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第155章

armadale-第155章

小说: armadale 字数: 每页4000字

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enlightened me in my sleep。 All I could guess dreaming was what I
had guessed waking; that Mother Oldershaw is the enemy who is
attacking me in the dark。

〃My restless night has; however; produced one satisfactory
result。 It has led to my winning the good graces of the servant
here; and securing all the assistance she can give me when the
time comes for making my escape。

〃The girl noticed this morning that I looked pale and anxious。 I
took her into my confidence; to the extent of telling her that I
was privately engaged to be married; and that I had enemies who
were trying to part me from my sweetheart。 This instantly roused
her sympathy; and a present of a ten…shilling piece for her kind
services to me did the rest。 In the intervals of her housework
she has been with me nearly the whole morning; and I found out;
among other things; that _her_ sweetheart is a private soldier in
the Guards; and that she expects to see him to…morrow。 I have got
money enough left; little as it is; to turn the head of any
Private in the British army; and; if the person appointed to
watch me to…morrow is a man; I think it just possible that he may
find his attention disagreeably diverted from Miss Gwilt in the
course of the evening。

〃When Midwinter came here last from the railway; he came at
half…past eight。 How am I to get through the weary; weary hours
between this and the evening? I think I shall darken my bedroom;
and drink the blessing of oblivion from my bottle of Drops。


〃Eleven o'clock。We have parted for the last time before the day
comes that makes us man and wife。

〃He has left me。 as he left me before; with an absorbing subject
of interest to think of in his absence。 I noticed a change in him
the moment he entered the room。 When he told me of the funeral;
and of his parting with Armadale on board the yacht; though he
spoke with feelings deeply moved; he spoke with a mastery over
himself which is new to me in my experience of him。 It was the
same when our talk turned next on our own hopes and prospects。 He
was plainly disappointed when he found that my family
embarrassments would prevent our meeting to…morrow; and plainly
uneasy at the prospect of leaving me to find my way by myself on
Monday to the church。 But there was a certain hopefulness and
composure of manner underlying it all; which produced so strong
an impression on me that I was obliged to notice it。

〃 'You know what odd fancies take possession of me sometimes;' I
said。 'Shall I tell you the fancy that has taken possession of me
now? I can't help thinking that something has happened since we
last saw each other which you have not told me yet。

〃 'Something _has_ happened;' he answered。 'And it is something
which you ought to know。'

〃With those words he took out his pocket…book; and produced two
written papers from it。 One he looked at and put back。 The other
he placed on the table。

〃 'Before I tell you what this is; and how it came into my
possession;' he said; 'I must own something that I have concealed
from you。 It is no more serious confession than the confession of
my own weakness。'

〃He then acknowledged to me that the renewal of his friendship
with Armadale had been clouded; through the whole period of their
intercourse in London; by his own superstitious misgivings。 He
had obeyed the summons which called him to the rector's bedside;
with the firm intention of confiding his previsions of coming
trouble to Mr。 Brock; and he had been doubly confirmed in his
superstition when he found that Death had entered the house
before him; and had parted them; in this world; forever。 More
than this; he had traveled back to be present at the funeral;
with a secret sense of relief at the prospect of being parted
from Armadale; and with a secret resolution to make the
after…meeting agreed on between us three at Naples a meeting that
should never take place。 With that purpose in his heart; he had
gone up alone to the room prepared for him on his arrival at the
rectory; and had opened a letter which he found waiting for him
on the table。 The letter had only that day been
discovereddropped and lostunder the bed on which Mr。 Brock
had died。 It was in the rector's handwriting throughout; and the
person to whom it was addressed was Midwinter himself。

〃Having told me this; nearly in the words in which I have written
it; he gave me the written paper that lay on the table between
us。

〃 'Read it;' he said; 'and you will not need to be told that my
mind is at peace again; and that I took Allan's hand at parting
with a heart that was worthier of Allan's love。'

〃I read the letter。 There was no superstition to be conquered in
_my_ mind; there were no old feelings of gratitude toward
Armadale to be roused in _my_ heart; and yet; the effect which
the letter had had on Midwinter was; I firmly believe; more than
matched by the effect that the letter now produced on Me。

〃It was vain to ask him to leave it; and to let me read it again
(as I wished) when I was left by myself。 He is determined to keep
it side by side with that other paper which I had seen him take
out of his pocket…book; and which contains the written narrative
of Armadale's Dream。 All I could do was to ask his leave to copy
it; and this he granted readily。 I wrote the copy in his
presence; and I now place it here in my diary; to mark a day
which is one of the memorable days in my life。

〃Boscombe Rectory; August 2d。

〃MY DEAR MIDWINTERFor the first time si nce the beginning of my
illness; I found strength enough yesterday to look over my
letters。 One among them is a letter from Allan; which has been
lying unopened on my table for ten days past。 He writes to me in
great distress; to say that there has been dissension between
you; and that you have left him。 If you still remember what
passed between us。 when you first opened your heart to me in the
Isle of Man; you will be at no loss to understand how I have
thought over this miserable news; through the night that has now
passed; and you will not be surprised to hear that I have roused
myself this morning to make the effort of writing to you。

〃I want no explanation of the circumstances which have parted you
from your friend。 If my estimate of your character is not founded
on an entire delusion; the one influence which can have led to
your estrangement from Allan is the influence of that evil spirit
of Superstition which I have once already cast out of your
heartwhich I will once again conquer; please God; if I have
strength enough to make my pen speak my mind to you in this
letter。

〃It is no part of my design to combat the belief which I know you
to hold; that mortal creatures may be the objects of supernatural
intervention in their pilgrimage through this world。 Speaking as
a reasonable man; I own that I cannot prove you to be wrong。
Speaking as a believer in the Bible; I am bound to go further;
and to admit that you possess a higher than any human warrant for
the faith that is in you。 The one object which I have it at heart
to attain is to induce you to free yourself from the paralyzing
fatalism of the heathen and the savage; and to look at the
mysteries that perplex; and the portents that daunt you; from the
Christian's point of view。 If I can succeed in this; I shall
clear your mind of the ghastly doubts that now oppress it; and I
shall reunite you to your friend; never to be parted from him
again。

〃I have no means of seeing and questioning you。 I can only send
this letter to Allan to be forwarded; if he knows; or can
discover; your present address。 Placed in this position toward
you; I am bound to assume all that _can_ be assumed in your
favor。 I will take it for granted that something has happened to
you or to Allan which to your mind has not only confirmed the
fatalist conviction in which your father died; but has added a
new and terrible meaning to the warning which he sent you in his
death…bed letter。

〃On this common ground I meet you。 On this common ground I appeal
to your higher nature and your better sense。

〃Preserve your present conviction that the events which have
happened (be they what they may) are not to be reconc

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