on the firing line-第23章

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〃You　believe　in　luck；　then？〃

〃Yes；　or　Fate。　What　else　makes　a　man　move　out　of　the　way；　just　in　time　for　the　bullet　to　graze　his　cheek？　He　doesn't　see　the　bullet　coming；　neither　does　the　man　who　stops　it。　Both　of　them　are　busy　about　something　else。　For　the　man　who　escapes　it；　it　is　Providence；　for　the　man　who　gets　killed；　it　is　Fate。〃

She　tried　to　rouse　him　from　his　sudden　gravity。

〃And　for　both；　it　is　mere　chance。〃

〃If　you　call　it　that。　Miss　Dent〃　He　hesitated。

〃Yes；〃　she　assented　gravely。

〃It　was　only　a　chance；　but　a　strange　one；〃　he　went　on；　with　his　eyes　fixed　on　the　topmost　ridge　of　his　brown　puttie。　〃We　were　climbing　the　face　of　a　kopje；　one　day。　It　was　very　steep；　and　we　crawled　up　a　narrow　trail　in　single　file。　Two　days　before；　our　guns　had　been　shelling　the　whole　kopje；　and　they　must　have　cracked　it　up　badly。　All　at　once；　the　man　above　me　loosened　a　great　lump　of　rock。　I　was　exactly　underneath　it。　It　gave　a　little　bound　outward；　went　completely　over　me　and　struck　full　on　the　head　of　the　next　man　in　line。〃

The　girl　sat；　bending　forward　in　her　chair；　her　strong；　quiet　hands　clasped　loosely　in　her　lap。

〃And　he？〃　she　asked　quite　low。

〃He　dropped　to　the　foot　of　the　kopje；　dead。　In　his　fall；　he　dragged　down　the　next　man　after　him；　and　his　leg　was　crushed。〃

〃And　you　were　saved！〃　she　said　a　bit　breathlessly。

〃Doesn't　it　make　you　feel　a　vague　responsibility；　as　if　you　must　live　up　to　something　that　you　couldn't　quite　understand？〃

Without　looking　up；　he　bowed　in　assent。

〃Yes；〃　he　said　then。　〃Don't　think　me　foolishly　superstitious；　Miss　Dent；　or　too　egotistic。　I　try　not　to　pay　much　attention　to　it。　Once　in　a　while；　though；　not　too　often；　it　all　comes　back　over　me；　and　I　feel　then　as　if　my　life　might　have　been　kept　for　something　that　is　still　ahead　of　me。〃

〃And　doesn't　it　leave　you　feeling　anxious　about　making　all　your　decisions？〃　she　asked　slowly；　as　she　leaned　back　again　in　her　chair。

〃At　first。　Then　I　remember　how　that；　and　some　other　things　have　been　settled　for　me。〃

〃What　then？〃

〃Then　I　shut　my　teeth　and　face　forward。　All　one　can　do；　is　to　forget　the　future　and　take　the　present　as　it　comes；　making　the　best　of　each　minute　and　leaving　the　hour　to　look　out　for　itself；〃　he　answered　simply。　〃Sometimes　one　makes　better　progress　by　drifting　than　he　does　by　punting　against　the　current。〃

She　bit　her　lip。

〃Sometimes　I　think；　though〃　Suddenly　she　roused　herself　and　gave　a　nervous　little　laugh。　〃Captain　Frazer　is　coming　up　the　steps；〃　she　added。

〃You　think？〃　Weldon　reminded　her；　as　she　rose。

But　she　shook　her　head　and　laughed　again；　this　time　more　in　her　natural　manner。

〃I　think　that　I　wish　you　would　bring　Mr。　Carew　to　call　on　me；　next　time　you　come；〃　she　said　evasively。

〃Thank　you。　He　will　be　glad　to　come。　The　only　question　is　when　the　next　time　will　arrive。〃

〃You　said　Captain　Frazer　was　a　prophet；〃　she　said；　as　she　moved　towards　the　door。　〃Ask　him。〃

Tall；　alert；　eager；　the　Captain　entered　the　room　in　time　to　catch　her　words。

〃A　prophet　of　what　and　to　whom；　Miss　Dent？〃　he　asked；　as　he　bowed　over　her　outstretched　hand。

〃To　Mr。　Weldon；　in　regard　to　the　future　fighting；〃　she　answered　gayly。

〃You　here；　Weldon？〃

〃Yes；　to　say　good　by。〃

Captain　Frazer　nodded。

〃I　saw　Mitchell；　this　morning。　He　spoke　well　of　you；　of　Carew；　too；　for　the　matter　of　that。　He　told　me　your　troop　would　be　off　in　the　morning；　and　asked　me　to　diagnose　；your　best　points。〃

〃Could　you　find　any？〃　Weldon　asked　imperturbably。　〃A　few。　I　told　him　you　could　sit　tight　and　shoot　straight；〃　the　Captain　answered；　laughing。　Then　he　added　gravely；　〃And　I　also　told　him　you　could　ride　the　fiend　incarnate；　and　that；　as　far　as　I　knew；　you　didn't　lose　your　head　when　you　were　under　fire。〃

For　the　instant；　Weldon　forgot　his　hostess；　as　he　looked　up　to　meet　the　Captain's　blue　eyes　squarely。

〃Thank　you。　But　it　is　more　than　I　deserve。〃

〃Then　you　must　try　to　live　up　to　it；〃　Ethel　advised　him　languidly。　〃It　merely　increases　your　responsibilities；　for　now　you　have　two　reputations　to　support；　your　own　for　pluck　and　the　Captain's　for　being　a　judge　of　his　fellowmen。　It　is　an　awful　weight　that　you　are　carrying　on　your　shoulders；　Mr。　Weldon。〃

〃If　it　grows　too　heavy；　I　will　slide　some　of　it　off　on　your　own；〃　he　returned；　as　he　picked　up　his　hat　and　rose　to　his　feet。　〃Your　responsibility　is　back　of　mine；　Miss　Dent。　It　was　you　who　advised　me　to　stay　in　South　Africa。〃

〃Not　at　all。　I　presented　the　case　and　kept　my　advice　to　myself；〃　she　rebelled　promptly。

〃Certain　presentments　are　stronger　than　much　advising。〃

〃Perhaps。　But　in　the　end；　you　remember；　I　commended　your　soul　to　Captain　Frazer's　keeping。〃

He　bowed　with　the　odd；　old…fashioned　deference　which　it　pleased　him　to　assume　at　times。　〃Captain　Frazer　may　have　saved　it；　but　it　may　have　been　you　who　made　it　worth　his　efforts　at　salvation。〃

She　laughed　again。　Nevertheless；　her　eyes　showed　her　pleasure。

〃Then　we；　Captain　Frazer　and　I；　must　divide　the　responsibility　for　your　future；〃　she　replied。　〃In　any　case；　may　it　be　all　good！〃

The　drapery　fell　backward　over　his　departing　figure；　and；　for　an　instant；　Ethel　stood　staring　at　the　swaying　folds。　Then；　turning；　she　walked　back　to　the　fire。

〃All　good；〃　she　repeated。　〃I　know　you　echo　the　wish；　Captain　Frazer。　Butisn't　it　hard　to　say　good　by？〃

〃In　these　days　most　of　all；〃　he　assented　slowly。　〃And　one　never　can　tell　when　his　own　turn　may　come。〃

〃Nor　what　its　end　may　be；〃　she　added。　Then　impetuously　she　rose　again　and　moved　up　and　down　the　room。　〃Look　at　that　sunshine　outside；　Captain　Frazer；〃　she　said　restlessly。　〃It　ought　to　forbid　any　such　gloomy　moods。　I　believe　all　this　war　and　so　many　partings　are　spoiling　my　nerve。　I　really　feel　quite　blue；　to…day；　and　Mr。　Weldon　made　it　worse。〃

〃By　saying　good　by？〃

Glancing　up；　she　was　astonished　at　the　wishful；　hungry　look　in　the　blue　eyes　before　her。　〃Yes；　a　little；〃　she　said　lightly；　〃for　I　hate　the　very　word。　But；　if　it　must　be　spoken；　it　should　always　be　short　and　staccato。　Instead；　he　sat　here；　and　we　talked　about　Fate　and　wounds　and　all　sorts　of　direful　things。〃　She　shook　herself　and　shivered　slightly。　Then　she　sat　down　in　the　chair　which　Weldon　had　just　left　vacant。　〃It　is　bad　manners　to　have　nerves；　Captain　Frazer。　Forgive　me　first；　and　then　tell　me　something　altogether　flippant；　to　make　me　forget　things。〃

But　her　mood　had　caught　the　Captain　in　its　grasp。

〃Are　you　sure　you　want　to　forget？〃　he　asked　her　gravely。

〃Yes；〃　she　made　vehement　answer。　〃Always！〃

But　not　even　her　decided　answer　brought　back　the　eager　light　into　his　dark　blue　eyes。

Nevertheless；　an　hour　later　found　him　still　sitting　there。　Ethel's　depression　had　vanished；　to　be　followed　by　a　mood　of　wayward　merriment　for　which　the　honest；　straightforward　soldier　was　totally　at　a　loss　to　account。　Sincere　himself；　he　looked　for　sincerity　in　others。　If　Ethel's　gravity　had　been　unfeigned；　how　could　it　so　soon　give　place　to　her　present　buoyancy？　Not　the　strictest　code　of　hospitality　could　demand　that　a　hostess　should　straightway　toss　aside　the　thought　of　the　parting　guest　who　had　gone　away　to　battle　and；　perhaps；　to　sudden　death。　And；　if　the　girl　had　been　insincere　in　her　parting　from　Weldon；　why　should　she　be　sincere　in　her　present　absorption　in　his　own　interests？　And；　if　her　regrets　for　Weldon　were　as　great　as　they　had　seemed　to　be；　then　what　was　the　use　of　his　remaining　by　her　side　any　longer？　The　horns　of　the　dilemma　extended　themselves　to　infinity　and　branched　again　and　again　as　they　extended。　Meanwhile；　his　eyes　were　full　of　trouble；　and　his　answers　to　her　questions　were　vague　and　faltering。　Until　her　sudden　trip　to　Johannesburg；　Captain　Frazer　had　taken　the　girl　as　a　matter　of　course。　Since　then；　he　had　begun　to　doubt；　and　the　doubts　were　thickening。

But；　after　all；　there　was　no　real　reason　for　doubt。　During　her　one　short　season　in　London；　the　Captain　had　met　Ethel　constantly；　he　had　been　quite　obviously　the　favorite　of　the　old　aunt　who　had　presided　over　the　girl's　introduction　to　society；　and　his　later　meetings　with　Ethel　at　sundry　week…end　gatherings　had　convinced　him　that　he　had　no　serious　rival。　Then　had　come　the　war；　and　Ethel's　absence　from　town　had　m