armadale-第116章

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conversation　which　she　had　thus　far　persistently　restricted　to
the　subject　of　Midwinter's　walking　tour；　〃if　I　g　uessed　that　you
have　something　on　your　mindsomething　which　neither　my　tea　nor
my　talk　can　charm　away？　Are　men　as　curious　as　women？　Is　the
somethingMe？〃

Midwinter　struggled　against　the　fascination　of　looking　at　her　and
listening　to　her。　〃I　am　very　anxious　to　hear　what　has　happened
since　I　have　been　away；〃　he　said。　〃But　I　am　still　more　anxious；
Miss　Gwilt；　not　to　distress　you　by　speaking　of　a　painful
subject。〃

She　looked　at　him　gratefully。　〃It　is　for　your　sake　that　I　have
avoided　the　painful　subject；〃　she　said；　toying　with　her　spoon
among　the　dregs　in　her　empty　cup。　〃But　you　will　hear　about　it
from　others；　if　you　don't　hear　about　it　from　me；　and　you　ought　to
know　why　you　found　me　in　that　strange　situation；　and　why　you　see
me　here。　Pray　remember　one　thing；　to　begin　with。　I　don't　blame
your　friend；　Mr。　Armadale。　I　blame　the　people　whose　instrument　he
is。〃

Midwinter　started。　〃Is　it　possible；〃　he　began；　〃that　Allan　can　be
in　any　way　answerable？〃　He　stopped；　and　looked　at　Miss　Gwilt　in
silent　astonishment。

She　gently　laid　her　hand　on　his。　〃Don't　be　angry　with　me　for　only
telling　the　truth；〃　she　said。　〃Your　friend　is　answerable　for
everything　that　has　happened　to　meinnocently　answerable；　Mr。
Midwinter；　I　firmly　believe。　We　are　both　victims。　_He_　is　the
victim　of　his　position　as　the　richest　single　man　in　the
neighborhood；　and　I　am　the　victim　of　Miss　Milroy's　determination
to　marry　him。〃

〃Miss　Milroy？〃　repeated　Midwinter；　more　and　more　astonished。
〃Why；　Allan　himself　told　me〃　He　stopped　again。

〃He　told　you　that　I　was　the　object　of　his　admiration？　Poor
fellow；　he　admires　everybody；　his　head　is　almost　as　empty　as
this；〃　said　Miss　Gwilt；　smiling　indicatively　into　the　hollow　of
her　cup。　She　dropped　the　spoon；　sighed；　and　became　serious　again。
〃I　am　guilty　of　the　vanity　of　having　let　him　admire　me；〃　she　went
on；　penitently；　〃without　the　excuse　of　being　able；　on　my　side；　to
reciprocate　even　the　passing　interest　that　he　felt　in　me。　I　don't
undervalue　his　many　admirable　qualities；　or　the　excellent
position　he　can　offer　to　his　wife。　But　a　woman's　heart　is　not　to
be　commandedno；　Mr。　Midwinter；　not　even　by　the　fortunate　master
of　Thorpe　Ambrose；　who　commands　everything　else。〃

She　looked　him　full　in　the　face　as　she　uttered　that　magnanimous
sentiment。　His　eyes　dropped　before　hers；　and　his　dark　color
deepened。　He　had　felt　his　heart　leap　in　him　at　the　declaration　of
her　indifference　to　Allan。　For　the　first　time　since　they　had
known　each　other；　his　interests　now　stood　self…revealed　before
him　as　openly　adverse　to　the　interests　of　his　friend。

〃I　have　been　guilty　of　the　vanity　of　letting　Mr。　Armadale　admire
me；　and　I　have　suffered　for　it；〃　resumed　Miss　Gwilt。　〃If　there
had　been　any　confidence　between　my　pupil　and　me；　I　might　have
easily　satisfied　her　that　she　might　become　Mrs。　Armadaleif　she
couldwithout　having　any　rivalry　to　fear　on　my　part。　But　Miss
Milroy　disliked　and　distrusted　me　from　the　first。　She　took　her
own　jealous　view；　no　doubt；　of　Mr。　Armadale's　thoughtless
attentions　to　me。　It　was　her　interest　to　destroy　the　position；
such　as　it　was；　that　I　held　in　his　estimation；　and　it　is　quite
likely　her　mother　assisted　her。　Mrs。　Milroy　had　her　motive　also
（which　I　am　really　ashamed　to　mention）　for　wishing　to　drive　me
out　of　the　house。　Anyhow；　the　conspiracy　has　succeeded。　I　have
been　forced　（with　Mr。　Armadale's　help）　to　leave　the　major's
service。　Don't　be　angry；　Mr。　Midwinter！　Don't　form　a　hasty
opinion！　I　dare　say　Miss　Milroy　has　some　good　qualities；　though　I
have　not　found　them　out；　and　I　assure　you　again　and　again　that　I
don't　blame　Mr。　Armadale。　I　only　blame　the　people　whose
instrument　he　is。〃

〃How　is　he　their　instrument？　How　can　he　be　the　instrument　of　any
enemy　of　yours？〃　asked　Midwinter。　〃Pray　excuse　my　anxiety；　Miss
Gwilt：　Allan's　good　name　is　as　dear　to　me　as　my　own！〃

Miss　Gwilt's　eyes　turned　full　on　him　again；　and　Miss　Gwilt's
heart　abandoned　itself　innocently　to　an　outburst　of　enthusiasm。
〃How　I　admire　your　earnestness！〃　she　said。　〃How　I　like　your
anxiety　for　your　friend！　Oh；　if　women　could　only　form　such
friendships！　Oh　you　happy；　happy　men！〃　Her　voice　faltered；　and
her　convenient　tea…cup　absorbed　her　for　the　third　time。　〃　I　would
give　all　the　little　beauty　I　possess；〃　she　said；　〃if　I　could　only
find　such　a　friend　as　Mr。　Armadale　has　found　in　_you。_　I　never
shall；　Mr。　MidwinterI　never　shall。　Let　us　go　back　to　what　we
were　talking　about。　I　can　only　tell　you　how　your　friend　is
concerned　in　my　misfortune　by　telling　you　something　first　about
myself。　I　am　like　many　other　governesses；　I　am　the　victim　of　sad
domestic　circumstances。　It　may　be　weak　of　me；　but　I　have　a　horror
of　alluding　to　them　among　strangers。　My　silence　about　my　family
and　my　friends　exposes　me　to　misinterpretation　in　my　dependent
position。　Does　it　do　me　any　harm；　Mr。　Midwinter；　in　your
estimation？〃

〃God　forbid！〃　said　Midwinter；　fervently。　〃There　is　no　man
living；〃　he　went　on；　thinking　of　his　own　family　story；　〃who　has
better　reason　to　understand　and　respect　your　silence　than　I
have。〃

Miss　Gwilt　seized　his　hand　impulsively。　〃Oh；〃　she　said；　〃I　knew
it；　the　first　moment　I　saw　you！　I　knew　that　you；　too；　had
suffered；　that　you；　too；　had　sorrows　which　you　kept　sacred！
Strange；　strange　sympathy！　I　believe　in　mesmerismdo　you？〃　She
suddenly　recollected　herself；　and　shuddered。　〃Oh；　what　have　I
done？　What　must　you　think　of　me？〃　she　exclaimed；　as　he　yielded　to
the　magnetic　fascination　of　her　touch；　and；　forgetting　everything
but　the　hand　that　lay　warm　in　his　own；　bent　over　it　and　kissed
it。　〃Spare　me！〃　she　said；　faintly；　as　she　felt　the　burning　touch
of　his　lips。　〃I　am　so　friendlessI　am　so　completely　at　your
mercy！〃

He　turned　away　from　her；　and　hid　his　face　in　his　hands；　he　was
trembling；　and　she　saw　it。　She　looked　at　him　while　his　face　was
hidden　from　her；　she　looked　at　him　with　a　furtive　interest　and
surprise。　〃How　that　man　loves　me！〃　she　thought。　〃I　wonder　whether
there　was　a　time　when　I　might　have　loved　_him？_〃

The　silence　between　them　remained　unbroken　for　some　minutes。　He
had　felt　her　appeal　to　his　consideration　as　she　had　never
expected　or　intended　him　to　feel　ithe　shrank　from　looking　at
her　or　from　speaking　to　her　again。

〃Shall　I　go　on　with　my　story？〃　she　asked。　〃Shall　we　forget　and
forgive　on　both　sides？〃　A　woman's　inveterate　indulgence　for　every
expression　of　a　man's　admiration　which　keeps　within　the　limits　of
personal　respect　curved　her　lips　gently　into　a　charming　smile。
She　looked　down　meditatively　at　her　dress；　and　brushed　a　crumb
off　her　lap　with　a　little　flattering　sigh。　〃I　was　telling　you；〃
she　went　on；　〃of　my　reluctance　to　speak　to　strangers　of　my　sad
family　story。　It　was　in　that　way；　as　I　afterward　found　out；　that
I　laid　myself　open　to　Miss　Milroy's　malice　and　Miss　Milroy's
suspicion。　Private　inquiries　about　me　were　addressed　to　the　lady
who　was　my　referenceat　Miss　Milroy's　suggestion；　in　the　first
instance；　I　have　no　doubt。　I　am　sorry　to　say；　this　is　not　the
worst　of　it。　By　some　underhand　means；　of　which　I　am　quite
ignorant；　Mr。　Armadale's　simplicity　was　imposed　on；　and；　when
application　was　made　secretly　to　my　reference　in　London；　it　was
made；　Mr。　Midwinter；　through　your　friend。〃

Midwinter　suddenly　rose　from　his　chair　and　looked　at　her。　The
fascination　that　she　exercised　over　him；　powerful　as　it　was；
became　a　suspended　influence；　now　that　the　plain　disclosure　came
plainly　at　last　from　her　lips。　He　looked　at　her；　and　sat　down
again；　like　a　man　bewildered；　without　uttering　a　word。

〃Remember　how　weak　he　is；〃　pleaded　Miss　Gwilt；　gently；　〃and　make
allowances　for　him　as　I　do。　The　trifling　accident　of　his　failing
to　find　my　reference　at　the　address　given　him　seems；　I　can't
imagine　why；　to　have　excited　Mr。　Armadale's　suspicion。　At　any
rate；　he　remained　in　London。　What　he　did　there；　it　is　impossible
for　me　to　say。　I　was　quite　in　the　dark；　I　knew　nothing：　I
distrusted　nobody；　I　was　as　happy　in　my　little　round　of　duties　as
I　could　be　with　a　pupil　whose　affections　I　had　failed　to　win；
when；　one　morning；　to　my　inde