armadale-第174章

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alter　my　mind。　Wait　a　little；　till　he　finds　that　Midwinter　won't
sail　with　him　either！　。　。　。　。

〃October　30th。Nothing　new　to　record　until　to…day。　To…day　the
change　in　our　lives　here　has　come　at　last！

〃Armadale　presented　himself　this　morning；　in　his　noisiest　high
spirits；　to　announce　that　the　yacht　was　ready　for　sea；　and　to　ask
when　Midwinter　would　be　able　to　go　on　board。　I　told　him　to　make
the　inquiry　himself　in　Midwinter's　room。　He　left　me；　with　a　last
request　that　I　would　consider　my　refusal　to　sail　with　him。　I
answered　by　a　last　apology　for　persisting　in　my　resolution；　and
then　took　a　chair　alone　at　the　window　to　wait　the　event　of　the
interview　in　the　next　room。

〃My　whole　future　depended　now　on　what　passed　between　Midwinter
and　his　friend！　Everything　had　gone　smoothly　up　to　this　time。　The
one　danger　to　dread　was　the　danger　of　Midwinter's　resolution；　or
rather　of　Midwinter's　fatalism；　giving　way　at　the　last　moment。　If
he　allowed　himself　to　be　persuaded　into　accompanying　Armadale　on
the　cruise；　Manuel's　exasperation　against　me　would　hesitate　at
nothinghe　would　remember　that　I　had　answered　to　him　for
Armadale's　sailing　from　Naples　alone；　and　he　would　be　capable　of
exposing　my　whole　past　life　to　Midwinter　before　the　vessel　left
the　port。　As　I　thought　of　this；　and　as　the　slow　minutes　followed
each　other；　and　nothing　reached　my　ears　but　the　hum　of　voices　in
the　next　room；　my　suspense　became　almost　unendurable。　It　was　vain
to　try　and　fix　my　attention　on　what　was　going　on　in　the　street。　I
sat　looking　mechanically　out　of　the　window；　and　seeing　nothing。

〃SuddenlyI　can't　say　in　how　long　or　how　short　a　timethe　hum
of　voices　ceased；　the　door　opened；　and　Armadale　showed　himself　on
the　threshold；　alone。

〃　'I　wish　you　good…by；'　he　said；　roughly。　'And　I　hope；　when　I　am
married；　my　wife　may　never　cause　Midwinter　the　disappointment
that　Midwinter's　wife　has　caused　_me！_'

〃He　gave　me　an　angry　look；　and　made　me　an　angry　bow；　and；　turning
sharply；　left　the　room。

〃I　saw　the　people　in　the　street　again！　I　saw　the　calm　sea；　and
the　masts　of　the　shipping　in　the　harbor　where　the　yacht　lay！　I
could　think；　I　could　breathe　freely　once　more！　The　words　that
saved　me　from　Manuelthe　words　that　might　be　Armadale's　sentence
of　deathhad　been　spoken。　The　yacht　was　to　sail　without
Midwinter；　as　well　as　without　Me！

〃My　first　feeling　of　exultation　was　almost　maddening。　But　it　was
the　feeling　of　a　moment　only。　My　heart　sank　in　me　again　when　I
thought　of　Midwinter　alone　in　the　next　room。

〃I　went　out　into　the　passage　to　listen；　and　heard　nothing。　I
tapped　gently　at　his　door；　and　got　no　answer。　I　opened　the　door
and　looked　in。　He　was　sitting　at　the　table；　with　his　face　hidden
in　his　hands。　I　looked　at　him　in　silence；　and　saw　the　glistening
of　the　tears　as　they　trickled　through　his　fingers。

〃　'Leave　me；'　he　said；　without　moving　his　hands。　'I　must　get　over
it　by　myself。'

〃I　went　back　into　the　sitting…room。　Who　can　understand　women？　we
don't　even　understand　ourselves。　His　sending　me　away　from　him　in
that　manner　cut　me　to　the　heart。　I　don't　believe　the　most
harmless　and　most　gentle　woman　living　could　have　felt　it　more
acutely　than　I　felt　it。　And　this；　after　what　I　have　been　doing！
this；　after　what　I　was　thinking　of；　the　moment　before　I　went　into
his　room！　Who　can　account　for　it？　NobodyI　least　of　all！

〃Half　an　hour　later　his　door　opened；　and　I　heard　him　hurrying
down　the　stairs。　I　ran　on　without　waiting　to　think；　and　asked　if
I　might　go　with　him。　He　neither　stopped　nor　answered。　I　went　back
to　the　window；　and　saw　him　pass；　walking　rapidly　away；　with　his
back　turned　on　Naples　and　the　sea。

〃I　can　understand　now　that　he　might　not　have　heard　me。　At　the
time　I　thought　him　inexcusably　and　brutally　unkind　to　me。　I　put
on　my　bonnet；　in　a　frenzy　of　rage　with　him；　I　sent　out　for　a
carriage；　and　told　the　man　to　take　me　where　he　liked。　He　took　me；
as　he　took　other　strangers；　to　the　Museum　to　see　the　statues　and
the　pictures。　I　flounced　from　room　to　room；　with　my　face　in　a
flame；　and　the　people　all　staring　at　me。　I　came　to　myself　again；
I　don't　know　how。　I　returned　to　the　carriage；　and　made　the　man
drive　me　back　in　a　violent　hurry；　I　don't　know　why。　I　tossed　off
my　cloak　and　bonnet；　and　sat　down　once　more　at　the　window。　The
sight　of　the　sea　cooled　me。　I　forgot　Midwinter；　and　thought　of
Armadale　and　his　yacht。　There　wasn't　a　breath　of　wind；　there
wasn't　a　cloud　in　the　sky；　the　wide　waters　of　the　Bay　were　as
smooth　as　the　surface　of　a　glass。

〃The　sun　sank；　the　short　twilight　came　and　went。　I　had　some　tea；
and　sat　at　the　table　thinking　and　dreaming　over　it。　When　I　roused
myself　and　went　back　to　the　window；　the　moon　was　up；　but　the
quiet　sea　was　as　quiet　as　ever。

〃I　was　still　looking　out；　when　I　saw　Midwinter　in　the　street
below；　coming　back。　I　was　composed　enough　by　this　time　to
remember　his　habits；　and　to　guess　that　he　had　been　trying　to
relieve　the　oppression　on　his　mind　by　one　of　his　long　solitary
walks。　When　I　heard　him　go　into　his　own　room；　I　was　too　prudent
to　disturb　him　again：　I　waited　his　pleasure　where　I　was。

〃Before　long　I　heard　his　window　opened；　and　I　saw　him；　from　my
window；　step　into　the　balcony；　and；　after　a　look　at　the　sea；　hold
up　his　hand　to　the　air。　I　was　too　stupid；　for　the　moment；　to
remember　that　he　had　once　been　a　sailor；　and　to　know　what　this
meant。　I　waited；　and　wondered　what　would　happen　next。

〃He　went　in　again；　and；　after　an　interval；　came　out　once　more；
and　held　up　his　hand　as　before　to　the　air。　This　time　he　waited；
leaning　on　the　balcony　rail；　and　looking　out　steadily；　with　all
his　attention　absorbed　by　the　sea。

〃For　a　long；　long　time　he　never　moved。　Then；　on　a　sudden；　I　saw
him　start。　The　next　moment　he　sank　on　his　knees；　with　his　clasped
hands　resting　on　the　balcony　rail。　'God　Almighty　bless　and　keep
you；　Allan！'　he　said；　fervently。　'Good…by；　forever！'

〃I　looked　out　to　the　sea。　A　soft；　steady　breeze　was　blowing；　and
the　rippled　surface　of　the　water　was　sparkling　in　the　quiet
moonlight。　I　looked　again；　and　there　passed　slowly；　between　me
and　the　track　of　the　moon；　a　long　black　vessel　with　tall；
shadowy；　ghostlike　sails；　gliding　smooth　and　noiseless　through
the　water；　like　a　snake。

〃The　wind　had　come　fair　with　the　night；　and　Armadale's　yacht　had
sailed　on　the　trial　cruise。

CHAPTER　III。

THE　DIARY　BROKEN　OFF。

〃London；　November　19th。I　am　alone　again　in　the　Great　City；
alone；　for　the　first　time　since　our　marriage。　Nearly　a　week　since
I　started　on　my　homeward　journey；　leaving　Midwinter　behind　me　at
Turin。

〃The　days　have　been　so　full　of　events　since　the　month　began；　and
I　have　been　so　harassed；　in　mind　and　body　both；　for　the　greater
part　of　the　time；　that　my　Diary　has　been　wretchedly　neglected。　A
few　notes；　written　in　such　hurry　and　confusion　that　I　can　hardly
understand　them　myself；　are　all　that　I　possess　to　remind　me　of
what　has　happened　since　the　night　when　Armadale's　yacht　left
Naples。　Let　me　try　if　I　can　set　this　right　without　more　loss　or
time；　let　me　try　if　I　can　recall　the　circumstances　in　their　order
as　they　have　followed　each　other　from　the　beginning　of　the　month。


〃On　the　3d　of　Novemberbeing　then　still　at　NaplesMidwinter
received　a　hurried　letter　from　Armadale；　date　'Messina。'　'The
weather；'　he　said；　'had　been　lovely；　and　the　yacht　had　made　one
of　the　quickest　passages　on　record。　The　crew　were　rather　a　rough
set　to　look　at；　but　Captain　Manuel　and　his　English　mate'　（the
latter　described　as　'the　best　of　good　fellows'）　'managed　them
admirably。'　After　this　prosperous　beginning；　Armadale　had
arranged；　as　a　matter　of　course；　to　prolong　the　cruise；　and；　at
the　sailing…master's　suggestion；　he　had　decided　to　visit　some　of
the　ports　in　the　Adriatic；　which　the　captain　had　described　as
full　of　character；　and　well　worth　seeing。

〃A　postscript　followed；　explaining　that　Armadale　had　written　in　a
hurry　to　catch　the　steamer　to　Naples；　and　that　he　had　opened　his
letter　again；　before　sending　it　off；　to　add　something　that　he　had
forgotten。　On　the　day　before　the　yacht　sailed；　he　had　been　at　the
banker's　to　get　'a　few　hundreds　in　gold；　'　and　he　believed　he　had
left　his　cigar…case　there。　It　was　an　ol