armadale-第156章

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〃Preserve　your　present　conviction　that　the　events　which　have
happened　（be　they　what　they　may）　are　not　to　be　reconciled　with
ordinary　mortal　coincidences　and　ordinary　mortal　laws；　and　view
your　own　position　by　the　best　and　clearest　light　that　your
superstition　can　throw　on　it。　What　are　you？　You　are　a　helpless
instrument　in　the　hands　of　Fate。　You　are　doomed；　beyond　all　human
capacity　of　resistance；　to　bring　misery　and　destruction　blindfold
on　a　man　to　whom　you　have　harmlessly　and　gratefully　united
yourself　in　the　bonds　of　a　brother's　love。　All　that　is　morally
firmest　in　your　will　and　morally　purest　in　your　aspirations
avails　nothing　against　the　hereditary　impulsion　of　you　toward
evil；　caused　by　a　crime　which　your　father　committed　before　you
were　born。　In　what　does　that　belief　end？　It　ends　in　the　darkness
in　which　you　are　now　lost；　in　the　self…contradictions　in　which
you　are　now　bewildered；　in　the　stubborn　despair　by　which　a　man
profanes　his　own　soul；　and　lowers　himself　to　the　level　of　the
brutes　that　perish。

〃Look　up；　my　poor　suffering　brotherlook　up；　my　hardly　tried；　my
well…loved　friend；　higher　than　this！　Meet　the　doubts　that　now
assail　you　from　the　blessed　vantage…ground　of　Christian　courage
and　Christian　hope；　and　your　heart　will　turn　again　to　Allan；　and
your　mind　will　be　at　peace。　Happen　what　may；　God　is　all…merciful；
God　is　all…wise：　natural　or　supernatural；　it　happens　through　Him。
The　mystery　of　Evil　that　perplexes　our　feeble　minds；　the　sorrow
and　the　suffering　that　torture　us　in　this　little　life；　leave　the
one　great　truth　unshaken　that　the　destiny　of　man　is　in　the　hands
of　his　Creator；　and　that　God's　blessed　Son　died　to　make　us
worthier　of　it。　Nothing　that　is　done　in　unquestioning　submission
to　the　wisdom　of　the　Almighty　is　done　wrong。　No　evil　exists　out
of　which；　in　obedience　to　his　laws；　Good　may　not　come。　Be　true　to
what　Christ　tells　you　is　true。　Encourage　in　yourself；　be　the
circumstances　what　they　may；　all　that　is　loving；　all　that　is
grateful；　all　that　is　patient；　all　that　is　forgiving；　toward　your
fellow…men。　And　humbly　and　trustfully　leave　the　rest　to　the　God
who　made　you；　and　to　the　Saviour　who　loved　you　better　than　his
own　life。

〃This　is　the　faith　in　which　I　have　lived；　by　the　Divine　help　and
mercy；　from　my　youth　upward。　I　ask　you　earnestly；　I　ask　you
confidently；　to　make　it　your　faith；　too。　It　is　the　mainspring　of
all　the　good　I　have　ever　done；　of　all　the　happiness　I　have　ever
known；　it　lightens　my　darkness；　it　sustains　my　hope；　it　comforts
and　quiets　me；　lying　here；　to　live　or　die；　I　know　not　which。　Let
it　sustain；　comfort；　and　enlighten　you。　It　will　help　you　in　your
sorest　need；　as　it　has　helped　me　in　mine。　It　will　show　you
another　purpose　in　the　events　which　brought　you　and　Allan
together　than　the　purpose　which　your　guilty　father　foresaw。
Strange　things；　I　do　not　deny　it；　have　happened　to　you　already。
Stranger　things　still　may　happen　before　long；　which　I　may　not
live　to　see。　Remember；　if　that　time　comes；　that　I　died　firmly
disbelieving　in　your　influence　over　Allan　being　other　than　an
influence　for　good。　The　great　sacrifice　of　the　AtonementI　say
it　reverentlyhas　its　mortal　reflections；　even　in　this　world。　If
danger　ever　threatens　Allan；　you；　whose　father　took　his　father's
lifeYOU；　and　no　other；　may　be　the　man　whom　the　providence　of
God　has　appointed　to　save　him。

〃Come　to　me　if　I　live。　Go　back　to　the　friend　who　loves　you；
whether　I　live　or　die。

〃Yours　affectionately　to　the　last；

〃DECIMUS　BROCK。〃

〃　'YOU；　and　no　other；　may　be　the　man　whom　the　providence　of　God
has　appointed　to　save　him！'

〃Those　are　the　words　which　have　shaken　me　to　the　soul。　Those　are
the　words　which　make　me　feel　as　if　the　dead　man　had　left　his
grave；　and　had　put　his　hand　on　the　place　in　my　heart　where　my
terrible　secret　lies　hidden　from　every　living　creature　but
myself。　One　part　of　the　letter　has　come　true　already。　The　danger
that　it　foresees　threatens　Armadale　at　this　momentand　threatens
him　from　Me！

〃If　the　favoring　circumstances　which　have　driven　me　thus　far
drive　me　on　to　the　end；　and　if　that　old　man's　last　earthly
conviction　is　prophetic　of　the　truth；　Armadale　will　escape　me；　do
what　I　may。　And　Midwinter　will　be　the　victim　who　is　sacrificed　to
save　his　life。

〃It　is　horrible！　it　is　impossible！　it　shall　never　be！　At　the
thinking　of　it　only；　my　hand　trembles　and　my　heart　sinks。　I　bless
the　trembling　that　unnerves　me！　I　bless　the　sinking　that　turns　me
faint！　I　bless　those　words　in　the　letter　which　have　revived　the
relenting　thoughts　that　first　came　to　me　two　days　since！　Is　it
hard；　now　that　events　are　taking　me；　smoothly　and　safely；　nearer
and　nearer　to　the　Endis　it　hard　to　conquer　the　temptation　to　go
on？　No！　If　there　is　only　a　chance　of　harm　coming　to　Midwinter；
the　dread　of　that　chance　is　enough　to　decide　meenough　to
strengthen　me　to　conquer　the　temptation；　for　his　sake。　I　have
never　loved　him　yet；　never；　never；　never　as　I　love　him　now！


〃Sunday；　August　10th。The　eve　of　my　wedding…day！　I　close　and
lock　this　book；　never　to　write　in　it；　never　to　open　it　again。

〃I　have　won　the　great　victory；　I　have　trampled　my　own　wickedness
under　foot。　I　am　innocent；　I　am　happy　again。　My　love！　my　angel！
when　to…morrow　gives　me　to　you；　I　will　not　have　a　thought　in　my
heart　which　is　not　_your_　thought；　as　well　as　mine！〃

CHAPTER　XV。

THE　WEDDING…DAY。

THE　time　was　nine　o'clock　in　the　morning。　The　place　was　a　private
room　in　one　of　the　old…fashioned　inns　which　still　remain　on　the
Borough　side　of　the　Thames。　The　date　was　Monday；　the　11th　of
August。　And　the　person　was　Mr。　Bashwood；　who　had　traveled　to
London　on　a　summons　from　his　son；　and　had　taken　up　his　abode　at
the　inn　on　the　previous　day。

He　had　never　yet　looked　so　pitiably　old　and　helpless　as　he　looked
now。　The　fever　and　chill　of　alternating　hope　and　despair　had
dried；　and　withered；　and　wasted　him。　The　angles　of　his　figure　had
sharpened。　The　outline　of　his　face　had　shrunk。　His　dress　pointed
the　melancholy　change　in　him　with　a　merciless　and　shocking
emphasis。　Never；　even　in　his　youth；　had　he　worn　such　clothes　as
he　wore　now。　With　the　desperate　resolution　to　leave　no　chance
untried　of　producing　an　impression　on　Miss　Gwilt；　he　had　cast
aside　his　dreary　black　garments；　he　had　even　mustered　the　courage
to　wear　his　blue　satin　cravat。　His　coat　was　a　riding…coat　of
light　gray。　He　had　ordered　it；　with　a　vindictive　subtlety　of
purpose；　to　be　made　on　the　pattern　of　a　coat　that　he　had　seen
Allan　wear。　His　waistcoat　was　white；　his　trousers　were　of　the
gayest　summer　pattern；　in　the　largest　check。　His　wig　was　oiled
and　scented；　and　brushed　round；　on　either　side；　to　hide　the
wrinkles　on　his　temples。　He　was　an　object　to　laugh　at；　he　was　an
object　to　weep　over。　His　enemies；　if　a　creature　so　wretched　could
have　had　enemies；　would　have　forgiven　him；　on　seeing　him　in　his
new　dress。　His　friendshad　any　of　his　friends　been　leftwould
have　been　less　distressed　if　they　had　looked　at　him　in　his　coffin
than　if　they　had　looked　at　him　as　he　was　now。　Incessantly
restless；　he　paced　the　room　from　end　to　end。　Now　he　looked　at　his
watch；　now　he　looked　out　of　the　window；　now　he　looked　at　the
well…furnished　breakfast…tablealways　with　the　same　wistful；
uneasy　inquiry　in　his　eyes。　The　waiter　coming　in；　with　the　urn　of
boiling　water；　was　addressed　for　the　fiftieth　time　in　the　one
form　of　words　which　the　miserable　creature　seemed　to　be　capable
of　uttering　that　morning：　〃My　son　is　coming　to　breakfast。　My　son
is　very　particular。　I　want　everything　of　the　besthot　things　and
cold　thingsand　tea　and　coffeeand　all　the　rest　of　it；　waiter；
all　the　rest　of　it。〃　For　the　fiftieth　time；　he　now　reiterated
those　anxious　words。　For　the　fiftieth　time；　the　impenetrable
waiter　had　just　returned　his　one　pacifying　answer；　〃All　right；
sir；　you　may　leave　it　to　me〃when　the　sound　of　leisurely
footsteps　was　heard　on　the　stairs；　the　door　opened；　and　the
long…expected　son　sauntered　indolently　into　the　room；　with　a　neat
little　black　leather　bag　in　his　hand。

〃Well　done；　old　gentleman！〃　said　Bashwood　the　younger；　surveying
his　father's　dress　with　a　smile　of　sardonic　encouragement。
〃You're　ready　to　be　married　to　Miss　Gwilt　at