april hopes-第38章
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principle applying to the case。 She made some neat remark concerning the
probable settlement of the affair with her husband; and began to laugh and
joke about it in a manner that was very welcome to Dan; it did not seem to
him that it ought to be treated so solemnly。
But though Mrs。 Pasmer laughed and joked; he was aware of her meaning
businessbusiness in the nicest sort of a way; but business after all;
and he liked her for it。 He was glad to be explicit about his hopes and
plans; and told what his circumstances were so fully that Mrs。 Pasmer;
whom his frankness gratified and amused; felt obliged to say that she had
not meant to ask so much about his affairs; and he must excuse her if she
had seemed to do so。 She had her own belief that Mavering would
understand; but she did not mind that。 She said that; of course; till his
own family had been consulted; it must not be considered seriouslythat
Mr。 Pasmer insisted upon that point; and when Dan vehemently asserted the
acquiescence of his family beforehand; and urged his father's admiration
for Alice in proof; she reminded him that his mother was to be considered;
and put Mr。 Pasmer's scruples forward as her own reason for obduracy。 In
her husband's presence she attributed to him; with his silent assent; all
sorts of reluctances and delicate compunctions; she gave him the
importance which would have been naturally a husband's due in such an
affair; and ingratiated herself more and more with the young man。 She
ignored Mr。 Pasmer's withdrawal when it took place; after a certain lapse
of time; and as the moment had come for that; she began to let herself go。
She especially approved of the idea of going abroad and confessed her
disappointment with her present experiment of America; where it appeared
there was no leisure class of men sufficiently large to satisfy the social
needs of Mr。 Pasmer's nature; and she told Dan that he might expect them
in Europe before long。 Perhaps they might all three meet him there。 At
this he betrayed so clearly that he now intended his going to Europe
merely as a sequel to his marrying Alice; while he affected to fall in
with all Mrs。 Pasmer said; that she grew fonder than ever of him for his
ardour and his futile duplicity。 If it had been in Dan's mind to take
part in the rite; Mrs。 Pasmer was quite ready at this point to embrace him
with motherly tenderness。 Her tough little heart was really in her throat
with sympathy when she made an errand for the photograph of an English
vicarage; which they had hired the summer of the year before; and she sent
Alice back with it alone。
It seemed so long since they had met that the change in Alice did not
strike him as strange or as too rapidly operated。 They met with the
fervour natural after such a separation; and she did not so much assume as
resume possession of him。 It was charming to have her do it; to have her
act as if they had always been engaged; to have her try to press down the
cowlick that started capriciously across his crown; and to straighten his
necktie; and then to drop beside him on the sofa; it thrilled and awed
him; and he silently worshipped the superior composure which her sex has
in such matters。 Whatever was the provisional interpretation which her
father and mother pretended to put upon the affair; she apparently had no
reservations; and they talked of their future as a thing assured。 The
Dark Ages; as they agreed to call the period of despair for ever closed
that morning; had matured their love till now it was a rapture of pure
trust。 They talked as if nothing could prevent its fulfilment; and they
did not even affect to consider the question of his family's liking it or
not liking it。 She said that she thought his father was delightful; and
he told her that his father had taken the greatest fancy to her at the
beginning; and knew that Dan was in love with her。 She asked him about
his mother; and she said just what he could have wished her to say about
his mother's sufferings; and the way she bore them。 They talked about
Alice's going to see her。
〃Of course your father will bring your sisters to see me first。〃
〃Is that the way?〃 he asked: 〃You may depend upon his doing the right
thing; whatever it is。〃
〃Well; that's the right thing;〃 she said。 〃I've thought it out; and that
reminds me of a duty of ours; Dan!〃
〃A duty?〃〃 he repeated; with a note of reluctance for its untimeliness。
〃Yes。 Can't you think what?〃
〃No; I didn't know there was a duty left in the world。〃
〃It's full of them。〃
〃Oh; don't say that; Alice!〃 He did not like this mood so well as that of
the morning; but his dislike was only a vague discomfortnothing
formulated or distinct。
〃Yes;〃 she persisted; 〃and we must do them。 You must go to those ladies
you disappointed so this morning; and apologiseexplain。〃
Dan laughed。 〃Why; it wasn't such a very ironclad engagement as all that;
Alice。 They said they were going to drive out to Cambridge over the
Milldam; and I said I was going out there to get some of my traps
together; and they could pick me up at the Art Museum if they liked。
Besides; how could I explain?〃
She laughed consciously with him。 〃Of course。 But;〃 she added ruefully;
〃I wish you hadn't disappointed them。〃
〃Oh; they'll get over it。 If I hadn't disappointed them; I shouldn't be
here; and I shouldn't like that。 Should you?〃
〃No; but I wish it hadn't happened。 It's a blot; and I didn't want a blot
on this day。〃
〃Oh; well; it isn't very much of a blot; and I can easily wipe it off。
I'll tell you what; Alice! I can write to Mrs。 Frobisher; when our
engagement comes out; and tell her how it was。 She'll enjoy the joke; and
so will Miss Wrayne。 They're jolly and easygoing; they won't mind。〃
〃How long have you known them?〃
〃I met them on Class Day; and then I saw themthe day after I left
Campobello。〃 Dan laughed a little。
〃How; saw them?〃
〃Well; I went to a yacht race with them。 I happened to meet them in the
street; and they wanted me to go; and I was all broken up; andI Went。〃
〃Oh!〃 said Alice。 〃The day after Iyou left Campobello?〃
〃Wellyes。〃
〃And I was thinking of you all that day asAnd I couldn't bear to look at
anybody that day; or speak!〃
〃Well; the fact is; II was distracted; and I didn't know what I was
doing。 I was desperate; I didn't care。〃
〃How did you find out about the yacht race?〃
〃Boardman told me。 Boardman was there。〃
〃Did he know the ladies? Did he go too?〃
〃No。 He was there to report the race for the Events。 He went on the
press boat。〃
〃Oh!〃 said Alice。 〃Was there a large party?〃
〃No; no。 Not very。 Just ourselves; in fact。 They were awfully kind。
And they made me go home to dinner with them。〃
〃They must have been rather peculiar people;〃 said Alice。 〃And I don't
see howso soon〃 She could not realise that Mavering was then a
rejected man; on whom she had voluntarily renounced all claim。 A
retroactive resentment which she could not control possessed her with the
wish to punish those bold women for being agreeable to one who had since
become everything to her; though then he was ostensibly nothing。
In a vague way; Dan felt her displeasure with that passage of his history;
but no man could have fully imagined it。
〃I couldn't tell half the time what I was saying or eating。 I talked at
random and ate at random。 I guess they thought something was wrong; they
asked me who was at Campobello。〃
〃Indeed!〃
〃But you may be sure I didn't give myself away。 I was awfully broken up;〃
he concluded inconsequently。
She liked his being broken up; but she did not like the rest。 She would
not press the question further now。 She only said rather gravely; 〃If
it's such a short acquaintance; can you write to them in that familiar
way?〃
〃Oh yes;! Mrs。 Frobisher is one of that kind。〃
Alice was silent a moment before she said; 〃I think you'd better not
write。 Let it go;〃 she sighed。
〃Yes; that's what I think;〃 said Dan。 〃Better let it go。 I guess it will
explain itself in the course of time。 But I don't want any blots around。〃
He leaned over and looked her smilingly in the face。