april hopes-第39章

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He　leaned　over　and　looked　her　smilingly　in　the　face。

〃Oh　no；〃　she　murmured；　and　then　suddenly　she　caught　him　round　the　neck；
crying　and　sobbing。　　〃It's　onlybecause　I　wanted　it　to　beperfect。　　Oh；
I　wonder　if　I've　done　right？　　Perhaps　I　oughtn't　to　have　taken　you；　after
all；　but　I　do　love　youdearly；　dearly！　　And　I　was　so　unhappy　when　I'd
lost　you。　　And　now　I'm　afraid　I　shall　be　a　trial　to　younothing　but　a
trial。〃

The　first　tears　that　a　young　man　sees　a　woman　shed　for　love　of　him　are
inexpressibly　sweeter　than　her　smiles。　　Dan　choked　with　tender　pride　and
pity。　　When　he　found　his　voice；　he　raved　out　with　incoherent　endearments
that　she　only　made　him　more　and　more　happy　by　her　wish　to　have　the　affair
perfect；　and　that　he　wished　her　always　to　be　exacting　with　him；　for　that
would　give　him　a　chance　to　do　something　for　her；　and　all　that　he　desired；
as　long　as　he　lived；　was　to　do　just　what　she　wished。

At　the　end　of　his　vows　and　entreaties；　she　lifted　her　face　radiantly；　and
bent　a　smile　upon　him　as　sunny　as　that　with　which　the　sky　after　a　summer
storm　denies　that　there　has　ever　been　rain　in　the　world。

〃Ah！　you〃　　He　could　say　no　more。　　He　could　not　be　more　enraptured　than
he　was。　　He　could　only　pass　from　surprise　to　surprise；　from　delight　to
delight。　　It　was　her　love　of　him　which　wrought　these　miracles。　　It　was　all
a　miracle；　and　no　part　more　wonderful　than　another。　　That　she；　who　had
seemed　as　distant　as　a　star；　and　divinely　sacred　from　human　touch；　should
be　there　in　his　arms；　with　her　head　on　his　shoulder；　where　his　kiss　could
reach　her　lips；　not　only　unforbidden；　but　eagerly　welcome；　was　impossible；
and　yet　it　was　true。。　　But　it　was　no　more　impossible　and　no　truer；　than
that　a　being　so　poised；　so　perfectly　self…centred　as　she；　should　already
be　so　helplessly　dependent　upon　him　for　her　happiness。　　In　the　depths　of
his　soul　he　invoked　awful　penalties　upon　himself　if　ever　he　should　betray
her　trust；　if　ever　he　should　grieve　that　tender　heart　in　the　slightest
thing；　if　from　that　moment　he　did　not　make　his　whole　life　a　sacrifice　and
an　expiation。

He　uttered　some　of　these　exalted　thoughts；　and　they　did　not　seem　to　appear
crazy　to　her。　　She　said　yes；　they　must　make　their　separate　lives　offerings
to　each　other；　and　their　joint　lives　an　offering　to　God。　　The　tears　came
into　his　eyes　at　these　words　of　hers：　they　were　so　beautiful　and　holy　and
wise。　　He　agreed　that　one　ought　always　to　go　to　church；　and　that　now　he
should　never　miss　a　service。　　He　owned　that　he　had　been　culpable　in　the
past。　　He　drew　her　closer　to　himif　that　were　possibleand　sealed　his
words　with　a　kiss。

But　he　could　not　realise　his　happiness　then；　or　afterward；　when　he　walked
the　streets　under　the　thinly　misted　moon　of　that　Indian　summer　night。

He　went　down　to　the　Events　office　when　he　left　Alice；　and　found　Boardman；
and　told　him　that　he　was　engaged；　and　tried　to　work　Boardman　up　to　some
sense　of　the　greatness　of　the　fact。　　Boardman　shoved　his　fine　white　teeth
under　his　spare　moustache；　and　made　acceptable　jokes；　but　he　did　not　ask
indiscreet　questions；。and　Dan's　statement　of　the　fact　did　not　seem　to　give
it　any　more　verity　than　it　had　before。　　He　tried　to　get　Boardman　to　come
and　walk　with　him　and　talk　it　over；　but　Boardman　said　he　had　just　been
detailed　to　go　and　work　up　the　case　of　a　Chinaman　who　had　suicided　a
little　earlier　in　the　evening。

〃Very　well；　then；　I'll　go　with　you；〃　said　Mavering。　　〃How　can　you　live　in
such　a　den　as　this？〃　he　asked；　looking　about　the　little　room　before
Boardman　turned　down　his　incandescent　electric。　　〃There　isn't　anything　big
enough　to　hold　me　but　all　outdoors。〃

In　the　street　he　linked　his　arm　through　his　friend's；　and　said　he　felt
that　he　had　a　right　to　know　all　about　the　happy　ending　of　the　affair；
since　he　had　been　told　of　that　miserable　phase　of　it　at　Portland。　　But
when　he　came　to　the　facts　he　found　himself　unable　to　give　them　with　the
fulness　he　had　promised。　　He　only　imparted　a　succinct　statement　as　to　the
where　and　when　of　the　whole　matter；　leaving　the　how　of　it　untold。

The　sketch　was　apparently　enough　for　Boardman。　　For　all　comment；　he
reminded　Mavering　that　he　had　told　him　at　Portland　it　would　come　out　all
right。

〃Yes；　you　did；　Boardman；　that's　a　fact；〃　said　Dan；　and　he　conceived　a
higher　respect　for　the　penetration　of　Boardman　than　he　had　before。

They　stopped　at　a　door　in　a　poor　court　which　they　had　somehow　reached
without　Mavering's　privity。　　〃Will　you　come　in？〃　asked　Boardman。

〃What　for？〃

〃Chinaman。〃

〃Chinaman？〃　　Then　Mavering　remembered。　　〃Good　heavens！　no。　　What　have　I
got　to　do　with　him？〃

〃Both　mortal；〃　suggested　the　reporter。

The　absurdity　of　this　idea；　though　a　little　grisly；　struck　Dan　as　a　good
joke。　　He　hit　the　companionable　Boardman　on　the　shoulder；　and　then　gave
him　a　little　hug；　and　remounted　his　path　of　air；　and　walked　off　in　it。




XXVII。

Mavering　first　woke　in　the　morning　with　the　mechanical　recurrence　of　that
shame　and　grief　which　each　day　had　brought　him　since　Alice　refused　him。
Then　with　a　leap　of　the　heart　came　the　recollection　of　all　that　had
happened　yesterday。　　Yet　lurking　within　his　rapture　was　a　mystery　of
regret：　a　reasonless　sense　of　loss；　as　if　the　old　feeling　had　been
something　he　would　have　kept。　　Then　this　faded；　and　he　had　only　the
longing　to　see　her；　to　realise　in　her　presence　and　with　her　help　the　fact
that　she　was　his。　　An　unspeakable　pride　filled　him；　and　a　joy　in　her　love。
He　tried　to　see　some　outward　vision　of　his　bliss　in　the　glass；　but；　like
the　mirror　which　had　refused　to　interpret　his　tragedy　in　the　Portland
restaurant；　it　gave　back　no　image　of　his　transport：　his　face　looked　as　it
always　did；　and　he　and　the　refection　laughed　at　each　other：

He　asked　himself　how　soon　he　could　go　and　see　her。　　It　was　now　seven
o'clock：　eight　would　be　too　early；　of　courseit　would　be　ridiculous；　and
ninehe　wondered　if　he　might　go　to　see　her　at　nine。　　Would　they　have　done
breakfast？　　Had　he　any　right　to　call　before　ten？　　He　was　miserable　at　the
thought　of　waiting　till　ten：　it　would　be　three　hours。　　He　thought　of
pretextsof　inviting　her　to　go　somewhere；　but　that　was　absurd；　for　he
could　see　her　at　home　all　day　if　he　liked；　of　carrying　her　a　book；　but
there　could　be　no　such　haste　about　a　book；　of　going　to　ask　if　he　had　left
his　cane；　but　why　should　he　be　in　such　a　hurry　for　his　cane？　　All　at　once
he　thought　he　could　take　her　some　flowersa　bouquet　to　lay　beside　her
plate　at　breakfast。　　He　dramatised　himself　charging　the　servant　who　should
take　it　from　him　at　the　door　not　to　say　who　left　it；　but　Alice　would　know；
of　course；　and　they　would　all　know；　it　would　be　very　pretty。　　He　made　Mrs。
Pasmer　say　some　flattering　things　of　him；　and　he　made　Alice　blush
deliciously　to　hear　them。　　He　could　not　manage　Mr。　Pasmer　very　well；　and
he　left　him　out　of　the　scene：　he　imagined　him　shaving　in　another　room；
then　he　remembered　his　wearing　a　full　beard。

He　dressed　himself　as　quickly　as　he　could；　and　went　down　into　the　hotel
vestibule；　where　he　had　noticed　people　selling　flowers　the　evening　before；
but　there　was　no　one　there　with　them　now；　and　none　of　the　florists'　shops
on　the　street　were　open　yet。　　He　could　not　find　anything　till　he　went　to
the　Providence　Depot；　and　the　man　there　had　to　take　some　of　his
yesterday's　flowers　out　of　the　refrigerator　where　he　kept　them；　he　was　not
sure　they　would　be　very　fresh；　but　the　heavy　rosebuds　had　fallen　open；　and
they　were　superb。　　Dan　took　all　there　were；　and　when　they　had　been
sprinkled　with　water；　and　wrapped　in　cotton　batting；　and　tied　round　with
paper；　it　was　still　only　quarter　of　eight；　and　he　left　them　with　the　man
till　he　could　get　his　breakfast　at　the　Depot　restaurant。　　There　it　had　a
consoling　effect　of　not　being　so　early；　many　people　were　already
breakfasting；　and　when　Dan　said；　with　his　order；　〃Hurry　it　up；　please；〃　he
knew　that　he　was　taken　for　a　passenger　just　arrived　or　departing。　　By　a
fantastic　impulse　he　ordered　eggs　and　bacon　again；　he　felt；　it　a　fine
derision　of　the　past　and　a　seal　of　triumph　upon　the　present　to　have　the
same　breakfast　after　his　acceptance　as　he　had　ordered　after　his　rejection；
he　would　tell　Alice　about　it