april hopes-第78章
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right。〃
〃Yes; I see。 Thank you so much; Mrs。 Brinkley。〃
〃After all; we have a right to do ourselves good; even when we pretend
that it's good to others; if we don't do them any harm。〃
〃Yes; I see。〃 Alice looked away; and then seemed about to speak again;
but one of Mrs。 Brinkley's acquaintance came up; and the girl rose with a
frightened air and went away。
〃Alice's talk with you this morning did her so much good!〃 said Mrs。
Pasmer; later。 〃She has always felt so badly about Miss Anderson!〃
Mrs。 Brinkley saw that Mrs。 Pasmer wished to confine the meaning of their
talk to Miss Anderson; and she assented; with a penetration of which she
saw that Mrs。 Pasmer was gratefully aware。
She grew more tolerant of both the Pasmers as the danger of greater
intimacy from them; which seemed to threaten at first seemed to pass away。
She had not responded to their advances; but there was no reason why she
should not be civil to them; there had never been any open quarrel with
them。 She often found herself in talk with them; and was amused to note
that she was the only Bostonian whom they did not keep aloof from。
It could not be said that she came to like either of them better。 She
still suspected Mrs。 Pasmer of design; though she developed none beyond
manoeuvring Alice out of the way of people whom she wished to avoid; and
she still found the girl; as she always thought her; as egotist; whose
best impulses toward others had a final aim in herself。 She thought her
very crude in her ideascruder than she had seemed at Campobello; where
she had perhaps been softened by her affinition with the gentler and
kindlier nature of Dan Mavering。 Mrs。 Brinkley was never tired of saying
that he had made the most fortunate escape in the world; and though
Brinkley owned he was tired of hearing it; she continued to say it with a
great variety of speculation。 She recognised that in most girls of
Alice's age many traits are in solution; waiting their precipitation into
character by the chemical contact which time and chances must bring; and
that it was not fair to judge her by the present ferment of hereditary
tendencies; but she rejoiced all the same that it was not Dan Mavering's
character which was to give fixity to hers。 The more she saw of the girl
the more she was convinced that two such people could only make each other
unhappy; from day to day; almost from hour to hour; she resolved to write
to Mavering and tell him not to come。
She was sure that the Pasmers wished to have the affair on again; and part
of her fascination with a girl whom she neither liked nor approved was her
belief that Alice's health had broken under the strain of her regrets and
her despair。 She did not get better from the change of air; she grew more
listless and languid; and more dependent upon Mrs。 Brinkley's chary
sympathy。 The older woman asked herself again and again what made the
girl cling to her? Was she going to ask her finally to intercede with
Dan? or was it really a despairing atonement to him; the most disagreeable
sacrifice she could offer; as Mr。 Brinkley had stupidly suggested? She
believed that Alice's selfishness and morbid sentiment were equal to
either。
Brinkley generally took the girl's part against his wife; and in a heavy
jocose way tried to cheer her up。 He did little things for her; fetched
and carried chairs and cushions and rugs; and gave his attentions the air
of pleasantries。 One of his offices was to get the ladies' letters for
them in the evening; and one night he came in beaming with a letter for
each of them where they sat together in the parlour。 He distributed them
into their laps。
〃Hello! I've made a mistake;〃 he said; putting down his head to take back
the letter he had dropped in Miss Pasmer's lap。 〃I've given you my wife's
letter。〃
The girl glanced at it; gave a moaning kind of cry; and fell beak in her
chair; hiding her face in her hands。
Mrs。 Brinkley; possessed herself of the other letter; and; though past the
age when ladies wish to kill their husbands for their stupidity; she gave
Brinkley a look of massacre which mystified even more than it murdered his
innocence。 He had to learn later from his wife's more elicit fury what
the women had all known instantly。
He showed his usefulness in gathering Alice up and getting her to her
mother's room。〃
〃Oh; Mrs。 Brinkley;〃 implored Mrs。 Pasmer; following her to the door; 〃is
Mr。 Mavering coming here?〃
〃I don't knowI can't sayI haven't read the letter yet。〃
〃Oh; do let me know when you've read it; won't you? I don't know what we
shall do。〃
Mrs。 Brinkley read the letter in her own room。 〃You go down;〃 she said to
her husband; with unabated ferocity; 〃and telegraph Dan Mavering at
Wormley's not to came。 Say we're going away at once。〃
Then she sent Mrs。 Pasmer a slip of paper on which she had written; 〃Not
coming。〃
It has been the experience of every one to have some alien concern come
into his life and torment him with more anxiety than any affair of his
ovn。 This is; perhaps; a hint from the infinite sympathy which feels for
us all that none of us can hope to free himself from the troubles of
others; that we are each bound to each by ties which; for the most part;
we cannot perceive; but which; at the moment their stress comes; we cannot
break。
Mrs。 Brinkley lay awake and raged impotently against her complicity with
the unhappiness of that distasteful girl and her more than distasteful
mother。 In her revolt against it she renounced the interest she had felt
in that silly boy; and his ridiculous love business; so really unimportant
to her whatever turn it took。 She asked herself what it mattered to her
whether those children marred their lives one way or another way。 There
was a lurid moment before she slept when she wished Brinkley to go down
and recall her telegram; but he refused to be a fool at so much
inconvenience to himself。
Mrs。 Brinkley came to breakfast feeling so much more haggard than she
found either of the Pasmers looking; that she was able to throw off her
lingering remorse for having told Mavering not to come。 She had the
advantage also of doubt as to her precise motive in having done so; she
had either done so because she had judged it best for him not to see Miss
Pasmer again; or else she had done so to relieve the girl from the pain of
an encounter which her mother evidently dreaded for her。 If one motive
seemed at moments outrageously meddling and presumptuous; the other was so
nobly good and kind that it more than counterbalanced it in Mrs。
Brinkley's mind; who knew very well in spite of her doubt that she had;
acted from a mixture of both。 With this conviction; it was both a comfort
and a pang to find by the register of the hotel; which she furtively
consulted; that Dan had not arrived by the morning boat; as she
groundlessly feared and hoped he might have done。
In any case; however; and at the end of all the ends; she had that girl on
her hands more than ever; and believing as she did that Dan and Alice had
only to meet in order to be reconciled; she felt that the girl whom she
had balked of her prey was her innocent victim。 What right had she to
interfere? Was he not her natural prey? If he liked being a prey; who
was lawfully to forbid him? He was not perfect; he would know how to take
care of himself probably; in marriage things equalised themselves。 She
looked at the girl's thin cheeks and lack…lustre eyes; and pitied and
hated her with that strange mixture of feeling which our victims aspire in
us。
She walked out on the verandah with the Pasmers after breakfast; and
chatted a while about indifferent things; and Alice made an effort to
ignore the event of the night before with a pathos which wrung Mrs。
Brinkley's heart; and with a gay resolution which ought to have been a
great pleasure to such a veteran dissembler as her mother。 She said she
had never found the air so delicious; she really believed it would begin
to do her good now; but it was a little fresh just there; and with her
eyes she invited her mother to come with her round the corner into that
sheltered recess; and invited