armadale-第168章
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〃He was seated in the great； ugly； old…fashioned chair； which I
ordered to be removed into the dressing…room out of the way when
we first came here。 His head lay back； and one of his hands hung
listlessly over the arm of the chair。 The other hand was on his
lap。 I stole a little nearer； and saw that exhaustion had
overpowered him while he was either reading or writing； for there
were books； pens； ink； and paper on the table before him。 What
had he got up to do secretly； at that hour of the morning？ I
looked closer at the papers on the table。 They were all neatly
folded （as he usually keeps them）； with one exception； and that
exception； lying open on the rest； was Mr。 Brock's letter。
〃I looked round at him again； after making this discovery； and
then noticed for the first time another written paper； lying
under the hand that rested on his lap。 There was no moving it
away without the risk of waking him。 Part of the open manuscript；
however； was not covered by his hand。 I looked at it to see what
he had secretly stolen away to read； besides Mr。 Brock's letter；
and made out enough to tell me that it was the Narrative of
Armadale's Dream。
〃That second discovery sent me back at once to my bedwith
something serious to think of。
〃Traveling through France； on our way to this place； Midwinter's
shyness was conquered for once； by a very pleasant manan Irish
doctorwhom we met in the railway carriage； and who quite
insisted on being friendly and sociable with us all through the
day's journey。 Finding that Midwinter was devoting himself to
literary pursuits； our traveling companion warned him not to pass
too many hours together at his desk。 'Your face tells me more
than you think；' the doctor said： 'If you are ever tempted to
overwork your brain； you will feel it sooner than most men。 When
you find your nerves playing you strange tricks； don't neglect
the warningdrop your pen。'
〃After my last night's discovery in the dressing…room； it looks
as if Midwinter's nerves were beginning already to justify the
doctor's opinion of them。 If one of the tricks they are playing
him is the trick of tormenting him again with his old
superstitious terrors； there will be a change in our lives here
before long。 I shall wait curiously to see whether the conviction
that we two are destined to bring fatal danger to Armadale takes
possession of Midwinter's mind once more。 If it does； I know what
will happen。 He will not stir a step toward helping his friend to
find a crew for the yacht； and he will certainly refuse to sail
with Armadale； or to let me sail with him； on the trial cruise。
〃October 23d。Mr。 Brock's letter has； apparently； not lost its
influence yet。 Midwinter is working again to…day； and is as
anxious as ever for the holiday…time that he is to pass with his
friend。
〃Two o'clock。Armadale here as usual； eager to know when
Midwinter will be at his service。 No definite answer to be given
to the question yet； seeing that it all depends on Midwinter's
capacity to continue at his desk。 Armadale sat down disappointed；
he yawned； and put his great clumsy hands in his pockets。 I took
up a book。 The brute didn't understand that I wanted to be left
alone； he began again on the unendurable subject of Miss Milroy；
and of all the fine things she was to have when he married her。
Her own riding…horse； her own pony…carriage； her own beautiful
little sitting…room upstairs at the great house； and so on。 All
that I might have had once Miss Milroy is to have now_if I let
her。_
〃Six o'clock。More of the everlasting Armadale！ Half an hour
since； Midwinter came in from his writing； giddy and exhausted。 I
had been pining all day for a little music； and I knew they were
giving 'Norma' at the theater here。 It struck me that an hour or
two at the opera might do Midwinter good； as well as me； and I
said： 'Why not take a box at the San Carlo to…night？' He
answered； in a dull； uninterested manner； that he was not rich
enough to take a box。 Armadale was present； and flourished his
well…filled purse in his usual insufferable way。 '_I'm_ rich
enough； old boy； and it comes to the same thing。' With those
words he took up his hat； and trampled out on his great
elephant's feet to get the box。 I looked after him from the
window as he went down the street。 'Your widow； with her twelve
hundred a year；' I thought to myself； 'might take a box at the
San Carlo whenever she pleased； without being beholden to
anybody。' The empty…headed wretch whistled as he went his way to
the theater； and tossed his loose silver magnificently to every
beggar who ran after him。
* * * * *
〃Midnight。I am alone again at last。 Have I nerve enough to
write the history of this terrible evening； just as it has
passed？ I have nerve enough； at any rate； to turn to a new leaf；
and try。
CHAPTER II。
THE DIARY CONTINUED。
〃WE went to the San Carlo。 Armadale's stupidity showed itself；
even in such a simple matter as taking a box。 He had confounded
an opera with a play； and had chosen a box close to the stage；
with the idea that one's chief object at a musical performance is
to see the faces of the singers as plainly as possible！
Fortunately for our ears； Bellini's lovely melodies are； for the
most part； tenderly and delicately accompaniedor the orchestra
might have deafened us。
〃I sat back in the box at first； well out of sight； for it was
impossible to be sure that some of my old friends of former days
at Naples might not be in the theater。 But the sweet music
gradually tempted me out of my seclusion。 I was so charmed and
interested that I leaned forward without knowing it； and looked
at the stage。
〃I was made aware of my own imprudence by a discovery which； for
the moment； literally chilled my blood。 One of the singers； among
the chorus of Druids； was looking at me while he sang with the
rest。 His head was disguised in the long white hair； and the
lower part of his face was completely covered with the flowing
white beard proper to the character。 But the eyes with which he
looked at me were the eyes of the one man on earth whom I have
most reason to dread ever seeing againManuel！
〃If it had not been for my smelling…bottle； I believe I should
have lost my senses。 As it was； I drew back again into the
shadow。 Even Armadale noticed the sudden change in me： he； as
well as Midwinter； asked if I was ill。 I said I felt the heat；
but hoped I should be better presently； and then leaned back in
the box； and tried to rally my courage。 I succeeded in recovering
self…possession enough to be able to look again at the stage
（without showing myself） the next time the chorus appeared。 There
was the man again！ But to my infinite relief he never looked
toward our box a second time。 This welcome indifference； on his
part； helped to satisfy me that I had seen an extraordinary
accidental resemblance； and nothing more。 I still hold to this
conclusion； after having had leisure to think； but my mind would
be more completely at ease than it is if I had seen the rest of
the man's face without the stage disguises that hid it from all
investigation。
〃When the curtain fell on the first act； there was a tiresome
ballet to be performed （according to the absurd Italian cust om）；
before the opera went on。 Though I had got over my first fright；
I had been far too seriously startled to feel comfortable in the
theater。 I dreaded all sorts of impossible accidents； and when
Midwinter and Armadale put the question to me； I told them I was
not well enough to stay through the rest of the performance。
〃At the door of the theater Armadale proposed to say good…night。
But Midwinterevidently dreading the evening with _me_asked
him to come back to supper； if I had no objection。 I said the
necessary words； and we all three returned together to this
house。
〃Ten minutes' quiet in my own room （assisted by a little dose of
eau…de…cologne and water） restored me to myself。 I joined the men
at the supper…table。 They received my apologies for taking them
away from the opera； with the complimentary assurance that I had
not cost either of them the slightest sacrifice of his own
plea
