armadale-第149章

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that　is　of　the　slightest　use　to　me！　My　miserable　made…up　story
must　be　told　over　again　here；　while　the　incidents　are　fresh　in　my
memoryor　how　am　I　to　refer　to　it　consistently　on
after…occasions　when　I　may　be　obliged　to　speak　of　it　again？

〃There　was　nothing　new　in　what　I　told　him；　it　was　the　commonplace
rubbish　of　the　circulating　libraries。　A　dead　father；　a　lost
fortune；　vagabond　brothers；　whom　I　dread　ever　seeing　again；　a
bedridden　mother　dependent　on　my　exertionsNo！　I　can't　write　it
down！　I　hate　myself；　I　despise　myself；　when　I　remember　that　_he_
believed　it　because　I　said　itthat　_he_　was　distressed　by　it
because　it　was　my　story！　I　will　face　the　chances　of　contradicting
myselfI　will　risk　discovery　and　ruinanything　rather　than
dwell　on　that　contemptible　deception　of　him　a　moment　longer。

〃My　lies　came　to　an　end　at　last。　And　then　he　talked　to　me　of
himself　and　of　his　prospects。　Oh；　what　a　relief　it　was　to　turn　to
that　at　the　time！　What　a　relief　it　is　to　come　to　it　now！

〃He　has　accepted　the　offer　about　which　he　wrote　to　me　at　Thorpe
Ambrose；　and　he　is　now　engaged　as　occasional　foreign
correspondent　to　the　new　newspaper。　His　first　destination　is
Naples。　I　wish　it　had　been　some　other　place；　for　I　have　certain
past　associations　with　Naples　which　I　am　not　at　all　anxious　to
renew。　It　has　been　arranged　that　he　is　to　leave　England　not　later
than　the　eleventh　of　next　month。　By　that　time；　therefore；　I；　who
am　to　go　with　him；　must　go　with　him　as　his　wife。

〃There　is　not　the　slightest　difficulty　about　the　marriage。　All
this　part　of　it　is　so　easy　that　I　begin　to　dread　an　accident。

〃The　proposal　to　keep　the　thing　strictly　privatewhich　it　might
have　embarrassed　me　to　makecomes　from　Midwinter。　Marrying　me　in
his　own　namethe　name　that　he　has　kept　concealed　from　every
living　creature　but　myself　and　Mr。　Brockit　is　his　interest　that
not　a　soul　who　knows　him　should　be　present　at　the　ceremony；　his
friend　Armadale　least　of　all。　He　has　been　a　week　in　London
already。　When　another　week　has　passed；　he　proposes　to　get　the
License；　and　to　be　married　in　the　church　belonging　to　the　parish
in　which　the　hotel　is　situated。　These　are　the　only　necessary
formalities。　I　had　but　to　say　'Yes'　（he　told　me）；　and　to　feel　no
further　anxiety　about　the　future。　I　said　'Yes'　with　such　a
devouring　anxiety　about　the　future　that　I　was　afraid　he　would　see
it。　What　minutes　the　next　few　minutes　were；　when　he　whispered
delicious　words　to　me；　while　I　hid　my　face　on　his　breast！

〃I　recovered　myself　first；　and　led　him　back　to　the　subject　of
Armadale；　having　my　own　reasons　for　wanting　to　know　what　they
said　to　each　other　after　I　had　left　them　yesterday。

〃The　manner　in　which　Midwinter　replied　showed　me　that　he　was
speaking　under　the　restraint　of　respecting　a　confidence　placed　in
him　by　his　friend。　Long　before　he　had　done；　I　detected　what　the
confidence　was。　Armadale　had　been　consulting　him　（exactly　as　I
anticipated）　on　the　subject　of　the　elopement。　Although　he　appears
to　have　remonstrated　against　taking　the　girl　secretly　away　from
her　home；　Midwinter　seems　to　have　felt　some　delicacy　about
speaking　strongly；　remembering　（widely　different　as　the
circumstances　are）　that　he　was　contemplating　a　private　marriage
himself。　I　gathered；　at　any　rate；　that　he　had　produced　very
little　effect　by　what　he　had　said；　and　that　Armadale　had　already
carried　out　his　absurd　intention　of　consulting　the　head…clerk　in
the　office　of　his　London　lawyers。

〃Having　got　as　far　as　this；　Midwinter　put　the　question　which　I
felt　must　come　sooner　or　later。　He　asked　if　I　objected　to　our
engagement　being　mentioned；　in　the　strictest　secrecy；　to　his
friend。

〃　'I　will　answer；'　he　said；　'for　Allan's　respecting　any
confidence　that　I　place　in　him。　And　I　will　undertake；　when　the
time　comes；　so　to　use　my　influence　over　him　as　to　prevent　his
being　present　at　the　marriage；　and　discovering　（what　he　must
never　know）　that　my　name　is　the　same　as　his　own。　It　would　help
me；'　he　went　on；　'to　speak　more　strongly　about　the　object　that
has　brought　him　to　London；　if　I　can　requite　the　frankness　with
which　he　has　spoken　of　his　private　affairs　to　me　by　the　same
frankness　on　my　side。'

〃I　had　no　choice　but　to　give　the　necessary　permission；　and　I　gave
it。　It　is　of　the　utmost　importance　to　me　to　know　what　course
Major　Milroy　takes　with　his　daughter　and　Armadale　after　receiving
my　anonymous　letter；　and；　unless　I　invite　Armadale's　confidence
in　some　way；　I　am　nearly　certain　to　be　kept　in　the　dark。　Let　him
once　be　trusted　with　the　knowledge　that　I　am　to　be　Midwinter's
wife；　and　what　he　tells　his　friend　about　his　love　affair　he　will
tell　me。

〃When　it　had　been　understood　between　us　that　Armadale　was　to　be
taken　into　our　confid　ence；　we　began　to　talk　about　ourselves
again。　How　the　time　flew！　What　a　sweet　enchantment　it　was　to
forget　everything　in　his　arms！　How　he　loves　me！ah；　poor　fellow；
how　he　loves　me！

〃I　have　promised　to　meet　him　to…morrow　morning　in　the　Regent's
Park。　The　less　he　is　seen　here　the　better。　The　people　in　this
house　are　strangers　to　me；　certainly；　but　it　may　be　wise　to
consult　appearances；　as　if　I　was　still　at　Thorpe　Ambrose；　and　not
to　produce　the　impression；　even　on　their　minds；　that　Midwinter　is
engaged　to　me。　If　any　after…inquiries　are　made；　when　I　have　run
my　grand　risk；　the　testimony　of　my　London　landlady　might　be
testimony　worth　having。

〃That　wretched　old　Bashwood！　Writing　of　Thorpe　Ambrose　reminds　me
of　him。　What　will　he　say　when　the　town　gossip　tells　him　that
Armadale　has　taken　me　to　London；　in　a　carriage　reserved　for
ourselves？　It　really　is　too　absurd　in　a　man　of　Bashwood's　age　and
appearance　to　presume　to　be　in　love！　。　。　。　。


〃July　30th。…News　at　last！　Armadale　has　heard　from　Miss　Milroy。
My　anonymous　letter　has　produced　its　effect。　The　girl　is　removed
from　Thorpe　Ambrose　already；　and　the　whole　project　of　the
elopement　is　blown　to　the　winds　at　once　and　forever。　This　was　the
substance　of　what　Midwinter　had　to　tell　me　when　I　met　him　in　the
Park。　I　affected　to　be　excessively　astonished；　and　to　feel　the
necessary　feminine　longing　to　know　all　the　particulars。　'Not　that
I　expect　to　have　my　curiosity　satisfied；'　I　added；　'for　Mr。
Armadale　and　I　are　little　better　than　mere　acquaintances；　after
all。'

〃　'You　are　far　more　than　a　mere　acquaintance　in　Allan's　eyes；'
said　Midwinter。　'Having　your　permission　to　trust　him；　I　have
already　told　him　how　near　and　dear　you　are　to　me。'

〃Hearing　this；　I　thought　it　desirable；　before　I　put　any　questions
about　Miss　Milroy；　to　attend　to　my　own　interests　first；　and　to
find　out　what　effect　the　announcement　of　my　coming　marriage　had
produced　on　Armadale。　It　was　possible　that　he　might　be　still
suspicious　of　me；　and　that　the　inquiries　he　made　in　London；　at
Mrs。　Milroy's　instigation；　might　be　still　hanging　on　his　mind。

〃　'Did　Mr。　Armadale　seem　surprised；'　I　asked；　'when　you　told　him
of　our　engagement；　and　when　you　said　it　was　to　be　kept　a　secret
from　everybody？'

〃　'He　seemed　greatly　surprised；'　said　Midwinter；　'to　hear　that　we
were　going　to　be　married。　All　he　said　when　I　told　him　it　must　be
kept　a　secret　was　that　he　supposed　there　were　reasons　on　your
side　for　making　the　marriage　a　private　one。'

〃　'What　did　you　say；'　I　inquired；　'when　he　made　that　remark？'

〃　'I　said　the　reasons　were　on　my　side；'　answered　Midwinter。　'And
I　thought　it　right　to　addconsidering　that　Allan　had　allowed
himself　to　be　misled　by　the　ignorant　distrust　of　you　at　Thorpe
Ambrosethat　you　had　confided　to　me　the　whole　of　your　sad　family
story；　and　that　you　had　amply　justified　your　unwillingness；　under
any　ordinary　circumstances；　to　speak　of　your　private　affairs。'

（〃I　breathed　freely　again。　He　had　said　just　what　was　wanted；　just
in　the　right　way。）

〃　'Thank　you；'　I　said；　'for　putting　me　right　in　your　friend's
estimation。　Does　he　wish　to　see　me？'　I　added；　by　way　of　getting
back　to　the　other　subject　of　Miss　Milroy　and　the　elopement。

〃　'He　is　longing　to　see　you；'　returned　Midwinter。　'He　is　in　great
distress；　poor　fellowdistress　which　I　have　done　my　best　to
soothe；　but　which；　I　believe；　would　yield　far　more　readily　to　a
woman's　sympathy　than　to　mine。'

〃　'Where　is　he　now？'　I　asked。