on the firing line-第34章
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take the consequences。 Nevertheless； it would be weary work to play out the game to its end； when the end held nothing for him in its keeping。 His mind trailed off upon all sorts or vague corollaries scarcely connected with the fact。 He recalled it with a jerk。
The Captain was dead。 Ethel had loved the Captain。 She had told the Captain of her love。 As consequence； she could not love himself； Harvard Weldon。 But he loved her。 He had loved her for thirteen months and twenty…one days。 Carefully he reckoned up the time； then； to make sure； he counted it off upon his fingers。 Yes； he had loved her ever since that first lunch on the steamer； when she had snubbed him so roundly。 He did not know it then。 Looking backward； he knew it now。 And there had been Cape Town； and Johannesburg； and Cape Town again。 He stumbled into the open mouth of an ant…bear's hole and came down with a crash； full upon his wounded shoulder。 Strange that his step should be so uncertain！ Strange that he should feel so little inclination to swear！ As he picked himself up； he wondered vaguely whether his pipe would be refreshing； but his wonder stopped； impotent to lead his dangling hand in the direction of his pocket。 Then his mind took up its interrupted story； its record of brief； categorical facts。
He had meant to go home； that winter。 Instead； Ethel had fanned the flame of his desire to go back to the front。 He had left her； one evening； to pass a sleepless night； and； the next morning； to take himself out to enlist for another six months of service。 The six months were nearly ended。 Only three weeks remained。 And then？ Nothing。
The second night found him still far from Lindley。 He had plodded on mechanically； stumbling often； but halting never； while his mind went whirling on and on； over and over the same old questions。 His lips were feverish； and his eyes burned hotly； so it was almost with a sense of relief that he greeted the swift chill which followed the dropping of the sun。 Over his head； the great arch of the sky shaded from east to west through every tint of purple and blue and turquoise and emerald…green； down to the golden band of the afterglow。 Then the stars began to dot the purple； their tiny points of light serving only to emphasize its darkness； until the full moon swept up across the heavens； throwing its mystic silver light over all the land and adding tenfold to the empty loneliness of the veldt。 Sleep was out of the question。 He could only snuggle more closely into his blankets and wait for morning with what grace he could。 The stopping of his physical action only increased the swiftness of his swirling thoughts which chased each other round and round in circling eddies about one fixed point。 That point was Ethel。
Across the veldt at his left hand； he had watched the chain of blockhouses which lay along the country between Kroonstad and Lindley。 Their squat outlines and the shining blue of their corrugated iron roofs had caught his wandering attention； held it； pinned it to other associations with those same blockhouses and； of a sudden； had brought him to a full realization that griefs did not come singly。 He had left Johannesburg； to face a future apart from Ethel。 He was coming back to Lindley； to face a future bereft of the Captain。
It was full noon； the next day； when the camp came into view。 Leaving the convoy to follow in his wake； he headed straight for the rise where he had so often sat with Carew and gossiped of all things under the light of the sun。 Then； as the round tents lay under his eyes like rows of dots punched into relief above the surface of the plain； he sank down on the coarse； parched grass and hid his eyes in his shaking hands。 Yet even then the pitiless circle of tragic thoughts refused to stop their ceaseless round。
He roused himself at a touch on his arm。 Kruger Bobs； at a distance； was eying him with a look of chastened welcome； but Carew stood beside him； one thin； sun…tanned hand on Weldon's shoulder。
〃It's all right； old man；〃 he was saying。 〃Don't try to tell me anything about it。 Kruger Bobs saw you coming； and we rode out to meet you。 Come in and rest。 You look utterly done up。〃
Half way back to the camp； Carew spoke again； but it was only once。
〃I told the fellows you were coming； and that you would be tired。 They will keep out of your way； till you have had time to rest up a bit。 Paddy is waiting to look out for you； but you needn't worry。 He knows when to hold his tongue。 If you need anything； or if you care to talk； send him out to look for me。 Meanwhile； you need some rest。〃
CHAPTER TWENTY…ONE
〃For God's sake； Weldon； how long is this going to last？〃
Weldon raised his eyes from the seven…weeks…old Times in his hand； and looked at Carew in surprise。
〃What last？〃 he questioned blankly。
Carew sprang to his feet and began to pace up and down with impatient； nervous steps。
〃This。 Everything；〃 he said。
Weldon's smile； though it went no deeper than his lips； was half sarcastic； wholly sad。
〃Specify；〃 he advised languidly。 〃My mind can't grasp your generalities。〃
Carew took a few more turns。 Then he came back to Weldon's side。
〃It's this way； Harvey；〃 he said slowly； for the moment lapsing into the name by which he had called his friend in their childhood； 〃since you came back from Johannesburg； you've not been the same man。 What has done it？〃
Weldon's lips shut with a tightness which curled the corners downward。 Then； as he looked into the questioning eyes and anxious face of his companion； his own eyes softened； and he changed his mind in regard to keeping silence。
〃It was a hard journey；〃 he said evasively； yet with a kindly accent to the words。 〃Such days take it out of a man； Carew。 I shall brace up in time。〃
Carew shook his head。
〃That is just what you must not do。 You have braced too long； as it is。 Your wounds were nothing but scratches。 They healed up easily enough； and you say； yourself； that they don't trouble you； but you look〃
〃Well？〃 〃As if things had ended for you；〃 Carew blurted out desperately。
Slowly； wearily； Weldon lifted his eyes to his friend's face。
〃Well； they have；〃 he said； with an intonation of dreary finality。
〃Rot！〃 Carew observed profanely。 〃Look here； Weldon； you've no business to funk in this fashion。 It's not like you； either。〃
The word stung Weldon。 He scrambled to his feet and stood to attention。
〃Carew； no other man could say that to me；〃 he said slowly。
Carew maintained his ground。
〃No other man cares for you as I do； Harvey。 We've been like brothers； and I have been too proud of your record to be willing to sit by； quiet； and see you spoil the last round of the game。 There is too much at stake。〃 Weldon raised his brows。
〃What is at stake？〃 he asked coldly。
〃Your whole army record。 Your manhood。 Your〃 Carew hesitated； then he nerved himself to speak out plainly； 〃your love for Miss Dent。〃
Weldon shut his teeth and drew in his breath between them； while the dark red blood rushed across his face； and then died away； to leave in its place a grayish pallor。 He put out his hand； as if to ward off something。
〃For God's sake； don't！〃 he said huskily。
Carew watched him for an instant。 Then he stepped forward and linked his arm through that of Weldon。
〃There's nothing doing now；〃 he said quietly。 〃Let's go for a walk。 We can talk better； while we're moving； you know。〃
〃But what is the use of talking？〃 Weldon objected listlessly。
Carew looked into the heavy eyes； the overcast face of his friend。 Not once during the past three weeks since Weldon's return from Johannesburg had the cloud lifted。
〃You must talk； Weldon；〃 he said firmly。 〃If you don't talk； you'll go mad。 I've watched you； day after day； hoping you would speak of your own free will。 I have hated to urge you。 It seemed rather beastly to drive you into telling me things that are none of my business。 But they are my business； in a sense。 There's nobody in all South Africa who can go back farther with you into the past。 That alone ought to count for something。〃
Handsome still； in spite of his dark sunburn and his time…stained khaki； Carew's face was wonderfully attractive； as it looked into that of h
