the two brothers-第15章

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as　he　had　been　living　the　last　year。　The　luxury　that　surrounded

Mariette；　the　dinners；　the　suppers；　the　evenings　in　the　side…scenes；

the　animation　of　wits　and　journalists；　the　sort　of　racket　that　went　on

around　him；　the　delights　that　tickled　both　his　senses　and　his　vanity；

such　a　life；　found　only　in　Paris；　and　offering　daily　the　charm　of

some　new　thing；　was　now　more　than　habit；it　had　become　to　Philippe　as

much　a　necessity　as　his　tobacco　or　his　brandy。　He　saw　plainly　that　he

could　not　live　without　these　continual　enjoyments。　The　idea　of　suicide

came　into　his　head；　not　on　account　of　the　deficit　which　must　soon　be

discovered　in　his　accounts；　but　because　he　could　no　longer　live　with

Mariette　in　the　atmosphere　of　pleasure　in　which　he　had　disported

himself　for　over　a　year。　Full　of　these　gloomy　thoughts；　he　entered　for

the　first　time　his　brother's　painting…room；　where　he　found　the　painter

in　a　blue　blouse；　copying　a　picture　for　a　dealer。



〃So　that's　how　pictures　are　made；〃　said　Philippe；　by　way　of　opening

the　conversation。



〃No；〃　said　Joseph；　〃that　is　how　they　are　copied。〃



〃How　much　do　they　pay　you　for　that？〃



〃Eh！　never　enough；　two　hundred　and　fifty　francs。　But　I　study　the

manner　of　the　masters　and　learn　a　great　deal；　I　found　out　the　secrets

of　their　method。　There's　one　of　my　own　pictures；〃　he　added；　pointing

with　the　end　of　his　brush　to　a　sketch　with　the　colors　still　moist。



〃How　much　do　you　pocket　in　a　year？〃



〃Unfortunately；　I　am　known　only　to　painters。　Schinner　backs　me；　and　he

has　got　me　some　work　at　the　Chateau　de　Presles；　where　I　am　going　in

October　to　do　some　arabesques；　panels；　and　other　decorations；　for

which　the　Comte　de　Serizy；　no　doubt；　will　pay　well。　With　such　trifles

and　with　orders　from　the　dealers；　I　may　manage　to　earn　eighteen

hundred　to　two　thousand　francs　a　year　over　and　above　the　working

expenses。　I　shall　send　that　picture　to　the　next　exhibition；　if　it　hits

the　public　taste；　my　fortune　is　made。　My　friends　think　well　of　it。〃



〃I　don't　know　anything　about　such　things；〃　said　Philippe；　in　a　subdued

voice　which　caused　Joseph　to　turn　and　look　at　him。



〃What　is　the　matter？〃　said　the　artist；　seeing　that　his　brother　was

very　pale。



〃I　should　like　to　know　how　long　it　would　take　you　to　paint　my

portrait？〃



〃If　I　worked　steadily；　and　the　weather　were　clear；　I　could　finish　it

in　three　or　four　days。〃



〃That's　too　long；　I　have　only　one　day　to　give　you。　My　poor　mother

loves　me　so　much　that　I　wished　to　leave　her　my　likeness。　We　will　say

no　more　about　it。〃



〃Why！　are　you　going　away　again？〃



〃I　am　going　never　to　return；〃　replied　Philippe　with　an　air　of　forced

gayety。



〃Look　here；　Philippe；　what　is　the　matter？　If　it　is　anything　serious；　I

am　a　man　and　not　a　ninny。　I　am　accustomed　to　hard　struggles；　and　if

discretion　is　needed；　I　have　it。〃



〃Are　you　sure？〃



〃On　my　honor。〃



〃You　will　tell　no　one；　no　matter　who？〃



〃No　one。〃



〃Well；　I　am　going　to　blow　my　brains　out。〃



〃You！are　you　going　to　fight　a　duel？〃



〃I　am　going　to　kill　myself。〃



〃Why？〃



〃I　have　taken　eleven　hundred　francs　from　the　funds　in　my　hands；　I　have

got　to　send　in　my　accounts　to…morrow　morning。　Half　my　security　is

lost；　our　poor　mother　will　be　reduced　to　six　hundred　francs　a　year。

That　would　be　nothing！　I　could　make　a　fortune　for　her　later；　but　I　am

dishonored！　I　cannot　live　under　dishonor〃



〃You　will　not　be　dishonored　if　it　is　paid　back。　To　be　sure；　you　will

lose　your　place；　and　you　will　only　have　the　five　hundred　francs　a　year

from　your　cross；　but　you　can　live　on　five　hundred　francs。〃



〃Farewell！〃　said　Philippe；　running　rapidly　downstairs；　and　not　waiting

to　hear　another　word。



Joseph　left　his　studio　and　went　down　to　breakfast　with　his　mother；　but

Philippe's　confession　had　taken　away　his　appetite。　He　took　Madame

Descoings　aside　and　told　her　the　terrible　news。　The　old　woman　made　a

frightened　exclamation；　let　fall　the　saucepan　of　milk　she　had　in　her

hand；　and　flung　herself　into　a　chair。　Agathe　rushed　in；　from　one

exclamation　to　another　the　mother　gathered　the　fatal　truth。



〃He！　to　fail　in　honor！　the　son　of　Bridau　to　take　the　money　that　was

trusted　to　him！〃



The　widow　trembled　in　every　limb；　her　eyes　dilated　and　then　grew

fixed；　she　sat　down　and　burst　into　tears。



〃Where　is　he？〃　she　cried　amid　the　sobs。　〃Perhaps　he　has　flung　himself

into　the　Seine。〃



〃You　must　not　give　up　all　hope；〃　said　Madame　Descoings；　〃because　a

poor　lad　has　met　with　a　bad　woman　who　has　led　him　to　do　wrong。　Dear

me！　we　see　that　every　day。　Philippe　has　had　such　misfortunes！　he　has

had　so　little　chance　to　be　happy　and　loved　that　we　ought　not　to　be

surprised　at　his　passion　for　that　creature。　All　passions　lead　to

excess。　My　own　life　is　not　without　reproach　of　that　kind；　and　yet　I

call　myself　an　honest　woman。　A　single　fault　is　not　vice；　and　after

all；　it　is　only　those　who　do　nothing　that　are　never　deceived。〃



Agathe's　despair　overcame　her　so　much　that　Joseph　and　the　Descoings

were　obliged　to　lessen　Philippe's　wrong…doings　by　assuring　her　that

such　things　happened　in　all　families。



〃But　he　is　twenty…eight　years　old；〃　cried　Agathe；　〃he　is　no　longer　a

child。〃



Terrible　revelation　of　the　inward　thought　of　the　poor　woman　on　the

conduct　of　her　son。



〃Mother；　I　assure　you　he　thought　only　of　your　sufferings　and　of　the

wrong　he　had　done　you；〃　said　Joseph。



〃Oh；　my　God！　let　him　come　back　to　me；　let　him　live；　and　I　will　forgive

all；〃　cried　the　poor　mother；　to　whose　mind　a　horrible　vision　of

Philippe　dragged　dead　out　of　the　river　presented　itself。



Gloomy　silence　reigned　for　a　short　time。　The　day　went　by　with　cruel

alternations　of　hope　and　fear；　all　three　ran　to　the　window　at　the

least　sound；　and　gave　way　to　every　sort　of　conjecture。　While　the

family　were　thus　grieving；　Philippe　was　quietly　getting　matters　in

order　at　his　office。　He　had　the　audacity　to　give　in　his　accounts　with

a　statement　that；　fearing　some　accident；　he　had　retained　eleven

hundred　francs　at　his　own　house　for　safe　keeping。　The　scoundrel　left

the　office　at　five　o'clock；　taking　five　hundred　francs　more　from　the

desk；　and　coolly　went　to　a　gambling…house；　which　he　had　not　entered

since　his　connection　with　the　paper；　for　he　knew　very　well　that　a

cashier　must　not　be　seen　to　frequent　such　a　place。　The　fellow　was　not

wanting　in　acumen。　His　past　conduct　proved　that　he　derived　more　from

his　grandfather　Rouget　than　from　his　virtuous　sire；　Bridau。　Perhaps　he

might　have　made　a　good　general；　but　in　private　life；　he　was　one　of

those　utter　scoundrels　who　shelter　their　schemes　and　their　evil

actions　behind　a　screen　of　strict　legality；　and　the　privacy　of　the

family　roof。



At　this　conjuncture　Philippe　maintained　his　coolness。　He　won　at　first；

and　gained　as　much　as　six　thousand　francs；　but　he　let　himself　be

dazzled　by　the　idea　of　getting　out　of　his　difficulties　at　one　stroke。

He　left　the　trente…et…quarante；　hearing　that　the　black　had　come　up

sixteen　times　at　the　roulette　table；　and　was　about　to　put　five

thousand　francs　on　the　red；　when　the　black　came　up　for　the　seventeenth

time。　The　colonel　then　put　a　thousand　francs　on　the　black　and　won。　In

spite　of　this　remarkable　piece　of　luck；　his　head　grew　weary；　he　felt

it；　though　he　continued　to　play。　But　that　divining　sense　which　leads　a

gambler；　and　which　comes　in　flashes；　was　already　failing　him。

Intermittent　perceptions；　so　fatal　to　all　gamblers；　set　in。　Lucidity

of　mind；　like　the　rays　of　the　sun；　can　have　no　effect　except　by　the

continuity　of　a　direct　line；　it　can　divine　only　on　condition　of　not

breaking　that　line；　the　curvettings　of　chance　bemuddle　it。　Philippe

lost　all。　After　such　a　strain；　the　careless　mind　as　well　as　the

bravest　weakens。　When　Philippe　went　home　that　night　he　was　not

thinking　of　suicide；　for　he　had　never　really　meant　to　kill　himself；　he

no　longer　thought　of　his　lost　place；　nor　of　the　sacrificed　security；

nor　of　h