armadale-第104章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


he　had　just　heard；　and　knowing　no　more　than　he　knewforced
itself　into　his　mind。　A　miserable；　fallen　woman；　who　had
abandoned　herself　in　her　extremity　to　the　help　of　wretches
skilled　in　criminal　concealment；　who　had　stolen　her　way　back　to
decent　society　and　a　reputable　employment　by　means　of　a　false
character；　and　whose　position　now　imposed　on　her　the　dreadful
necessity　of　perpetual　secrecy　and　perpetual　deceit　in　relation
to　her　past　lifesuch　was　the　aspect　in　which　the　beautiful
governess　at　Thorpe　Ambrose　now　stood　revealed　to　Allan's　eyes！

Falsely　revealed；　or　truly　revealed？　Had　she　stolen　her　way　back
to　decent　society　and　a　reputable　employment　by　means　of　a　false
character？　She　had。　Did　her　position　impose　on　her　the　dreadful
necessity　of　perpetual　secrecy　and　perpetual　deceit　in　relation
to　her　past　life？　It　did。　Was　she　some　such　pitiable　victim　to
the　treachery　of　a　man　unknown　as　Allan　had　supposed？　_She　was　no
such　pitiable　victim。_　The　conclusion　which　Allan　had　drawnthe
conclusion　literally　forced　into　his　mind　by　the　facts　before
himwas；　nevertheless；　the　conclusion　of　all　others　that　was
furthest　even　from　touching　on　the　truth。　The　true　story　of　Miss
Gwilt's　connection　with　the　house　in　Pimlico　and　the　people　who
inhabited　ita　house　rightly　described　as　filled　with　wicked
secrets；　and　people　rightly　represented　as　perpetually　in　danger
of　feeling　the　grasp　of　the　lawwas　a　story　which　coming　events
were　yet　to　disclose：　a　story　infinitely　less　revolting；　and　yet
infinitely　more　terrible；　than　Allan　or　Allan's　companion　had
either　of　them　supposed。

〃I　tried　to　spare　you；　Mr。　Armadale；〃　repeated　Pedgift。　〃I　was
anxious；　if　I　could　possibly　avoid　it；　not　to　distress　you。〃

Allan　looked　up；　and　made　an　effort　to　control　himself。　〃You　have
distressed　me　dreadfully；〃　he　said。　〃You　have　quite　crushed　me
down。　But　it　is　not　your　fault。　I　ought　to　feel　you　have　done　me
a　service；　and　what　I　ought　to　do　I　will　do；　when　I　am　my　own　man
again。　There　is　one　thing；〃　Allan　added；　after　a　moment's　painful
consideration；　〃which　ought　to　be　understood　between　us　at　once。
The　advice　you　offered　me　just　now　was　very　kindly　meant；　and　it
was　the　best　advice　that　could　be　given。　I　will　take　it
gratefully。　We　will　never　talk　of　this　again；　if　you　please；　and
I　beg　and　entreat　you　will　never　speak　about　it　to　any　other
person。　Will　you　promise　me　that？〃

Pedgift　gave　the　promise　with　very　evident　sincerity；　but　without
his　professional　confidence　of　manner。　The　distress　in　Allan's
face　seemed　to　daunt　him。　After　a　moment　of　very　uncharacteristic
hesitation；　he　considerately　quitted　the　room。

Left　by　himself；　Allan　rang　for　writing　materials；　and　took　out
of　his　pocket…book　the　fatal　letter　of　introduction　to　〃Mrs。
Mandeville〃　which　he　had　received　from　the　major's　wife。

A　man　accustomed　to　consider　consequences　and　to　prepare　himself
for　action　by　previous　thought　would；　in　Allan's　present
circumstances；　have　felt　some　difficulty　as　to　the　course　which
it　might　now　be　least　embarrassing　and　least　dangerous　to　pursue。
Accustomed　to　let　his　impulses　direct　him　on　all　other　occasions；
Allan　acted　on　impulse　in　the　serious　emergency　that　now
confronted　him。　Though　his　attachment　to　Miss　Gwilt　was　nothing
like　the　deeply　rooted　feeling　which　he　had　himself　honestly
believed　it　to　be；　she　had　taken　no　common　place　in　his
admiration；　and　she　filled　him　with　no　common　grief　when　he
thought　of　her　now。　His　one　dominant　desire；　at　that　critical
moment　in　his　life；　was　a　man's　merciful　desire　to　protect　from
exposure　and　ruin　the　unhappy　woman　who　had　lost　her　place　in　his
estimation；　without　losing　her　claim　to　the　forbearance　that
could　spare；　and　to　the　compassion　that　could　shield　her。　〃I
can't　go　back　to　Thorpe　Ambrose；　I　can't　trust　myself　to　speak　to
her；　or　to　see　her　again。　But　I　can　keep　her　miserable　secret；
and　I　will！〃　With　that　thought　in　his　heart；　Allan　set　himself　to
perform　the　first　and　foremost　duty　which　now　claimed　himthe
duty　of　communicating　with　Mrs。　Milroy。　If　he　had　possessed　a
higher　mental　capacity　and　a　clearer　mental　view；　he　might　have
found　the　letter　no　easy　one　to　write。　As　it　was；　he　calculated
no　consequences；　and　felt　no　difficulty。　His　instinct　warned　him
to　withdraw　at　once　from　the　position　in　which　he　now　stood
toward　the　major's　wife；　and　he　wrote　what　his　instinct　counseled
him　to　write　under　those　circumstances；　as　rapidly　as　the　pen
could　travel　over　the　paper：


〃Dunn's　Hotel；　Covent　Garden；　Tuesday。

〃DEAR　MADAMPray　excuse　my　not　returning　to　Thorpe　Ambrose
today；　as　I　said　I　would。　Unforeseen　circumstances　oblige　me　to
stop　in　London。　I　am　sorry　to　say　I　have　not　succeeded　in　seeing
Mrs。　Mandeville；　for　which　reason　I　cannot　perform　your　errand；
and　I　beg；　therefore；　with　many　apologies；　to　return　the　letter
of　introduction。　I　hope　you　will　allow　me　to　conclude　by　saying
that　I　am　very　much　obliged　to　you　for　your　kindness；　and　that　I
will　not　venture　to　trespass　on　it　any　further。

〃I　remain；　dear　madam；　yours　truly；

〃ALLAN　ARMADALE。〃


In　those　artless　words；　still　entirely　unsuspicious　of　the
character　of　the　woman　he　had　to　deal　with；　Allan　put　the　weapon
she　wanted　into　Mrs。　Milroy's　hands。

The　letter　and　its　inclosure　once　sealed　up　and　addressed；　he　was
free　to　think　of　himself　and　his　future。　As　he　sat　idly　drawing
lines　with　his　pen　on　the　blotting…paper；　the　tears　came　into　his
eyes　for　the　first　timetears　in　which　the　woman　who　had
deceived　him　had　no　share。　His　heart　had　gone　back　to　his　dead
mother。　〃If　she　had　been　alive；〃　he　thought；　〃I　might　have
trusted　_her；_　and　she　would　have　comforted　me。〃　It　was　useless
to　dwell　on　it；　he　dashed　away　the　tears；　and　turned　his
thoughts；　with　the　heart…sick　resignation　that　we　all　know；　to
living　and　present　things。

He　wrote　a　line　to　Mr。　Bashwood；　briefly　informing　the　deputy
steward　that　his　absence　from　Thorpe　Ambrose　was　likely　to　be
prolonged　for　some　little　time；　and　that　any　further　instructions
which　might　be　necessary；　under　those　circumstances；　would　reach
him　through　Mr。　Pedgift　the　elder。　This　done；　and　the　letters
sent　to　the　post；　his　thoughts　were　forced　back　once　more　on
himself。　Again　the　blank　future　waited　before　him　to　be　filled
up；　and　again　his　heart　shrank　from　it　to　the　refuge　of　the　past。

This　time　other　images　than　the　image　of　his　mother　filled　his
mind。　The　one　all…absorbing　interest　of　his　earlier　days　stirred
living　and　eager　in　him　again。　He　thought　of　the　sea；　he　thought
of　his　yacht　lying　idle　in　the　fishing　h　arbor　at　his
west…country　home。　The　old　longing　got　possession　of　him　to　hear
the　wash　of　the　waves；；　to　see　the　filling　of　the　sails；　to　feel
the　vessel　that　his　own　hands　had　helped　to　build　bounding　under
him　once　more。　He　rose　in　his　impetuous　way　to　call　for　the
time…table；　and　to　start　for　Somersetshire　by　the　first　train；
when　the　dread　of　the　questions　which　Mr。　Brock　might　ask；　the
suspicion　of　the　change　which　Mr。　Brock　might　see　in　him；　drew
him　back　to　his　chair。　〃I'll　write；〃　he　thought；　〃to　have　the
yacht　rigged　and　refitted；　and　I'll　wait　to　go　to　Somersetshire
myself　till　Midwinter　can　go　with　me。〃　He　sighed　as　his　memory
reverted　to　his　absent　friend。　Never　had　he　fell　the　void　made　in
his　life　by　Midwinter's　departure　so　painfully　as　he　felt　it　now；
in　the　dreariest　of　all　social　solitudesthe　solitude　of　a
stranger　in　London；　left　by　himself　at　a　hotel。

Before　long；　Pedgift　Junior　looked　in；　with　an　apology　for　his
intrusion。　Allan　felt　too　lonely　and　too　friendless　not　to
welcome　his　companion's　re…appearance　gratefully。　〃I'm　not　going
back　to　Thorpe　Ambrose；〃　he　said；　〃I'm　going　to　stay　a　little
while　in　London。　I　hope　you　will　be　able　to　stay　with　me？〃　To　do
him　justice；　Pedgift　was　touched　by　the　solitary　position　in
which　the　owner　of　the　great　Thorpe　Ambrose　estate　now　appeared
before　him。　He　had　never；　in　his　relations　with　Allan；　so
entirely　forgotten　his　business　interests　as　he　forgot　them　now。

〃You　are　quite　right；　sir；　to　stop　here；　London's　the　place　to
divert　your　mind；〃　said　Pedgift；　cheerfully。　〃All　business　is
more　or　le