armadale-第90章
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〃I have made no objection。〃
〃I don't say you have。 But you don't seem to like the notion of
it； for all that。〃
There was another pause。 Midwinter was the first to break the
silence this time。
〃Are you sure of yourself； Allan？〃 he asked； with his face bent
once more over the book。 〃Are you really attached to this lady？
Have you thought seriously already of asking her to be your
wife？〃
〃I am thinking seriously of it at this moment；〃 said Allan。 〃I
can't be happyI can't live without her。 Upon my soul； I worship
the very ground she treads on！〃
〃How long〃 His voice faltered； and he stopped。 〃How long；〃 he
reiterated； 〃have you worshipped the very ground she treads on？〃
〃Longer than you think for。 I know I can trust you with all my
secrets〃
〃Don't trust me！〃
〃Nonsense！ I _will_ trust you。 There is a little difficulty in
the way which I haven't mentioned yet。 It's a matter of some
delicacy； and I want to consult you about it。 Between ourselves；
I have had private opportunities with Miss Gwilt〃
Midwinter suddenly started to his feet； and opened the door。
〃We'll talk of this to…morrow；〃 he said。 〃Good…night。〃
Allan looked round in astonishment。 The door was closed again；
and he was alone in the room。
〃He has never shaken hands with me！〃 exclaimed Allan； looking
bewildered at the empty chair。
As the words passed his lips the door opened； and Midwinter
appeared again。
〃We haven't shaken hands；〃 he said； abruptly。 〃God bless you；
Allan！ We'll talk of it to…morrow。 Good…night。〃
Allan stood alone at the window； looking out at the pouring rain。
He felt ill at ease； without knowing why。 〃Midwinter's ways get
stranger and stranger；〃 he thought。 〃What can he mean by putting
me off till to…morrow； when I wanted to speak to him to…night？〃
He took up his bedroom candle a little impatiently； put it down
again； and； walking back to the open window； stood looking out in
the direction of the cottage。 〃I wonder if she's thinking of me？〃
he said to himself softly。
She _was_ thinking of him。 She had just opened her desk to write
to Mrs。 Oldershaw； and her pen had that moment traced the opening
line： 〃Make your mind easy。 I have got him！〃
CHAPTER XIII。
EXIT。
IT rained all through the night； and when the morning came it was
raining still。
Contrary to his ordinary habit； Midwinter was waiting in the
breakfast…room when Allan entered it。 He looked worn and weary；
but his smile was gentler and his manner more composed than
usual。 To Allan's surprise he approached the subject of the
previous night's conversation of his own accord as soon as the
servant was out of the room。
〃I am afraid you thought me very impatient and very abrupt with
you last night；〃 he said。 〃I will try to make amends for it this
morning。 I will hear everything you wish to say to me on the
subject of Miss Gwilt。〃
〃I hardly like to worry you；〃 said Allan。 〃You look as if you had
had a bad night's rest。〃
〃I have not slept well for some time past；〃 replied Midwinter；
quietly。 〃Something has been wrong with me。 But I believe I have
found out the way to put myself right again without troubling the
doctors。 Late in the morning I shall have something to say to you
about this。 Let us get back first to what you were talking of
last night。 You were speaking of some difficulty〃 He hesitated；
and finished the sentence in a tone so low that Allan failed to
hear him。 〃Perhaps it would be better；〃 he went on； 〃if； instead
of speaking to me； you spoke to Mr。 Brock？〃
〃I would rather speak to _you；_〃 said Allan。 〃But tell me first；
was I right or wrong last night in thinking you disapproved of my
falling in love with Miss Gwilt？〃
Midwinter's lean； nervous fingers began to crumble the bread in
his plate。 His eyes looked away from Allan for the first time。
〃If you have any objection；〃 persisted Allan； 〃I should like to
hear it。〃
Midwinter suddenly looked up again； his cheeks turning ashy pale；
and his glittering black eyes fixed full on Allan's face。
〃You love her；〃 he said。 〃Does _she_ love _you？_〃
〃You won't think me vain？〃 returned Allan。 〃I told you yesterday
I had had private opportunities with her〃
Midwinter's eyes dropped again to the crumbs on his plate。 〃I
understand；〃 he interposed； quickly。 〃You were wrong last night。
I had no objections to make。〃
〃Don't you congratulate me？〃 asked Allan； a little uneasily。
〃Such a beautiful woman！ such a clever woman！〃
Midwinter h eld out his hand。 〃I owe you more than mere
congratulations；〃 he said。 〃In anything which is for your
happiness I owe you help。〃 He took Allan's hand； and wrung it
hard。 〃Can I help you？〃 he asked； growing paler and paler as he
spoke。
〃My dear fellow；〃 exclaimed Allan； 〃what is the matter with you？
Your hand is as cold as ice。〃
Midwinter smiled faintly。 〃I am always in extremes；〃 he said； 〃my
hand was as hot as fire the first time you took it at the old
west…country inn。 Come to that difficulty which you have not come
to yet。 You are young； rich； your own masterand she loves you。
What difficulty can there be？〃
Allan hesitated。 〃I hardly know how to put it；〃 he replied。 〃As
you said just now； I love her； and she loves me； and yet there is
a sort of strangeness between us。 One talks a good deal about
one's self when one is in love； at least I do。 I've told her all
about myself and my mother； and how I came in for this place； and
the rest of it。 Wellthough it doesn't strike me when we are
togetherit comes across me now and then； when I'm away from
her； that she doesn't say much on her side。 In fact； I know no
more about her than you do。〃
〃Do you mean that you know nothing about Miss Gwilt's family and
friends？〃
〃That's it； exactly。〃
〃Have you never asked her about them？〃
〃I said something of the sort the other day；〃 returned Allan：
〃and I'm afraid； as usual； I said it in the wrong way。 She
lookedI can't quite tell you how； not exactly displeased；
butoh； what things words are！ I'd give the world； Midwinter； if
I could only find the right word when I want it as well as you
do。〃
〃Did Miss Gwilt say anything to you in the way of a reply？〃
〃That's just what I was coming to。 She said； 'I shall have a
melancholy story to tell you one of these days； Mr。 Armadale；
about myself and my family； but you look so happy； and the
circumstances are so distressing； that I have hardly the heart to
speak of it now。' Ah； _she_ can express herselfwith the tears
in her eyes； my dear fellow； with the tears in her eyes！ Of
course； I changed the subject directly。 And now the difficulty is
how to get back to it； delicately； without making her cry again。
We _must_ get back to it； you know。 Not on my account； I am quite
content to marry her first and hear of her family misfortunes；
poor thing； afterward。 But I know Mr。 Brock。 If I can't satisfy
him about her family when I write to tell him of this （which； of
course； I must do）； he will be dead against the whole thing。 I'm
my own master； of course； and I can do as I like about it。 But
dear old Brock was such a good friend to my poor mother； and he
has been such a good friend to meyou see what I mean； don't
you？〃
〃Certainly； Allan； Mr。 Brock has been your second father。 Any
disagreement between you about such a serious matter as this
would be the saddest thing that could happen。 You ought to
satisfy him that Miss Gwilt is （what I am sure Miss Gwilt will
prove to be） worthy； in every way worthy〃 His voice sank in
spite of him； and he left the sentence unfinished。
〃Just my feeling in the matter！〃 Allan struck in； glibly。 〃Now we
can come to what I particularly wanted to consult you about。 If
this was your case； Midwinter； you would be able to say the right
words to heryou would put it delicately； even though you were
putting it quite in the dark。 I can't do that。 I 'm a blundering
sort of fellow； and I'm horribly afraid； if I can't get some hint
at the truth to help me at starting； of saying something to
distress her。 Family misfortunes are such tender subjects to
touch on； especially with such a refined woman； such a
tender…hearted woman； as Miss Gwilt。 There may have been some
dreadful death in the
