　　Broken　in　spirit　and　weakened　in　body；　with　faith　in　his　own　will　shaken；　he　longed　for　something　to　lean　upon；　and　turnedas　all　men　turn　when　in　such　caseto　the　Unknown。　Had　now　there　been　at　hand　some　Christian　priest；　some　Christian…spirited　man　even；　no　matter　of　what　faith；　to　pour　into　the　ears　of　this　poor　wretch　words　of　comfort　and　grace；　to　rend　away　from　him　the　garment　of　sullenness　and　despair　in　which　he　had　wrapped　himself；　to　drag　from　him　a　confession　of　his　unworthiness；　his　obstinacy；　and　his　hasty　judgment；　and　to　cheer　his　fainting　soul　with　promise　of　immortality　and　justice；　he　might　have　been　saved　from　his　after　fate；　but　there　was　no　such　man。　He　asked　for　the　chaplain。　　North　was　fighting　the　Convict　Department；　seeking　vengeance　for　Kirkland；　and　（victim　of　〃clerks　with　the　cold　spurt　of　the　pen〃）　was　pushed　hither　and　thither；　referred　here；　snubbed　there；　bowed　out　in　another　place。　　Rufus　Dawes；　half　ashamed　of　himself　for　his　request；　waited　a　long　morning；　and　then　saw；　respectfully　ushered　into　his　cell　as　his　soul's　physicianMeekin。




CHAPTER　XIX。

THE　CONSOLATIONS　OF　RELIGION。



〃Well；　my　good　man；〃　said　Meekin；　soothingly；　〃so　you　wanted　to　see　me。〃　

〃I　asked　for　the　chaplain；〃　said　Rufus　Dawes；　his　anger　with　himself　growing　apace。　　〃I　am　the　chaplain；〃　returned　Meekin；　with　dignity；　as　who　should　say〃none　of　your　brandy…drinking；　pea…jacketed　Norths；　but　a　Respectable　chaplain　who　is　the　friend　of　a　Bishop！〃

〃I　thought　that　Mr。　North　was〃

〃Mr。　North　has　left；　sir；〃　said　Meekin；　dryly；　〃but　I　will　hear　what　you　have　to　say。　　There　is　no　occasion　to　go；　constable；　wait　outside　the　door。〃

Rufus　Dawes　shifted　himself　on　the　wooden　bench；　and　resting　his　scarcely…healed　back　against　the　wall；　smiled　bitterly。　〃Don't　be　afraid；　sir；　I　am　not　going　to　harm　you；〃　he　said。　〃I　only　wanted　to　talk　a　little。〃

〃Do　you　read　your　Bible；　Dawes？〃　asked　Meekin；　by　way　of　reply。　〃It　would　be　better　to　read　your　Bible　than　to　talk；　I　think。　You　must　humble　yourself　in　prayer；　Dawes。〃　

〃I　have　read　it；〃　said　Dawes；　still　lying　back　and　watching　him。　　

〃But　is　your　mind　softened　by　its　teachings？　Do　you　realize　the　Infinite　Mercy　of　God；　Who　has　compassion；　Dawes；　upon　the　greatest　sinners？〃　　The　convict　made　a　move　of　impatience。　　The　old；　sickening；　barren　cant　of　piety　was　to　be　recommenced　then。　　He　came　asking　for　bread；　and　they　gave　him　the　usual　stone。

〃Do　you　believe　that　there　is　a　God；　Mr。　Meekin？〃

〃Abandoned　sinner！　　Do　you　insult　a　clergyman　by　such　a　question？〃

〃Because　I　think　sometimes　that　if　there　is；　He　must　often　be　dissatisfied　at　the　way　things　are　done　here；〃　said　Dawes；　half　to　himself。

〃I　can　listen　to　no　mutinous　observations；　prisoner；〃　said　Meekin。　〃Do　not　add　blasphemy　to　your　other　crimes。　　I　fear　that　all　conversation　with　you；　in　your　present　frame　of　mind；　would　be　worse　than　useless。　I　will　mark　a　few　passages　in　your　Bible；　that　seem　to　me　appropriate　to　your　condition；　and　beg　you　to　commit　them　to　memory。　　Hailes；　the　door；　if　you　please。〃

So；　with　a　bow；　the　〃consoler〃　departed。

Rufus　Dawes　felt　his　heart　grow　sick。　　North　had　gone；　then。　The　only　man　who　had　seemed　to　have　a　heart　in　his　bosom　had　gone。　The　only　man　who　had　dared　to　clasp　his　horny　and　blood…stained　hand；　and　call　him　〃brother〃；　had　gone。　　Turning　his　head；　he　saw　through　the　windowwide　open　and　unbarred；　for　Nature；　at　Port　Arthur；　had　no　need　of　barsthe　lovely　bay；　smooth　as　glass；　glittering　in　the　afternoon　sun；　the　long　quay；　spotted　with　groups　of　parti…coloured　chain…gangs；　and　heard；　mingling　with　the　soft　murmur　of　the　waves；　and　the　gentle　rustling　of　the　trees；　the　never…ceasing　clashing　of　irons；　and　the　eternal　click　of　hammer。　　Was　he　to　be　for　ever　buried　in　this　whitened　sepulchre；　shut　out　from　the　face　of　Heaven　and　mankind！

The　appearance　of　Hailes　broke　his　reverie。　　〃Here's　a　book　for　you；〃　said　he；　with　a　grin。　　〃Parson　sent　it。〃

Rufus　Dawes　took　the　Bible；　and；　placing　it　on　his　knees；　turned　to　the　places　indicated　by　slips　of　paper；　embracing　some　twenty　marked　texts。

〃Parson　says　he'll　come　and　hear　you　to…morrer；　and　you're　to　keep　the　book　clean。〃

〃Keep　the　book　clean！〃　and　〃hear　him！〃　Did　Meekin　think　that　he　was　a　charity　school　boy？　　The　utter　incapacity　of　the　chaplain　to　understand　his　wants　was　so　sublime　that　it　was　nearly　ridiculous　enough　to　make　him　laugh。　　He　turned　his　eyes　downwards　to　the　texts。　Good　Meekin；　in　the　fullness　of　his　stupidity；　had　selected　the　fiercest　denunciations　of　bard　and　priest。　　The　most　notable　of　the　Psalmist's　curses　upon　his　enemies；　the　most　furious　of　Isaiah's　ravings　anent　the　forgetfulness　of　the　national　worship；　the　most　terrible　thunderings　of　apostle　and　evangelist　against　idolatry　and　unbelief；　were　grouped　together　and　presented　to　Dawes　to　soothe　him。　　All　the　material　horrors　of　Meekin's　faithstripped；　by　force　of　dissociation　from　the　context；　of　all　poetic　feeling　and　local　colouringwere　launched　at　the　suffering　sinner　by　Meekin's　ignorant　hand。　　The　miserable　man；　seeking　for　consolation　and　peace；　turned　over　the　leaves　of　the　Bible　only　to　find　himself　threatened　with　〃the　pains　of　Hell〃；　〃the　never…dying　worm〃；　〃the　unquenchable　fire〃；　〃the　bubbling　brimstone〃；　the　〃bottomless　pit〃；　from　out　of　which　the　〃smoke　of　his　torment〃　should　ascend　for　ever　and　ever。　　Before　his　eyes　was　held　no　image　of　a　tender　Saviour　（with　hands　soft　to　soothe；　and　eyes　brimming　with　ineffable　pity）　dying　crucified　that　he　and　other　malefactors　might　have　hope；　by　thinking　on　such　marvellous　humanity。　The　worthy　Pharisee　who　was　sent　to　him　to　teach　him　how　mankind　is　to　be　redeemed　with　Love；　preached　only　that　harsh　Law　whose　barbarous　power　died　with　the　gentle　Nazarene　on　Calvary。

Repelled　by　this　unlooked…for　ending　to　his　hopes；　he　let　the　book　fall　to　the　ground。　　〃Is　there；　then；　nothing　but　torment　for　me　in　this　world　or　the　next？〃　he　groaned；　shuddering。　　Presently　his　eyes　sought　his　right　hand；　resting　upon　it　as　though　it　were　not　his　own；　or　had　some　secret　virtue　which　made　it　different　from　the　other。　〃He　would　not　have　done　this？　　He　would　not　have　thrust　upon　me　these　savage　judgments；　these　dreadful　threats　of　Hell　and　Death。　He　called　me　'Brother'！〃　And　filled　with　a　strange　wild　pity　for　himself；　and　yearning　love　towards　the　man　who　befriended　him；　he　fell　to　nursing　the　hand　on　which　North's　tears　had　fallen；　moaning　and　rocking　himself　to　and　fro。

Meekin；　in　the　morning；　found　his　pupil　more　sullen　than　ever。

〃Have　you　learned　these　texts；　my　man？〃　said　he；　cheerfully；　willing　not　to　be　angered　with　his　uncouth　and　unpromising　convert。

Rufus　Dawes　pointed　with　his　foot　to　the　Bible；　which　still　lay　on　the　floor　as　he　had　left　it　the　night　before。　　〃No！〃

〃No！　　Why　not？〃

〃I　would　learn　no　such　words　as　those。　　I　would　rather　forget　them。〃

〃Forget　them！　　My　good　man；　I〃

Rufus　Dawes　sprang　up　in　sudden　wrath；　and　pointing　to　his　cell　door　with　a　gesture　thatchained　and　degraded　as　he　washad　something　of　dignity　in　it；　cried；　〃What　do　you　know　about　the　feelings　of　such　as　I？　Take　your　book　and　yourself　away。　　When　I　asked　for　a　priest；　I　had　no　thought　of　you。　　Begone！〃

Meekin；　despite　the　halo　of　sanctity　which　he　felt　should　surround　him；　found　his　gentility　melt　all　of　a　sudden。　　Adventitious　distinctions　had　disappeared　for　the　instant。　　The　pair　had　become　simply　man　and　man；　and　the　sleek　priest…master　quailing　before　the　outraged　manhood　of　the　convict…penitent；　picked　up　his　Bible　and　backed　out。

〃That　man　Dawes　is　very　insolent；〃　said　the　insulted　chaplain　to　Burgess。　〃He　was　brutal　to　me　to…dayquite　brutal。〃

〃Was　he？〃　said　Burgess。　　〃Had　too　long　a　spell；　I　expect。　I'll　send　him　back　to　work　to…morrow。〃

〃It　would　be　well；〃　said　Meekin；　〃if